Bless The Broken Road
BB Set after S2 'Judas On A Pole' She was going to hang onto the person she trusted. He was going to look after her forever. It was time for them to face up to their feelings.
Disclaimer: I have custody of my Muse and the plot but I humbly acknowledge that I have no jurisdiction over the characters themselves.
A/N:- Okay I've watched this episode again and again every day for the past week and my obsession for it still hasn't died. I think I need help.
If you make it to the end then you'll also notice my obsession for detail and how one line of crucial dialogue is usually accompanied by a paragraph of description and waffle of what the character's thinking. It's a weakness of mine to feel the need to share everything that I see in my head so I hereby admit that too much can also be a fault.
This is for all those who wanted to see some actual fluff and romance in my past fics.
'Bless The Broken Road – Rascal Flatts
Brennan sat in the booth in the farthest corner from the bar as if she wanted to physically distance herself from the celebrations in case her loneliness and depression was physically contagious. Zach deserved to have a good time, as did the others, and they shouldn't have to suffer her ruining the mood for them.
She had tried her best to be happy: the moment that Zach had interrupted whatever had been going on between her and Booth outside was the moment she had resolved to try and forget about the events of the past forty-eight hours – at least for the rest of today anyway.
She and Booth had pushed each other playfully through the door of the diner and he had laughed at her open-handed-pat-on-the-shoulder theory by placing both of his hands firmly on her shoulders and literally pushing her towards the bar into Angela and Hodgins. Then he had congratulated Zach on getting his doctorate sincerely but he purposefully made the pat on his shoulder drawn-out and exaggerated giving Brennan a wink and a cheeky smile. She had rolled her eyes and tried to give a disapproving look without a smile slipping out. Turned out Zach had appreciated the gesture, oblivious to its sarcastic nature, and had responded with 'Being a 'Doctor' doesn't sound quite as cool as having 'Agent' in front of your name but it's way above 'Professor' or 'Mister'." Everyone had laughed and then somehow between then and now, they had all broken off into their separate groups: Zach was trying to explain his dissertation to a bored looking guy who worked in the diner, Hodgins and Angela were sitting at the bar making cute little faces at each other whilst a way off Booth and Cam were talking.
As she observed them, she felt an all too familiar churning in her stomach. Angela would try to convince her it was jealousy but the most Brennan would admit to was envy. She wasn't jealous of the fact that Cam had Booth, she was simply envious that Cam had someone.
Today had been such a whirlwind. Sure, ever since she had started working with Booth she had been getting used to have long, hard days piled with stress and a mixture of emotions but today had been ….. it had been …… she couldn't even think of a word to describe it.
She dropped the spoon, which up to now she had been using to stir the murky black liquid round and round in her cup, and pressed her fingers against her eyelids, cupping her face.
She just couldn't get her mind around it. Since when had her own life, which had once been simply about bones and bodies, evolved into a Hollywood crime thriller where she finds herself analysing her own mother's body, meeting her estranged brother, finding out her father is still alive, seeing the evidence that her father is a murderer for herself, meeting her father impersonating someone else, seeing her father drive away and leave her again (this time with her brother too) and let's not forget the part to increase the cliché where she begins to realise that she's falling for her friend and partner who's been her saviour so many times. Oh and the small added tension of the fact that that said partner happens to be dating her boss. Fantastic.
Brennan uncovered her face as she heard Angela drop into the seat opposite her.
"I can't blame you for not being in the mood for celebrating." Angela said, throwing her friend a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry sweetie."
Brennan shook her head slightly and cupped her hands around her mug of coffee. "People keep saying that to me. It's not like it's your fault my father turned out to be a career criminal who murders, guts and then burns FBI Agents as a way of saying he loves me."
"Burning FBI Agents ….. What did he think of Booth?"
Brennan smiled slightly. "He and Booth …. Seemed to have an understanding. Booth insists that my father loves me and that in his world he is a very honourable man. I don't know what that means but Booth let my father and brother drive away without even attempting to shoot down the car ….. maybe I pleaded with him not to. If so that would have been an instinctive reaction because I can't say that after all my father's done he wouldn't have deserved whatever he had coming to him."
