When we Got our Hearts...

A/N: Okay. What if the Organization got their hearts? well...read this and see my view of it!^^

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Saïx walked out to the balcony. He sighed, looking into the now empty sky that Kingdom Hearts once illuminated. Kingdom Hearts was gone now...They had gotten their hearts from it and that was that. The foreign beating in his chest made him smile for a second. Then, he remembered the reason he came out here...

All the members were packing up and ready to start their new lives.

Earlier, he'd bumped into Toxen and Demyx.

"...That would be awesome! Maybe we could do music lessons there!" Toxen said, smiling.

"I was thinking the same!" Demyx agreed, pulling her closer as they hauled their suitcases and bags of all sorts down the hall. "Oh, hey Saïx! How's it going?"

"Fine." He lied, flashing them a fake smile.

"Demyx and I are gonna go live together! Isn't that great? We were thinking of starting our own studio, too!"

Demyx nodded and kissed the top of her head.

"That's...great. I wish you two the best of luck with that."

"Thanks!" Toxen said, grinning.

"We wish you the best, too." Demyx said.

Saïx smiled a smile that was about 20% real. "Thank you."

"What are you planning to do, Saïx?" Toxen asked, "If I may ask you."

Saïx sighed. "You'll know soon enough."

"Tox, we should get going." Demyx said, feeling a little bad for the bluenette.

And they were on their way.

Saïx found himself sighing at their love. How come he couldn't have something like that with...Oh. He knew why. He began to wonder what the other members were up to.

He found Roxas packing up in his room.

Saïx knocked on the open door.

Roxas turned his head and raised his eyebrow. "Saïx?"

"May I come in?"

"Uh...yeah."

Saïx came into the room, smiling. "So, are you excited?"

Roxas nodded fiercely with a huge, childish grin. "You betcha!"

Saïx laughed at that. "Yeah, I can see now."

Roxas kept his grin at Saïx as he sat on his suitcase to force it shut, so he could zip it closed.

"So Roxas, what are you going to do?"

"Well, I want to be a journalist. Y'know, I want to be what everyone thinks about when they say 'The Press'."

"Really? I thought you'd want to take that Keyblade of yours and be a superhero. Superman doesn't have one of those, you know." Saïx joked.

Roxas rolled his big, blue eyes. "What am I? Five years old?"

"Well, compared to the rest of us..."

"That was rhetorical!"

Saïx laughed again. "What about that singing voice of yours?"

"Eh. Singing is fun, it's just not where my heart is."

"Oh? You've had a heart a few days and it's already going places, huh?"

Roxas giggled. "Yep. So...uh...Axel was looking for you earlier. He said he needed to ask you something very, very important." He informed, his face going serious.

"Axel?" Saïx's face fell a bit. "Do you know where he is now?"

"Last I saw him, he was packing up with Xera in his room, and they were discussing their plans for...y'know..."

"Yeah...Well, I'll get back to him on that. Thank you, Roxas. And good luck."

"Thanks. Good luck to you, too. I'll see you in a few months, right?"

"Yeah. I'll be there..."

"I'm sorry about Xera, Saïx."

Saïx turned back to see Roxas.

His stare was cast at the floor, his eyes low and gloomy. His lip quivered a little, as if he might cry. "I just...I'm so sorry that all of this is happening to you! This is supposed to be a happy time for all of us...and I hate that you're so sad!"

"Roxas, Xera doesn't need me...In a few months, she'll be married to Axel and..."

"And you'll have lost your two best friends." Roxas said, his eyes wet with tears.

"They'll still be my friends...they'll just be together. In a sense, nothing has changed."

Roxas shook his head. "I hope you get what you're looking for, in the end."

"Thank you." Saïx left Roxas, going to see what Axel wanted. The future husband of the woman he loved...they were both his best friends in the days before losing their hearts, but he had a tendency to feel like a third wheel, he could feel the love between the two. It really hurt.

He saw Xigbar leaving his room from way down the hall. "Hey! Saïx, what's up?"

"Nothing Xigbar. Axel was calling and I'm going to see what he wanted."

"Oh, cool. Say, if you can spare a second, I could use some company while I'm packing up. Ryx went to talk to Toxen and Xera. But if you're in a rush..."

