Author's note: This is being published with a heavy heart as I've just heard a few minutes ago that Alan Rickman has died. I'm sure he touched many of your lives in his role as Severus Snape, along with his countless other contributions to cinema and theatre. From one misunderstood Slytherin to another, I give you Theo.
I knew it, Theo thought, watching a skinny guy with curly black hair chatting with a much shorter black woman down the bar from him. The boy seemed to be annoyed about something and Theo couldn't help but smirk at his expression.
Justin Finch-Fletchly. Theo had first noticed him in their Fourth Year, at the Yule Ball. What had caused him to notice was his ever-so-charming date, Daphne Greengrass. She and her then best friend Pansy Parkinson cat-called Justin when he entered the Great Hall with his date. This was unremarkable to say the least, seeing as Pansy had something nasty to say about almost everyone that she saw, but what stood out to Theo was that Justin didn't simply ignore the insults the way most muggleborns did. He had turned, looked Pansy straight in the eye and told her to 'Shut the hell up'.
This had caused quite a stir with both Daphne and Pansy, as well as with Hannah Abbott, who was Justin's date and who had dragged him away hastily after the interaction. Curiously, that had also been the last time he ever heard Daphne call anyone a Mudblood.
Theo had proceeded to spot Justin several times throughout the night of the ball; laughing with Ernie MacMillan and Susan Bones, dancing with Seamus Finnegan and Dean Thomas and snogging the hell out of Hannah Abbott. That wouldn't have raised any eyebrows, but the look on Justin's face when he pulled away from Hannah was what did it. It was like looking into a mirror. Since then, and that had been four years ago now, Theo had been sure Justin was also gay.
Aside from this, Theo had only seen Justin sparingly. They shared a class during their sixth year, which was a first. Not many people took the Arithmancy NEWT class, but Justin and Ernie were still inseparable and Draco, for all that he was around, still managed to fill the seat next to his every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon making it next to impossible for Theo to mutter so much as a hello in their direction. Ernie he could handle. They had met a few times as children and even became civil to one another after Mrs. MacMillan became Theo's lawyer. But Draco, Merlin what a pain in the arse.
Theo observed Justin's pained expression as he watched his two friends dancing. Theo reasoned that perhaps he wasn't very comfortable in social situations but no, he'd noticed Justin in Hogsmeade a few times, as well during meal times and out in the grounds. He always seemed to be very outgoing and friendly. It was actually a little off-putting.
Speaking of off-putting, he thought as Justin turned and met his steady gaze, or stare if he was being honest. Justin furrowed his brow for a second before gesturing awkwardly in Theo's direction with his empty glass and turning back towards the dance floor.
Now or never, Theo thought, getting up from his stool with a shrug and moving quickly over to take Alicia Spinnet's vacated seat without a word. He couldn't be sure if Justin had recognized him. If he had, his reaction had been pleasant enough.
He glanced at Justin now and noticed that he was sitting stock-still, looking purposefully down at his glass. Theo supposed he should start a conversation, but what to say? He'd never done this before.
"This music is awful," he finally said, remembering Daphne saying something about how complaining is almost as good as complimenting.
Justin looked up at him with recognition. "Do I know you?" he asked.
Theo nodded. "Yes, we were at Hogwart's together. You were in my Arithmancy class. Justin, right?" As if I don't ruddy know.
Justin flushed and Theo barely suppressed a shrug. Merlin's tits Justin was fit. When did that happen? He was too skinny for his build, but Theo didn't really have room to talk about skinny.
"Um, yeah, that's me. You're Nott right?"
Theo smirked. Always the last name. "Theo, Theo Black these days," he said, trying to sound casual.
He watched as Justin furrowed his brow at the name change but thankfully didn't say anything. "You want a refill?" Theo offered, gesturing to Justin's empty glass.
Justin shook his head. "Nah, I'm actually going to get out of here in a minute."
Theo tried to read his face. Had the mention of that familiar Death Eater's namesake turned Justin off of their conversation? Not that one could really call this a conversation, Theo mused. Besides, I shouldn't assume he's interested just because we're both gay...either way...
