Hey, people! I'm back and I have some stuff to upload! So, here we go. These are all just some small drabbles I've written in the HP universe (no, none with our beloved characters in them this time), and each one gets a chapter. I AM taking requests, so feel free to send me some headcanons you have, or any ideas you'd like to see. I have a tumblr, (url: profanityproblem) so I'll be posting these there as well. Enjoy!


Elaine looked up from her potions essay when Amelia elbowed her.

"Check it out! Jamie's got a Howler!"

She glanced over to see him holding out the blood red envelope with obvious trepidation. He looked pale, which was an accomplishment, to be sure, what with how dark his skin was. Licking his lips nervously and holding it at arms length, he slipped a finger under the lip of it just as it started to smoke. With a cry of alarm and dismay, he dropped it and it landed on the table in front of him.

Students around him began to scoot away or left the table all-together. Jamie seemed unable to move. Elaine tried in vain to grab the letter before it exploded, but she was an instant too late.

A bright flash of light was accompanied by a boom as the Howler detonated. Jamie sat back with a look of shock and faint distress on his soot-stained face, the front of his robes were covered in ash. The students nearest him hadn't fared much better.

Amelia had dumped her plate of food onto the table so as to use it as a shield. She looked out from behind it warily.

Disembodied giggling echoed around the hall, students from all four tables turning to look at the Ravenclaw table where Jamie sat.

"Is it working?" a voice, louder than those giggling, asked.

"I think so," another replied. "Go ahead."

"OKAY," the first voice boomed. Jamie's dark eyes widened in disbelief. "HI, JAMIE! I JUST THOUGHT THAT I SHOULD LET YOU KNOW THAT I'M HERE WITH THE MATES—" there was loud whooping in the background, what sounded like a bunch of boys. "—AND WE'RE CATCHING UP ON DOCTOR WHO—" Jamie's face went through a myriad of emotions; shock and disbelief, betrayal, anger, and finally settled into seething. "—AND I'VE GOTTA TELL YOU, CAPALDI IS AMAZING, AND DID YOU KNOW IN THE THIRD EPISODE THEY—"

A shout rang out, and heads turned to see a sixth year girl from the Slytherin table jump up, knocking over goblets and platters of food. Face red, she jabbed a finger in Jamie's direction. Elaine thought her name was Cassie, or Carey, or some such.

"ANDREWS, I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU RUIN THIS SEASON FOR ME, I WILL CURSE YOU INTO OBLIVION."

Jamie further paled (which, Elaine decided, was incredibly impressive), and began sputtering and shaking his head frantically, gesturing helplessly.

"—FUNNIEST THING EVER! JUST THOUGHT I'D LET YOU KNOW. HAVE FUN WITH NO WI-FI, JAMES!"

The hall settled into silence. Jamie sat still, and no one dared to breathe.

Suddenly, a third-year near the end of the Ravenclaw table spoke up. "What's wi-fi?"