Disclaimer: This is purely a work of fan fiction. All Yu-Gi-Oh! characters, events, places, and cards are owned by Kazuki Takahashi and/or Konami.
Seto Kaiba vs Bandit Keith
Roland takes his place on a raised podium beside dueling the arena, ready to announce the next match of the New York City 2016 Duel Monsters Tournament.
Roland: Ladies and gentlemen, the next match will now begin! Mr. Seto Kaiba, Bandit Keith, please proceed to the dueling arena right now!
The crowd gathered around the arena enthusiastically cheers as Kaiba makes a grand entrance by coming down in a KaibaCorp helicopter and landing next to the arena. The wind gusts created by the helicopter's blades buffet the audience members, making it hard for them to focus on Kaiba and his little brother Mokuba exiting the chopper and making their way towards the arena.
The president of KaibaCorp smirks as he walks past the cowering audience. His over-the-top entrance had the intended effect: solidifying his status and power. He is the true King of Games, not that runt Yugi Mutou.
Bandit Keith then walks into the arena, clearly embarrassed by the impossible task of following Kaiba's epic entrance, even though he's trying hard not to show it. The crowd doesn't give Keith the response he expected; most of them are still staring at Kaiba. Wearing his trademark sunglasses and American flag bandanna, the bandit takes his place on the dueling platform.
Keith: All the money in the world isn't gonna save you from the ass-whipping you're about to walk into! If you think your fancy theatrics are supposed to intimidate a duelist like me, you've got another thing coming. Now get up here!
If he heard Keith's trash talk, Kaiba gives no indication of it. He doesn't need to. It's clear that Keith has fallen into the trap. His frustration is growing. All the fire needs now is more fuel.
Seto: Hold my briefcase, Mokuba. This shouldn't take long. You can call Mr. Suzuki and tell him that our business meeting will take place earlier than scheduled.
Keith grinds his teeth as he watches Kaiba climb into position on the opposite side of the dueling arena.
Seto: Well well, if it isn't Bandit Keith. Seems like you fell off the face of the earth for a couple of years. You didn't participate in my Battle City or Grand Championship tournaments. In fact, the last time I saw you was at Duelist Kingdom, when you lost to… who was it again?
Behind his sunglasses, Keith's eyes are bulging with rage. His face turns red from embarrassment.
Seto: Oh, that's right. You got beaten by Joey Wheeler of all people. And from what I was told later, you were cheating during that duel. Tell me something Keith… how can you lose to Joey freaking Wheeler even when you're cheating? How is it scientifically possible to achieve such a feat?
Kaiba hysterically laughs, clearly enjoying himself.
Keith: CAN IT! If you don't shut your mouth and duel, I'm gonna shut it for ya!
Seto: Try that and I guarantee that you really will disappear from the face of the earth and never be heard from again.
Mokuba can't help but grin as he watches the two opponent trade words. He's all too familiar with his big brother's mind games. Most of Seto Kaiba's duels are over before they even begin.
Roland: Seto Kaiba! Bandit Keith! It's time to duel!
Turn 1 – Kaiba: 8000, Keith: 8000
The crowd roars in excitement as both players draw five cards from their decks and life point screens light up. Kaiba methodically examines his opening hand while behind his sunglasses, Bandit Keith's eyes dart back-and-forth from card to card.
Roland tosses a coin – it lands on heads, meaning that Keith will go first per a predetermined decision. The American draws a sixth card from his deck and then moves.
Keith: First, I activate Pot of Greed, which lets me d-
Seto: Everybody knows what Pot of Greed does, you moron. Just hurry up!
The crowd laughs and Keith clenches his large fist, falling victim to Kaiba's mind games once again. He takes a deep breath and then continues.
Keith: Then I'll set one monster in defense mode and play two cards face-down. Let's see what you got.
Turn 2 – Kaiba: 8000, Keith: 8000
Seto: That's it? Pathetic. Allow me to demonstrate what a real first turn looks like. I summon… Vorse Raider!
Kaiba plays one of his famous cards in the monster zone, as the holographic technology he developed makes a realistic 3D projection of Vorse Raider (ATK: 1900/DEF: 1200) onto the field. It snarls as it grips its large axe, ready to make mincemeat out of whatever monster Keith set in his first turn.
Seto: And that's not all. I'll equip him with the spell card Axe of Despair, which boosts his power by 1000 points – all the way to 2900! Now Vorse Raider, attack his face-down monster!
Keith: You always open with Vorse Raider. I expected that. But did you expect THIS?
Vorse Raider slashes the set monster, revealing it to be Cyber Jar.