"Really? Your friends don't look ready to leave," Theo said, gesturing to where the two women were jumping around to a more upbeat song.
"My flatmates. Well, the one in the blue dress anyway. They don't care if I leave."
Theo turned back to the bar and signaled the bartender before Justin to protest. "Another Scotch please, and, what is that? A cider?"
"Um, a lager," Justin corrected.
"Scotch and a lager," Theo said. The bartender nodded and went about getting their drinks.
"Really, I'm ok," Justin said. Theo thought he looked nervous.
"Are you?" he asked, hoping for an elaboration.
Justin blinked at him. "How do you mean?"
Theo shrugged, at a loss for how to respond. Their drinks came and Theo paid for them quickly, trying to make his intentions clear. They sat and drank in silence for a while, listening to the drum and bass pulse through the room.
What did the pure blood son of a Death Eater have to say to a muggle born? Certainly not "I noticed you weren't at school this year, have a nice holiday? How are the folks?" Fucking hell, you git.
Justin chuckled and it pulled Theo from his morbid thoughts.
"What?" he asked.
"This music is really bad," Justin offered.
Theo smiled and nodded. "Terrible."
"Why are you in here then?" Justin asked suddenly and Theo was once again put off. For some reason he thought Justin would be easy to talk to, but he found himself floundering at every turn.
Finally he asked. "Do you know of a gay bar around that plays classical music?"
Justin flushed but laughed again. "No, I don't know of any other gay bars actually. I was dragged here against my will."
Theo looked at him for a moment. Against his will? Was he actually wrong about his original assumption? Maybe Justin was just in here to placate his friends.
"So, um classical music huh?"
Theo shrugged and played with his drink, already second guessing his attempt at chatting someone up.
"So, is that the only music you like?" Justin prodded. He still seemed interested in getting to know him, that was a good sign, right?
"I like other stuff too. Jazz and Rock. But mostly instrumental."
"What's your favourite band?" Justin asked with almost a challenge in his voice. Theo considered him for a moment before saying, "Radiohead." He knew it shouldn't matter, but he was keen to hear Justin's reaction to this.
"Oh, I like them too," he said cheerily and Theo mentally ticked another invisible box in his brain. "I can play one of their songs on the guitar," Justin added and Theo stared at him for a moment, wondering if he'd heard that correctly. It's so ruddy loud in here.
"Do you play? An instrument, I mean?" Justin went on, oblivious to noise and the crowds that surrounded them.
Theo nodded but didn't elaborate. He was pretty guarded about that topic, not wanting to explain why he didn't play anymore.
"Um, yeah, so, like I said, I play the guitar and the piano," Justin started to say hurriedly, "but I'm not very good. At the guitar. I'm pretty good at the piano. I started lessons when I was five. I used to hate it, you know? But now that I can play whatever it's actually pretty-"
"Do you want to get out of here?" Theo cut across him, avoiding his eyes. He hadn't meant to blurt it out, but he found himself drawn to Justin and wanted to hear everything he had to say about, well, everything, but that would be completely impossible if they remained in this loud, stuffy nightclub.
"S-sure," Justin stuttered, looking suddenly terrified.
Theo waited while Justin settled his tab and then turned to walk pointedly out of the nightclub. He felt his heart pounding the way it did before a big panic attack. Out of habit he went for his cigarettes as soon as he hit the fresh air. It would not be prudent to be a mess of shrugging while trying to chat someone up.
Ah.
"Do you smoke?" he asked Justin, who was standing there looking somewhat out of place, his hands deep in the pockets of a light windbreaker.
Justin shook his head. Theo placed them back in his shirt pocket without a second thought. Surely he could power through. A stiff drink would be in order.
"Um, you can though," Justin offered, "I don't mind. Alicia smokes."
Theo shook his head. "No, that's rude," he blurted, realizing too late he had just called Justin's friend rude. Too late to backtrack, he thought, and headed off in the direction of their next destination. He glanced to either side and realized Justin was not next to him. Had his comment been enough for Justin to decide Theo was just like all the others in his house? He slowed slightly and suddenly Justin was there. It was true that while Justin was tall, he was still much shorter than Theo, whose long legs could cover ground quicker than most with almost no effort at all.
