Aubry 8

Disclaimer: Family Guy, Futurama, and Venture Bros. and other Fictions belong to Fox Network, Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, etc. This is crossover fiction I wrote for my freshman English class.

No one is going to have a totally fun time on this mission. Who would want to go the lands of Last Paradise? Despite being a mythical Utopia, it is call "Last Paradise" because it is a Paradise set on what remains of a destroyed universe. Their destroyed universe. It's going back to your devastated ancestral home land. Devastation caused by an apocalyptic event involving a near judgment day and malicious supernatural forces. But it's an order from the Grand Theologian, the theocratic ruler of the Toons' current national homeland, the Canon States. It's patriotic duty. "At least it's better than helping ZAFT stop that colony thing from hitting Earth," exclaimed a slightly optimistic fat Toon Peter Griffin.

"Damn it Toon, blast that debris before they hit Italy!" shouted the Coordinator officer.

"What the hell do you think I'm doing?" Peter and the ZAFT lieutenant are in the small steam punk Toon ship shooting at the remains of the PLANT, Julius Seven, like in arcade game Space Invaders. Then one piece passed them, and a huge GAMEOVER flashed up in the middle of Space out of nowhere.

"WHAT WAS THAT," the officer was about to pop a vessel.

"Quick give me another quarter."

"What?"

"Just give me the…"

"How is a quarter…?"

"Come on, bud, time's running out!"

"DO YOU HONESTLY THINK I HAVE LOOSE CHANGE ON ME?"

"Oh wait, wait…?"

"WHAT!"

"Crap, I need 2 quarters."

"Boy, I remember that incident," Brian, Peter's dog, recalled. "Thank Sigmar that the Vatican forgave us despite what those Blue Cosmos jerks told them."

"I'm terribly sorry but, as much as we all love seeing your pathetic failure that cause a whole Gundam war, how s'about we all get to business, and hear something that's actually smart and is part of the main plot-line for a change," intervened the so-called "super scientist", Dr. Thaddeus "Rusty" Venture.

"Hey Peter, did you fight in a giant robot," asked Dr. Venture's son, Hank, eager to listen story about mobile suite fights.

"Yeah," spoke the other son, Dean, equally eager, "That would be so cool, imagine if it were a gundam."

"Oh, I would love to pilot a gundam," Fry's imagination is aroused by this talk of giant mecha, making all sorts of laser and explosion noises. "Take that Alien scum."

"Uh, pizza boy, mobile suits never went up against aliens," pointed out Dr. Venture's Body Guard, Brock Samson

"Shut up about those self-righteous hippies," hissed robot Bender, agitated. "Those big idealists can all just bite my shinny, and normal sized, metal butt."

Lela, the cycloptic captain of the team's ship, the Futurama Ship, sense severe distractions coming from the group. "Guys, this really isn't the time to talk about these kinds of things."

"Lela is right," the elderly Toon scientist Dr. Farnsworth appears on the ship's steam punk computer's screen. "Enough talk of magical girls, we have more important things to discuss about."

"Finally," Dr. Venture breathed out with relief.

"Let us now review our mission and the legend of Last Paradise for the one thousandth time for no apparent reason."

"Oh come."

Everyone else is equally irritated. Brock could only take so much from only one unimpressive scientist. "This is pathetic," he said. "Oh gods and Almighty, you're starting to make Rusty look good!" This bothered the scientist in question. Farnsworth continues, despite everyone's disapproval.

"Long ago, there was a cabal of mutant philosopher mages. They were once part of Wien 9, a group of aliens who, after observing English farm animals that seemed to have driven away their human masters and accepted a form of communist community that ultimately failed, dedicated their lives to create a utopian society. However, due to their different visions of that society, they separated to form their own utopia. The mutants discovered the idea that an organic sentient being do not have the capability to become a leader of complete perfection, seeing that there are too many things that could corrupt them. There for, they concluded that the position of leadership can only be given to something mechanical, something the philosophers believe is incorruptible.

"The cabal traveled across many worlds, universes and dimensions, searching for the location to build their paradise, until they came upon our doomed realms meeting their final moments. Most of us were fortunate enough to escape the destruction, unlike the small Kiddy Toons who were incapable of noticing the dark and demonic forces we've been fighting, let alone their brush with hellish doom."

