Authors note:
Can't help but feel like I've been slacking recently (though, I've always procrastinated with my writing), so hopefully this might make up for it?
Struggling to fill his lungs; suffocating in this world he hates. Darkness sinking in deeper, the light fading. The only reason he's survived is a shred of deep-ingrained defiance. Trapped in this existence, space slowly shrinking all around him. The black vacuum seemingly screaming at him while eerily silent.
Shooting up in a cold sweat, a shaky hand runs through the tuft of his hair. Enclosed in the tight walls of his fighter, sun glistening against the reflective glass. He took a moment just to calm himself down, taking long draughts of air.
What the fuck am I doing?
Shooting his right leg out, he swiftly kicked open the canopy of his craft; a reckless act seeing as though it could have broken. Then how would he get off should he ever want to? Grasping to his right, he took his blaster and leaped out in a less than graceful manner, landing with a stumble.
The sun's cheeriness hurt, burning against him, blinding him. He moved over to the shade of the trees, slumping down against the bark. What the fuck do I do now? Observing his surroundings, he took little note of value. Grass, trees, green everywhere. Almost as if it was taunting him.
A rustling in a far off bush caught his attention, peering over and waiting for the source to reveal itself. Shortly after, a bunny emerged from the foliage cautiously hopping around. Not cautious enough. The sight was strange to him, seeing the primitive life forms of many of the species he'd interacted with on a daily basis; all it would do is remind him of that damned hare. He'd seen plenty of other species too; pigs, wolves, horses, sheep, to name a few. Those, and...
Clenching his fist, he stood up deciding to go hunting for food. He'd be here for a while, so he better get prepared. Moving through the forest, using his bayonet to mark trees as he went, he left searching for something to eat. It wasn't wrong to eat something like that, right? Then again, he'd already killed many other things, what's one more going to do?
I'm a monster.
A monster who's starving, his predator instincts kicking in. Following a far off scent, he found his prey; a lone adult boar stood feasting on the carcass of something. It was so far mutilated it was almost impossible to tell.
Raising his blaster, he took deep breaths trying to calm his sway. It would do the same thing. One shot to the head would be all that it takes. It's already done the same. The boar oblivious to it's imminent death. It's worse than me.
Bang.
The boar toppled over onto it's side, resting next to it's own prey. Nothing's worse than me. Now that he'd killed it, he had little idea of what to do with it. Moving it would be a problem, plus it would need to be skinned. Probably cooked, too, and he didn't plan on setting up so close to a murder scene.
Just as he was about to reach the dead pig, a voice called out to him from behind. "Wolf!"
He knew that voice well. Too well. What was he doing here? His body straightened up on impulse, and he gave a sideways glance to the source of the noise. Fox fucking McCloud. Of COURSE it would be him.
"Don't come near me." Past memories found themselves creeping back up on him, a deep feeling of dread taking hold of him. Death death death death death death it's all death. He'd killed so much; there was no escape from that.
"I just want t-"
He raised his arm facing him, gun in hand, pointed directly at his skull. Well, 'directly', forgiving the relentless shaking of his hand. "Don't... Come... Closer." Would it always be like this? Always showing himself as a reminder for what he'd done. And yet he had the gall to assume that he'd managed to escape his past. A lone tear fell from his eye in a defiant act to the stoicism in his face, which was the only thing which remained stoic.
And there Wolf stood, looking so broken to Fox. He wanted to move closer, a strange feeling deep inside him wanting to try fix whatever problem was causing it, to fix him, overwhelmed by the obvious feeling that he shouldn't. Standing still, trying to remove all intention of hostility from his face, if there even were any to begin with, he stared.
He even did that better than Wolf too. Eyes shifting left and right in anticipation of anyone else coming; that stupid bird, the obnoxious toad, or perhaps his trophy girlfriend. They could jump him any moment, and he wasn't taking the risk of letting Fox closer. His unarmed claw clenched, distracting him from his thoughts once more. The green in Fox's eyes piercing him, seemingly searching for answers.
Stop.
Lowering his gun, he shot at the floor close to Fox's feet before dashing off into the woods behind him. Sure, just keep running. I'm good at that. His inner bitterness bit against him, while a little bit more shattered inside.
Fox stood unmoving, staring off at the fleeting lupine, perplexed.
Struggling to breathe again, sick of living in fear of it being his last. I have to leave here. After a quick shake of his head, he hopped down from the branch he sat perched on, landing and swinging on other lower branches to make it to the ground.