Seto: Oh no!
Keith: OH HELL YES. It may not technically be a machine, but Cyber Jar functions just like one. When flipped up, it automatically becomes a bomb with enough explosive power to wipe out every monster on the field, including the Vorse Raider you recklessly attacked with. Then, as a bonus effect we each draw five cards and special summon any monsters with four stars or less. So... what were you saying about my first turn?
Kaiba has no choice but to grit his teeth as Vorse Raider and his Axe of Despair are destroyed. Now both duelists draw. Kaiba's five cards are: Lord of Dragons, Battle Ox, White Dragon Ritual, and two Blue-Eyes White Dragons. Bandit Keith's five cards are: Barrel Dragon, Slot Machine, Pendulum Machine, Blowback Dragon, and Polymerization.
Kaiba special summons Lord of Dragons (1200/1100) and Battle Ox (1700/1000) to his side of the field in attack position, while Keith has nothing that he can summon to defend himself with. Kaiba examines the number of monsters on both sides of the field and laughs.
Seto: It seems that your little Cyber Jar party trick ended up helping me a lot more than it helped you. So much for that. And since my battle phase hasn't ended yet, I can attack you with both of the monsters I just summoned!
Keith braces himself for an all-out assault, and Kaiba doesn't hesitate to give him one. First to attack is Lord of Dragons, quickly followed by Battle Ox. Keith grunts from the impact of the hits. He watches his life points decrease by 2900.
Seto: Oh, and by the way… my turn isn't even close to being done yet.
Keith looks up in surprise. He was hoping the pain was over.
Seto: Lord of Dragons is very grateful that you helped summon him. In fact, he's so grateful that he wants to play a song for you on his special flute.
Keith freezes. He knows exactly where this is going.
Seto: I activate my spell card: The Flute of Summoning Dragon! Say hello to two of my BLUE-EYES WHITE DRAGONS!
Two of Kaiba's most famous creatures fly into the battlefield in a glimmer of beautiful white light. The crowd cheers loudly - many people in attending came from far away just to see the legendary beasts (3000/2500) in person.
Seto: Now I'll activate another card I drew with the effect of Cyber Jar, White Dragon Ritual. I offer my Battle Ox as tribute to complete the ritual, allowing me to summon... the Paladin of White Dragon!
The Paladin also flies into the field to join Kaiba's growing army of monsters, but as soon as he appears he is sacrificed.
Seto: To complete the trifecta, I use my Paladin of White Dragon's special ability. He goes to the graveyard and a third Blue-Eyes White Dragon from my deck takes his place!
Everyone is cheering at the top of their lungs at the sight of Kaiba bringing out all three Blue-Eyes in one turn. Everyone but Bandit Keith, that is. The American is left staring wide-eyed at the three monsters that have won Kaiba countless duels over the years.
Seto: Like I said before, Mokuba. This shouldn't take long.
Mokuba, like everyone else, is staring at the three Blue-Eyes White Dragons and the Lord of Dragons standing below them. Even though he's seen them many times, Mokuba still feels a sense of awe when looking at these creatures. Beautiful but deadly.
Seto: Finally, I'll place one card face-down and end my turn. Get the chopper ready. I have a meeting to get to.
Turn 3 – Kaiba: 8000, Keith: 5100
Kaiba arrogantly looks at his opponent, positive that this will be his last turn. But to everyone's surprise, Keith begins chuckling.
Keith: Heh heh heh…
Seto: I'm glad you found a way to cope with your imminent annihilation. Next turn, all three of my Blue-Eyes White Dragons will attack and the only thing left of you will be those cheap sunglasses. You're a joke, Keith. You played one decent card and the only thing it did was ensure my victory.
Keith keeps chuckling. As his turn begins and he draws a card, the sun reflects off his sunglasses and also reveals the sly grin that is now on his face.
Keith: The joke's on you, Richie Rich. Cause I've drawn all the cards I need to win this duel.
Kaiba stares at Keith in disbelief, not sure he heard his opponent correctly.
Keith: I activate Polymerization to fuse the Barrel Dragon and Blowback Dragon in my hand, in order to fusion summon one of the most destructive machines in all of duel monsters. GATLING DRAGON!
A whirlwind forms on Keith's side of the field, and from it slowly emerges a gigantic mechanical monstrosity armed with three massive gatling guns. Keith grins with pride as he observes the great machine that now stands in front of him. Gatling Dragon (2600/1200) roars into life, steam hissing from several vents in its metal body.
