A/N: Dual POV. Heavy on exposition, lots of angst, with some mild suicidal ideation. Rating may change.
"Like I would ever accept help from someone like you," she sniped, brusquely turning her head to the side and sticking up her chin.
His eyes opened wide, palms lifted in a gesture of peace, as he slowly backed away from her. She'd only barely moved in, and had already started offending the neighbors. Coming here was supposed to be a fresh start, and her bad habit was going to screw everything up. Sighing, she trudged the rest of the way up the stairs to the fourth floor, unceremoniously dumping the heavy box inside the open door of her new apartment.
This place was finally, fully hers, she realized, shutting the door and collapsing onto the luxury mattress she'd painstakingly selected only days before. Soft memory foam cushioned her body, supporting her head and spine, as she let herself sink into its perfect firmness. If only everything could be so simple, she sulked, beginning to worry that this whole thing had been a mistake.
It would've been theoretically possible for her to simply remain in her apartment, never going outside. Maybe she could persuade her supervisor into letting her telecommute, and have all her meals delivered. The balcony would provide her with ample enough fresh air and sunlight to stay healthy, and she could get a treadmill for exercise. As long as her mouth was going to insult and ostracize every person she came into contact with, Ririchiyo was better off hiding from the world.
0
She had the nightmare again, waking up drenched in sweat, her long hair plastered to the sheets. 4:17 am, she sighed, looking at the clock, instantly knowing that she wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. I'll just have an extra cup of coffee, she groused, stripping the bed and getting into the shower.
The water pelted against her body like a thousand tiny daggers, burning away the filth she could never scrub off. She stood under the stream, letting it beat down upon her, until her skin was red and sore. She knew she was being careless, but it was the only thing that seemed to help. It helped her forget; to feel like she was herself again, whoever that was. Maybe she would never really know. Part of her didn't want to.
0
The walk was uneventful, her piercing, forward glare enough to deter anyone who might've otherwise approached her, and luckily, everyone else was too busy to care. It was better than having to take the subway, she noted, working her way through the endless throngs of people that made her feel simultaneously suffocated, and hopelessly alone. It was so odd, that in a city always bustling with life, there was a profound sense of loneliness beneath the surface.
She'd read about it in a book somewhere, no doubt idly flipping through its pages while waiting for something - she seemed to spend her whole life waiting, before she came here. A large number of people, existing in such confined spaces, would wall themselves off in order to not be overwhelmed. They were like her in that way, having a buffer of protection, but instead of keeping to herself, she lashed out. Even here, she didn't fit in.
0
She sunk down into the chair in her lab, head dropping onto the cold, smooth surface of the worktable. Their greetings had been so friendly, but she hadn't been able to bite her tongue, and they probably wouldn't say hello to her tomorrow, which left her feeling sad and relieved at the same time. It wasn't that she didn't want to talk to them, but just that she couldn't. The difficulties in navigating social situations were simply beyond her limited capabilities.
Time passed quickly, once she'd begun, her mind focused and free of distraction. There were so many new items to catalogue, meticulously notating every last defect she could find, as she painstakingly looked them over. Even weathered with age and abuse, the volumes were beautiful to her, containing entire worlds of thought within their pages. Ririchiyo had always preferred books to people, maybe because instead of inflicting wounds, she could mend them.
She sat alone at lunch, having called the girls who came up to her 'cheap', and then silently admonished herself during the rest of the meal. Soon enough, word of her antics would spread, and no one would bother trying to talk to her. Then, at least, she could get through her days in peace, not having to worry about hurting others. That was, she told herself, what she really wanted.
0
Deep in thought, she didn't notice the car speeding towards her until its horn blared loudly in her ears. She stood dumbstruck, paralyzed by the headlights flooding her field of vision. Suddenly, strong arms wrapped around her, pulling her from danger just as she braced herself for impact, and some part of her almost felt disappointed. Her eyes locked onto his, peculiar blue and gold seeming to bore into her, as time came to a halt for one perfect moment, before reality crashed over her like a wave.
"Hmph, am I supposed to thank you now?"
"No," he paused, a mirthless smiling curving up the edges of his mouth. "You needn't waste such words on me."
"Wh-wh-what?" she bleated, stunned both by his response and his demeanor.
"Please be more careful in the future, miss," he told her, bowing politely before turning to walk away.
She stared at his back until he disappeared from view, rooted to the place where he'd left her. Her vile tongue couldn't even spare him a single kind word, the man who'd just saved her life. What more proof did she need that she was unfit to be around other people? Still, that didn't stop the twinge of sorrow, thinking that she'd never see him again.
His face burned itself into her mind, those haunting eyes filled with inscrutable emotion, hiding a pain that felt very familiar to her. It was silly, she knew, any perceived connection only the result of circumstance and adrenaline. Feelings, however, were impervious to logic and reason; so attempting to explain them away would prove fruitless. That didn't mean she wouldn't still try, though, desperate to ignore the violent pounding in her chest.
