Disclaimer: We don't own anything but the characters we made up.

What Is This Feeling?

By- Lest The Stars Diminish and Xela Lupe

Chapter One

~~~

MARK:

How do you documentary a life

When real life's getting more like fiction each day?

Headlines, breadlines blow my mind

And now this deadline:

"Eviction or pay!"

RENT!

~~~

            Alastriana Niamh Dubhcana hummed as she sewed. For once, nothing was wrong with her life. Sure, the tiny house she shared with her huge family had no electricity, the plumbing was primitive, and they had to make their own clothes- but that was the only life she'd ever known. She'd had bigger worries earlier in her life. At fifteen years old, she had ten siblings. She was the second-eldest, and the oldest girl. She had been invited to go to a boarding school a few years before, she knew that much, but her mother had thrown the letter out and wrote a curt letter that stated that Alastriana would be unable to attend because of duties she had at home. Apparently, that was sufficient, five years later she was pretty much the sole parent of eight children. Her mother was usually too stoned or drunk to do much of anything- definitely too out of it to responsibly look after children, the youngest of whom was completely deaf.

            The children had never had a father. Her mother had a continuous string of men coming into the house, making a beeline for the bedroom, completely ignoring the children who had to sleep on hard wooden floors, and left money on their mother's nightstand. Alastriana would steal what she could to buy what she needed. When her mother caught her… she didn't like to think about what happened… so she didn't often let herself get caught.

~~~

ROGER:

How do you write a song

When the chords sound wrong

Though they once sounded right and rare

But the notes are sour

Where is the power

You once had to ignite the air

And we're hungry and frozen

Some life that we've chosen

How we gonna pay

How we gonna pay

How we gonna pay

Last years rent

We light candles

~~~

            Every so often her mother would get pregnant and nine months later there'd be another mouth to feed. The children raised each other. In fact, Alastriana herself had been named by her older brother, Alastor. Alastor was about seven when she was born, and a notoriously poor speller. Her birth certificate read "Alastrina". She couldn't talk; however, her younger brother (aged twelve) was called Crouton. She'd named him. They'd gotten slightly more creative with names as they got older. The remaining six siblings were Gavroche, Katy-Rose, Hiaarani, Melantha, Pol, Bethag, and Muadhnait.

            Gavroche was eight years old, and a very precocious child. Alastor, Alastriana, and Crouton been quite alarmed when Gavroche had started speaking in complete and complex sentences before he was a year old. They were floored when they found out that his IQ was in excess of 160. It was a terribly shame, the other residents of the small town that the Dubhcanas lived in, that Gavroche was born a Dubhcana. He might have been able to make something of himself had it not been for the fact that they were dirt poor, the scum of the earth, the children of a whore, all of them with different fathers.

~~~

ROGER:

How do you start a fire

When there's nothing to burn

And you feel like something stuck in your flue

How can you generate heat

When you can't feel your feet

And they're turning blue

You light up a mean blaze

With posters and screenplays

How we gonna pay

How we gonna pat

How we gonna pay

Last year's rent?

~~~

            Alastriana sighed, though not loud enough to wake the sleeping children. Alastor had left home four years ago to seek his fortune. She hadn't heard from him since. He'd said he'd come back. He'd lied, apparently. Not a night went by that she didn't think of him.

            He'd left her all alone at the ripe old age of twelve- she'd done pretty well for herself since then. However, when Alastor left, all the chances she'd had to improve herself had gone with him.

~~~

COLLINS:

How do you stay on your feet

When on every street

It's "trick-or-treat"

And tonight it's "trick"!

~~~

            She heard someone tapping at the window. She looked up to see an… owl? It seemed to want to come in- Alastriana couldn't see why. It was a cold night, indeed- but her family didn't have heating so it wasn't much warmer indoors. Sighing as she stepped over the bodies of several sleeping children, she opened the window and the bird immediately flew in, perching on the back of the chair she'd been sitting on while making a new jacket for Bethag. She noticed for the first time that it had a letter bound to its leg. "Let me get that off of you…" she whispered, hoping the bird wouldn't get frightened and fly away. To her surprise, the bird held out its leg and waited while she untied the scroll of paper. It was heavy parchment, which was unusual in itself, but the mere fact that it was addressed to her made her wonder who outside the town knew that she was alive.

Lass, (it began)

            I'm sorry it's been such a long time. The thing is… I haven't found much. It's not for lack of trying, but we don't have many job prospects. You have skills and I have… something of an education- but we have no place to go from here. If we don't do something soon you and the children will be stuck in that godforsaken town until you all die.

            You received a letter several years back- the one Mum threw out. I rescued it from the garbage… and I'm with the people who sent it to you. It turns out, Lassie, that you're a witch. A real witch. You were supposed to come to this school, Hogwarts, five years ago. Mum lied to you. They were offering you a full scholarship- they would have even paid for your books. Anything you'd have needed would have been offered. Those weird quirks we were always trying to hide from the neighbors? That was your magic making itself evident.

            I'm at the school right now. Apparently, the letter Mum sent back stated that you were critically ill and weren't expected to live long. You must write to these people. They may still take you. You'd have to work terribly hard to catch up- but think of it! You'd be away from that house; you'd be free to do what you wanted.