"Sweetie, you really think it would even cross Booth's mind to try and shoot down a member of your family?"
"Why not? Booth's FBI and my father's a murderer. No matter who's the criminal, Booth takes his job very seriously." Brennan frowned.
"Brennan whether you like your father or not he's your father as in related to you. Booth would never hurt anyone related to you unless it was your life in danger. Besides shooting your father would only have meant bad things for Russ and Booth only wanted what's best for your brother which is why he had 'a talk' with him in the first place." Angela told her.
"What?" Brennan asked before it dawned. "That's why Booth was with him when Russ got shot at. He never told me why he was having a talk with my brother behind my back ……. Guess that's not important now. Russ is never going to be able to be there for Amy and her children anyway." She sighed.
"You think I did the right thing giving Zach a job at the Jeffersonian?"
"What?" Booth asked, rubbing his chin distractedly as he stopped staring outside at the spot where he and Brennan had been standing and tried to feign interest in what Cam had been saying.
Cam gave him a hard look. "I was just asking you what you thought of me giving Zach a job?"
"Well, the way I see it, you didn't really have much of a choice."
"What?"
"If you didn't give him the job then you may as well have fired the others: one for all, all for one." Booth told her, picking at the plate of fries that had been placed on the bar in front of where they stood.
Cam nodded slightly. Angela had made that point painfully clear to her at the beginning and although she liked to think that things had progressed since then, she was under no allusions that she had been allowed into their elite group. "And are you one of these musketeers?"
Booth turned slightly and rested his back against the bar. He glanced over at Zach and Hodgins joking around and then his eyes came to rest on Angela and Brennan.
Looking at her even from over here, he could see her sadness and his chest tightened. It was a moment of stark realisation but he became suddenly so aware of what was going on between him and her and how their lives had become so close, so in sync. He thought back to the moment earlier. She'd looked so lost, alone and empty-eyed as they sat on the bench together after seeing her father and brother drive off and he would have given anything to find the courage to cross the line and give her the comfort she needed. Then as they stood outside the diner, she wore that same look and this time he couldn't hold back: he touched her, on the face, gently forcing her to look at him and as he made that connection, staring into her eyes, he felt a bond stronger than ever before. Sure they'd had 'moments' before but none as strong and powerful as the one today. It felt like a fire had been ignited between them and Booth had a feeling that if Zach hadn't tapped on the window at that moment, he would have leant forward and kissed her and for some reason he wouldn't have felt bad for doing so even if it was in front of the Squints and half of DC. And Cam. He would've done it and thought of the consequences later just because, in that moment, all that mattered was Temperance Brennan and him.
Blinking, he realised he had been staring at her for some time and still hadn't answered Cam's question. He tore his eyes away from the forensic anthropologist and turned back round.
"I sure as hell hope so." He said.
Cam stared at him for awhile without saying anything and Booth couldn't help but notice a look of resignation cross her face. "Seeley, you remember a few months ago when you said that you were 'with Bones all the way'?"
Booth nodded, wondering where this was leading. "Sure, she's my partner."
"Well, I think it's become quite clear to everyone except you and Dr Brennan that you want to be with her all the way, every way."
"Cam ….." Booth started, shifting his weight from foot to foot, scratching the back of his head.
The pathologist interrupted him though, touching his arm. "I just can't compete anymore. It's hard enough fighting Dr Brennan for the respect of Angela and Hodgins….. I can't fight her for you as well."
Booth didn't know what to say but after what had been running through his head all day, there was no way he could look Cam in the face and say that she was wrong.
"It's okay Seeley." Cam said genuinely. "You and I ….. we were just passing time. What you and Dr Brennan have – and will have – will be so much more. You should just stop delaying the inevitable."