He'd made sure to run in as straight of a line as he could, to avoid getting lost, which he now began to retrace. No sign of Fox, he'd either lost him or given up. Either works. Eventually finding the sliced trees, his pulse quickened. Keeping a watchful eye out, he slowly moved following his markings; Fox had snook up behind him so he must have came from this direction. The direction of... His ship. Shit!
Reaching the clearing, the first thing he noticed was the shut cockpit. On the bright side, there was no Fox. Rushing over, he leapt onto the wing and tried to open the window, unbudging. It took him a moment to realise an electronic device attached to the craft. That bastard!
Consistently tugging at it did nothing, and soon rage took over him. Slamming his fists into the glass repeatedly, over and over in a fit. "Wolf?" The voice fell on deaf ears as his assault continued. A small crack formed, and after a few more hits he was successful, his left arm plunging through the glass. "Wolf!" Fox rushed over to the side of the ship, looking up and staring at him in bewilderment.
Huffing, his bloodied hand rested against the glass covered seat, shards digging into him all over. The pain distracted him from his anger, staring into the pool of red on the seat below. What am I doing! "What do you want" he murmured inaudibly.
"Huh?"
"What. Do. You. Want." He growled out, refusing to face him.
Fox shook his head gently. "You're bleeding, come down." Nothing. "Let me help patch you up."
"This is a reminder of how stupid I am." He let out, finally pulling his arm out from it's prison, cutting it even more.
"Well then let me make it a reminder of how stupid I'm not. What's the point in leaving it like that?" Silence again. "I'll head back to my ship real quick, stay here." He commanded, making it sound more like a question. Shortly after, he was gone.
Wolf moved over to the tree he sat under earlier, seeing no point in running now. Crimson stained the lush green below him, not that he cared. His thoughts were placed elsewhere. Fox returned, a white box in hand, and moving over to Wolf immediately as he saw him. He sat beside him and opened the kit, revealing an assortment of first aid equipment. "Give me your hand."
He grasped his arm and pulled it towards him slightly, only for Wolf to fiercely tug it back, receiving a disapproving glare from Fox. "Why are you acting like this?" He asked, getting slightly ticked off.
"Why should you care?" He let out bitterly. "What would you know..." Following quietly.
"Wolf." He goaded trying to get his answer, to no avail. He grabbed his arm again, this time not receiving any opposition, a slight smile forming on his face. After spraying the wounds with an antibiotic spray, eliciting a small whine from the lupine, he began to wrap around the cuts with gauze, applying pressure to the wound to try stop the bleeding.
"You wanted to know why I'm here, huh?" He let out while working on his arm, Wolf biting his lip avoiding answering. "Peppy wanted me to check on you. Nobody lives on this planet, and for good reason. It's not as forgiving as Corneria, or other planets in our system, hence the inhabitants."
"I don't want to be 'forgiven'. I came here to get away from that idealistic bullshit." A lie, with partial truth behind his bitterness. That wasn't the real reason, though it was a strong factor.
"Does that matter? You couldeasily die here; is that what you want?"
"It's what everyone else would want, so who cares."
"I wouldn't." Fox replied, finally finishing his wrapping, tying it in a knot. "I don't know what you think, but I know I wouldn't want to see anyone die alone, nor..." He trailed off, looking away.
"Nor..?"
"If you do live, how long do you think you'll survive?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"How long do you think it'll last until you become one of them?" One of... Them? "No one will understand you, no one will talk to you, or help you." He couldn't help but feel that Fox was hiding something from him.
"Sounds just like how it is now."
"Well I'm trying, okay?" You have no reason to.
"Do you really think I'd become one of them?" He asked, trying to find the secret.
"Corneria did some tests over at this planet, you know. Years ago. They didn't last long here..."
"What do you mean?" This all sounds too 'illegal', for the prestigious Corneria. Testing? On people? Isn't that...
"Andross. He was head of this, and other projects at the time. His 'subjects' reverted, so to speak. Don't know much else of it, nor his findings, but he was exiled later and it was deleted." He spoke truthfully, trying to keep everything open for Wolf.
"And how would you know?" He asked, a distinct feeling of doubt in the lupine.
"Peppy's the general now, you know. That's a lot of power, and access to several things hidden. Though he shouldn't, he told me this and asked to try bring you back."
"That doesn't explain to me why you would want to help me." He replied, growling.
"I told you, didn't I?"
"I wouldn't want to see anyone die alone, huh? Tell me Fox, what about Andross." He flinched; struck a nerve.
"He's... Different." He closed his eyes, clenching both fists.
