A/N: Set in my Promise 'verse, this is the first of two chapters (the second is finished). The location of this fic is real but all OCs obviously have been invented.

The Secrets That We Keep

Chapter One

"How long until we get there?"

Lester gave Becker a long-suffering look. "I've only gone over it about a hundred times; I suppose once more won't kill me. The flight to Chicago is about eight hours and then to Champaign is another half hour, not including how long it takes us to board. I believe the drive from the airport to the school is about twenty minutes."

"There, see? It didn't kill you." Becker pressed a quick kiss to Lester's face.

"No, but you might," Lester grumbled and turned away.

Becker bit his lip and fought the urge to laugh. Lester's bad moods never failed to be amusing. He wasn't sure exactly when that had happened but it was probably a sign he was too smitten for his own good. Still, he didn't want to provoke Lester any further, not when they were stuck together on a flight for eight hours.

They were going to America on what Becker supposed would be called a business trip, though it certainly was unlike any sort of normal business trip. Specifically, they were heading to the University of Illinois to help with a recurring anomaly that had been causing the Americans no end of trouble. When Lester had briefed him, he had gone on for some time about international cooperation and then quite a bit of "showing the Americans how it's done" but Becker had tuned him out after a while. All he really needed to know was they were going on a trip and he would probably be asked to shoot something at some point.

Becker was looking forward to it, actually. He had never been to America and while a university in the Midwest wouldn't have been his first choice, he'd take what he could get. Especially considering he wasn't the one paying for it. He could almost pretend he was going on holiday with his lover, if not for the looming prospect of actually having to work.

"Hey, Lester, if I get a glass of champagne, will the ARC pay for it? Necessary expenses or something?"

Oh, right. And except for Connor.


It was late afternoon by the time they reached Urbana-Champaign in their rental car. Lester had arranged for them to meet with school officials in the morning so they had an early dinner before checking into a hotel off-campus. The six hour time difference was rather jarring and Becker found himself wanting to just collapse into bed in spite of the lingering daylight.

Connor followed Lester and Becker into their room, dumping his luggage in the middle of the floor before flopping down onto the bed. He bounced up and down a couple of times and then lay on his back with his knees bent over the side and his arms folded behind his head. "Ooh, nice bed."

Lester kicked his foot. "I think you'll find that next door you have your very own bed. A bed that you can have all to yourself."

"I'm only being friendly, Lester. This is the perfect opportunity for team bonding, don't you think? The three of us together in a strange country…"

Lester kicked his foot again.

Connor huffed and sat up, leaning on his elbows. "Okay, okay, I can take a hint." His expression turned sly. "I suppose you'd rather have some alone time with Becker in this big, comfy bed." He hopped off the bed, hefting his bag and going over to the door. "Try and remember that I'm only in the next room, though, yeah? Not all of us are lucky enough to have our significant others along for this trip. Besides, there are some things I'd really rather not know about you."

As Connor left, Becker went and wrapped his arms around Lester's waist, dropping his forehead onto Lester's shoulder. "That certainly didn't kill the mood."

"Oh, please. You're always in the mood."

"Hmm, good point, well made."

Lester stepped away and Becker let his arms slide away. "I need to unpack," Lester said as he went over to his garment bag.

"Yes, God forbid you get a wrinkle in one of your suits."

"I shouldn't think I need to make clear to you the importance of making a good impression."

"You impress people effortlessly, dearest," Becker said but he left Lester to it and started to unpack his own clothes. He liked to give Lester a hard time about his neatness but Lester knew as well as he did that Becker appreciated order nearly as much.

When his clothes were all put away, Lester brought a bag of toiletries into the bathroom.

"How's the bathroom?" Becker called, following him.

"I've seen better," Lester said, running a critical eye over the room.

Becker peered over his shoulder. Clean but small, with a shower but no tub. "Could be a lot worse."

"I suppose."