Keith: My Gatling Dragon may have 400 less attack points than your Blue-Eyes White Dragons, but he more than makes up for that with his special ability. See those three huge guns on his back? They pack enough firepower to blow ANY monster they hit to kingdom come, regardless of attack or defense. And I bet you can figure out which three monsters I plan on barbecuing.
Kaiba is visibly impressed by Keith's machine, but he doesn't look concerned at all.
Seto: You Americans and your obsession with guns. This is probably news to you, but bigger isn't always better. Those gatling guns may be powerful, but they are also inaccurate. They don't always hit their target. More importantly though, thanks to my Lord of Dragon's special ability, you can't target my Blue-Eyes White Dragons with Gatling Dragon's effect anyway!
Keith: Well, it just so happens that I have solutions to both of those problems. First, I reveal one of the trap cards I set during my last turn: DNA Surgery! It allows me to change the type of all monsters on the field to whatever I choose. And I pick "machine". Since your Lord of Dragon's effect only applies to dragon-type monsters, he can no longer protect your precious Blue-Eyes from my Gatling Dragon's wrath.
Keith chuckles as his strategy unfolds and Kaiba's control of the duel weakens.
Keith: Then I play the continuous spell card Second Coin Toss! If I happen to get unlucky and my dragon's cannons don't hit all their targets, this handy card gives me a second chance by letting me redo the effect all over again. So now the stage is set for my dragon to put on one hell of a fireworks show. Gatling Dragon… AIM!
All three massive gatling guns lock on their targets. Each one is pointed at a Blue-Eyes White Dragon.
Keith: FIRE!
The sound of the guns going off is almost deafening. One of the shots zooms past a Blue-Eyes, while the other two head straight for their intended targets.
Keith: No, that's not good enough. I want all three. Activate Second Coin Toss!
Keith's spell card glows with a green aura as its effect is invoked. The fireballs suddenly disappear and Gatling Dragon reloads for a second barrage. It fires once again, and this time all three shots hit their targets. Kaiba's three Blue-Eyes White Dragons are simultaneously obliterated. The force of the explosions is nearly felt by Kaiba as well, almost knocking him off the dueling platform.
Mokuba: Seto!
Kaiba pulls himself together, not wanting to worry his little brother. He winces as he sees the smoldering piles of ash where his dragons were standing a moment ago. Bandit Keith laughs.
Keith: You should see the look on your face, Kaiba. It's priceless. That's what you get for insulting guns…
Keith dramatically takes off his sunglasses.
Keith: …IN AMERICA.
Kaiba face is darkened with a scowl. He silently swears to make Keith pay for destroying his three Blue-Eyes. Pay dearly.
Keith: Just like that, my Gatling Dragon took out your three best monsters in one turn. And now it's gonna take a chunk out of your life points too. Gatling Dragon, attack his Lord of Dragons!
Seto: Not so fast! I activate my face-down trap: Negate Attack!
Keith: Guess that makes two of us, because I'll counter your counter with a counter of my own. Reveal face-down card: Seven Tools of the Bandit!
Bandit Keith's trap is flipped up and seven different knives fly out of it, piercing Negate Attack and then shattering it.
Keith: A card so good they named it after me. At the cost of 1000 of my life points, Seven Tools of the Bandit negates the effect of the trap you just played. And you know what that means. There's nothing to stop my Gatling Dragon's attack!
Gatling Dragon rolls over Lord of Dragons, squashing it with ease and decreasing Kaiba's life points by 1400.
Keith: I'll set one card in my spell and trap card zone, then end my turn. Line up every single monster left in your entire deck; my Gatling Dragon's ready to blow them all to smithereens. This duel is OVER!
Seto: If I had a nickel for every time someone said that to me… actually, I think that's how I made most of my fortune.
Turn 4 – Kaiba: 6600, Keith: 4100
The KaibaCorp president draws and examines the two cards remaining in his hand. Neither of them are powerful enough to destroy Keith's machine, but they ARE capable of turning the duel around. However, such a maneuver will take a lot of luck to pull off. Luck… something Seto Kaiba hates to rely on.
His Gatling Dragon has an exploitable weakness, Kaiba thinks to himself. Once its effect is activated, it must destroy a number of monsters on the field equal to the number of accurate shots it fires. Last turn, Keith could target my three Blue-Eyes White Dragons. But if there's three or less monsters on the field in total, Gatling Dragon could destroy himself with his own effect.
Kaiba's gaze then turns to Keith's spell card that is still active the field, Second Coin Toss. That spell will make it twice as hard for my plan to succeed. But I have no choice. I must force Keith to use Gatling Dragon's special ability.
