Disclaimer: I do not own HP.
The only sounds heard were the creaking of old floor boards and the steady dripping of water. Nighttime had long since come and Severus was alone in his study, a single candle light to cast an eerie glow on his surroundings as he sat in behind his desk, his head resting in his hands.
In front of him laid an open journal with yellowed pages. The journal had belonged to the one woman he had loved before she had died nearly sixteen years before and had been left in his possession a mere week before she had been killed. She had told him that the decision about what do with it was up to him.
Without reading it, he had put it away, not wondering about what it contained. Soon, he had forgotten about it…until he had found it a few hours before while he was packing his bags to go to Grimmauld Place the next day.
After telling Draco, who had been staying with him since the murder of Dumbledore, not to disturb him, he had locked himself into the study to finally read it. Now he knew why she had given him the choice of what to do with it. Inside was a secret that would change his life drastically if he chose to accept it, or ignore it.
He read the last entry again, hoping that, somehow, the words would change.
To my Sev,
I'm afraid I haven't been entirely truthful to you over the last two years. I've kept a secret from you that I should have told you right away. With the way things have been going these past few weeks, it has become increasingly clear that I might not live for much longer. Don't scowl, you know it's true. Voldemort has decided to kill my family and nothing will stop him. My only hope is that Harry survives.
Which comes to my secret. I lied when I told you that Harry was James' son. You weren't ready to have a family and I knew that if you had learned that you had gotten me pregnant, you would've felt like it was your duty to marry me. I'm sorry I lied to you, but I don't regret it.
I used a potion when I was pregnant to ensure that Harry will look like James. The potion, however, will war off at midnight on his seventeenth birthday, unless he takes the 'Vinisha Toralla' potion before then.
Whatever you choose to do, know that I'll support you decision, even if death.
I hope you forgive me and know that I love you.
Yours forever and always,
Lily
Harry was his son. All these years and he had never known because he had been so angry at Lily when she had cheated on him with James and then married him, he hadn't wanted anything to do with her. Because of his pride, he had blamed James and Harry for something that was his fault. He should've made sure that Harry wasn't his son.
Now he had to make a choice that he could've made years ago. He had to decide what to do about Harry.
Before he could, though, a knock sounded on the door and his hand grabbed his wand, which rested on his desk next to the journal.
"Sev?" Draco's voice came to him through the door. "Can I come in?"
Sighing, he waved his wand and the door opened, revealing a disheveled, messy-haired Draco wearing only black pajama pants.
"What is it, Draco?"
"I woke up to get a drink and saw that the light was still on in here. Why are you still up? It's three in the morning."
"I found something earlier and have been looking over it."
"Need any help?"
Severus shook his head. "I need to work it out on my own."
"Sounds important. Maybe you should sleep on it and start back in the morning. It might be easier then."
"I doubt I could sleep. Go on back to bed. We're going to Grimmauld Place first thing tomorrow."
"So Dumbledore had been able to tell McGonagall what was going to happen?"
Nodding, Severus said, "Yes, luckily. The only thing we have to worry about is when Potter shows up and takes his place as head of the Order. Minerva will have to speak to him before he learns that we're there."
"When will he get there?"
"Tomorrow night." A far away look came to his eyes and he stared at the wall just over Draco's shoulder.
"Sev?"
"Hmm?"
"Are you sure you don't want to tell me what's going on?"
Severus looked at him and smirked slightly. "Worried about me, Draco? Don't be. Save it for yourself. Har…Potter isn't going to be happy when he sees us."
Draco immedia6tly took note on how Severus almost said Harry, but didn't mention it. "I'll be okay. I have had to deal with Golden Boy since first year. It won't be anything new."
"That's good, since you'll be sharing a room with both him and Weasley."
"Hell no! I said I could deal with Potter, and only when he's around fore a few minutes at a time, but Weasel?! I may be nice, but I'm not a saint! Who else will be there?"
"Every Weasley, besides Percy Weasley, and Granger."
"Of course," Draco all but snarled. "He has to have his fan club everywhere he goes."
Severus held back a scowl. "go on back to bed, Draco. You'll need the rest. Potter might not be there until late tomorrow, but the Weasley's and Granger arrived a week ago. You don't want to look like a raccoon with those dark circles under your eyes when they see you, do you?"
Draco's blue-gray eyes widened slightly. "Do I really look like a raccoon, Sev? I can't have that! Goodnight!"
Before Severus could say it back, Draco was gone, leaving only the sound of his hurried footsteps as he rushed upstairs to the guest room.
A small smile came to is face, one that only showed itself when he thought about Draco. Though he wouldn't admit it, Draco was like a son to him since the day that he had been born. And, no matter that Harry was his true son, Draco would always hold a place in his heart that no one believed was there.
In many ways, the blonde was like Lucius and Narcissa. He was an arrogant self-centered boy who thought he was better than everyone else. He spent nearly all his time focusing on his looks and trying to make everyone envy him. Unlike his parents, though, there were times when he could be sweet. Unfortunately, he kept that side of him hidden from anyone who wasn't Severus.
Shaking his head, he closed the journal and leaned back in the chair. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore. All these years, though not happy with them, he was content. How was he supposed to decide what to do?
He knew what he wanted to do; but he also knew that after all he had said and done, Harry hated him. Harry wouldn't even believe him unless…
He decided. He would give Harry the decision. He would show him the journal and accept whatever decision Harry made. And if Harry decided to stay a Potter, he would even make the potion for him.
At the moment, nothing was more important than what Harry wanted. He was probably happy with the way things are. Even if the Dursley's weren't the ideal family, the next summer he would only have to spend a few days there, and the Weasley's would more than make up for the love and caring that his aunt and uncle refused to give him. Something that he believed his was incapable of.
He could easily buy Harry anything he wanted, show him how to protect himself in the final battle, and always be there for him when he needed it, but it was too long since he ever showed compassion to anyone. Not since Lily had told him that the baby she carried was James'. In that area, he would be as bad as, if not worse than, the Dursley's.
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I hope you liked it. I've already have the next chapter written, but I won't be able to update until next weekend, if then. Review!