Booth looked at her. He never imagined her to be so understanding and so ambivalent to the whole thing. He had a sneaky feeling that she had been thinking this through for quite sometime. "I didn't want things between us to turn out like this …." He started.
"I know." Cam said, touching his hand. There was silence between them for a minute as they looked at each other in understanding. "I've got to get going. I'll see you around." She said before walking away giving him a final smile.
Booth watched her go and congratulate Zach again before saying goodbye to everyone and then leaving. He heaved a big sigh before seating himself on a stool and started to slowly finish off the plate of fries.
"I've got news!" Hodgins said, sliding into the booth next to Angela, excitement radiating off of him.
"Erm, girl talk going on here." Angela said, giving him a pointed look.
"Did you not hear the part where I said I got news?" Jack Hodgins replied, shaking Angela playfully by the shoulders.
"It's okay." Brennan said, pushing her now empty cup away from her and leaning back in her seat waiting for the eccentric scientist to continue.
"Cam and Booth just broke up." He blurted.
Angela eyes widened and Hodgins finally had her full attention. "What? How do you know?"
"I overheard snippets of their conversation and I'm not exactly as skilled as you but anyone could tell from reading their body language." Hodgins said, talking quickly, eager to share the gossip with his partner.
"Wow. Did you hear why?" Angela questioned. Hodgins shook his head.
Brennan dropped her gaze to the table as she slowly tuned out Angela's interrogation of Hodgins. Rationally, she shouldn't feel anything except maybe mild interest at this new development. After all whatever – or whoever – Booth did in his spare time didn't affect her, did it? But she did feel something. She couldn't describe it ….. was it relief? Realisation? Trepidation? Did it mean she hadn't imagined the connection she and Booth had outside the diner earlier? Were the two events even related? She had so many things running through her head, trying to analyse everything …….. the trouble was that whatever was happening between Booth and her, however she was feeling now …. She had nothing to compare it to, no past experience on which to base her analysis. She shook herself out of her reverie.
"This is a good thing right Brennan?" Angela asked.
Brennan shrugged. "I'm guessing it's probably not a good thing for Booth or Cam and it's nothing to do with us."
"Sweetie, it might be nothing to do with us but it's everything to do with you." Angela told her.
"Ange …." Brennan started, ready to go through the same dialogue that she and Angela always had every time Booth was mentioned in that context. The only difference was that this time she wouldn't be able to be fully convincing when she said she didn't see him as anything more than a friend and partner.
"Brennan, just listen to your heart and not your head for once." Angela said, her eyes pleading her friend to listen to what she was saying.
Brennan didn't get a chance to say anything before Zach came bounding over and pulled Hodgins away to talk about some crazed experiment they were planning.
Brennan looked over at the bar where Booth was just sitting there staring into space.
"I'm just going to the restroom." Angela announced, deciding to give her friend some space to digest this new development.
Brennan nodded and then went back to staring at the table.
Booth wrung his hands together nervously. He felt like he was gearing up to go and interrogate a suspect and he was deciding what angle to take: pick the right one and the suspect will break down and tell you everything, pick the wrong one and he ends up being wise to what you're playing at and has time to concoct a plan to escape justice. The thing was in this case, there was so much more at stake: if he started walking down that path and she shot him down utterly and completely then everything they had would be ripped to shreds. He'd stopped gambling a long time ago but now he was going to have to hedge his bets on one outcome. He wiped his mouth with a napkin, downed the rest of his soda and headed over to the other side of the diner.
Brennan felt him approach even before he had sat down next to her in the booth, cutting off her escape route. She wondered what the protocol was: did she offer him her sympathy for his recent break up or did she pretend like she knew nothing? She thought about what Angela would do in the situation.
"How are you holding up?" he asked.
Brennan looked at him briefly before looking away again. "I haven't needed them for fifteen years of my life, I'm not going to fall apart now." She shrugged.
Booth nodded slightly, his eyes fixed on his hands.
"Booth I didn't say anything before but thank you …….. for not shooting at my father." Brennan said earnestly.