            The children… are an issue. I know you just can't leave them with Mum… but have you considered asking some of the townspeople to take them in? A few of the older women who have never had children would probably be glad to have a child to spoil. I know it's against your principles to give up the children, to let other people relieve you of your burden, but please, Lass- consider it. Please.

            They're really not your job. We're talking about your future. Do you really want to stay in a town where you're just another Dubhcana? Mum hasn't paid her rent or any bills or taxes for years. It's only a matter of time before people come looking for money and when they realize there is none, they'll take the house.

            It's your choice. Think about it. If you decide to come to Hogwarts, send word back with the owl. Address the letter to Headmaster Albus Dumbledore.

As always,

Your loving brother,

Alastor Wolfgang Dubhcana

            "He's lost his fucking mind. I can't just leave here," she said, before realizing that the only thing in the room awake enough to hear her was the owl. "I… I just can't. It all sounds so wonderful… but I… I can't."

            The owl hooted softly and she reached out to stroke it. "Maybe… no. I couldn't. And I'd be so old… too old if normal children start learning to be witches at eleven! I'm nearly sixteen!"

            The owl looked at her as though to say, 'and your point is?'

            "My point is… I can't just pack up and leave!"

            'Why not?' the owl's eyes seemed to say.

            "'Cause it just wouldn't be right, that's why. I can't just abandon the kids like their fathers… and my father… did."

            'It's not abandonment. You'll be back for them.'

            "How the hell are you able to convey that much in a glance? Maybe I'm losing my mind and projecting my thoughts onto you. You're… saying isn't really the right word… nor is telling… but you're telling me just what I want to hear. All right, I'll write this man, this Albus Dumbledore. I doubt he'll take in a student who's nearly six years too old… but it's worth a try, I guess."

            She searched for a pen and wrote on the back of Alastor's letter:

Dear Sir,

            My name is Alastriana Niamh Dubhcana. I don't know if you're serious about allowing me to attend Hogwarts… but I'd like to take you up on your generous offer of… five years ago. I know it'll be a lot of work to catch up to the other students but… I'd really like a chance. Contact me if you'll let me attend. You know how to find me, no doubt. I've been living in the same town all my life. I don't go far.

Respectfully yours,

Alastriana Dubhcana

~~~

BENNY:

Forces are gathering,

Forces are gathering,

'Can't turn away,

Forces are gathering

COLLINS:

Ughhh

Ughhh

Ughhh- I can't think

Ughhh

Ughhh

Ughhh- I need a drink

MARK:

The music ignites the night with passionate fire!

ROGER:

The narration crackles and pops with incendiary wit!

~~~

            The minute she'd given the letter to the owl and watched it fly off into the darkness, she felt ill. She had no idea what she was getting herself into. Could she handle this?

            The house. They'd take away the house. Alastriana sighed, her grandparents had built this house. They'd been nothing like her mother. Her grandmother's surname had been Mc… Mc-something. It was an honest name, however. Nothing like Dubhcana. In a town as small as the one Alastriana lived in- names mattered. She wondered if they mattered in Hogwarts. I have to get out of this town, she thought. I have to get away… I have to get out of this town…

            That would become her mantra.

~~~

MARK:

Zoom in as they burn the past to the ground

MARK and ROGER:

And feel the heat of the future's glow!

MARK and COMPANY:

How do you leave the past behind

When it keeps finding ways to get to your heart?

It reaches way down deep and tears you inside out

'Till you're torn apart!

Rent

~~~

            She'd leave as soon as she got the children settled into new homes. It shouldn't take long. Her mother wouldn't put up much of a fight- she'd have the house to herself then, to do whatever she wanted.

            Alastriana would leave her past behind.

            "And maybe no one at Hogwarts will call me by that goddamn nickname. I will scream if anyone calls me Lassie ever again. Do I look like a collie? Hmm… only sometimes when I wake up in the morning."

            She sighed, "I've got to get out of here. I've started talking to myself."

~~~

ROGER and COMPANY:

How can you connect in an age

Where strangers, landlords, lovers

Your own blood cells betray!

COMPANY:

What binds the fabric together

When the raging, shifting winds of change

Keep ripping away?

BENNY:

Draw a line in the sand

And then make a stand!

ROGER:

Use your camera to spar

MARK:

Use your guitar

COMPANY:

When they act tough- you call their bluff!

~~~

            She would go to Hogwarts. She'd use all of the resources she had available- and some she didn't. She'd steal, she'd fight, and she do whatever was necessary. "'Course I have no idea where I'm going to get the money from. I can't steal that much from Mum. She'll notice after a while. I'm hardly going to sell the children."

            Deciding that there wasn't much else she could do that night, Alastriana undressed, and fell asleep on the floor with the other children. They'd discuss what was going on in the morning.

~~~

COMPANY:

We're not gonna pay

Last year's rent

This year's rent

Next year's rent

Rent, rent, rent, rent, rent

We're not gonna pay rent

MARK and ROGER:

'Cause everything is rent!

~~~