Disclaimer: Private Practice is property of ABC and Shondaland. No infringement intended.

A/N: Okay, okay … I had to do it. (not to mention that y'all talked me into it) I'm supposed to be studying for my stats class … but this seemed more fun. More HOTCOP and Addison.

Timeline: Events in this story take place before, on or around The Way We Were AND follow in line with my other story ... shining knight. So it's best if you read that first.

Summary: Let's just stick all our problems in the freezer and pull them out when it's more convenient to deal with 'em.

The horrible things are … things that need to be said.

The backdrop of the pub was a welcomed change. A haze of cigarette smoke hung heavily in the air and peanut shells covered the worn wooden floors. The dark décor hid the years of dirt and neglect, but the atmosphere was inviting and warm. This wasn't a martini bar or clean posh billiards club that was her normal fare. It wasn't that kind of night.

At times the cheers from those watching the football game over-rode the murmur of voices or the laughter from the bar. The dark room held the aroma of food and sticky drinks. The sound of pool balls being cracked across a table pattered through the air. A jukebox pounded out a classic rock beat.

Only beer and hard liquor were served at this joint. Drinks came in chubby glasses that hadn't seen the inside of a dishwasher in years. The clientele had probably been there as long and newcomers were treated at first with a harsh cold stare. It was no where Addison would have gone alone. The place was so different from where her gang at the practice hung out, but not so alien from Joes in Seattle. Tonight it was home for Kevin, Addison and a couple of his friends.

"Are you playing slop or you going to call it?" Leslie prompted his partner. He had taken the break shot and the balls were scattered over the table.

Kevin eyed Addison standing next to him, hugging her cue. It was one of the few times he had seen her dressed down … in a pair of low rise jeans and plain white v-neck tee. She wasn't even wearing heels, opting instead for some casual black leather boots. She looked relaxed and really comfortable. "You're not a shark in disguise are you?" he asked picking up his bottle of beer.

"I can thread a needle, not put a ball in a hole," Addison replied with a sly grin. The comment garnered laughter from Leslie and Kent, Kevin's work buddies.

"Okay, doc, I see how you are," Kent commented. "Slop it is then. Addison you're up."

Addison's eyes opened wide and she looked at the three men nervously. "Okay," she replied slowly. "You do realized that I haven't played since … college right?"

"They have pool tables at Harvard?" Leslie asked taking a swig of his beer.

"Ha, ha," Addison mocked as she walked slowly around the table sizing up her shot. I can do this, she thought leaning over the table to aim. If I can perform surgery on a baby before it's born, I can hit a ball with this stick into a hole, she tried to convince herself. She eyed the shot one final time and tapped the cue ball with the stick. The white ball traveled across the table, hitting the stripe and knocking it into the hole. Thank god, Addison thought standing up with a victorious smirk on her face.

"Uh oh!! Hustler!" Kent announced loudly to the entire bar. "Nelson you're holding out on us?"

Kevin plastered a cheesy grin on his face. That's my girl, he thought sharing a wink with Addison from the other side of the table. This is going to be a great night after all.

!...

Two hours and four games of pool later, Addison had retired from her game and was watching the boys play nine ball amongst themselves. The waitress brought a new round of drinks and she reveled in the comfort of being out with three guys that didn't give a shit about patients, office drama or other people's business.

Addison exhaled slowly before picking up a fresh bottle of beer. Just as she was taking a drink, her blackberry buzzed on the table top. She barely even flinched. I'm not going to look, she told herself glancing in Kevin's direction. It might be the answering service, or Cooper, or Nay, she tried to reason. Or maybe, just maybe Archer or Derek, she added on a whim. In her gut, she knew exactly who it was and that was no body she wanted to talk too. Not tonight, not ever.

"When are you going to let me answer that?" Kevin's voice whispered in her ear.

Addison turned her head toward his face just as he leaned over her to pick up the phone. "Is it?" she asked praying that it was someone other than Noah.

"Nobody," Kevin replied shoving the phone in his pocket. "Leslie wants to know if you want to go bowling," he said grabbing his drink.

"Right now?" Addison replied not taking her eyes off his face.

"No, in a couple nights," Kevin said, setting his drink down on the table. "You aren't afraid of breaking a nail are you?"

"No," Addison replied with a sarcastic tone.

"Is that a yes?" Kevin remarked not skipping a beat with her.