"Where are we going?" Justin asked as they turned down a small offshoot of the alley.
"It's a surprise," Theo said dryly. He tried to smile but his muscles felt all stiff and wrong.
Theo stopped in front of a closed shop and turned to look at Justin. He was curled in on himself slightly, whether from nerves or chill Theo could not be sure. He felt the urge to place his hand on Justin's back but instead turned away and began walking down the basement steps next to the shop.
"Come on," he said. When Justin didn't make to follow Theo turned again to look at him. Why did he seem so terrified?
"Um," Justin said, looking at him.
Theo looked at his watch. "They close in an hour, we have time for one more drink."
Justin furrowed his brow in confusion but followed him down the stairs nonetheless.
They walked in and Theo headed straight for the most secluded seat in the place. He shrugged off the memory of sitting in this very space with David, who never really like the bar, but put up with it both because it was Theo's favorite spot in Diagon Alley and because he was the bar's main wine supplier.
Theo turned to look at Justin, who was still taking in the grand piano, the people sitting and talking and drinking. The glow of candlelight against Justin's pale face made him appear to glow. Theo swallowed hard and then shrugged roughly. The movement was not lost on Justin whose face was full of concern when he turned to look at him. Covering, Theo held out his hand.
"Your jacket," he prompted and Justin blinked at him momentarily before wriggling out of the hideous thing and passing it over to him. Well, no one's perfect, Theo thought, placing both of their coats on the back of the sofa before sitting.
Tara, one of the regular waitresses, came over to take their drinks. She glanced at Justin appraisingly before addressing Theo.
"Highball and…?"
Theo looked at Justin and he shrugged. "Um, I don't know, whatever you're having."
"Highball and a martini," Theo said quickly, gritting his teeth as the shrug he'd been restraining slipped out. Tara nodded and walked away.
Justin gave Theo a curious look. He seemed so unsure and uncomfortable that Theo couldn't help but smile. "You look like you'd drink a martini."
Justin nodded and then bit his lip slightly, looking around. "Ok. So what's this place?" he asked, apparently oblivious to Theo's eyes glued on the sight of his teeth pressing into those lips.
Theo shrugged again, there was no help for it. "Piano bar. More my speed. More your speed too, I think." The last bit came out roughly, as Theo was want for refreshment. For some reason his mouth and throat were completely dry. Justin's nervous habit of biting his lip was not helping.
"Music's better, that's for sure," Justin offered, watching the pianist determinedly. Theo took his eyes off Justin for a moment as Tara returned with their drinks. She gave him a knowing look and then winked before leaving them alone again. Justin turned to take his drink from Theo, who let his finger brush lightly against Justin's hand in a way that could probably be mistaken as accidental. Possibly.
"So you were telling me about your life," Theo said, trying to break the tension. He took a large gulp of his drink and leaned back against their shared sofa.
Justin glanced back at him from where he was perched on the edge of the seat and then did a double take to say, "Um, not really, just the music stuff. I'm pretty boring mostly."
Theo couldn't help but laugh. Immediately he felt self-concious but also a little pleased. Justin had flushed bright red at the sight of him laughing and, having heard enough about it from Daphne of the years, took this as a sign that maybe he actually had a chance here.
He gestured for Justin to move closer and the other boy scooted back so that one of his shoulders was against the back of the seat, his body pointed towards Theo.
"Do you know how many muggleborn wizards I know? Like actually know?" Theo asked him, resting his arm on the back of the sofa so that his fingers were inches from Justin's shoulder.
Justin shook his head.
"None."
Justin bit his lip again, and it felt like a fire was starting in Theo's chest. "Um, ok?"
"So, I think you are plenty interesting and I would like to get to know you. If you want, that is."
There it was. Theo had never put himself out there with anyone before. David had practically preyed on him, even Phineas had initiated that awkward closed-mouth kissed when he was 14-years-old. But Theo had never felt more in control of his life. His father was dead, the Nott name was dead. It was time to start living.