"How so? I helped him. I'm just as bad as guilty as he is."
"You do work, you get paid, I can't hold that against you. I've killed just as many people as you. We're mercenaries, Wolf." There he goes, trying to lump us together. We're not the same.
"I'm a monster, Fox. What don't you see about that!" He almost shouted, immediately regretting letting his emotions get the better of him. Shit.
"You're not. A monster couldn't call himself one. You..." he trailed off, thinking on how to word his thoughts. "You're remorseful, aren't you?"
Bingo, not that he'd ever tell him. "No."
"Then how do you explain this; why is everyone still alive?" The typical response of no response. "You came and helped us during the invasion."
"Common enemy." He stated bluntly, a rehearsed answer. "Who wouldn't?"
"Fine, why am I alive."
"Because," You can do what I can't... "I'll be the one who" loses "kills you. I told you, didn't I?" A sceptical look from the vulpine, probing for answers.
"Be honest with me."
"Stop lying to me" He retaliated.
"I'm not lying to you."
"Then you should lie to me. It's all the same to me anyway."
"Lying hurts someone in the end, and I don't intend on doing so." More righteous bullshit, huh?
"You can't hurt me." He stated, standing up. You can't make things worse. I know it all.
Fox moving to stand up too. "Well even so, I worry I might either way." A question burning deep inside, reluctant to be spoken.
"Hmph." And then they were left in silence. Wolf's thoughts began to sank deeper, fading alongside the setting sun. He's wrong. I know what I am. A hand on his shoulder snapped him out of his thoughts. Don't touch me. A glare to his questioning eyes.
"You coming, then?" An impassive glare, and Fox led the way to his Arwing, Wolf deciding not to follow. "We're gonna have to leave your Wolfen for now, I guess. That's not flying any time soon." He said, eliciting a growl from Wolf, the pain of his arm a reminder of his mistakes.
"And? What do I do once you've taken me? Jail? Death?" Regardless of the answer, he'd resigned to his fate. There's nothing I can do...
"Well... We'll sort that out when we get there, okay?" He has no ulterior motive, doesn't mean the rest don't.
"And if I stay?" He stood defiantly, Fox turning around to face him.
"That's not really an option here. I don't want to, but if I have to..." You'll take me by force.
Fine, he'd go with a few broken bones; he'll be useless anyway. Stop being stubborn. An imperceptible growl, realising the best option here. Fuck it. He reluctantly followed, keeping distance between the two, should anything go wrong.
Reaching the Arwing, one thing was painfully obvious. "Unfortunately, since you can't fly, and I only have one seat available..." Fox cursed his luck, forgetting to clear out the space on the back seat; a clutter of groceries he'd intended on leaving back on the Great Fox. In hindsight, he should have put those in the cargo bay, but it seemed such a hassle to do so now.
"I get it, don't care."
"Unless, of course, you'd rather go in the carg-. No of course not." The look he received from Wolf stopped him midway through. "Just, try not to make things awkward, okay?" Wolf seemed disinterested, that same distant look in his eyes again. He couldn't stop his curiosity any more. "You okay?"
"Yeah, yeah. I won't make things awkward."
"No, not that. I mean are you okay?"
"Never been better." Don't pry.
An evident lie, but Fox knew better than to force it, nodding and leaving it at that. Maybe later.
After arriving at the Great Fox, Wolf's arm was patched up properly and Fox left him to prepare food, leaving Wolf on his own to wander. One thing he noted was that it was quiet; too quiet, given that there should be at least 3 others on here. Walking around, he noticed many of the rooms were sparse, few marks tarnished the metallic walls, showing how new this ship was. Strangely dusty, though.
Moving into what seemed to be a common room, he read the time on the wall clock. 12:37. The planets day-night cycle was almost polar opposite to Corneria's, no wonder he felt so tired. Sure, use that as an excuse.
His stomach grumbled, reminding him that he was still in fact hungry. Speaking of hungry, he began to wonder where Fox had walked off to. Walking past the bedrooms — still no noise to be heard — the scent of food cooking filled his nostrils. Following the trail, he was led to a kitchen dining room of sorts, Fox cooking some meat on the pan; bacon, the synthetic crap all Cornerians use. He'd grown used to the real thing which were sold on Venom; though now knowing where that stuff could have came from made him feel sick.
"Hey, take a seat. Food's done soon." He waved his hand lazily over towards the dining table.
"Where is everyone?" He asked as he sat down, staring at the vulpine.
"They're- uh... Not here."