"Well," Becker said and tugged his shirt off over his head. "I don't know about you, but I'd like to have a shower. It will be more fun if you join me."

Lester looked uncertainly at the shower. "It's a bit small for both of us. I think we'd flood the room."

Becker shrugged and stepped out of his underwear. That was definitely an exaggeration. "Your choice, sweetie."

After another moment of hesitation, Lester gave in and started to unbuckle his belt.

In the end, they simply showered together, literally. Becker always appreciated Lester's sure hands on him, even if there was nothing sexual about it.

They were both tired and feeling the jet lag, so it wasn't long before they crawled into bed. Becker draped an arm over Lester's waist and closed his eyes, falling asleep to the low hum of the TV.


As they drove through campus, Becker sat in the front seat and listened with amusement to Lester curse under his breath and mutter about everything from one-way streets to idiotic pedestrians to terrible American drivers. He had offered to drive himself but Lester had looked at Becker like he was crazy, so he had dropped it, even though he'd had a suspicion this is what would happen.

They were heading to the Public Safety Building for their meeting, which was located in the northern-most area of campus. Becker as of yet had failed to notice any sort of unity or symmetry within the university set-up - the architecture was diverse and varied, but it was still somehow pleasing. There was a fair abundance of trees and greenery that helped and the mish-mash of buildings was a little bit charming.

Their destination was a brick building with a large, arched entranceway. They followed the directory to the correct room, where they were met by a secretary. She ushered them right through the door behind her.

A small dark-skinned woman in perhaps her fifties stood up to greet them. "Good morning, gentlemen! I'm Patti Stern, the university's Executive Director of Public Safety."

Lester shook her outstretched hand. "James Lester. We spoke on the phone?"

"Yes, of course. It's a pleasure to meet you in person. I hope you didn't have any trouble getting here."

"No, the trip went quite smoothly." He gestured to Becker and Connor to come forward. "These are my colleagues, Captain Becker, our head of security, and Connor Temple, one of our scientists."

Ms Stern had a firm handshake and a pleasant, if well-practiced, smile. "I can't thank you enough for coming."

"There's no need to try," Lester said, taking the offered seat. He had fallen into that effortlessly polite and charming manner of speaking that Becker was always impressed by. "I've explained to Captain Becker and Mr Temple most of what you told me on the phone, but if you don't mind, I'd like to go over the situation."

"Absolutely, that won't be a problem. The… anomaly?" Ms Stern hesitated but continued at a small nod from Lester. "It's been opening periodically in the middle of the soccer field. Every fifty hours, on the dot, and it stays open for nearly two hours. Luckily it's the summer term so the campus isn't nearly as busy as usual and the soccer stadium is a fair distance away from the heart of campus, but we've still had some unfortunate accidents."

"But still no deaths?"

"No, no deaths as of yet, thank God. We were forced to cancel some of our summer athletic camps for safety reasons. We've blocked off the area as best we can and campus police have been working with animal handlers to contain any creatures that have come through."

"Surely you're not keeping them?" Becker said, unable to keep the wariness from his voice.

Ms Stern's reassurance was immediate. "Of course not, no. We send them back through as quickly as we can. The ones that we've captured alive, anyway. We've tried not to harm them unless absolutely necessary, but…" She trailed off with a tiny, uncomfortable shrug of her shoulders.

Lester nodded. "Yes, I understand. When will the anomaly open next?"

"Tomorrow, one o'clock in the afternoon."

"Connor, is that enough time for you to put something together to close it?"

Connor shrugged. "Honestly? I doubt it."

"Anything you can do will be a help," Ms Stern said as she called her assistant into the office. "Mr Lester, is it all right if Mr Temple gets to work straight away on the technical side of things?"

Lester waved a hand in acquiescence. "By all means, put him to work."

"Well, then, Mr Temple, we have a lab set up for you and I've arranged a team of physicists and engineers to assist you. Please, whatever you need, don't hesitate to ask."