"Ok," Justin finally said, taking a large gulp of his martini and then, coughing slightly, asked, "What," cough, "what do you want to know?"
"Whatever you want to tell me," Theo offered, reclining slightly so that they were the same height. He didn't look at Justin, not wanting to put too much pressure on him.
Justin said nothing for a long time, Theo glanced over to see he was looking somewhat disgustedly at his martini. He leaned forward and placed the drink on the table and then leaned back against Theo's outstretched hand. Theo crossed his legs and implored, "Tell me about where you went to school, before Hogwarts."
Still Justin stayed quiet and Theo pulled slightly on his collar, if nothing else to snap him out of his thoughts.
"I went to a private school," Justin began, sitting as still as a statue while Theo let his finger play with the back of Justin's shirt. Surely if he didn't want him to, he wouldn't have sat so close. "Like Hogwarts sort of, but with all muggle subjects. Reading, maths, science, stuff like that. Not everyone can go though. You need to pay to get in, and interview."
Theo nodded, but did not look at him. He dragged his finger along Justin's upper back and said, "Tell me about science." Justin laughed, seemingly impervious to Theo's touch.
"What do you mean?"
Theo shrugged and pulled his hand away. "I don't know much about science," he admitted. "I was homeschooled by Narcissa Malfoy."
Justin had just been taking a sip of his drink when he spit it back into the glass before looking at Theo in surprise. Theo frowned at his reaction. Why did he have to bring up the Malfoys with a fucking muggleborn?
"Um, really? That's um, uh…" Justin stammered.
"Relax Justin," he said evenly, "I'm not a death eater or anything. I just grew up around them." Theo saw anger pass over Justin's eyes and felt disappointment pull his body heavily down into the sofa. He had ruined it. He had mentioned the two things that should've been completely off limits. What an idiot.
"My parents were murdered this year. By death eaters," Justin spat.
Theo nodded. He knew at this point it was likely Justin wouldn't want anything to do with him, but even the way he stood up for himself made Theo want to kiss him.
"Yes, many people died this year," Theo finally said and while Justin's brow furrow in confusion, he remained silent.
Theo sighed. "So, science. I know that biology is the study of living things, and botany is plants. Um then there's chemisty, right? That's the study of…" He trailed off, not wanting to say 'chemicals' and sound like even more of an idiot.
"Chemistry is about how atoms and matter combine to make up everything on Earth," Justin said quickly, his voice back to its usual upbeat lilt. "When atoms mix or combine in a certain way you get elements. Like oxygen."
Theo raised his eyebrows at him in surprise. Perhaps all hope was not lost. "That's very interesting Justin. Tell me more."
Justin looked at him for a moment before grinning and sitting back against the sofa again. Theo placed his arm back on the couch behind him and this time simply placed his hand on Justin's shoulder.
Justin told him all about the subjects he'd taken in school, when he first started showing signs of magic and when he first found out he was a wizard. This was the most interesting thing about Justin, to Theo. He always wondered what it must be like to not have any idea about the wizarding world for the first eleven years of your life and then to suddenly be thrown into it and not be totally mental. Theo imagined it in reverse and the idea made him queasy. Or perhaps it was the fact that he had consumed a large amount of alcohol on an empty stomach.
The pianist was taking his final bows when Theo felt Justin sigh against his torso. They were sitting so close that if Theo were to shrug his shoulder would hit Justin in the side of the face. Thankfully Justin leaned forward at that point and Theo removed his arm to applaud and get out the shrug that he had been restraining.
Theo stood and held out a hand to Justin who took it and stood as well. When Theo looked down at Justin he blurted, "How tall are you?"
Theo smirked, pulling their jackets off the sofa and handing Justin's to him. "I'm six-six," he replied.
"That's tall," Justin offered and Theo could feel the tension coming off him. This time it wasn't awkward tension, but something more. He shrugged.
"No kidding?" he said sarcastically and Justin smiled goofily. Theo considered kissing him right then but his stomach clenched uncomfortably and the moment passed.
