Author's Note: Just a redonkulous idea that came to me last night while I was actually trying to think up a plot for some Bal/Ashe goodness. Instead, I got this. xD The dialogue isn't supposed to fit. I'm sorry it's so silly, but it demanded to be written. I had half a mind to give Stewie from Family Guy a cameo just so he could yell, "He's wearing a Libra spell!"

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy XII or its respective characters, settings, etc. Unfortunately, I own this idiotic idea and will probably be the victim of much flaming.


"Larsa and the Question"

By Genetix Chiquita

Surreptitiously creeping away from the camp, Larsa Ferrinas Solidor stole cautious looks about him. Nearing the edge of the river and following its winding canal north, the encampment was but a mere spec in the distance when he reached his destination. Before him stood a tall, lean figure, nearly indistinguishable in the dark. Larsa did, however, recognize the familiar sack at its feet, and sighed in relief.

"You got the gil?" the figure asked, voice low and sharp. It was clear he was no stranger to things that went on behind the eyes of the public.

Larsa nodded, glancing around nervously. "You got the stuff?"

"Yeah." They inched yet closer, and Larsa placed a satchel of gil in the figure's outstretched hand. In return, the figure slipped him a large bag that clinked when moved. "So, uh, these people you're with," the figure began, voice inquisitive, "they know anything?"

Larsa was alarmed, and genuflected so. "No, no, they're cool, they're cool. They don't know anything, it's all right."

"Because," the figure went on, "the boss is startin' to think you can't keep a secret, y'know?"

"Dude, no," Larsa assured. "We stop in a town every few days, and they think I stock up there. Trust me, they're fine."

"You sure?" the figure prodded again, glancing over Larsa's shoulder at the camp in the distance. "'Cause you know how the boss hates publicity."

Larsa shook his head, waving his hands. "Dude, dude, no. Trust me on this, they're totally cool, okay? No idea. All right? We cool?"

The figure seemed to think for a moment, before sighing. "Yeah, man, we're cool. See you next week?"

Larsa nodded, and watched the figure slink away into the shadows. Checking once inside the bag, he smiled and closed it again, heaving it over his shoulder and sneaking back to camp.


The next day, as they steadily made their way across the Ozmone Plains, Vaan walked up to Larsa with a curious expression. "Hey, Larsa, could I ask you something?"

Larsa knew Vaan's questions never ended well, but sighed anyway and said, "Of course, Vaan."

Vaan stroked his chin for a moment, seemingly trying to observe Larsa from all angles. The boy was getting a mite uncomfortable when Vaan finally asked, hands on hips, "Where do you get all those hi-potions from?"

Larsa chuckled and said in a voice clearly meant to humor him, "Nowhere, Vaan." He could tell Vaan wasn't satisfied and wanted to ask again, but he supposed the thief had better things to do as he sped up and rejoined the rest of the party. When Vaan was securely out of hearing distance, Larsa's eyes became shifty and he muttered under his breath, "Nowhere at all…"