"Not here?"
He looked forlorn for a second, before perking back up again with his usual cheery look. "You know about Peppy. Krystal's living in Corneria now, she's retired. Slippy doesn't come often any more, he's always helping his dad..." He'd rather spend time with him and not me. Though he understood very well, he couldn't stop his bitter thoughts.
"And the bird?" A slight twinge of emotion hit the vulpine.
"Falco's..." After a gulp, he steeled himself. "Falco's dead. Once the invasion was over, he left the team. Started his own, got together with a few friends he knew before. Star Falco, he named it; as if it wasn't redundant at this point. He was so happy..." He reminisced, remembering the last words he heard from the avian. "I'll become better than you some day, he told me. He was sick of 'being in my shadow', as he put it. That's why he was happy. Happy not because he had his own team, but because I wasn't there." He clenched his fists, sighing. "Died first mission, got in over his head. Katt still hates me to this day..."
Wolf had no clue how to respond. He knew the pain of loss all too well; him being the cause of it for many. That action having an equal reaction on himself, bearing the weight of that; or so he thought. Life was cruel to everyone. Fox busied himself with the food once more, a smile etched onto his face.
Wolf knew from experience how forced that look was.
Fox finished his preparation and moved to the table, bacon sandwiches in tow. The clanking of china against the table broke Wolf from his thoughts, as Fox sat opposite him. "So, you and Krystal still a thing?"
He remembered the news all too well. 'McCloud's girlfriend?' Accused of many things for it. He'd saved her life, and she'd fallen for him. Yet, of course, that would get manipulated to him abducting her from her home planet. Story skewing further, the details he'd rather not mention.
"Yeah, I suppose. We don't see each other often, though." He reluctantly admitted. "I guess retired is a bit of a stretch. She works as a model now, I think, planet hopping daily." Causing yet more rumours to spread. "I just wish she'd tell me where she was going, from time to time. It's been a month..."
You're lying to yourself. Wolf knew this all too well. A loss for words once again. They ate in silence, the stale words lingering in the air.
Standing up, his chair screeching against the floor, Wolf made his way to the door. "Why..." He murmured to himself, audible enough for Fox to hear. "Wolf?" He stood in the hallway, not knowing where to go. The rec room was the best bet, as he began making his way to there. This isn't right...
Thoughts plagued once more, he sat on the couch. It hurt. It always hurts, but it hurts more. Some things you can't control. His chest, more precisely. This newfound information struck something in Wolf, and he didn't know how to deal with it. Forget about it. How could he forget about it. Lethargy hitting him, he lay down against the sofa and soon found sleep.
Choking once more. Lungs filling with a non-existent substance, pain surging over his body. It's black, too black. Why is it always black? Why can't he see what's happening? Movement futile, and yet he fought. Fought for his freedom against the twisting shadows, looking for an exit.
An abstract feeling of warmth against his head, an anomaly from the dark. Using the heat, he calmed himself, feeling infinitely times more safe.
Eyes shooting open, drawing out shaky breath, his gaze met with a concerned Fox's own. It took little time to realise his head was rested in his lap, yet strangely enough that didn't phase him. What did phase him, however, was what Fox probably saw; his eyes wide open radiating empathy, his hand resting against Wolf's head. "F-Fox?" He let out shakily, only for Fox to shake his head in return.
"Don't talk, get your breath first. We'll talk later." He hushed him, looking straight forward at the wall. Taking deep breaths, an action well practised, restored his breathing, yet the small act of affection on the lupine's head was all it took for his heart to refuse it's incessant beating. What's this?
"Fox?" He spoke again, alerting the vulpine.
"You good now?" Replying with a sigh. A nod of his head resulted in a smile from Fox. "You wanna talk?" He asked reluctantly.
"No." Almost immediately, as the others smile flipped.
"Well, I do." Don't pry. "What was that all about?"
"Nothing. It's normal."
"Th-that's normal? If so, that is not nothing." Don't pry. "Please, Wolf?" Nothing. He didn't know what he expected. "Are they usually that bad?"
"That was probably the best one I've had..." He murmured, knowing all too well why. I can't be like this. Fox knew too, or at least Wolf thought so given the slight happiness evident on his face. His miniature victory. As much as it pained him to see someone suffer like that, he took satisfaction in being able to help.
"That's no good..." he murmured to himself. Don't look down on me.