Booth thought about that moment he had raised his gun and announced himself before letting them drive away freely soon after. In that moment when he had lowered his gun, he had gone against every engrained FBI instinct in his body and instinct of a different kind had kicked in. It wasn't the right thing to do by the law but it was the right thing to do for her.
"Damn gun wasn't loaded anyway." He muttered with a grin. Brennan laughed lightly with him knowing that he was lying.
A barrier of awkward silence fell between them as they both stared straight ahead and not at each other. Brennan willed for Angela to return from the restrooms but she had a sneaky feeling that her friend wouldn't come and save her now.
Booth shifted in his seat until he was turned towards her. He was glad that he was pinning her in because he was pretty sure that if he wasn't, she would try to run in a few minutes.
"Bones I need to apologise to you." He said suddenly.
Brennan looked at him with interest. Maybe this is why he'd looked so uncomfortable for the past few minutes.
"I've been keeping something from you for awhile now and partners shouldn't keep anything from each other right?"
She mirrored his action and twisted to face him, her back against the wall, their knees touching. "Booth, I know it was you who took the last doughnut as soon as my back was turned." She said, the corners of her mouth twitching.
He took a deep breath and acknowledged her joke before things turned serious between them again. Booth vaguely considered the option that if he walked away now, things between them wouldn't need to change but he knew deep down that today had been proof enough that things were already different with them.
He reached across and took her right hand and placed it the palm of his left. Her hand was cold and he squeezed it gently. He could see the dark bruise on her wrist which had formed when she had tried to pull against the handcuffs. He rubbed it softly with his thumb and he felt her involuntarily shiver at his touch. Knowing he was just putting off making eye contact with her, he looked up, ready to gauge her reaction.
Her instinct reaction would have been to pull her hand away with a sharp 'What are you doing Booth?'. That was, in fact, what the old Temperance Brennan would have done a year ago but things had changed since then and truth be told, the question would have been void since they both knew what he was doing. She stared him with the wide-eyed look like she had earlier on the bench when what was happening was incomprehensible to the rational part of her brain. She didn't say anything and she wouldn't have been able to even if she had wanted to.
"For a long time now you've become more than just a partner to me." Booth started. "It's been awhile since you've been just a friend to me and even longer since I thought of you as nothing more than a work colleague. I've tried to fight it and ignore it but it hasn't worked and the truth is I'm not sure I want it to. I don't want to fight it anymore Bones, I don't want to go home at night and just wonder constantly what you're up to, I don't want to feel jealous every time I watch another guy look at you, I don't want to feel like committing murder every time you get hurt." Booth paused, swallowing hard. "I know how hard it is for you to let anyone in but you have got to believe me when I say that I will never, ever leave you, you will never have to watch the back of my SUV disappear around the corner because I'll never ever leave you alone again."
Brennan just stared at him. She tried to think rational thoughts but it was like grasping at straws. All she could think of was how Angela would describe this as her 'romantic comedy' moment. She wasn't actually sure what that meant but if that included not being able to think straight, unable to speak or breathe and having a guy in front of her who looked ready to move the earth and realign the stars for her then she was pretty sure she was having her moment right now.
"I'm never going to leave you because I care about you so much - more than you would say is rationally possible - and I will always be here to look after you because I know you'll have my back as I do so." Booth said, smiling faintly, stroking the back of her hand lightly. "I know you've had other things to deal with today but this is something we can't keep lying to ourselves about."
Brennan looked at him and it scared her how irrational he had managed to make her feel. She knew he meant every word and her heart fluttered at how open he was being ……… and that's when she knew how much he meant to her. "Booth we can't do this." She said, trying to remove her hand but failing to do so. "You know I find it hard to believe in 'happy ever after's with everything we see every day and the thing is, if this doesn't work out, I'll lose you ………………….. and I don't think I could live with that." She finished, her voice barely above a whisper as she struggled to keep her emotions in check.
Booth looked deeply into her eyes, noticing how they changed from blue to grey and then back again with every passing minute. "It will work. And no matter what, you will always have me." He said firmly. "I promise Temperance."