"Well yeah," said Brian, "the only thing those kids would notice is a closet monster, and even they are nothing more than mean. They aren't able to acknowledge the dangers of infernal nightmares or undead abominations."

Farnsworth agreed. "Quite true, but that is were the legend truly begin. Rumor has it that these mutant mages, pitying the carefree characters of children stories, save them from the evil that could have easily ended them. Then they built their city in their lands and brought them together into one perfect nation, with a super computer, a hybrid of magic and technology, as its ruler. It is our mission to confirm this legend and make an alliance between this utopia and cities, if possible."

"Finally, I thought he'll never finish." Fry was bored out of his mind.

"Nice story," said the Peter, "so totally worth hearing a thousand times."

Venture is also sarcastic. "Congratulation in getting this stuff stuck in our heads."

"Thank you." Dr. Farnsworth's image vanished from the computer's screen.

"What did I miss," Bender didn't hear a single word. He had his hearing system turned off.

The Futurama ship is already a week in the journey. Brock is exercising, Dean and Hank are solving made up mysteries, pathetically, Bender is getting drunk, and Peter is driving his dog nuts. "Are we there yet?" the obese being asked for Lord knows how many times.

"Damn it Peter, no, no we're not there yet, and we will not be there for a long, long time, so SHUT UP!"

"Oh alright, alright…are we there yet?"

"For Reo's sake, Peter…"

"We're here!" Lela cried from the piloting seat.

"Oh, thank Huhueteotl!" Venture is on the brink of oblivion.

All the Toons rushed to the bridge, to see a mass of swirling energy, spiraling into a vortex.

"That must be the rift into the Tooniverse," Fri pointed out.

"Or at least what was left of it." Venture's body guard corrected.

"Now the only Toons in there are the girly, childish, and educational." Said Dean. Lela is prepairing the ship for the dive into the portal.

"Buckle your set bealts guys, we're going in." The ship dove right into the dimensional rift. Right into what's left of the realm of madness.

The Toon ship tore pass through the formless shapes and utter madness, the nature of the Tooniverse and it's natives. The ship arrived at the other end of the tunnel of insanity. The crew saw a happy, care free land full of lush green. It was unlike their original worlds, and definitely nothing like the cramp, steam and magic driven, interdimensional city ships they now call home. The Futurama ship landed onto its natural enviroment, Toon environment, and the diplomats of their Theocracy steped out onto the grass by a dirt path. They didn't absorb their surounding, for it is not their native lands. It didn't take long for a little Toon girl with a boot wearing monkey to come along and approched the amiture diplomats.

"Well, if it isn't Dora the Explorer," Brock said. "And that monkey in the red boots, what's his name…"

"Hola extraños, my name is Dora," introduced the girl. "And this is my friend Boots."

"That's it," Brock said, "Boots."

"Hello strangers." The group just looks at them. Lela knelt down to meet Dora's eye level, seeming to be the most capable one there to talk to these kinds of Toons.

"Hey, little girl, do you where a place called Last Paradise is?"

"Of course," Dora replied. "It's our capital city; map can show you the way. Just say map."

"Do we have to?" Hank complained. The baby Toon insisted, and the more mature Toons grudgingly performed the task.

"Map," They said. The scroll with eyes popped out of his pocket on Dora's backpack.

"Say it loader," Dora pressured on. Venture just got annoyed.

"What, can't it hear us, is he deaf?"

"JUST GET OVER HERE!" Bender ordered. The map then shot from his pouch, and landed face first on the dirt path, trembling like he never, ever did before. He never heard anyone at all use that tone of voice, ever.

"Uh, uh… If there's a place you want to go…" the small roll of animated parchment tried to sing happily, "I'm the one who's gonna know..." The more mature Toons will not have that.

"Don't sign." Brian stopped the surprised piece of paper. But he continues doing what he does best.

"You guys need to get to the utopian city of Last Paradise."

"Let me guess, you know how to get to that utopian city, and you will cut the crap, and tell us how to get there within ten seconds or we'll hand you over to a Firebender." The map didn't understand Brock's threat.