"Thanks," Connor said and allowed himself to be led off by Ms Stern's assistant. His steps had a small bounce to them and Becker knew he was going to love this, the opportunity to geek out with like-minded people.

Lester returned his focus to the matter at hand. "Ms Stern, please correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe you said the anomaly connects to the Oligocene?"

"Yes, that's right. We sent a team of experts through to identify-"

"You let people go through the anomaly?" Becker interrupted.

"Well, yes. We thought it best to learn everything we could and..." Ms Stern stopped, seeming flustered. "Was that wrong? I did inform Mr Lester when we spoke that a team had been sent through."

Becker's gaze flew to Lester, aghast, but Lester was steadfastly looking away. "The anomalies are dangerous. You have no idea what can happen on the other end; no one should ever be allowed through except as a last resort, and even then..."

"I'm sorry, Captain. This is all quite new to us; you'll have to forgive any errors in judgment."

"I'm sure Captain Becker meant no offense," Lester cut in smoothly before Becker could respond. "He takes his duties very seriously."

She smiled carefully, looking relieved. "Of course. I understand."

The voice of Ms Stern's assistant rang out over the intercom. "Ms Stern, Lieutenant Schuster is here to see you."

"Oh, send him in, thank you."

The door opened and a tall, bulky man in a police uniform entered. "Good morning, Ms Stern."

"Thank you for coming, Lieutenant. This is Lieutenant Martin Schuster of campus police. He's been heading the anomaly containment team," Ms Stern informed them. "Allow me to introduce James Lester and Captain Becker, of England's Anomaly Research Centre."

"Pleasure," Schuster said as he shook their hands.

"I thought Lieutenant Schuster and Captain Becker might like to get better acquainted. I'm sure he can explain things much better than I can."

"Splendid idea," Lester agreed readily. "Captain, why don't you retrieve the EMDs and show them to the lieutenant?" Lester met Becker's eye. "Go on and play with your toys. I'll meet you later."

"Yes, sir," Becker said, less successful at sounding deferential than he had wanted, judging by the look on the American's face. While Becker was no longer officially British military, he could still make them look bad. He resolved to try harder.

Becker walked out of the room with Schuster at his side, heading for the car where he'd left the EMDs. Becker had been able to bring two in his luggage, thanks to Lester. He sometimes thought that the best thing about Lester was the way he always handled everything. It made Becker's life a lot easier.

"Where do you serve?" Schuster asked.

"I work privately now, but I was Special Forces."

He gave an approving nod. "Special Forces, eh? Tough bastards. I'm ex-Army myself."

That was reassuring. It was good to know that if Becker was going to be saddled with a bunch of police officers, at least one of them was military.

"So tell me about this EMD thing your boss mentioned."

"It's an electro-muscular disruptor, works a bit like a taser on a larger scale."

Schuster eyed him doubtfully as Becker led him to their rental car. "I think I'd rather have a gun."

"I felt the same, believe me, but we've had great success with them. One of these can literally take out a fully-grown T. rex, as long as you hit it enough times."

"A T. rex, really?" Schuster asked, begrudgingly impressed.

"Our team leader designed them." Becker pulled an EMD out of the boot but left it in its case, thinking it probably wouldn't be a good idea to take a weapon out into the open on a university campus, even if he did have permission to have it. "Is there somewhere we can go where I can show you how it works?"

"Sure, there's a shooting range we can use. I can fill you in on what we've been doing on the way."

"Sounds great," Becker said. He didn't have much to go on, but Schuster seemed competent enough so far. Becker hoped the rest of his team would be of the same mould.


Becker didn't see Lester again until they met for dinner and a couple of drinks before heading back to the hotel. Lester was subdued in a way that telegraphed to Becker a high level of stress, so Becker was doing his best not to add to it, even if he was worried himself - and even if he was pissed off about Lester not telling him people had been through the anomaly. Becker was an amazing boyfriend sometimes, he thought.

