CHAPTER 1- CHANGES
She has been unusually quiet for the past couple of couldn´t even say when it had started or when he´ve become to realize, but somewhere over the great amount of time that Special agent Seeley Booth spent with dr. Temperance " Bones" Brennan, he suddenly felt that something was out of place there. He could read his Bones like he could read his own hands. She would be more contemplative about serious and silly stuff, since arguing about the exixtence of a God or the flavor of an ice cream. She was talking way too much less than the usual, and that alone would seriously freak booth out. It´s not like she didn´t talk at all, for Lord knew that when it came about Bones, sometimes it simply didn´t have a way to make her silent. temperance Brennan wasn´t and probably would never be a woman that wouldn´t speak her mind of something if she felt the need to. But lately, it seemed that she didn´t felt this kind or urge as often as she´ve always did.
By the first times that these things happened, Booth had asked if something was wrong, concern all over his eyes like always. And then, she gave him that sad smile that he knew deep down that yes, something was wrong, but she wasn´t quite ready to talk about it. \she was rationalizing, compatimentalizing and trying really hard to understand wathever was going on to be able to finally put it in smile was meant only for him, and he knew it. It was her way to say that she appreciated his caring, but needed her time.
But as the days passed more and more and his |Bones started acting more and more oddly, Seeley Booth was finding really hard to respect her space and not barg into her office and scream "Okay, Bones. Spill." Specially because he was almost sure that now, whatever her problem was, it had at least a tiny part with him. She started as contemplative, quiter, even more meek with his decisions. Oh, they still bickered. But much less. She just didn´t seem interested to keep on discussing like they always did. Then, she have became really jumpy. If Brennan was in her office gazing deeply at some evidence and he entered, even if he did it swiftly, she would cringe and actually jump of pure surprise or scare althought when they were together she barely looked at him, Booth was able to caugh stealing glances of her eyes gazing at him, with always a hint of fear of being discovered doing so. Now, he could explain the jumpiness, for he knew that she wasn´t sleeping very well for the past days. She've told him herself in a particular morning when one of their discussions had got a little heated, and suddenly her eyes filled with tears. She was then fast to explain that she hadn´t been able to sleep more than trhee hours, and that sleep deprivation could make the person unreasonable and emotional. He ´ve tried to help her with the sleeping part, trying to take her of the lab earlier at nights in order to give her more hours of sleep. She would usually refuse, but even when she sighed and let him guide her out of the Institute and until her place, he knew she wouldn´t sleep. he´ve found that out one night when, after droping her by home, decided to stay inside his car across the street after saying goodbye. her lights kept on until three in the morning, and she was back at the jeffersonian, as always, at seven, maximum.
Then, there was the touching thing. Since they partnership had started,Seeley Booth´s hand had always found it´s way to Bones´s small of her back. She never seemed to mind, until the day he once again rested his hand there and she froze for seconds before relaxing and pretending that it didn´t happened. Being a gentleman, Booth did the same. But those freezing moments, her body standind still by the touch of his hand never stopped to confuse him. After that first time, he realized that she no longer froze, that was for sure. But something had definitely changed, because for now, when his hand rested on her back, she seemed to lean a little closer, as if asking for more proximity. he would then try to question her with his eyes, but no response would come. Her cheeks would be flushed, and her eyes would be anywhere but in front of his.
Booth could no longer try to deny or ignore it. Something had changed, and it was killing him not to know what exactly was going on. Was it a good change? a bad one? Was his Bones no longer satisfied with what he´ve always thought was an amazing partnership, in so many ways? And that´s when he decided that Bones´s personal space to overthink was over. Time to do team work.
(--------------------------)
temperance Brennan was proud to say that she and most of people who knew her considered her a woman of great discernment and logic. A woman which didn´t get evolved with mundane things, that didn´t fantasied about a perfect world, life or love, for she knew such things were utopic, to say the least. She´ve grown and studied to believe in that, to be analytic and scientific. And that was why she now kept asking herself why she coudn´t quite believe in all of that anymore. The perfect life, love; she wanted it all of a sudden. Anthropology had betrayed her once more, after the happenings of Booth´s birthday. Anthropology had proved her wrong once again. She studied all her life to convince herself that we are made of urges deeply buried inside us, programed by our genetic code and modified and shaped by the ages and the civilizations that occupied the world from time to time. there were no such things like feelings on procreating,protecting your offspring,aging and fighting for those ones. Those things were simple survival, and it remained until today, only mascared by behavior accepted façades.
So, it scared the hell out of her when she felt a thud in her heart by the thought of becoming someone´s mother one day, out of no where. She´ve never wanted to be a mother. For so many different reasons. But without she even realize, slowly things had started to change somewhere on the road. First, she thought that it was only her biological clock starting to wake up. It was just her body signaling to her that yes, it was ready to bare a child. But biological clocks don´t make you stop at one random street just to admire a beatiful baby on her mother´s lap,right? It doesn´t make you wonder how warm and miraculous must be to have this complete defenseless little person in your arms, doesn´t make you wonder how it must feel to have your child moving inside your womb. She didn´t fight love anymore, for she was now much more wiser than before. Love do exist. And she loved so many people. Ange. Her strange family. Parker. Booth. Booth, most of all. Not that he or any other person knew how deep she felt it anyway. And how stronger it was getting day by day, in a way that it was starting to get dificult to see him everyday and not blush like a teenager.