The conversation hit a sour note once again, leaving them only with the sounds of the ship. Suddenly he found himself enveloped by the other in an embrace. W-what? Heart pounding wildly, he had no idea what to do, so he submitted to the hug, shaking. "F..." his name on the tip of his tongue, dancing, teetering on the edge. A sudden stabbing pain in his lower back caused him to try call out, but his voice refused to listen.
A literal stabbing pain. A knife in Fox's clutches, lodged deep inside, blood pouring all over him. "This is why I brought you here." Malicious words taunted him. "To find out how weak you really are. Why would anyone ever save you?" A lone tear ran down the lupine's face, unable to shed more. As much as the words hurt, he knew it all along.
No...
He's right.
It can't be...
He couldn't be more right.
But I wish it wasn't.
But it always will be.
"-LF" He was shaking, or rather being shook. Fox's arms on each shoulder, snapping him out of his trance. Huh?
"You're good, you're okay, yeah? It's over, right?" Fox spoke in rushed words. It was far worse than he expected.
"What? What's wrong?"
"You just stopped, silent, then began shaking wildly. And..." he neglected saying much more, for fear of worrying him. "You hear what I said?"
"Depends on what was said." He spoke, trying to shake the daydream out of his mind.
"I spoke to Peppy, about you. He told me a few things and..." He's handing me in.
"I get it. I'd already resigned to it long ago." Pulling away from the vulpine, he sat upright against the cushions.
"I don't think you do. He said you're free to go." He's hiding something.
Standing now, refusing to face the vulpine, he asked. "Really now?"
"And- uh... I wa-"
"Save it." He began to leave the room, wanting to be on his own. "You're keeping things from me. I have no intention of listening further."
Fox clenched his fists, quickly getting up himself, looking at him. "That's not it, damnit!" He shouted, startling the lupine. "I haven't lied to you at all! Not once!"
"I didn't say that. You're hiding something, it's so obvious it hurts." Obvious because I do the same thing...
"Maybe if you'd let me finish then you'd find it out!"
"Go ahead."
Back to a timid demeanour, relaxing his muscles, he took a deep breath. "I was wondering if you'd... want to stay... with me?"
A wasted effort, leaving the vulpine on his own in the room. Collapsing back into the chair, head planted in his hands clasping at his head fur. What did he do wrong this time? He didn't lie, tried to be as open as possible, as nice as he could too. Do people hate that kind of thing? Does everyone just hate me?
Peppy seemed to be the only one who's stayed with him this entire time; due to some sense of obligation he surmised. That wasn't what he wanted, it wasn't real. As bad as the thought was, Wolf was in the same boat as him. He thought he could find some refuge in the other. So why?
Am I just repulsive?
Wolf, however, was not faring with his thoughts much better. An intense ache in his chest as his heart beats wavered. This wasn't happening. The sincerity in the vulpine hurt, not knowing why.
How he loathed the joy he was experiencing...
This isn't fair. Motionless, he stood. Turned down by everyone, despite being the one who would go out of his way for anyone. And I just did the same thing. It's different. He clenched his fist, claws scraping dangerously against his flesh. It's for the best. I'll just change him. His presence cataclysmic, Fox would become just like him. Sympathy from the other didn't help.
I refuse to bring another down with me.
Corneria in sight, the two neared their destination. Fox stood by a window, watching the looming planet close in slowly. I have to do something. The two hadn't spoken since their last meeting, but he doubted it would be hard to find him. Is he avoiding me?
Walking down the corridor, rooms passed with no evidence of the lupine ever touching it. Thinking about it, there was really only one place he could imagine Wolf hiding. Turning, he ran down the corridor and took the elevator down to the docking bay and sure enough, Wolf was sat in the corner.
"You just running, then?"
"It's all I'm good at." He muttered in response.
"Have you thought about my proposal?"
"Yes. And no." A swift response, stabbing through his heart.
"Why not?" He spoke weakly, fearful of his response. "Why are you leaving me, too? I saved you, and yet..." You hate me.
"I can't stay with you, or join your team, or whatever the hell you want. It's wrong."
"Wrong... Huh?" He whispered to himself. "Is that what everyone else thought? Just being with me is wrong?" He spoke louder, restraining himself. "Tell me, what's so wrong about me, huh? Am I stupid? Annoying? Arrogant? Conceited? Controlling?"
All Wolf could do was shake his head.
"Then what is it?!"
Nothing.
"Why does everyone hate me?" His rage continued, speaking more to himself again, losing himself in a trance. It's all the same. You protect someone throughout your flights as if your life depended on it, and they leave you to go kill themselves.
You save someone from a life trapped in a crystal on a foreign planet with killer dinosaurs, getting swallowed whole by one of them, just for them to hide their presence from you.