The use of her first name sent shivers down her spine. She wanted to believe him, she wanted so much to believe in the future of always having him there and never having to be alone again but she shook her head. "You can't promise that. No one can promise that."
"Yes I can." Booth said, tugging on her hand gently. "I've kept all the promises I've made before haven't I? Besides your father told me to take care of you and that's what I'm going to do …… because let's face it, he's not a guy I want to piss off, right?" He said flashing her a quick grin.
Brennan felt her heart warm at Booth's ability to crack a joke even if he had just put his heart on the line. She looked into his deep soulful eyes and for the first time allowing herself to stray for a minute. If she believed in that stuff then she guessed that he really was her guardian angel – she certainly owed the fact that she was even able to sit here feeling like she was high to him. She thought about the last thing her father had said 'If you find someone you can trust, you hang onto them.' She trusted Booth with her life and there was no higher strength of trust than that. She needed him. Take Russ and her father out of her life and she'll still be standing but take Booth out of the picture and …… She had never needed anyone in her life before …… until she had met Seeley Booth.
"Why do you want to be with me Booth? I can't give you the things other girls can. I'm socially awkward. I argue with you on nearly everything. I'm stubborn and obstinate, always having to be right. I'm a neat freak who insists on order and organisation. I speak before I think things through and I can't get through a day without insulting someone. I've never had a serious relationship in my life and just about everyone agrees that I'm emotionally deficient. Oh and did I mention that I'm a workaholic who doesn't even own a TV ……………." She trailed off and looked back at Booth. He was smiling at her somewhat dreamingly like everything she had just said had passed right over his head. "What are you even doing still here?"
Booth leant forward, his head millimetres away from hers, his hand on her chin like it had been earlier. Her breath caught in her throat.
Reality and fantasy slowly began to collide.
He kissed her softly, letting her respond, which she did automatically, until the perfect moment was complete. Her eyes opened and Booth still wasn't sure what he could read in them. "Believe in us." He said, his voice low, unashamedly containing a hint of pleading.
Brennan didn't have a chance to say anything before there was a loud shout from the bar. Zach was standing there, his back to them, looking annoyed at Hodgins and Angela who were laughing incredibly hard. He hurried past them towards Booth and Brennan and slipped into the seats opposite them, blissfully ignorant to the tension between them. Booth forced himself to look away from Brennan, the distraction causing the moment to pass.
"Angela and Hodgins think it's funny to go through some ritual hazing now that I'm officially a part of the team." Zach complained.
Before Brennan could offer some words of comfort, Angela sat down next to Zach, pulling him into a forced cuddle. "You know we love you don't you little Zachary?"
Hodgins joined them carrying five glasses of thousand-dollar champagne from his own private store that looked oddly out of place in the diner. "A toast." He announced, sitting down next to Booth.
Booth took a glass of wine, resisting the urge to look at Brennan and try to see what she was thinking.
"Here's to Zach on getting his Doctorate, to Angela for being an amazing girlfriend, to Booth for getting his job back and always being there to save the day and to Dr Brennan for being the best boss and friend anyone could want." Hodgins said. "And to me for supplying the most expensive alcohol you guys will ever drink in your life." The others laughed. "No, seriously, here's to all of us ready to take on the world in the next stage of our life."
They raised their glasses and were clinking them together when Booth felt Brennan's hand slip into his and link his fingers with hers.
She believed.
A/N:- There's some ideas I have that I like and start writing but never get anywhere near to finishing. There's some things I write just to get out of my system and when I reread them I'm half-happy with the end product. Then there's some fics I finish writing and I'm actually quite proud of. This, thankfully, is the latter.
I appreciate that a lot of you have requested additional chapters to my one-shots so I tentatively give you hope that there could be a sequel to this perhaps. I have the ideas for it anyway. The tendency is just to get sidetracked by other projects unfortunately. Anyway, enough of my waffle for now!
As always, feedback is like ambrosia for my Muse.