Seto: This duel isn't over until I deck out or you're at my feet begging for mercy! I play one card face-down and summon Spear Dragon in attack mode. That's all for now.
The pterodactyl-like dragon (1900/0) appears on Kaiba's side of the field, acting as the only line of defense between Gatling Dragon and Kaiba's life points.
Turn 5 – Kaiba: 6600, Keith: 4100
Keith chuckles as he draws a card from his deck and adds it to his hand.
Keith: 'Course it is. There ain't much you can do since you threw everything you had at me during the turn you summoned your three Blue-Eyes. All I gotta do is sit back and put you out of your misery. To start, I'll add another machine to my arsenal: Mechanicalchaser in attack mode!
The winged metal ball equipped with knives and spears known as Mechanicalchaser (1850/800) is summoned on Keith's field. Kaiba grits his teeth. No! Another target for Gatling Dragon. I was hoping he wouldn't summon another monster this soon, thinks the CEO. Regardless… I must act now.
Seto: Hold on Keith! I activate my trap card: Shadow Spell! And I choose to inflict its dark magic upon your Gatling Dragon!
Dozens of chains erupt from the ground and wrap themselves around Gatling Dragon, preventing it from attacking or changing its battle position, as well as lowering its attack points from 2600 to 1900.
Keith: Nice move, but it's not gonna save ya. I can still use his special ability. Gatling Dragon, turn Kaiba's Spear Dragon to dust with your gatling guns!
Kaiba intently watches Keith take the bait, knowing that with Mechanicalchaser on the field, all three of Gatling Dragon's shots now need to be successful in order for it to be destroyed.
One of the dragon's fireballs misses, while the other two head for Spear Dragon and Keith's own Mechanicalchaser.
Keith: I ain't sacrificing my monster. Activate Second Coin Toss!
Second Coin Toss glows green as its effect is invoked, giving Gatling Dragon a second chance. It reloads and the gatling guns go off once again. Kaiba holds his breath, knowing that this may be his final chance to turn the game back in his favor.
Miraculously, all three fireballs are 100% accurate, heading straight for the only three monsters on the field: Spear Dragon, Mechanicalchaser, and Gatling Dragon. Three explosions rock the dueling arena to its very foundations. Mokuba cheers along with the rest of the crowd. Kaiba lets out a sigh of relief.
Mokuba: All right Seto! Against all odds, you did it!
Now that the danger is over, Kaiba returns to his old ways.
Seto: Americans just HAVE to blow everything up, don't they. Want my advice? Don't play with weapons you can't control.
Bandit Keith doesn't seem fazed.
Keith: Before you start wisecracking, I suggest you take a closer look at the field…
When the smoke clears, Gatling Dragon is still standing, completely unscathed. Spear Dragon and Mechanicalchaser are gone.
Kaiba stiffens.
Seto: What's going on!? He should have been destroyed!
Keith: And he would've been, if I hadn't predicted your desperate strategy and prepared a backup plan in case things went south. That backup plan was a nifty trap called Compulsory Evacuation Device. It returned Gatling Dragon to my extra deck a split second before he was blown up.
Keith grins, pleased that his plan was superior to Seto Kaiba's.
Keith: Then I played a rare and powerful spell card known as Overload Fusion. It banished Barrel Dragon and Blowback Dragon in my graveyard in order to fusion summon… well, I'm sure you can figure out the rest…
Much to Kaiba's dismay, Gatling Dragon's departure and return to the field have freed it from the chains of Shadow Spell, meaning that it is now able to attack with its full offensive power.
Keith: You keep underestimating me, Kaiba… and it'll cost ya. I wasn't just gonna throw out a machine the caliber of Gatling Dragon without giving it the proper support. And now my dragon, pulverize his life points with a direct attack!
The colossal machine rolls forward at full speed, slamming itself into the virtual barrier at the end of Kaiba's field and bringing the KaibaCorp CEO's score close to that of his opponent.
Keith: Tell ya what. Write me a check for 50 grand, and I might go easy on ya. I'll let you mull that over, cause I set a card and then end my turn.
The arrogant American's antics are winning over some members of the crowd who now begin to cheer for him. This bothers Kaiba. He can't allow anyone to compromise his status. Especially someone who lost to Joey Wheeler.
Turn 6 – Kaiba: 4000, Keith: 4100
Seto: If you think it's going to be that easy to take me down, you must have that bandanna wrapped too tight around your head.
Keith: Keep yapping, tough guy. From where I'm standing, it looks to me like you got no cards left.
Kaiba picks up the top card of his deck as he begins his turn.
Seto: Not exactly. I've got one card.
He smirks as he sees the card he drew.