Saïx sighed. He bdid/b want to know what everyone was up to..."Okay. What are you planning?" he asked, quieting down once he approached the other's room, which was almost the end of the hall.

Xigbar sat on his bed. "Nothing really. I'm a go-with-the-flow kinda guy, so I don't have that much planned, I guess. Well...besides attending Strawberry Shortcake's wedding." Ah, yes. Xigbar with nicknames. He had many for Xera, Strawberry Shortcake was just one, mostly because she was a short pinkette. It wasn't the only nickname he'd given her, and he had nicknames for everyone else, too.

"Maybe I'll finally get to see you in a suit, eh?" Saïx laughed a little.

"Yeah...you will. But only because I'm a groomsman. If I wasn't, I wouldn't dress up at all."

Saïx laughed. He hadn't learned his position in the wedding yet...probably a groomsman. "You know who the bridesmaids are?"

"Toxen is the Maid of Honor. I know that, she was crying when Xera asked her to be. Reminds me of how Shortstack fainted when she got proposed to. Ryx is a bridesmaid, too...Oh! And check this: Roxas is the iRing Bearer/i! Is that not the cutes thing you've heard?"

Saïx laughed again, "Roxas?! The Ring Bearer? Wow. Just...wow."

Xigbar laughed, "Yeah."

"Do you ever plan to get married?"

Xigbar shook his head. "As if! Marriage is overrated. Ryx and I will just stick together, we don't need marriage to prove anything. Still, when someone announces that they're getting married, it's a beautiful thing, y'know?"

"I see what you're saying. Eh, different people: different views."

Xigbar nodded. "Well, I'd hate to hold you up. I'm sure what Flame-Head needs to tell you will be regarding the wedding, so, it was nice talking to you."

Saïx nodded, "I wish you and Ryxtha the best."

"Yeah, thanks. You take care of yourself, too."

Saïx nodded and bumped into Ryxtha on his way out.

"Ups! Sorry, Saïx!" she apologized.

"It's fine. I'll be seeing you two at the...wedding." He smiled yet another fake smile, which was seemingly genuine.

"Bye Saïx!" Ryx said, smiling back at him.

He waved and left, down the hall, back in the direction of Axel's room.

Zexion and Vexen were going down the hall, having some type of conversation.

"...A library? Why don't you come be a scientist, with me?"

"Vexen, I love science just as much as the next guy-"

"Not if the next guy is me." Vexen interrupted, grinning.

"...True. But books are truly where my passion is! I mean; I'll still come and assist you from time to time...but I really want to own a library!"

"Passion? What passion? You wouldn't know passion if it kicked you in the- Saïx? Hello!"

"Hey...What's going on?"

"Discussing plans for the future-Zexy wants to be a librarian. Bo-ring." Vexen said with a fake yawn. He was carrying a box marked with 'DANGER! WARNING: Contents inside box VERY FLAMMABLE and DANGEROUS! HANDLE WITH CARE!'

"NO! I said I want to own the library! Not to be the librarian!"

"Still boring."

Saïx shook his head, "Well, if that's what Zexion wants to do, he must see some fun in it."

"Whatever." Vexen said, shifting the box like it was nothing, "I just want to go back to being a scientist. A ireal/i scientist."

"I figured. Well, good luck with that."

"Thanks! You, too. C'mon Zexion, we've got stuff to do before we can kiss this castle goodbye."

Saïx smiled at them as they went on down the hall. Then he set his destination back to Axel's room.

...And then Marluxia came running down the hallway, "SAIX!" he called.

Saïx laughed inside of his head. i"The interruptions never cease."

Marluxia stopped abruptly affront the bluenette, waving a hand as a simple hello. "Hey! Can you do something for me?"

"What?"

"I need you to sign this." it was a book with all the member's names in it. Real names and X blade names.

"Uh...sure." Saïx wrote his names there.

"Xera gave me the idea. She's doing it, too." He said, "Y'know, I'd inever/i want to forget you guys."

"I don't think we'd allow each other to forget one another." Saïx said.

"True. Still, I want to have something visual to look back on. Thanks!" Marluxia smiled.

"So Marluxia, since you're standing in front of me I might as well ask, what are you planning to do?"

"I'm going to be a model. I can already see it. And when I raise enough cash, I'm going to get some nice landscaping and have the most beautiful garden the worlds' have ever seen! What about you?"