They walked out into the chilly night only to find it had begun to rain.
"Impervious," Theo said, protecting himself and Justin from the elements. "Got to love this glorious English summer we're having," he said dryly, hooking his arm in Justin's and walking back towards the high street. Talking about the weather, Theo…not exactly sexy.
When they reached the junction Theo paused. Could he simply invite Justin back for a nightcap? Thanks what people did, didn't they? If only I wasn't ruddy starving...
"What?" Justin asked, snapping Theo from his thoughts.
"I was thinking about what else might be open," he said, not altogether untruthfully. "Seems I forgot to eat."
At the mention of food, Justin seemed to perk up. Hufflepuffs.
"There's a place near here. They have the best pies."
Theo inclined his head. "Lead the way."
The best pies in town apparently came from the back of an old wagon parked at in front of a rather raucous pub. Justin seemed to realize that it was quite a bit of a mood change from where they had just been because he stopped at looked warily at Theo. "Is this ok? I promise they are the best."
Theo smiled. "It's fine. I trust you."
Justin bit his lip again. Theo let him walk ahead so he could adjust himself. Being a teenage boy was really inconvenient sometimes.
"Two beef and cheese pies," Justin said, pulling out his money pouch.
"Ah," Theo started, putting his hand on Justin's shoulder. Justin brushed him off. "Come on, Theo. I got it. You are very chivalrous and all but-"
Theo laughed, cutting off Justin's adorable diatribe. "No, it's just, I'm a vegetarian."
Justin blinked at him, looking confused.
"I don't eat meat," Theo explained, suddenly unsure if vegetarian was a wizard term.
"I know what a vegetarian is," Justin finally said. "Just…really?"
Theo laughed again. "Yes, really. So," he looked at the hand written menu next to the cart's window. "I'll take the vegetable curry, if you don't mind."
Justin nodded.
When the man came back with their order Justin said, "Can you add two vegetable curry pies as well?"
He let Justin pay and they took their warm, greasy bags of food across the street to sit on the stairs of a closed shop.
"So am I rude if I eat meat around you?" Justin asked when they sat down.
Theo shook his head, already focused on the amazing smells coming out of this brown paper sack. "I don't care," he muttered, taking a bite of the steaming, delicious pie. It was after the first bite that he realized he was actually very drunk and extremely hungry. He also realized that Justin was watching him eat.
"Aren't you hungry?" he asked, finishing his first pie and going in for the second.
Justin laughed. "I guess. Are you sure you're a vegetarian?" he asked.
"Yes, why?"
Justin laughed again and Theo turned away from his food to look at him. "It's just, well, you murdered that!"
Theo shrugged. Justin was teasing him and he couldn't think of anything clever to say because all of the blood in his body was currently pooled in his pants.
"Yes well, I'm hungry," he said stupidly and Justin smirked, but said nothing, instead starting on his own food.
"So, do you live around here?" Justin asked once he had finished with his first pie and folded up his bag. Theo had to admit he did inhale his food, but Justin was right, it was probably the best thing he'd eaten in years. Theo stood up and brushed a few crumbs from his trousers. Justin stood as well and looked up at him expectantly. How did one initiate a kiss? Daphne had done it tons of times, to him, and he never saw it coming. Finally Theo nodded and said, "Do you?"
Justin nodded and pointed down the alley. "I live just a few minutes down the alley. Above the hair salon that Alicia works at."
Theo turned them in the direction he was pointing and began walking.
"I'll walk you home," he offered. Fleetingly, he thought about taking Justin's hand, but feeling this was a bit of a prat move he shoved his hands into his pockets instead. There was still a small possibility the night was not yet over. Perhaps Justin would invite him inside…
"Um, they're probably home by now," Justin mumbled, as if he'd read Theo's mind.
Theo shrugged but covered it up by saying, "I'm sure they'll be dying to hear where you've been." There was no way he had enough left in him to meet Alicia Spinnet and her girlfriend. He just wanted some sign that he would be seeing Justin again and that he hadn't completely bollocksed it up.
