The sky is filled with darkness with only the dim orange glow of the faded streetlamps to guide me to the place I once called home. I had it all once friends, family the perfect life to most but I wanted more I wanted to make something of myself and become a star but now I'm washed up, forgotten with only the silent stars to here my depressing thoughts as my supposed journey to happiness continues.
I don't expect them to forgive me, why should they I was only thinking about what I wanted and not the effect it would have on my boys my beautiful boys that I miss more and more every day. What kind of mother am I leaving them when they were too young to understand why or where I was going. They'd be all grown up now maybe even starting families of there own, I'm sure there father taught them well and how not to be the deadbeat parent I became Mac would be 25 now oh how I would have loved to see him grow up into the strong, noble tom he would have become. Munk would be 22 he was such a playful kit but I know leaving would have crushed him deeply and Tugger my baby Tugs who I was selfish enough to leave as a new born he'd be 21.
Then there's Deuteronomy the tom I once loved and now I realised I never stopped loving he gave me everything friends, family and a home but now were back at the start where I'm better off dead in the gutter then attempt to regain there trust but here I am at the junkyard gate wanting nothing more than to start a new life without giving in.
I am as there song says Grizabella the Glamor cat...