"My thoughts are scrambled right now. I'm still not sure."

"Oh. Well, I hope you figure that out. I've got more signatures to collect, so I'll be seeing you in a few months or so."

"Goodbye."

Marluxia waved and sped down the hallway.

Saïx was now expecting to run into someone else.

That he did. Larxene, in fact. "Hey Saïx. Y'know something?"

"What?"

"I'm going to be an actress."

"Oh?"

"You can so see it, right? I mean...I'd just be perfect! I've totally got what it takes, right?"

Saïx nodded. "Axel's in his room, right?"

"Sure is. I was just talking to him. Xera left to go be with the other girls, and that's where I'm headed now. See you later!"

"Bye..." Saïx said as the blonde girl brushed past him.

Saïx opened the door to Axel's room. "You...wanted to speak with me?"

Axel smiled. "Saïx! Sit."

Saïx sat on Axel's bed, now white and coverless due to the red-head's packing up.

"I wanted to ask you something, about me and Xera's wedding. Two questions, actually."

"I'm listening."

"Sai...are you ireally/i comfortable showing up? I mean...I'm marrying the girl we both really love...and...I just don't want you to feel like you ihave/i to come, because you most certainly do not. We just really want you there...but you don't have to come!" He quickly reminded.

"I'm going to come, whether or not I'm comfortable. Yes, it still hurts that she chose you over me, but both of you are my best friends and I'm going to be there to support you."

Axel smiled, "Leading into question 2. Saïx...I...I want you to be my best man."

Saïx's eyes widened. Him? Best man? "Axel...you want me? Your best man? Why?"

"Well it's not like you're my bbest friend/b ,or anything." Axel said sarcastically.

Saïx smiled. "Right. Of course I'm going to be your best man and I'm glad you asked me. Thank you."

Axel grinned. "You're welcome."

They hugged for a quick moment, making sure no one saw them.

"I'll see you later, Sai."

"Sure thing, Axe." With that, Saïx was gone.

He decided he'd head to the Grey Area, just to see what was up there.

Luxord was playing poker with Xaldin and Lexaeus; Toxen, Xera, Larxene, and Ryxtha were talking about the wedding, Marluxia was looking through the book he was getting signatures in, and Vexen and Zexion were checking off a list.

He went to the three playing poker first.

"Saïx! Hey! You want to join in on the next round?" Luxord asked.

"Don't do it, Saïx! Luxord will rob you dry!" Xaldin said.

Lexaeus just nodded.

"Oh no, I'm not interested. I was just wondering what you guys have planned."

"I'm going to become a famous magician. Y'know, the ireal/i ones who do street tricks on T.V." Luxord said.

"I can see that already." Saïx said, rolling his eyes.

"I'm going to be a high-class chef." Xaldin said, drawing a card, "It's something I've always wanted to try."

Lexaeus was just quiet.

"What about you, Lexaeus?" Saïx asked.

"Therapist." was all he said.

"You know the word 'rapist' is in therapist?" Luxord pointed out, laughing a little, "the-rapist."

Lexaeus just shook his head, "Real mature."

Saïx and Xaldin laughed a little. "Really, Luxord?"

"Well it is!"

"Well thanks for telling me, I was just wondering." Saïx said, shaking off some of the laughter.

"You want to see a quick trick?" Luxord asked, grinning.

"Sure, why not." Saïx asked.

"Yay! I pretty much already won anyways." He cleared the table. "Okay, I want each of you to take one card from anywhere in this hand." He said, offering the hand to each of them one time.

They each took one card.

"Don't show me the card, just keep it for five seconds."

Saïx had the Queen of Hearts.

Xaldin had the Ace of Spades.

Lexaeus had the King of Diamonds.

They waited five seconds and put the cards back in random order in the hand when Luxord offered, his head turned so there was no chance of him seeing the cards.

"Okay." Luxord shuffled them thoroughly, then took a dramatic pause. Then, he threw the cards across the table, three of them remained in his hand. He turned the hand, "Were these your cards?" Queen of Hearts, Ace of Spades, King of Diamonds. In that order they were sitting.

The other three were shocked.

"How did you do that? That's not even how we put the cards in!" Xaldin yelled, he was smiling, though. That trick was amazing.