"Just tell us how to get there, or we will burn you." Bender said aggressively. The map still doesn't understand.

"Just tell us," Brain implored. The map did so.

"First, you go to the land of Strawberry Short Cake, then you go though the land of My Little Pony..."

"And then we arrive at Last Paradise." Hank is getting the hang of it.

"That's right, say it with me."

"No," the assembly said in unison. The map then rushed back into Dora's backpack. Turning back to Dora, they saw that, out of nowhere, as if this childish reality is a computer game, there were three icons before her. Each of them represents the three points on the map. And the girl points out the locations and repeats the map's instructions.

"And first we go to…" a blue cursor, which also appeared out of nowhere, click on the first, obvious icon. "My Little Pony, right."

"OH MY GOD!" Peter is in a panic. "WE'RE IN A COMPUTER GAME! HOLY CRAP, THIS IS THE MATRIX! NEO, SIGMAR, HELP ME!" The fat man ran back into the ship, screaming like a little girl, much to Brain's embarrassment. Lela thanks the little Toon and the team boarded back on the Futurama Ship. Once they left, Dora and Boots started a new adventure to find a big blue octopus.

The Canon States Toons barely enjoyed following a blue dog's paw prints to find something trivial, and the little ponies didn't help much either, although they did enjoy Strawberry Shortcake's shortcakes. After several irritating adventures with multiple childish Toons, they finally made it to their destination. Being in the presence of the city was well worth the grueling trip, a million times over. The walls of the city magnificent and the gates was a sight to behold.

"It's so beautiful." Lela was in total aw.

"It looks just like Paradise," Dean remarked.

"How do we get in," Peter asked, staring dumb-struck at the gate.

"Do'no', why don't we just knock?" Lela disapproves of Fry's suggestion.

"Fry, you can't just burst right in there like barbarians. We are representatives of both a united confederation of a devout, yet open minded, theocratic city states, a religion and its institution. What are you trying to do, give them a bad impression of all of us?" Bender, Peter, and the Venture Brothers are already banging on the marvelous example of an entrance. Lela, Dr. Venture and Brian just shook their head, Samson just stood there with indifference.

"Boys will be boys," remarked the one-eyed captain, scientist and dog. While the simple minded are struggling to get the gate open, it granted their wishes. The door opened slightly, and a little man in a white, elegant yet tattered robe emerged from the compounds of the city.

"We have been expecting you, ye faithful Toons." Dr. Venture took the spotlight rather bluntly.

"Greeting, do you have problems, difficulties, any crisis that might threaten your perfect world, then good relations between your city state and our city states could be called for."

"Oh, we had such a crisis, but we assessed the situation." The little man spoke, trembling.

"What's wrong?" Lela asked with concern

"Hey, where the head honcho here," Bender asked, not as politely. The man looked spooked by the bending unit.

"Do you want the Carnifex Mechanicus?"

"Yeah," responded Brain. "If you mean that machine everyone said rules this place." The man looked pale.

"Are you with the uncompromisable," he asked with fear.

"What are you talking about?" Peter was curious why this citizen at the gate looks almost terrified. Everyone was, and what is the uncompromisable? The man relaxed a bit.

"Step inside." They obeyed, and saw what seems to be one of the most beautiful, and tranquil cities they have ever seen, if it weren't for what looks to be battle scars and wreckage. The inhabitance, which appears to be from all over the megaverse, looks like they've awoken from a pretty nasty nightmare. They are repairing the damage… done by what?

"Wow," Venture was the first to speak after the unexpected surprise. "What the hell happened here?"

"You shall never know the answer, Dr. Thaddeus Venture!"

The voice came from thin air. It startled all that is present, except the Venture Team. Instead, they were annoyed. Venture just breathed out, "Oh no." Then a man, a Toon in a tiny crown and golden butterfly suit, hoped into the scene.

"It is I, your arch-nemesis, THE MONARCH!" He shouted menacingly.

"Who the hell is…AHHH!" Peter was tackled by an oversized chicken, and who then proceed to brawl with Griffin. The Toons and the citizens around them just watch them duke it out.

The butterfly super-villain got back on track. "Where was I, Oh yes. I have come to destroy you and turn this Utopia into a… DYSTOPIA!"

