want to know something really kind of spooky? my inspiration for this was 10 Things I Hate About You, andthe day after i started writing this, heath ledger died. it kind of freaked me out, and that's why it's taken me so long to put this up.

it's pretty short, and i like it a lot, so hopefully you will too.

-insert generic disclaimer here-

There are a million things Addison hates about Alex Karev

There are a million things Addison hates about Alex Karev. He's stubborn, he's idiotic, he's rude, he's obnoxious and he questions her authority. And those are only the reasons she can put into words. There's about a million other things about him that she can't figure out how to explain. They have something to do with the way he looks at her. Something in his eyes. Something's there that she feels like she should know the name for, but even though she wracks her brain, can't name. And that bugs the hell out of her.

You'd think with all these reasons she has, she'd have a really great number one reason to hate him. But her number one reason for hating him? She can't hate him at all. As hard as she tries, she can't. And that's why she hates him. He drives her crazy and there's about a billion and one reasons that she can't stand him, but she can't manage to muster up the least bit of hate. Which doesn't make sense, but that's what it is.

She hates herself for feeling this way, but it is what it is, so she deals with it as best she can, and tries to stay away from him. One of her greatest fears is that one day he'll talk to her and smile at her, because those two things, in combination with his all around him-ness, make her weak in the knees and effectively shut down her brain. And that is most definitely bad. Because she needs her brain to think about what she's doing and stop her from doing anything she might regret. So she avoids him as much as possible. And that goes rather well. Except when it doesn't.

It's one of those days that it's not going so well. Scratch that, it's one of those weeks that it's not going so well. He keeps showing up everywhere. Of course, he's her intern, so that would make sense. But he doesn't just show up in her OR. He shows up at her office, bearing her favorite coffee. He shows up in the NICU and has an actual conversation with her. He just keeps showing up, and it's beginning to annoy her. Because she's beginning to see someone else inside that extremely good looking shell. And that sucks, because she can't hate him if he's a decent person. And she really needs to hate him. Because if she doesn't hate him, then she actually has to examine just how she feels about him. And that scares her. So she hates him.

And then, the worst thing possible happens. He asks her if she wants to grab something to eat after their first surgery of the day. Which she knows is a horrible idea, and she's about to say no, but then he smiles, and she says yes. And that is how she ends up sitting across from Alex Karev in the cafeteria, with food that he paid for in front of her. She's trying to concentrate on what he's saying, but that just leads to a close examination of his lips. So then most of her concentration goes into not drooling. "Hmm?" she asks when she sees that he's waiting for an answer.

"I asked if you have any surgeries scheduled later."

"Oh. Um, yeah." A crushing light bulb moment. "Is that why you asked me to lunch? To get into my OR?"

"No. Well, maybe. A little."

"Okay, just wanted to clear things up," Addison says coldly. "I should probably go now."

"Wait, don't," he protests. She sends him a look. "Please? Just sit down."

"Why should I? I don't want to eat with someone who's just using me for surgery. I'd rather eat with someone who actually enjoys my company."

"I-"

"Don't even," she interrupts his protest. "Bye, Karev."

He stands up and chases after her. She knows they're making a scene, but she's just so pissed off at him that she doesn't even care. Well, at least it's much easier to hate him, now that she knows he's exactly what she thought he was. Just an angry playboy who will do anything to get what he wants, even sweet talk a sexually frustrated thirty-something divorcee. "Addison, wait," he calls after her. She keeps walking. "Wait." Still walking. He catches up to her and pulls her into a supply closet. She tries to get out, but he blocks the door, so she settles for an annoyed sigh and crossing her arms defiantly. "I'm not just being nice to you to get into your OR, Addison. I could do that without paying for your lunch and talking to you. I asked you because I wanted to eat with you, okay?"

"Fine," she says, and pushes past him to the door.

"Addison," he says as she pushes the door open, and he follows her into the hallway.

"What?" she snaps as she turns around. "Look, it's not that… I… Honestly, I kind of hate you," she admits.

"Why?"

"Why? Because your attitude sucks, you're stubborn, and rude, and obnoxious, and you don't listen to a word anyone says. And… and…" she stutters as he takes a step closer to her, and she backs away. "And you look at me, and I can't remember why I hate you, and I stutter, and I can't think, and… and… I can't come up with reasons why I hate you when you're around! And I just really need to hate you!"

"Why?"

"Karev, I-" She doesn't get to finish her sentence because her mouth becomes otherwise occupied. "Are you insane?" she hisses when they pull back for oxygen. "Anyone might have seen!" she exclaims. "And what gave you any hint that I might enjoy it? Did I not just explain how I hate you?" He just shrugs and looks angry. But something in his eyes makes her take a step closer to him and whisper in his ear, "If you're going to do something like that, do it in private. Meet me in the lobby at nine, okay?" He nods, and she retreats to her office to think about what just happened, and in all likelihood, overanalyze it, so that she's a nervous wreck by the time nine o'clock rolls around. As she walks away, though, it hits her. That giddy feeling, the one that she got when she first met Derek. That's why she hates him. He makes her feel good about herself. Like she deserves to be happy. Well, you know what? She does deserve to be happy. So screw hating him. It's too hard to and to feel good about herself in the process. That's not to say she loves him. She just doesn't hate him anymore. And that's a good thing.

so reviews?

-Juli-