"Yeah, I suppose," Justin said quietly. "Hopefully they are already in bed…"
He trailed off, and Theo waited for him to continue the thought, perhaps adding a invitation to the end, but he never did. Digging deep for a bit of courage, Theo stepped in line with Justin and hooked him arm within the other boy's. Justin didn't look at him but Theo swore the sides of his mouth pulled up slightly.
Too soon, they were in front of the shop. Justin pulled his arm out of Theo's and said, "This is mine."
Theo glanced up to see lights on in the windows above the salon. He steeled himself and took a step towards Justin.
"What are you doing next Friday?" he asked, not looking at Justin but pretending to be distracted by a group of giggling witches who were running down the street in the rain, not bothering to shield themselves.
"I'm working," Justin said, sounding a bit disappointed. "I work every Friday and Saturday."
Theo turned to look at him with curiosity. "Do you? What do you do?"
"I'm a waiter."
Theo chuckled, "Are you really?"
Justin frowned. "Yeah, why is that funny?"
Theo shrugged. "Usually that's the first thing someone asks on a date. They say 'So what do you do?' We managed to make it almost through the whole night without knowing what the other does for work."
The statement hung in the air for a moment as realization flickered in Justin's eyes. Theo thought back to what he said and realized he had called their evening a date. Buggering bollocksing hell.
"Oh, well, what do you do?" Justin said, his face once again impassive. There was no getting around it. Besides, Theo wasn't exactly ashamed of his work, it paid well and it was extremely easy. He just knew that Justin would be surprised.
"I work for the post office."
As expected, Justin laughed. "Really? The post office? Like the muggle post office?"
Theo nodded, averting his eyes once again. It was difficult to think about anything except how he would end this conversation.
"I really wish you would've told me that earlier. Now I have a million questions."
Theo smirked. "Save them for next time. What nights do you have off?"
"Um, this week I have off Tuesday and Wednesday."
"So Tuesday then?" Theo asked casually.
Justin nodded. "What did you want to do?"
Theo shrugged. "It'll be a surprise. I'll pick you up here at 7."
Justin simply said, "Ok," and looked away nervously. This was it. Either he needed to make a move or Justin was going to turn and walk inside and Theo would have to wait four whole days for another chance. Maybe in that time Justin would realize what a risk he was taking, even talking to Theodore Nott after everything he'd been through.
Theo inhaled slowly through his nose and placed his hand on Justin's shoulder to get his attention. Justin's big brown eyes snapped back to meet his own and Theo was reminded of a nervous puppy. The thought made him smile and he exhaled the breath he was holding before leaning down and pressing his lips against Justin's.
Justin didn't move. Theo began to second guess the entire evening as his lips sat expectantly against Justin's unmoving face. As he pulled away Justin caught his lower lip in between his slightly opened mouth and pressed against it. Theo felt every part of his body respond with triumphant pleasure but pulled away while he was still somewhat inconspicuously aroused.
"Til then," he said, giving Justin a genuine smile before Disapparting.
When Theo arrived at his flat he greeted Velouria happily before grabbing a record from his shelf and placing it delicately on the turntable. He then walked into the kitchen and poured himself a celebratory glass of wine. When he returned, Velouria flew over to to the table and picked up a small scroll before flying back towards him and dropping it in his hand. He turned the thing over for a moment before throwing it on the sofa.
"Not now, Velouria," he said, taking a sip of his wine and singing along with the record in his deep baritone. Velouria squawked and ruffled her feathers before flying over to perch on his shoulder. Theo collapsed on the sofa and kicked off his shoes then gave Velouria a little scratch on her head. The raven flew down onto his knee and tapped her beak against his glass curiously.
The song changed and Theo looked at the bird. "You know, he can play one of their songs on the guitar."
A/N 2: If you are just stumbling upon my writing through this story and would like to read more about Theo or Justin, I'd recommend checking out Not That Kind Of Love, which is a Hogwarts-era collection about Theo and Daphne's friendship. And of course, Justin is featured in Casualities of War, which is a big endeavor, but which has special guest appearances by Theo here and there, both with Justin and with other characters too. Hope you enjoyed it! Please review!
