Goryo threw himself wearily upon the bed. Despite the fatigue in his limbs and the pain in his head, he restlessly twisted and turned among the sheets. The day had been exceptionally tiring, and somehow amidst the celebration of his hundredth office he had been drained. Stilling himself for a moment, Goryo wondered if the day had always been so long, the staff always so incompetent, the regular tasks always so overwhelming?
"Ebisu, just what are you doing ba-"
His voice broke as he realized the difference. This had been the first full day he'd had without Ebisu. Usually the judge would be in by now, arriving with whatever he'd know Goryo wanted depending on his mood through the day.
Goryo groaned, turning his head to look at the small bell on his bedside table. He'd never had to use it, Ebisu had always come in without prompting, and now that he thought about it such things weren't really in a judge's job description. Had Ebisu really been taking on the duties of a first clerk?
Turning away from the bell, Goryo curled up on himself, his extended thinking only upsetting him more the longer he carried on. He felt his cheeks heating up, and shamefully he realized the stinging at the edges of his eyes were the beginnings of tears. The realization only made it harder to hold them back, and with nowhere to vent, Goryo finally broke. The sounds of his own sobs disgusted him, his shame hotter than the tears rolling down his face.
He tried to tell himself that this was a one-time occurrence. One moment of weakness. A moment he shouldn't have had; he had grown weak relying on that fool clown. Ten long years, good riddance!
But then he thought of the next night, and all the nights after. His voice broke again as Goryo choked on another sob, and he buried his face in his pillow and hoped that none of his employees could hear him.