Connor emerged long enough to phone Lester with an update, saying that they were making progress but slowly. Becker could tell Lester was frustrated, but he only calmly told Connor not to overwork himself, that if they couldn't close the anomaly tomorrow they would simply have to contain it. Becker was grateful Connor couldn't see the expression on Lester's face as he said that.

There were so many things that could go wrong. The Americans expected them to be experts and Becker supposed they were, but it wasn't nearly so cut and dry as that. No matter how many times he did this, there were still shouts that made Becker feel completely foolish. His biggest concern was his back-up.

Lieutenant Schuster was part of a tactical response team made up of a combination of officers from the university and surrounding towns that were trained for the more high-risk situations that could occur, hostage incidents, barricaded armed subjects, and the like. It made Becker feel slightly better about the whole thing but he was still nervous at the prospect of relying on police rather than military.

"Campus police," he mumbled under his breath.

"What was that?" Lester asked, glancing at him.

"Nothing."

"Complaining already, darling? We've only been here a day." Though Lester spoke lightly, the strain on his face was obvious to Becker.

He wanted to stay quiet. He shouldn't add to Lester's problems but he was unable to keep himself from saying, "Oh, it's just… If we get to that anomaly and anything comes through, you know what my back-up is going to be? Campus police. Campus police! How am I supposed to work with that?"

"You seemed to get along fine with the lieutenant today."

"Well, sure, he seemed decent enough, but that's completely different. That wasn't during an incursion." And he at least had a military background. Becker knew better than to expect it of everyone else.

"They've been dealing with the anomalies on their own for nearly two weeks. I think you're selling them a bit short."

Becker breathed out through his mouth. He probably was. But he still… "I don't like it, that's all. It isn't what I'd choose."

"I know but I'm afraid you'll have to make do with what you're given. We all will."

"I hope it doesn't end up biting us in the arse. The blood will be on our hands."

There was weary sorrow in Lester's voice when he spoke. "Isn't it always?"

"Yes," Becker said and stared at his hands. Always.

For a moment Lester was silent and then he added, almost tentatively, "If I may venture to be so bold, I believe I know what this is really about."

"Do you?"

"You're still upset about what Ms Stern told us." It was a statement rather than a question.

Bugger. Lester always saw straight through him. "It doesn't matter."

"Clearly it matters to you, so it matters to me," Lester said, sounding almost fierce in his conviction.

Becker looked into Lester's eyes across the table. "You shouldn't have kept it from me."

Lester had the grace to look chagrined. "I'm sorry. I knew it would upset you."

"I would rather have heard it from you than have it sprung on me like that."

"I'm sorry," he said again. "I thought... I don't know what I thought. But it's okay, isn't it? Nothing happened."

"No, it isn't okay," Becker said sharply. "They don't understand. No one does. The anomalies aren't a game; it's not some carefree romp into another time, a nice afternoon outing to look at some dinosaurs."

"Ms Stern assured me that they took their venture very seriously. They were quite safe."

"Anomalies are never safe! Do you think Danny was just fooling around and suddenly couldn't get home? Do you think I didn't take every precaution I could think of when I let Sarah come on that rescue mission? It didn't matter, none of it! Sarah trusted me and she died fucking screaming." Becker squeezed his eyes shut against the memory of it. He would never be able to forget it, Sarah's fear and the horrible cries torn from her before the creatures ripped her throat out. "I couldn't even bring her body back for her family. You can't understand so don't fucking tell me they were safe."

Lester was staring at him in shock. It was the first time Becker had ever actually spoken about Sarah, stuttered explanations and half-strangled apologies aside.

"I won't let it happen again. I won't lose anyone, not someone I care about and not even these stupid bloody Americans."