But it all had started with motherhood and her surprising desire to experiment that. being a woman that never did anything without a lot of thinking, she took her time. She lined the pros and cons, she became quieter, insightful. She kept thinking about it again and again, not wanting to dismiss anything. During those contemplative days,, she was not naïve to think that Booth wouldn´t notice that something serious was on her mind. And it happened exactly how she´ve foresaw; He asked if she was ok, and she´ve given him their smile. The one they reserved only for one to another, the one that said " I want to tell you sometime. I trust you. Ask me later."
And then, after a long night awake, she discovered that in her list, the pros were way much bigger than the cons. She´ve stayed wide eyes and mouth agape for at least half an hour, coming to terms with what her mind and heart was telling her: She wanted to be a mother. She wanted to have a baby. She was so struck by this sudden twist and change of plans in her life that she actually almost fell in tears the next day during a silly argument with Booth. But she was truly scared, and why not to admit, sensitive. That was no turning back for her, she realized by the moment she made the decision. She wanted a baby, so badly that it might hurt. If anthropology showed her so many things about maternal instincts, it still no way nearly matched what she felt just by the thought of becoming someone´s "mommy". And she wasn´t even carrying a child yet. It was an amazing discovery,and she felt as if nature was giving her the chance to learn from the true master.
Being a pratical woman, she didn´t want to waste any time. She had a big appartment. She could afford very well a child. She was in perfect health. And more importantly, she wanted that. So, Brennan took no time to start analysing the situation. She had everything to bare a baby, except for a very crucial part: A father. And she meant that. At first, temperance had actually considered a sperm donnor, but the idea alone gave her the creeps for some reason. It felt...so unpersonal. And so unfair with her unborn child. Who was she to deny a kid the whole package, mom and dad in place; She wanted her child to be loved in every possible way, everytime,everyday. So, her annalytical mind started once again to work, processing and searching for all the good men she knew and that would be somewhat willing to share this with her. He wouldn´t have to do most of the job, that would be very clear. He could be as evolved as he wanted to be. All she would ask was for him to care enough for the child, and give him or her the assurance that he\her was loved. Once the decision was made, temperance truly felt that her life, despite the prospective changing in the future, would be back to normal basis at least for a while. But Oh, she was wrong. She wasn~t counting with destiny( which she never even believed,by the way). She wasn´t counting with Seeley Booth.
It didn´t happened during a midnight lightening storm with them both trapped on a field. It didn´t happened with a sudden revelation, a clear before her eyes with bells ringing over her ears. She´ve heard many stories about how stressful situations could make someone realize how much you cared or even loved another person, thinking that, if life is going to end right now, then you have to be honest with your feelings. There was no bomb ready to explode near them. No deathly illness striking their bodies. No gunshots on their chests. In fact, all it took for Brennan was a cup of coffee early in the morning, a charming smile in her doorstep and a pair of brown eyes. And then, as simple as that, without any life threatening situation, she knew it. He was the one. Seeley Booth was the one. The one for her, the one with she would like to share all the feelings she´ve dismissed as being hormonal effects in the past. And she wasn´t even thinking about her imaginary but already very real in her mind baby at the time. All she could think was about how amazing her partner looked just standing at her door, smiling at her. She followed him to his car in awe with her discovery, seating at his side and just enjoying the smell of his soap. Wondering how it would feel to use said soap in his body early morning with her fingers, his mouth fiding hers and doing an amazing job of exploration.
And then, it hit her. She was in love. She wanted a baby also. She was in deep trouble. For how could she just do both of them? Booth sure as hell didn´t feel the same. He had a line. She was right there with him when he drew that line. So, no way she could just look at him and say:
" hey Booth; I would like for us to be more than partners. Meaning lovers. maybe more. You know I´m not good at this. And by the way, I´ve also decided to be a mother. I'm looking for decent men to give me their seed and help me to raise this baby at least a little. In fact, you would be a great candidate." And with that, she could see Booth´s body lying on the floor after a heart attack.
It suddenly became very hard to be touched by Booth them. But also, it became very hard not to be touched by him either. Her body would cringe by any phisical contact, then start screaming for more, and she had to use all her self controll not to do things that noone should be alloes to see in public.. It soon became very difficult not to gaze( she refused to use the word ogle, as Angela would put) at him everytime she got the chance. Watching Seeley Booth from the corner of her eye had became an addiction. And then, Temperance had an ephifany: If there were a God, he or she was a great cosmical joker.
(-------------------------)
Drastic times called for drastic measures. Booth had learnt that the hard way, back in army. he hated what he was about to do. Yet, he saw no other solution. So, he waved fastly to the squint squad over the platform, all of them working on their newest case, except for his Bones. he knew because he´ve checked with Ange and learned that she was in her office not to be disturbed, making some research about an abnormalitie they´ve found on the current body they were working. But right now, Booth couldn´t care less.
He barged into her office like there was a bomb somewhere ready to explode, heading directly to her chair, grabbing her by her shoulders and leading his Bones the way out.
" Booth, what the hell..." She tried to fight against him, but this time there was no use. He had truly paralized her, just stopping to take her coat and purse.
" True time, Bones. I don´t like it much more than you, but we are heading to Sweets's office. We have an appointment."
TBC...
So, should I keep doing this one? There´s only one way for me to know, and it´s called reviews...c´mon,people!
