Codename: Kids Next Door and all associated characters (C) Curious Pictures, used without permission.
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After Fanny Fulbright got home from the arcade, she angrily marched up to her room without even a loving word to her mom and dad or, of course, her brothers. Her destination: Her computer.
It was only a few seconds before she was hooked up to the KND Global Network of spy satellites, with her favorite webforum open in another window. The satellites she directed not to track evil adults but rather, her sworn enemy Nigel Uno.
[If you want to know WHY he's her sworn enemy, see my previous fic, "A Day At the Arcade" -- self-pluggin' Bit Star
At every action her enemy took, Fanny's anger rose. Oh, there he was reuniting with that twerp Kuki! Oh sure, Fanny and Kuki had been friends once, but anyone hanging out with Nigel MUST be as big a jerk as he is!
There Nigel was, taking Kuki and Mushi home. The NERVE of him to accompany them home like he was some sort of watchdog! Did he think they were so INFERIOR to him that he needed to guide their every action? How DARE he walk the girl home? What kind of macho thickheaded moron does THAT?
And now he was going back to his treehouse! Ha, figures! Fanny thought. Nigel is such a lifeless introvert, he never leaves his tree!
Fanny wasn't content keeping these thoughts to herself, so she went to her livejournal and started typing a huge, long entry on every reason she could think of for why Nigel Uno was the worst man alive.
Seven hours later, a knock came to her door.
"What is it?" Fanny yelled, still in the midst of typing her livejournal entry.
The door opened, and in stepped her little brother Patty, carrying a bowl of food. "Dad said to bring this to you before it got cold."
"Put it on the table!" Fanny said, and went back to typing.
Patty did, having to clear off all her junk because Fanny could never keep her room organized. He reflected that it hadn't always been like this: There was a time when all Fanny cared about was being neat and tidy and doing her best. Then she had started coaxing Patty into doing her chores for her and spent all her time online. She became more spoiled, always expecting them to do everything for her and never even giving so much as a word of thanks for it.
Patty looked at her, and asked, "Writing about Nigel again?"
"None of your business!" Fanny yelled.
Patty sighed. "So what did you do this time?"
"What did I do? HE always starts it! It's always HIS fault!" Fanny fumed.
"Uh-huh, sure. Just like it was HIS fault you started passing around false rumors about him and Kuki, which nearly destroyed his team--and which made your one and only best friend hate you for life?"
"But he... he was so mean to me after that!"
"Who wouldn't be?" Patty smirked. Patty couldn't hide the fact that he enjoyed a very unique position: One of the few people who had no reason to fear the threat of early decommissioning just for standing up to Fanny. Their father was Mr. Boss, and though he didn't like the idea of his own children being tools, he knew that having two teenage kids who would divulge KND secrets once past decommissioning age was too good to pass up. Therefore, he banned Fanny from ever decommissioning Patty or herself, on threat of he'd take away all her Rainbow Monkeys. Recently he updated that to include her computer, too.
In a way, Patty respected Nigel: Nigel had no such protection, and yet he still stood up to Fanny when she tried to cause trouble (and blame it on him, which she almost always tried to do).
"Just look at him!" Fanny said, pointing to her computer monitor. "Now he's taking his team to the Mall! Seriously, this kid has no life! All he ever does is hang out with his friends, talk about Yipper, and go to malls and places! He should be making something of his life! And then he acts like he's so priveleged! Ugh!"
Patty yawned, then grabbed the mouse and clicked on the livejournal window. At first Fanny tried to stop him, but then she saw he was reading her draft and figured that, well, maybe once Patty understands he'll stop arguing.
Instead Patty giggled a bit. "So, you tried to boss him around at the arcade, you kicked him out for no reason, and somehow that's HIS fault. Yeah, I get it. Typical Fanny talk." Patty left the computer, and walked to the door.
Before leaving, he said "You know what you're problem is? You're jealous. Nigel, he goes all over the place trying to help people, and when he's off duty he has friends he can hang out with. REAL friends, not just a bunch of nicknames he met on Livejournal. He gets out, he goes places. You? You sit on the internet all day stalking people you don't like so you can try to convince yourself that you're better than them, and you talk to two people who are just as phoney."
"PHONEY?!" Fanny fumed. "Who are you callin' PHONEY? Why I oughtta, I oughtta--what's your screen name? I'm gonna ban you right now!" Fanny turned to her computer to carry out her threat.
As Patty walked out the door, he said "I don't have a screen name, sis. That's YOUR department." There was a ring. Patty said "Oh, that must be Sam. Sam, you hear that? He's a REAL person, with a REAL name, ringing a REAL doorbell. And we're REALLY about to go to a movie together." Patty looked at his big sister. "You know, you could come with us if you like. We could hang out together, just like we used to before that computer took over your life."
Fanny didn't even turn around, and bitterly said "I'd rather stay here!"
"Suit yourself." Patty replied as he left.
Fanny was shaking with anger for moments afterwards. Ya see, every word her younger brother said was true, and people who are full of hate can't handle the truth. They always try to repress it, to dispose of it, to prove it wrong so they can throw it away and continue leading their sterilized lives of hate.
Suddenly a messenger window opened on the computer, and in it "boozak9963"--one of those two screen names Fanny always talked to--said "yo girl, whassup?"
Fanny immediately replied "Nothing much. Just thinking about how much boys suck. Let me tell you about my little brother..."
THE END