Without saying a word, Lester got up and pulled his chair over next to Becker. Lester simply sat beside him, running his fingertips up and down the back of Becker's neck, lightly and carefully, and then started moving his hand in circles on Becker's back. Becker felt guilt creeping in for the way he had shouted. He was sorry for having said Lester couldn't understand, even if it was true.

"Come to bed," Lester said, kissing Becker's neck just beyond the edge of his collar.

That seemed as good a suggestion as any so Becker got up from the table. They prepared for bed, manoeuvring around each other with less ease than usual, given the size of the bathroom.

Becker stretched out on his back beneath the duvet while Lester switched the light off and got in beside him. Normally Lester liked to read before bed, unless he was particularly tired or tense, but Becker suspected he was forgoing it this time out of concern for Becker.

He stared up at the ceiling and tried to clear his mind, willing himself to sleep. He had nearly resorted to counting sheep when Lester broke the silence.

"Stop brooding, it isn't good for you."

"I'm not brooding."

"Oh?" Lester rolled onto his elbow and traced a hand over Becker's face. "What do you call it, then? You'll ruin your complexion."

Becker took a breath and made an effort to relax, smoothing out his expression. He grabbed Lester's hand and gripped it to his chest. "I can't sleep. Please, will you just..."

Lester didn't say anything, just kissed him, tasting minty like his toothpaste, and Becker stopped thinking. There was only the roll and press of their bodies beneath the duvet, Lester's mouth and hands on Becker's skin. It was slower and more tender than Becker usually preferred but it was exactly what he needed. His release took him almost unaware, gasping into Lester's clavicle and leaving shallow scratches all down Lester's back.

He felt better after and dropped easily into sleep, with Lester curled around him and breathing evenly into the back of his neck.


The next morning after breakfast, Becker set up a Skype call on his laptop to speak to Jess. Though it had only been a few days, it was good to see her cheerful, friendly face. She gave Becker a brief update on the situation at the ARC before pleading for details about their trip.

"I wish I could have come along," she said plaintively. "I've never been to America; I'm sure it must be more exciting than staying here."

"I don't know about that," Becker said, glancing up as Lester went to open the door.

Connor pushed his way through, leaning over Becker's shoulder at the computer screen. "Oh, hi, Jess! Is Abby there?"

"She's in the menagerie and she said to tell you nothing at all interesting has happened since the last time you spoke."

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" Lester said, looking sternly at Connor.

"Right," Connor said, straightening up guiltily. "I came by to talk to you."

Becker redirected his attention to Jess. "So that's how it is here," he said ruefully.

Jess was grinning. "Same as always?"

"Same as always," he confirmed.

"Do you know why I think Lester brought you rather than anyone else? Aside from the obvious, I mean."

"Because I serve the dual purpose of protecting him from both the creatures and the Americans?"

"Because you're probably the only person in the world who will be able to get him home without him having suffered a nervous breakdown."

"Sometimes I wonder if even I can pull that off." Becker turned away from the screen for a moment to watch Lester and Connor, Connor speaking quickly while Lester crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Sorry, Jess, I've got to run. Connor looks like he has no idea that he's about to be murdered." Becker ended the connection to the sound of Jess' laughter.

"Hey, Connor," Becker cut in, standing up and placing himself between the other two men. "Shouldn't you be heading back to the lab?"

"I am," Connor protested. "That's what I've been saying, but I'm trying to explain to Lester that the whole thing's no good, I've got to-"

Becker gripped his arm and dragged him towards the door. "Great, fine, but you'd best be on your way, yeah?" In a lower voice, he added, "Come on, Connor, you know better than to start making excuses to Lester. He's stressed enough as is; no need to pile it on. He'll only take it out on you." And me, Becker thought. Mostly on me.

"I know, sorry," Connor said and stepped back into the corridor. "I just don't want him to be expecting… Oh, never mind. See you later?"

"See you later," Becker said, closing the door and pressing his back against it. One crisis averted, at least. He wondered if he could make it out of the hotel at least before the next one.