"A good magician never tells the secrets to his tricks." Luxord said, grinning again.

"That was amazing. You'll make it as a famous street magician for sure." Saïx said, nodding.

Lexaeus nodded in agreement.

"Well, I'd best be on my way. Thanks for the trick Lux." Saïx said as he got up. He needed to see the member most famous among the others.

There he was. Just as expected.

Xemnas was in his chair, arms crossed and in thought. None of them wore their coats anymore, and he was wearing a suit.

"Lord Superior?" Saïx asked, standing in the center of the room.

"Saix. I'm not your superior anymore." Xemnas said with a slight laugh.

"Right...uh...Xemnas." Saïx said, slightly embarrassed.

"What do you need?"

"I was just wondering...what are you going to do?"

Xemnas laughed again. "I'm going to stay here, in the castle. I have no business to be leaving, not yet."

"But...won't you get lonely?"

Xemnas shook his head, "I have the dusks to keep me company."

Saïx laughed a little.

"You know, Xera was looking for you earlier this day." he said, finally opening his amber eyes.

"Xera?" He was just in the same room as her...she must not have seen him.

"Precisely. She said she really needed to talk to you."

"Thank you Lord Superior-uh...I mean...Xemnas."

"You're welcome."

Xera had been busy with the other girls, so that's how Saïx got here. Out on the balcony.

He sighed. Everyone had plans...except Xigbar. Xaldin, A chef. Vexen, a real scientist. Lexaeus, a therapist. Zexion, a library owner. Axel, a married man/whatever else he wants to do. Demyx, a co-studio owner. Luxord, a magician. Marluxia, a model. Larxene, an actress. Roxas, a journalist. Toxen, a co-studio owner. And Xera-

"A Therapist." A voice said from behind him.

He turned. It was Xera.

"Lexaeus and I discussed working together in that field after the wedding. I love to help people." she said. She must have been reading his thoughts...damn psychic.

All he gave her was a nod.

She stood next to him. "Saïx...I'm sorry-"

"Don't apologize." Saïx said flatly.

"But-"

"I should be apologizing to you...I've mistreated you so many years..."

"Saïx, I told you not to apologize for that...I get it. You were trying to cover up the way you truly felt. There's no hard feelings."

"That doesn't make it okay! I hate the way I treated you! I took advantage of you, knowing you would always forgive me every time! Xera, sometimes you just can't forgive and forget! I don't deserve to be your friend at all, but you still accept me as your best friend, and I don't understand why! Even before you knew I loved you, you still forgave me! Why, Xera? Why?"

Xera placed her hand over her heart, which was now beating fast out of fear and excitement.

Saïx took a deep breath. He needed to get this off of his chest, even though she probably already knew half of it. He needed to say this.

He said, "You never forget the first time you fall in love with someone. Even though I had no heart...I remember seeing your face for the first time and feeling what I didn't know was love then...It was a first sight thing, and I know you'll never be able to be mine...but I will always love you. No one else could ever have what we had...and I know I said we had nothing...but it was there. And I know you felt it too...but your feelings for Lea were stronger...and knowing that you loved him instead of me really hurt. When you died, I knew I would never have another chance with you. When I saw you again on your initiation, the hatred for your feelings for him rushed to me, and i acted on it. I took out my hatred for your choice on you...and I'm sorry. But just know, whenever I mistreat you...I love you when I'm doing it."

Tears fell down Xera's face. She started sobbing. "I'm sorry Saïx! I wish there was something I could do..but..."

"Stop crying. Don't waste any valuable tears on me." He said, wiping away her every tear, looking into her deep emeralds of eyes. "I know you don't love me...at least not like you love Axel. But, I'll always love you. And that means: no matter what, all I want is for you to be happy. Even if it means I'm not happy entirely."

"Sai...You are my best friend. No matter what, you'll always be that. And i'm sorry I can't give you my love...but your friendship means a lot." She hugged him tightly, crying into his tan trench coat.

He wrapped his arms around her, enjoying this moment as much as he could. "Xera, I'm glad I could talk to you."

"Me too." She said, not moving from his embrace.

The rest of the time they were silent, crying to each other as the sounds of the night were the only thing accompanying them.

And for the first time that day, as the tears rolled down his face, Saïx's smile was 100% real.

Because he knew that in reality, it couldn't get better than this.