The Lightning Thief Parody (AKA The Thunder Stealer)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything, except for the plot twists. That stuff goes to Rickles Riordanny. I meant Troll, I MEAN RICK RIORDAN. Just start reading before I embarrass myself any further...

Chapter One- I Vaporize A Demon-Teacher

Look, I've always wanted to be a half-blood. The rainbows, unicorns, ponies. It's a rush. Nah, just kidding. We're hunted by monsters, have temperamental parents, and there's never any good Wi-Fi during quests. Yup, that's the life. I guess you're pretty confused right now, so I'd better start from the beginning...

My name is Persassy Johnson, but for some wacky reason, people call me Percy Jackson. I'm fine with that, though. I'm 12 years old, and I go to Yancy Academy. Or at least I used to. I can start in any point of my short happy life to prove that I have good luck, but I guess I should start in May when we went to that super-cool field trip to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at ancient Greek and Roman stuff.

Mr. Brunner, our Latin and Math teacher, was leading this trip, so I was expecting an okay trip. Mr. Brunner was this handicapped guy (AN: No offence to handicapped or disabled people.) with long flowing hair and a studded biker jacket, and multiple ear piercings. He was the only teacher who didn't put me to sleep.

I was hoping I wouldn't get into trouble. But boy was I wrong.

So like the bus ride was okay with the nicest and most selfless girl in the school, Nancy Bobofit, talking to us, and with Mr. Brunner talking about some old things in the museum, and stuff. But when lunchtime came, I accidentally dropped my backpack in the water fountain, splashing everyone near me. Ms. Dodds, one of the meanest teachers ever, came up to me and said, "Now Sweetie..." and I knew I'd get a detention... mopping up floors... with a toothbrush... on a Saturday.

"Come with me!" she said with an evil cackle.

I followed her into the museum and we were back to the Greek and Roman section.

"You've been giving us problems, darling. Did you think you would get away with it?"

Did she find the soda I was selling out of my dorm room? That I copied my autobiography poem off the internet?

Then the COOLEST THING EVER happened. She turned into this ugly monster thingamajiggy. Then Mr. Brunner came and gave me a pencil and it turned into a sword! I slashed the sword and she dissolved into glitter! But then, nobody was there. Mr. Brunner was gone.

I found him outside, and so was Grover. Wait... I hadn't introduced Grover yet? Aww come on, he's like my BFFL. He's totally a bad boy, and he's some sort of Australian/ British/ French/ German/ Jamaican/ Indian guy. His accent is awesome, though. Sort of hard to understand... but oh well. You can't have everything.

"Hov eet gosh? How did it go?" he asked. (AN: I'll put the translation next to the words he says in italics)

"It was fine, I guess." I knew I wasn't insane yet, so my best friend doesn't need to think that yet, either.