Seto: Actually... make that two. I activate Card of Sanctity, which lets me draw until I have two cards in my hand. Actually, make that three, because next I'll activate Pot of Greed! Do you know what it does?
Keith clenches his fist, fantasizing about the chance to introduce it to Kaiba's teeth. But for now, the duel continues. Kaiba looks at the cards he has acquired thanks to the two convenient spell cards he just activated. He seems to be very satisfied with his hand.
Kaiba smiles. A shiver runs up Keith's spine.
Seto: No monster destroys a Blue-Eyes White Dragon and lives to tell the tale. Time to pay for your sins, Keith. For I activate a spell card that will act as the instrument of your demise: MONSTER REBORN!
Keith does a double take, incredulous that Kaiba managed to draw Monster Reborn of all things.
Seto: With it, I resurrect my Blue-Eyes White Dragon!
A portal to the graveyard is opened up on Kaiba's side of the field. Blue-Eyes White Dragon crawls out of it and then takes flight, ready to answer his master's call once more.
Seto: Blue-Eyes, send his tin can back to the junkyard! Attack Gatling Dragon with your white lightning!
Blue-Eyes opens its giant maw and launches a concentrated beam of white lightning at Gatling Dragon. Keith's juggernaut tries its best to withstand the blast, but its power simply isn't high enough. The machine's steel frame breaks down, and the gatling guns are obliterate along with the rest of the monster. Bandit Keith's weapon of mass destruction collapses in a giant heap of metal, causing a mini earthquake on the field.
Keith: Damn it! My Gatling Dragon!
Seto: Before I end my turn, I'll place a card face-down. Well Keith, it seems that we're right back where we started – with my Blue-Eyes about to end this duel. The difference being that this time around, your little BB gun won't be around to bail you out of trouble.
Keith appears to be quite shaken as he stares into the blue eyes of Kaiba's white dragon. It is clear that the elimination of Gatling Dragon took a huge toll on the American's confidence.
Turn 7 – Kaiba: 4000, Keith: 3700
As his turn begins, Bandit Keith stares lifelessly at his deck.
Seto: What's the matter? Embarrassment setting in? You must be used to it by now. I mean, let's look at your track record. You were beaten by a little kid, then you were beaten by Joey Wheeler. You were literally kicked out of Duelist Kingdom, only to be recruited by that loser Marik and his band of buffoons. After that, you started claiming that your mind was, and I must quote this, "possessed by an evil spirit". Is losing this duel really going to make your credibility any lower than it already is?
Keith continues staring at his deck with an empty look in his eyes. I'm tired of being made a fool of over and over again, thinks Keith. I'm Bandit Keith for god's sake. Back in the day, there wasn't one duelist who didn't know my name. I was the hottest thing on the scene.
Keith's fist clenches with rage as his determination to avenge his previous defeats starts burning again. Pegasus. Joey. Marik. Hell, even that little kid. They're all gonna get what's coming to 'em - a dose of good old fashioned American justice. And it all starts right now.
Keith draws a card from his deck. There is a glint in his eye. Perfect.
Keith: Know why they call me Bandit Keith? Cause I always steal the show. Speaking of stealing… I activate the spell card Autonomous Action Unit. Here's how it works: I pay 1500 life points, I special summon a monster from YOUR graveyard. Let's see… can I have that monster right there?
Keith points at the Blue-Eyes White Dragon standing across from him. At that moment, Autonomous Action Unit activates. A lightning bolt strikes a spot on Keith's side of the field, opening up a portal to the netherworld. The second of Kaiba's three Blue-Eyes emerges from it, now controlled by a different master.
Seto: Normally I'd be irritated by someone stealing one of my Blue-Eyes, but let's do the math here. Our two dragons have the same number of points, so if you were to attack they would both be destroyed. Did you wrap that bandanna even tighter around your head?
Keith: They may be evenly matched for now. But if I were to upgrade mine…
Keith presses a button on his duel screen, flipping up his face-down trap card: Metalmorph.
Keith's Blue-Eyes White Dragon begins transforming from the magic of Metalmorph. What was white is now grey, what was skin is now metal. Spikes protrude from various places in the dragon's new shell, and what was already an extremely intimating monster now looks even more terrifying.
Seto: What have you done to my Blue-Eyes!?
Keith: I gave it a paint job and a power boost. Meet… the Blue-Eyes White Metal Dragon!
Bandit Keith's Blue-Eyes White Metal Dragon stares across the field at Kaiba's Blue-Eyes White Dragon. The two great creatures prepare to engage in battle. And when it is over, only one of them will be left standing.
To be continued…
