I do not own the rights to Tochwood or Doctor Who, or any of the characters from either.
This story is purely fictional, and any similarities to people in the real world are purely coincidental.

A/N: Thanks to my awesome, amazing, totally wicked cool beta letmefallasleep. Make sure to check out her stuff too, if you're into dark depressing stories versus my good prevails over evil stories. =]

Chapter One: Come In Closer

As Ianto walked through the darkness, all he could think is how much he wished the team was walking through it with him, protecting him from the unseen dangers that seemed to be lurking about. He looked anxiously around, anticipating something about to jump out at him, his heart beating out of his chest. Finally, after what seemed like hours he reached the SUV. He jumped in, locked the doors, put the key in the ignition, and froze. Slowly, he looked up at the rearview mirror, and jumped, before breathing a sigh of relief at the familiar face.

"What are you doing here Jack?" He asked nervously, his relief turning to irritability. 'Who the hell does he think he is, here in the back of my SUV scaring the life out of me like that?'.

"You know quite well what I'm doing here, Ianto. I came looking for you. What the hell were you thinking? We need to talk… We really need to talk," Jack said curtly.

"If you insist, Jack," Ianto retorted, matching Jack's short tone, and rolling his eyes at him.

They arrived at Ianto's apartment building, and took the stairs up to the ninth floor in silence, fervently refusing to look at each other. Ianto fumbled to get the key in the lock, berating himself. 'Get yourself together for Pete's sake, what's wrong with you?' he thought.

As they entered, Jack expected to see a tidy, modern contemporary space, mostly dark, with a few splashes of color. He was surprised though, as he gazed the mostly empty room, with a few empty bottles of Bailey's sitting on the dining room table, stopping at the edge of a futon covered with clothing. Ianto threw his keys down on an end table near the door, spinning around, and staring at him coldly.

"So Jack, what is it that you are dying to talk to me about?" he said as he glared icily at Jack.

"What's going on with you? Are you okay?" Jack put his hand on Ianto's shoulder and looked him square in the eye, concern written across his face.

"I-I'm fine, I've… I've never been better," He managed to sputter out, eyes still locked with Jack's.

"You could have fooled me. Well, now that I've found you, I'd really like to understand some things," Jack responded.

Ianto nodded, walking over to the futon and scooping all the clothes into his arms, before disappearing for a moment. He returned, and motioned for Jack to sit, nervously wringing his hands. He sighed and asked, "Alright, Jack. What would you like to know?"

"Well, for starters… We all thought you were dead up until a few days ago when Tosh picked up abnormal readings here in Los Angeles and spotted you on CCTV. How could you be here alive, and keep that from us, keep that from me?" Jack paused for a single breath before continuing. "I've been out of my mind -"

Ianto cut him off mid-sentence. "You've been out of your mind, Jack? Did you ever stop to think about how much you hurt me? How I must feel?" he blurted out, as he started to sob uncontrollably, turning his face away from the other man.

Jack reached out and put one hand on Ianto's hand, and the other on his face, turning it towards him. "Listen to me, you know that I care about you very much, Ianto… But you also know that I'm not perfect. But I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…"

Ianto nodded. "I'm so tired.. I'm so tired of trying to hate you… you're all that I can think about," He admitted, before laying his head down on Jack's lap and closing his eyes, choking back his tears.

They stayed that way for quite some time, until Jack was sure Ianto had fallen asleep. He ran his fingers gently through his sandy blonde hair, before carrying him into the bedroom and laying him down on the bed. He wrapped his arms around him, and realized just how much he had missed the way he smelled…

… And fell asleep with his head resting on Ianto's neck.

The next morning, Jack awoke to the smell of coffee. He got out of bed and walked to the door, opening it slowly.

"Good morning, Jack," Ianto said as he smiled warmly. "Coffee?" He asked, extending a cup towards him.

"Yeah, that smells amazing." Taking the cup, he looked around at the now spotless apartment, not one thing out of place.

"Got an early start on the day, there's much to be done." Ianto explained, a little embarrassed as he saw the bemused look on Jack's face.

"You're right about that, we should already be back at base… back home." Jack said as he motioned towards the door.

"Jack, this is home now, I'm not going back. I don't want that life anymore, at least not right now," Ianto said quietly, sitting down.