I had this thought while I was trying to write a different story (it's a Spencer/Emily story called "Lying is Easier") and couldn't get it out of my head until I finally got it written. I hope you like it! Please R&R!
Disclaimer:I do not own Criminal Minds or the chracters. I just like playing with them. :)
A Life in Ruins
Sometimes you don't know what you have until it's gone. You'd think I would be used to it by now. She's only the third person I've lost in my twenty-five years of existence. When I was eleven, I was running a fever and my dad had gone to the store in the middle of the night to get me medicine. He never came home. He was hit by a drunk driver. He died on impact so he didn't suffer, but Mom and I did. It got bad after the accident so my Aunt Penny came and lived with us for awhile. Soon everything went back to as normal as life could be. My mom moved us with the insurance money they gave us for my dad's death. Mom also put some away for college. It was what my dad wanted. He always had a plan for me to grow up and be somebody.
Around my Twenty-second birthday, Mom and Aunt Penny had a fight over how hard my mom was pushing me. I was already in college and had managed to do in four and a half years what it took normal kids eight years to accomplish. I already had a Ph.D in Psychology. Although that meant no real social life. That's what Aunt Penny was upset about. I never had time to let loose and have fun. I never minded it though. I was a nerd anyway and I wanted to make my dad proud. That was the last straw with Aunt Penny. She left promising to write or call every week. I never heard from her after that day.
Now, at twenty-five, I lose my mom. Everyone I know and love is either dead or never heard from again and I'm all alone with two and no friends. I decided to leave my home and start my own life. It was hard at first, but then when I decided to live in the streets, it got easier. No one expecting anything of me, no nagging to get my homework done, nothing. Even though I could afford my own house, I decided it was easier on the street. I was smart enough to stay close to shelters and not get in anyone's way, but sometimes things happened.
Only two days before my twenty- sixth birthday, some big guy named Lou was trying to go through my things. I got mad and grabbed the nearest thing I could find. Unfortunately it was a large tree branch and he got messed up bad before his friends jumped in to help. I almost got pummeled. Granted I got hit bad until some blonde lady jumped in and got them off me.
"What's going on here?" she asked.
I just stared at her, not saying anything.
"I asked if you fellas had a problem?" she turned to Big Lou and his friends. They muttered something about not wanting trouble and left.
The lady walked up to me and put her hand on my arm and asked if I was alright.
"Sure," I said. "Just peachy."
She chuckled. "My name's Jennifer Jareau."
"Alyson."
"Alyson, what?"
"Just Alyson. No use for last names out here." I tell her swiping my arm around the alleyway. I didn't mean to be rude to her but it's almost breakfast time at the kitchen and I was hungry.
Either she could read minds or the big grumbling in my stomach gave me away, but she asked if I wanted some breakfast. I agreed and grabbed my backpack to follow her to her car parked on the street.
"Thank-you," I tell her as she hands me a couple of doughnuts.
"No problem. I was on my way to work with these but there's always some left over."
We sit in silence for a few minutes while I eat my breakfast. I decided to break the silence. "So, Miss Jareau, where is it that you work?"
" Please, call me JJ. I work with the Behavioral Analysis Unit at the FBI."
"Wow, really?" I was shocked.
"Yep. Obviously you've heard about us," she said amused.
"Yeah, I mean that's why I worked so hard in college," I said before I caught myself.
She was quick catching my slip-up. "Oh, really what course studies?"
"Oh you know, Psychology, Criminology, the basics." I didn't want her to know just how far I'd gotten in those subjects.
"Wow, you really know your stuff. So why are you out here?"
Uh-oh. Dangerous territory. I needed to make-up something quick. "Well, my mom died and I had to cover her funeral costs and didn't have anything left." Nice save.
"No family? No one to turn to when your mom passed?"
I thought of Aunt Penny. "Nope, My dad died when I was eleven and it was just me and mom."
"Hmm," was all she said and silence fell between us again for about five minutes when she said. "So, do you want to take a quick peek inside before we figure out somewhere to take you? We have a wonderful computer analysist that could probably find a family member for you."
I nodded even though I didn't think I'd stay that long, and got out of the car. I was actually kind of excited. This was why I got my degrees. I had thought about working here, that I could try make a difference in people's lives. I followed JJ up the front steps and inside.
"We have to get you a vistitor's bedge," JJ stated pointing to a security guard.
I nodded again and walked over to him. He handed me a badge the said "Visitor" and waved at JJ. I pinned it to the front of my shirt and then followed her up the stairs. As I was taking it all in, JJ was greeting people as we passed. We finally got to the bullpen area where the BAU agents were set up and she stopped a tall guy and introduced us to each other.
"Hey, Spence. This is Alyson," JJ said.
"Nice to meet you. I'm Spencer Reid."
I smiled and shook his hand. It seemed like my heart was in my throat and I couldn't say anything. I don't know why, but he mesmorized me a bit.