He stared at the ceiling, eyes trained on the blades of the fan and their endless revolution. Beyond the walls of his empty apartment, he could hear the faint noises of the never silent city, a persistently sharp contrast to the quiet in his mind. He had no wish to be part of it, not really, offering him only a brief respite from the bitter emptiness threatening to eat him alive.
His phone lit up at regular intervals, alerting him of the messages he'd much rather ignore, in favor of gazing mindlessly overhead. He focused intently on his breathing, in, out, the steady rhythm of his heart assuring him that he was not dead. His ears perked up, shifting to the comforting whir sending a steady stream of cool air to prickle the bare skin of his chest. He keenly observed the sensation, recording each minute detail and storing it for later use.
Soushi's mind housed a database of such experiences, recalling each from memory as needed. It was second nature at this point, a habit born of necessity. His ability to read people and their reactions had been his saving grace, earning him an impressive reputation. To him it meant nothing, merely a means to an end, and a way to buy his freedom.
He tried to stop, once he'd paid his debt, but there was nothing else to occupy his time with. Outside of work he had no hobbies, no interests to dedicate himself to; so what was left for him but to go back? With open arms his return was welcomed, his old master's favorite tool, and he supposed that this pathetic existence was his life, now and forever.
0
Z
Don't leave me hanging, Sou, are you taking the job or not?
S
Please give me a few days to think it over.
Z
Sssoooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuu
That means no :( :( :(
He saw the girl crossing into the street, his well-trained body reacting without thinking. It had been nothing, merely a reflex, until her violet eyes froze him in place. Everything else around him faded, the world becoming a distant memory, as his mind fixated solely on her. It was a thing he'd never experienced before, an innate pull overwhelming his senses, and then she spoke.
"Hmph, am I supposed to thank you now?" she scoffed dismissively, a stark deviation from the reaction he'd been expecting.
"No," he admitted. "You needn't waste such words on me."
"Wh-wh-what?" she stammered, large eyes growing wider, and softer.
"Please be more careful in the future, miss."
He turned and fled immediately after bowing, needing to escape the oppressive weight suddenly bearing down on his chest, making it difficult to breathe. This was not a feeling he was familiar with, not yet catalogued in his memory bank, and it was extraordinarily unpleasant. Something must've been wrong with him, some kind of sickness - no other explanation made sense. All he knew was that that girl and her violet eyes were more dangerous than any opponent he'd ever faced.
He stood in the alley, leaning against a brick building, as he tried and failed to recall a number of sensations that would calm him down. Nothing could replace the ache he felt, the hollow space inside him growing teeth and claws, as physical pain tore at his insides. Those eyes taunted him, drawing him in; shining a light into the secret places inside himself he desperately wished to keep hidden. They stripped away his protective layers of camouflage, leaving nothing but a beaten, broken child, void of any self.
S
I'll do it.
Z
I knew you'd come around, Sou.
You won't regret this!
But he already regretted it, all of it, as much as he was capable of without a conscience. The blood already staining his hands could never be washed away, and one more death meant nothing. Still, there was a discomfort in his abdomen, a pit forming and tangling inside him, telling him that it was all a mistake. Maybe this would be the one that got him killed, and maybe that was for the best. He'd face whatever waited head on, welcoming the consequences of his actions.
0
There was a knock at his door, a package delivery he wasn't expecting. With a hand reaching for his gun, he slowly turned the handle, eyes rapidly absorbing the information before him and determining that there was no threat.
"It's for the apartment across the hall," he observed, smiling politely to the courier.
"What? Oh, oh!" he blanched, "my apologies, sir."
"It's quite alright," he assured.
He remained quietly perched at the door, watching the exchange because he felt the need to be cautious. What he saw shocked him, left him unable to turn away, those features unforgettable. Her diminutive form, the stark contrast between her white skin and black hair, and the piercing violet eyes that he'd hoped to never see again. To think that the girl he'd saved only hours earlier, was the tenant who'd just moved in.
Alarm bells sounded in his head, mind working overdrive to assess the situation. Soushi did not believe in coincidence, and this development was far too convenient for him to accept it was merely an accident. This woman's presence was a puzzle, a challenge he needed to conquer. He would follow her, observing her, and discover what she was hiding. For perhaps the first time in his life, he felt almost afraid, and that fear excited him, left him anxiously anticipating her next move.
Ririchiyo Shirakiin, he smiled, eyes almost glowing at the picture on his monitor, I think this will actually be interesting, and if nothing else, I'll have to thank you for that.
Soushi lied on his bed in silence, ankles crossed and arms bent behind his head. There were so many new sensations that he could barely keep up with them, as they worked their way through his body. Though he didn't know what to make of it, he was actually looking forward to tomorrow, and all that it would bring.
A/N: I honestly had no idea where I was going with this, but hopefully you liked it! I tried to stay faithful to the spirit of the characters, so hopefully nothing was too OOC, despite this being an AU.
I don't know when I'll update, because I don't really have a ton of ideas, but I'm open to ideas (like whether or not half-youkai exist in this universe). Also, I am not sure about the title, so that might change if I can come up with something more suitable.
