I knew she wouldn't agree, but it still hurt.

I guess I should be more used to the pain now, with everything that happened with Rose, but it was different this time.

Rose was a beautiful badass. She was never afraid to say what she meant and take on anyone who tried to tell her different, even if they held the right answer. I'd never stood a chance of opposing her magnetic force. That is, until she was once again obsessed with the Russian "god". Or, more likely, had never stopped being so the first time.

Regardless of the fact I knew she wasn't in love with me, I still fell hard. I feel a bit of guilt with what I said to her after she was shot, but not too much. She'd hurt me too, and I doubt her guilt goes as deep as it should. Rose had gotten what she wanted. That's all that mattered.

It had taken me a bit to recover. I didn't think I ever really would, but I'd found help. The first savior was one I'd never thought I would call by such a name. Abe Mazur. He certainly lived up to his own nickname of the snake, but he knew what he was doing when he sent me to Palm Springs. There I had found my second savior.

Sydney Sage.

Sage had saved me more times than she'll ever know. She doesn't just make me a better person. She makes me want and enjoy being a better person. In making me do so, she also unknowingly made me fall in love with her.

I know I shouldn't have kissed her. Hell, that was probably the main reason I scared her off, but I couldn't help it. I've wanted to do much more than simply kiss her for days, weeks even.

But I drove her away. I'd known she wouldn't agree to love me back, but I couldn't help but try. I'd had no other choice. Damn you love and your complicated extensions of obvious misinterpretations! I think she's avoiding me now. I can't blame her, but it still hurts.

Love always hurts.