"And this is Derek. Most people call him Morgan though," JJ said smiling at my momentary lost of words.
I got curious. "Why do they call you Morgan?"
The guy named Morgan laughed. "It's my last name. When we're out in the field, it helps to make sure we don't get confused with each other."
"Oh. So wait. Why does JJ call Mr. Reid, Spencer?"
"It's Dr. Reid, and I don't know," Morgan thought outloud. "Probably because he's the youngest of us all. Who knows?"
He shrugged as his phone rang. "Yeah, Baby girl talk to me," he said as he answered.
I couldn't hear what the girl on the other end said but he laughed again and looked sideways at me for a brief second before answering. "Yep, It's JJ's fault. I'll see you in a minute."
He hung up and walked to his desk and sat down.
I wondered who he was talking to about me, but I wasn't done meeting everyone yet.
"Hi, I'm Emily Prentiss. And you are?" said a kindly looking woman.
"Alyson. JJ kinda rescued me a little while ago, before I got the crap beat out of me." I smiled and shook her hand.
"So I've heard," she said smiling back.
I was just thinking I could get used to this when I saw someone I hadn't seen in almost four years.
"Hey, Alyson, this is..." Started JJ.
"Penelope Garcia," I finished for her. "Or in my case known as Aunt Penny."
"So you two know each other?" Morgan asked.
Aunt Penny nodded as tears starting filling her eyes and falling behind her glasses. "She's my niece, but I haven't seen her in four years."
JJ turned toward me. "I thought you told me you didn't have anyone."
What she said made me feel bad. JJ was the first person to be nice to me that didn't expect anything else from me and I had lied to her. The anger I felt toward Aunt Penny overpowered the guilt I felt for lying to JJ and I just stayed quiet. No one said anything and the silence started driving me crazy. I couldn't take much more and finally turned on my heel and walked toward what I thought was the bathroom. I soon found one and went inside. I didn't know exactly what I was thinking, why I didn't just leave. It could've been the fact that I left my bag with everything I owned in JJ's car. Or it could be because the tears falling from my own eyes were temporarily blinding me.
I wasn't in the bathroom long when Aunt Penny came in quietly.
"Aly, I'm sorry," she said looking at her hands.
I snorted. "Sorry? Sorry for what? Abandoning me and Mom shen we needed you the most? About not keeping your promise? About never calling to check-up on me? About..." I stopped. I couldn't finish my sentence because I was crying to hard by now and I couldn't breathe.
I could see the tears coming out and falling into her glasses before she took them off and wiped them on her jacket. I could feel my anger burning me up inside and couldn't restrain myself from throwing a punch at the mirror. The mirror shattered and hit the sink along with the blood now flowing freely from my hand.
"Oh no," Aunt Penny said rushing to get me something to wrap my hand in. I let her get close enough to hand me the paper towels she was holding out and then backed up from her, still waiting for her answer.
Aunt Penny opened her mouth to speak and second guessed herself before she opened it again.
"I'm sorry for everything. I know I shouldn't have just left you or your mom. I did try to write you though. And when I called, your mom told me that you didn't want to talk to me."
I rolled my eyes at her.
"I did, whether you believe me or not. And after I started here, I kept tabs on you regularly. I know you have two , one in Psychology and one in Criminology. And I know your mom died about ten months ago," she continued.
"Really? If you knew, then why didn't you come to the funeral?" I was still mad but my hand was throbbing.
"I didn't think you wanted me there. I didn't know if I was allowed to go."
I started walking out the door as I said, "Well, you were. She was still your sister and I needed you then. I don't need you now though. I'm fine on my own."
I wasn't quite sure where I was heading. I just knew I had to get out of there. I headed to what I thought was the exit and ran smack into Dr. Reid.
"I'm sorry," I said as I looked up at him.
He smiled. "No problem. Are you alright?"
He took my hand that was still bleeding and moved the paper towels to get a better look.
"Yeah, just don't ever try to fight a mirror. They will always win."
"I think you might need to get that checked out."
I nodded as I wrapped my hand back up. "I would but I left my bag in JJ's car."
"Oh, don't worry. I'll call her and have her meet us there and I'll drive you to the hospital," he said smiling at me again.
I followed him in the opposite direction as he called JJ. When we got to the entrance I handed my visitor's badge back to the security guard. JJ met us by her car and tossed the keys to Reid and told him to be careful. He rolled his eyes at her and I laughed. As we left the parking lot, I broke the silence between us.
"Thank-you. You didn't have to take me to the hospital."
"That's quite alright. I don't mind. I didn't really have anything else to do yet, except paperwork. JJ hasn't found us a case."
I nodded as he turned a corner.
"You know, you should give Garcia a chance. Well, I mean your aunt. She's really a good person who cares a lot about her family. She takes care of us all."
I didn't quite know what to say to him so I stayed silent. He continued.
"I know she cares about you. She's actually told me a lot about you and your family."