"And why do you want to ruin this piece of heaven?" Brock asked, brashing out his knife, ready to defend the Venture family and his fellow Toons, and every innocent, from any danger, which is pretty much unlikely to come.

"Because, all the other big-shot super villains are laughing at me and calling me names, even Opal Koboi. They even called him a goody-good boy scout." The Monarch then spends a moment in self-pity, and in front of every body too, a rather pathetic moment truly. "Well, anyways, PREPAIR TO MEET YOUR…!" A laser shot to his dainty head-wear interrupted him. The entire crowd turns to see a patrol of chromed androids, carrying large, sleek fire-arms.

"We are the policing units, and we will not tolerate your actions, Toon in poorly made costume."

"We'll see who has the poorly made suit. HENCHMEN, ATTACK!"

"Your accomplices are already dealt with," the second tall unit explained, "and are waiting out side the walls of this city.

"Leave now," the third one ordered, raising his long, weaponized arm and pointing it at the villain, "or well will have to do so for you."

"Alright, alright, I'll leave, jeeze," the Monarch complied. "We'll meet again Dr. Venture. I swear it. No one can escape the wrath of THE…"

"Just leave," The law enforcer ordered, and the Monarch did just that.

"Well, that was pointless," the "super" scientist remarked. Some arch-nemesis he has. The gleaming protectors then directed their attention to the other Toons.

"If you wish to see the Carnifex, then follow me."

Peter then came staggering back to his comrades, all scratched and bleeding. "Sorry about that, so who was that? And who are those guys?"

The Toons enter the grand building that is the Carnifex Palace. Although, it seemed to bare the most damage of all the other fine building of the city. They made their ways to amazing, yet tarnished hall ways of the palace, seeing how the wires and machinery blended so well with the rest of the scenery. It is way a long track to what they call the Thrones of Paradise, but it didn't matter with all the excellence and elegance of the structures interior.

When they at last approach the Throne, they were boggled out of their minds. They are in the presence of a great marvel of computer and mechanical engineering. The throne room was massive, for it held an immense device, a computer meant to rule, or so they though. The Toons did see something they didn't think they would see. Imbedded in the mechanism were small beings. They look like lengthy being with only deep eyes present on there clear, white, glowing face. The Toons knew exactly who these people are.

"Hey, they're the mutant wizards the professor was talking about," said Fry.

"That we are Toon." One of the mutants extended himself from his height to meet their guests.

"We are the Carnifex, guardians of the city and the preservers of the children. We are the incorruptible leaders of Last Paradise. You wonder as to what happened to this city, do you not."

"Well yeah," Peter answered. "What happened? We all though it was supposed to be a utopia and everyone said that machines are the rulers around here."

"It once was, but we were wrong in our logic on the mechanical governor, the Carnifex Mechanicus. The plan worked perfectly until the inhabitance began to flaunt the laws of the city state, and when people began to need began to be unique. It was then we saw that the Carnifex pay no heed to the pleas of mercy of additional help. It was then we saw it become the uncompromisable. The machines have no compassion and rules without change and with an iron fist. And all oppositions were seen as a threat to the perfection of the realm, and were dealt with, without relent. We now know that a ruler must also have a compassionate heart, as well as an incorruptible task."

"At least we Futurama Robots aren't like those guys," Bender said, "so then what happened?"

"My comrades and I banded together, and raised a force to overthrow the heartless machine. It was long, and may lives were taken. And in the struggle to free the land from the mechanical tyranny, we fused our selves with the Carnifex Mechanicus, and became Carnifex. Know we are as stern as machine, and loving as the organic. And that we shall remain until the end of our paradise, the end of this city, of this realm, of all things."

"Well then," Dr. Venture spoke, " if you need…"

"We know why you are here, we control the policing units. You may tell your Grand Theologan that we accept your proposal." The Carnifex then hand a scroll which comfermes the alliance. "All he need to do is sign it. I trust that the terms are acceptable."

"Well, we'll just have to see," said Brain. "Thanks. May the Alkighty and all that is holy be with you."

"Like wise." So then the Toons, with a succesful mission completed, departed home.

"So does this mean that we have to go through all those baby-lands again", asked Dean.