Disclaimer: The characters in this work of fiction belong to Janet Evanovich. I do not own them.

Thankyou for reading

I'm from Australia, so if there's an s instead of a z or an ou instead of an o. I apologize. Oh look, I did it right.


" Just start at the beginning."

From what beginning? From the beginning where I changed my whole life and finally went from bored, uninspired 'Burg ex-wife to Bounty Hunter? From that beginning? That beginning was easy, easy to describe now. I lost my job and I blackmailed my cousin Vinnie into getting me into the bounty hunting industry. Vinnie woefully underprepared for that role. Connie however his office manager set me up with an extraordinary man of extraordinary talents, Carlos Manoso a.k.a Ranger then Badass Bounty hunter, now co- owner of Rangeman security inc.

Ranger and I, whoa, oh, how to explain in a statement Ranger and I? How to adequately state six years of want. Of mostly unacted upon want? Of stolen moments and nights of unrequited love or something. Stupidity. There you go. That's what I would like to say when they ask. I won't be brave enough but. Yeah. Stupidity

Why stupidity because I'm an idiot, because while I lusted after a human carved from mocha latte colored clay, I was in a relationship with a different my stupidity. Joseph Morelli has been orbiting my sun like a moon since I was a child, for him not to be in my sky would be like an extinction event. That's the fairytale storyline that's been stuffed so far down my throat since I was a kid, that we knocked into each other and held on just because other people were screaming for the happy ending. Problem being we love each other but are not in love with each other and it makes us fight and fuck like a Telenovela. We have an open arrangement that would probably knock his Grandmother into an early grave should she find out, her witch mouth cursing me with Vordo for being a slut as she died.

I look at the sky sometimes and I tell the entity behind the clouds that I am not a slut. I have been given free reign yet I fall occasionally into the bed, wall, car of one man and only when I truly run out of will power. I dare not think of the notches on my Boyfriend's bed post and choose only to make him always wear a condom and never give him a Blowjob.

Worse still is the somewhat friendly relationship the two men are developing between each other. Their arrangements like I'm a child in a shared custody agreement.

My car goes boom or someone hands me a head in a box and those two are grim and looking between each other like, hmmm who gets her and who gets to be the grown up that goes to work?

That needs further explanation right? Like why someone would give me a body part? Because I'm a magnet for sociopaths who don't want to return to prison but who enjoy butchery.

Because cars just...explode when the title gets put under my name. It's not even a surprise now when the blast wave catches me and tosses me into the air, I think I have post concussion syndrome or most definitely some obscure form of post traumatic stress disorder where explosions just don't occur. Like the first flash and my brain is like, no thankyou! Then it resumes normal function when it hears the word Cupcake or Babe. God help me the day I get tossed onto pavement on a day when Joe and Ranger are both out of town.

" Miss Plum? Are you ok?" A cup of deplorable coffee is nudged towards me and I extend a shaking hand to pick it up.

Am I ok?

No.

I just had a 25 car consecutive explosion flashback.

" Can you tell us what happened?" The second voice prompts.

I stare at the man asking the question

" What happened at Rangeman today?"

Today? How about the last three years.

I love him. Ranger, I've loved him for two years and five months. It started when he got shot, it got worse when we tried to capture the Rug. Ranger and I have never had that much time together before, I didn't know that we could co-exist so ...peacefully. Our rhythms match. We meld, jibe, we are the ying to each others yang. I'll stop.

Ranger gets up at four am, four in the morning. It's still dark, it's what I would refer to as the middle of the night but Ranger rises from bed, or in bed. Wink. Which I accomodate and then I would resume sleeping and Ranger would exercise, go for a run on the beach or go to the gym or conquer everest. Whatever he was achieving by the time I woke up he was dressed, relaxed, and there was breakfast, coffee, conversation, jokes, playing around, swimming. We were there eight days and there was maybe sixty minutes of where I felt awkwardness and that was on the first day in the sixty minutes it took for Ranger to get from the airport to the resort to the cabin and me out of my dress and into my bikini bottoms.

I wanted more of that, I craved it. Ranger knew it and pulled back. Pulled? The bastard ran back. A few crappy comments about no chance of a relationship because of his lifestyle. A mission followed by a tour of every Rangeman other than Trenton and I floated back to Joe because I hadn't seen Ranger alone in more than six months.

I should have waited.

I should have shown Ranger I was serious.

I shouldn't have picked Joe.

Joe who gets up at five. Eats breakfast standing up in the kitchen, coffee machine on long enough so he can have a coffee in the house and one to go with him in his Jeep, then he turns the pot off and rinses it out.

Why does he turn the coffee machine off if I'm still sleeping upstairs?

I always wondered that but I never asked. Little questions like that in our relationship quickly evolved to, get out I never want to see you again! Then a month later you'd describe the breakup to a skip or beautician, someone who doesn't have to be on your side and they'd give you one of those sideways eyebrow raises that let you know you'd broken up with your boyfriend because you were a completely unreasonable bitch. Not because there were olives stuck in peanut butter or no bread but because you just needed an excuse to get away from him so the next time you climbed Ranger like a tree you weren't technically having sex with two men at the same time. Maybe that made me a bad person.

" Just say the biggest thing first." The guy with the beard interrupted with this clever suggestion.

I nodded rubbing my head, I could do that. The biggest thing first.

I wasn't in love with Joe but I was too afraid to be alone. Single life was lonely. Maybe people forget that, or didn't know that. There's a horrible echoing silence that comes from an apartment when you're the only person in it and you're not speaking. Like it's so quiet you want the walls to talk. I sit at my dining table overlooking the parking lot, the windows open even in the winter so there's noise, the TV on always so there's some noise. I go to dinner at my Parent's even though I know every night I will be the focus of the same questions, the same accusations where is Joe? Where are your children? Where is your real job? Where is your real life? I sit through the emotional torture just to hear the sound of other humans speaking.

I am lonely and Joe fills the void.

I don't think that's the big reveal these two mean, not sure it's what they are looking for though. I doubt they are sitting here plying me with coffee just so they can watch my introspective.

They've come for more. Should I give it to them?

I didn't mean to do anything wrong. I say that a lot and I can't help but worry that now I will be like the girl that cried wolf but instead of wolf it'll be the words 'it's not my fault'. I should have learnt the laws instead of breaking them and just bellowing my catch phrase at an angry Joe as I made him break his oath to protect and serve.

I won't use those words now then, I won't. They're empty anyway, so much has been lost and so many people are angry at me, at this point I have to accept the responsibility of my actions.

I stilled.

I readied.

Oh god this was so hard. Why can't they just give the words to me and I can agree to them.

I couldn't fall apart because there was so much behind the dam threatning to break through I had to hold it together. If one tear fell, It would be hours before they stopped.

" I killed him." I said and hiccupped a sob but choked it down.

Done

That wasn't so hard.

Maybe it's good that I didn't say all this shit out loud, it kind of makes me look a bit guilty right? Like I was a despicable, desperate woman? Like I killed one to make way for the other?

It's really not the case but I guess it's a bit late now.

" I killed Joseph Morelli. " I clarified.

I closed my eyes.

" Maybe I should start from the beginning?"