I couldn't stop myself from asking, "Like what? Like how she left us?" I didn't care what he knew. I was mad.
He was silent for a minute. "No," he finally said. " About you losing your dad when you were eleven and how she came to stay with you and your mom. She also told me how smart you are. Two ? And JJ said she found you in the streets."
I hung my head. I knew he was right but it still didn't give me enough reason to forgive Aunt Penny just yet.
"So why did you decide to be homeless?"
I thought for a moment. "Well, when my mom died, I couldn't handle being surrounded by people who were only nice to me because I didn't have either of my parents. No one expects anything from you out there."
"I guess I can see why it might be appealing to someone who is depressed, but being as smart as you are, you could work any type of job in law enforcement you wanted," he said as he stopped the car.
As we walked into the ER, I considered what he said. As he helped me sign in I told him, "I guess you're right. It's just a lot harder to see things like that with no one in your corner."
He nodded. "I understand that. My dad left me and my mom when I was young and my mom is schizophrenic so I had to take care of her until I found it would be better to get help. She's in a sanitoriuam now."
I didn't know how to respond to that so silence fell between us once more. I was so much into my own thoughts that I didn't hear the doctor call my name.
"Hey, Alyson. Doctor's ready."
I got up and followed Spencer and the doctor to a bed and sat down.
The doctor took my hand and looked at it. "Well, the bleeding's almost stopped. I don't think it's too bad so I'll just have you cleaned up and we'll wrap it up tight. You'll have to change the dressing every morning when you get up and in the evening like after a shower alright?" He motioned for a nurse.
I nodded at him as the nurse brought him gauze, tape and an ACE bandage. I was glad that it didn't need stitches, but it still hurt when he pulled all the little pieces of glass out of my knuckles. The doctor finished wrapping my hand and gave me some extra gauze and tape. He made me promise to take it easy and not to start any more fights with mirrors. I assured him I wouldn't and walked with Spencer back to JJ's car.
"So you alright?" Spencer asked as I put the bandages in my backpack.
"Yeah, I think so. My hand doesn't hurt so bad anymore," I answered.
"That's not what I meant. Are you a little more level-headed? Do you want to go back with me?"
I thought about what he was asking me and decided it was time to face the one thing I was avoiding. I shook my head yes and we went back to Quantico. I got out with my bag, got another visitor's badge, and followed Spencer as he showed me the way to Aunt Penny's office.
"She's in there," he said pointing.
"Thank-you, Spencer. For everything," I told him.
He nodded, put his hand on my shoulder, and walked back to the bullpen. I took a deep breath and opened the door.
"Sorry, Hotch. I'm getting the notes... Oh hi," Aunt Penny said noticing it was me and not her boss.
"Hey," I said stopping because I still wasn't sure what to say.
"How's your hand?" she asked.
"Ok," I said. "It'll heal. Shouldn't have gotten so angry with you before."
"I'm sorry. It's my fault. I should've..."
I put my hands up to stop her. "No, Aunt Penny, let me say something first. It's my fault. All of this is. I actually wanted to go with you when you left. It was just the look Mom had on her face. We had already lost Dad and I didn't think Mom could handle it if I left too. I finally got up the courage to say something and she told me no. We fought and that's when she had her heartattack. I blamed you at first beacuse if you hadn't left and put all those thoughts in my head, we would never had fought. But to be honest, I should've told her from the beginning and I should have actually asked Mom if you had called or written. I never did. So really, all of this is my fault."
All throughout my little speech, she kept shaking her head and tears started to come down her face.
"Do you wanna sit down for a minute? There is something I want to tell you," She finally asked.
I let her take my hand and sat down on the small couch she had in her office.
"I didn't leave because I wanted to. I left because while living with you and your mom, I was trying to earn some extra cash to help with your quickly depleting college fund and got caught trying to hack into certain databases I shouldn't have."
She stopped, looking at the expression on my face. "I thought the insurance Dad got had covered everything."
Aunt Penny shook her head. "It was only supposed to carry you as far as one major, all the way through. Not two."
"So what happened?" I asked looking around. "How did you end up at the FBI?"
"Well, they noticed I had potential. Trust me, the places I was hacking weren't easy. And besides, once I rolled on the guys that hired me, they pardoned me and offered me a job. I think it was to keep me out of trouble." She smiled at me.
"Why did Mom never tell me any of this?" I mused.
"I'm not sure why she didn't tell you the truth, but she told me I wasn't welcome in her home anymore. That I was a bad influence on you. That's probably why she would never let me talk to you. But you shouldn't be mad or angry with you mother. She just wanted to protect you and I still knew everything that happened with you. Up until right after your mom died."
I nodded. "Yeah, I kinda just went off on my own after that. Didn't think I had anywhere to go."
"Well, you do now," She smiled at me again.
I smiled back at the one person I thought I hated most in the world, with as much love as I could. I was finally home.
