This is my first fan fiction, so don't be too cruel if you hate it~ (:
Disclaimer: I don't own hetalia!
Warning: If you don't have a dirty mind, please don't read! :D
One day, France was bored, so he decided he was gonna go to England's house and belly button rape him.
So he strolled over, practicing his creepy-french-rapist laugh so he could have it down perfectly when he stuck his finger in England's belly button.
France let himself into England's house. Hopefully,France thought I can sneak up on him with his back turned so I can get my finger in before he realizes whats happening! Ah, there's his voice...in the kitchen!
Wait...is there another voice I hear? Oh! I forgot about that little child living with him now-a-days. What's his name...Amerique? Yeah. That's that kid's name.
And that is when France heard something he should not have.
"NO, no, no! America! You're doing it all wrong. You have to be much harder than that. You're being completely ineffective right now!"
France gasped from outside the door. He heard the table squeaking. No, that's way too scandalous for someone likeEngland! He would never molest a child...!
But then France decided, he didn't care, and put his ear to the door to listen to more of the naughty conversation. Then, he went a step farther, and recorded the whole thing on his cell phone. Oh hoh hoh! I'll save this for later…
"I'm trying, Artie! But it's hurting my arm. And I don't like holding this! It's all wet, and squishy!
"Well, you're going to have to get over it if you want to stay here!"
"That's not fair!"
Oh my, Angleterre is making Amerique do dirty things with him to stay at his place! Angleterre! You naughty thing!
"Sorry, America, but that's not going to cut it. Maybe if I showed you how to do it, it would be easier for you to. Here, let me have it. Okay. Now you hold it like this.-" (Oh hoh hoh!) "and move it around like this," (table squeaks louder) "you'll get the job done. Wanna try again, America?"
"Yeah! You were awesome at it! You did it like a true Hero! I only hope to be that good at it one day! Which I probably will, considering I'm gonna be a hero like you, Artie! Ah ha ha!"
"Oh, America, you're too kind. Here, take this. Now try again..."
"Yes, America! Well done! Ohhh, yes! Excellent, maybe even as good as I am!
France couldn't take it any longer. He had to see it for himself. He burst in the kitchen AND...
Was very disappointed. All they were doing was washing the table with a sponge.
"WANKER!What are you doing here?" England demanded.
"Well, I was coming over here to belly button rape you when I heard this.
France played his audio of the seemingly-but-not-really-dirty conversation.
"You disgusting frog! I was showing America how to clean the grease off of a table! He needs to know if he's going to be staying here..."
"Well, it still sounds dirty and I'll be sure to play it for everyone at the next world meeting. Ta ta, hoh hoh hoh!"
"Dammit, get back here frog. I'll do it." With a flash, France was back in the kitchen with a seriously sick perverted look on his face. Poor, confused America was looking up at the adults, his face perplexed.
"Go to my room, America. I'll talk to you later."
America thought of staying and throwing a fit, but decided against it since he loved Artie so much.
"Now that he is out of the way...Lift up your shirt Angleterre :)"
Seeing there was no other way to keep his reputation, and not have a new one as a child-molester, England did as was told. France had a jolly good time raping his bellybutton, and left after erasing the audio.
Little did England know, France sent it to everyone before erasing it.
:)
Reviews, maybe! :D