"Yeah," Addison replied. "But I'm…"

Kevin put his finger over her lips to shush her. "Don't say it Addison Montgomery. It's not a competition. It's you and I hanging out with Leslie and Sheila for some burgers and pins." He slid his hand over her cheek and trailed his fingertips down the side of her face.

Addison held his gaze and reached up to rest her hand on his wrist. "Will you throw my blackberry in the trash?" she asked quietly.

"I'll shoot it with my gun," he replied.

!...

A great start to any day is breakfast with a hot guy. And hot coffee. Hot coffee perfectly seasoned with cream and sugar. Only sex would be better, but we're not there yet, Addison thought as she walked into the building on Ocean Drive and headed toward the elevator. The door opened as soon as she hit the button and she stepped in the car. The doors were nearly closed when a slender brown arm blocked it.

Addison watched as Naomi jumped in at the last second and hit the button for four. "Morning," she mumbled at her friend.

"Morning," Naomi replied with a smile.

That was fake, Addison thought feeling really really awkward. "Cute shoes," she commented just to fill the air.

"Thanks," Naomi said looking downward. "Yours are too." Naomi glanced sideways at Addison and smiled.

Fake and forced, Addison noted thinking back to something Kevin had said at breakfast when they were people watching. It was an exercise he forced her to participate in, watching the people around them and making up stories about who they were. Addison had thought it was stupid at first, but over the weeks came to understand that it helped her calm down and not think about work. Except when I try to speculate on what ailments they have, she reminded herself with a smirk.

"How's it going on four?" Addison asked not really wanting to know the answer.

"Good. I redecorated," Naomi said. "And it's good."

"Great," Addison mumbled, wondering why the elevator was suddenly taking so long. And why I didn't kiss Kevin after breakfast.

"Hey whatever happened with that guy?" Naomi blurted out.

Panic rattled through Addison's veins. Does she know about Kevin? Of course she knows about Kevin. He was at the hospital for crisssake, Addison's mind raced. "Ah what guy?"

"The heart guy. The married one that you were into with the pregnant wife," Naomi replied. "What was his name?"

Just hearing the words aloud made Addison realize how dumb even thinking a relationship with him would have ever worked out. How many more things could be against me? she wondered. It was all complicated and wrong. So, so morally wrong.

"Noah," she finally said staring up at the numbers on the elevator car.

"Noah, yeah," Naomi said nodding her head. "How did that work out?"

"I ah," Addison stammered stopping herself from saying too much to this woman that left her life. She wanted to tell Naomi everything, but she didn't want to be judged. She had spilled her guts to Naomi in the beginning. In the end, Naomi dumped her … just like Derek did. Played her just like Noah did. She didn't deserve to know anything more than nothing. "I ah… I did the right thing."

"That's good," Naomi said slowly.

The doors of the car opened before Naomi had opportunity to say another word. Addison watched her step into the hall and held her breath until the doors closed again.

.!....

"Have you been downstairs lately?" Addison asked Sam as she walked into the kitchen.

"No," he replied as he messed with his breakfast. "I don't make it a practice to check out the competition."

"Huh," Addison grunted as she pulled a jug of juice from the fridge.

Sam could tell that his response wasn't what she wanted to hear. "Why?"

"It's decorated just like our office," Addison replied with an indignant tone. "What, she goes downstairs and remakes their office to match …! Ugh, I don't know what she's trying to prove!" Addison threw her hands up just as Cooper walked into the kitchen. "I'm done," she whispered just as Cooper went off on a tirade.

"Addison, will you tell the man that married his college sweetheart that the best way to get over a breakup is to throw yourself into another relationship. Drunken impulsive rebound hiring! That's what we need to do!" Cooper rambled as he stuffed a strawberry in his mouth. When neither Sam nor Addison said anything he looked up and glanced at both of them. "What?"

"We made a pack," Addison said staring at the bottle of green stuff.

"Addison and I are going to ignore our problems," Sam said flatly.

"We're not going to talk or think about them at work and in some cases never," she said firmly. "That just screws things up."

"We're going to be strong, in denial, but strong," Sam said staring intently into his cereal.

"Strong," Addison agreed.

Cooper stared at both of them and shook his head. "Like that's healthy," he mumbled walking out of the kitchen.

!...

TBC – yea … for real this time.