You stay friends with a fledgling mechanic, offer him a job on your team to help him gain more experience, and he runs to go use it for someone else.
He'd never left anyone else. There was one common factor in each of these cases; Fox. He'd somehow fucked everything despite trying his hardest not to. Even now he was doing the same exact same thing.
Wolf was probably the person most resentful towards him, but somewhere he'd thought he reached an understanding with the other. They were more like each other than they took credit for. If anyone had his answers, it would be Wolf. And yet 'Wrong' is all he's given.
"Wrong... I'm 'wrong'" Melancholy washed over his rage, leading him to reflect on everything.
"I'll be back in a week, Fox. Take care of the house." James' smile beamed down at him.
Gone... That's not his fault.
"It's gonna take a lot to keep this hare out of the sky, sonny." Peppy smirked, turning from the piloting seat of the Great Fox.
Gone...
"Fox." Wolf called out, reaching his limit. The vulpine turned to face him, glossy eyes threatening tears. And yet he was smiling... That usual, cheery look. A fit of anger, followed by depressing memories of the past, and yet it remained. Wolf's chest constricted, closing his eyes. How far will he go...
"Who's fault do you think this is?" He asked, even though he knew the answer.
"Isn't it obvious? I'm the common factor in all of this."
"That doesn't make it your fault. Just because they left you doesn't make it your fault."
"Then how can you explain it. You've established it's because I'm 'wrong', whatever that means. If you have all the answers, why not just say?"
"It's not because you're wrong, but I am. All those things you've said, and more, perfectly describe me. That's why I can't stay with you."
"But-"
"There's no 'but' about it. If I'm with you, I'll change you. I don't want that. There's a reason you found me on that planet."
"You said you never wanted to be forgiven."
"I left because I shouldn't be forgiven. Everything I've done has been bad. I've torn families apart. Worked for a madman. I've ran a base of pirates. Death after death, it's all the same. I was associated in killing your father, too." He stated, the other flinching. He'd expected as much, but bringing it up still pained him.
"And yet, you're the only person I feel I could relate to... Tell me, what part did you have in his death."
"We fought, he fell. Can't say much more."
"We?"
"Star Wolf."
"And who took the last shot?"
"Does it matter?" None of us...
"No... I suppose not." He admitted, defeated. "Even with all this, I... I just." His smile began to waver, yet he was determined to keep up his image. "I don't care. I just want someone to be with. Someone who won't leave me..."
"Stop."
"Damn it, Wolf, I-"
"Stop." He interrupted, as Fox took another step closer.
"Why should I?"
"I've brought many people down with me; I don't want you to be one of them. You're too," Perfect "good to be around someone like me. I'll just drag you down."
"You don't give yourself enough credit."
"You give me too much credit." He rebuked, looking away.
"I don't think you're half as bad as what you make yourself out to be." Shut up. "You've done what you had to to survive," I'm not listening "you've never annoyed me." Stop lying... "I could never call someone who's fought against all odds stupid." …to me... "You may be slightly arrogant, but that's just who you are; it's not a bad thing." ...with that... "Even if you think negatively of yourself, I won't." …god damn... "I've probably killed more than you have..." ...face!
Wolf stood, fiercely looking at the other. The look of surprise masked by a false happiness, driving him insane. "How can I trust you?!" He accused, pointing a finger at the other. "When all you do is hide how you really feel? How long are you planning on keeping this lie alive? How am I supposed to know that you don't hate me?"
"Because..."
"When will you give it up? I've had enough!" He shouted, not waiting for a response. "I can tell how this is affecting you, but you won't show me, or anyone. And even now, after calling you out on it, you still carry on."
"I... I..." He stuttered, shaking slightly. His facade began to shatter, piece by piece. Tears flowing freely, bringing his hands up to try cover himself. Smile distorting into a frown, breaking his gaze with the lupine looking down at the floor. "Is this what you wanted?" He spoke between sniffles. "To see me like this?"
Wolf's pulse quickened, palpitating intensely. That same stabbing finding it's way there once again. No... No it's not. He moved closer and, ignoring all sense of reason, wrapped his arms around the crying male. Arms clutched around him desperately, trying to hold onto Wolf as if it was all he had left. "Let it all out." Wolf said gently, a weak attempt to try comfort the other as he had done earlier.
"Please, just... Don't leave me."
"Promise me something." He nodded his head furiously. "Don't hide how you feel from me, okay?" Another set of nodding. "Never think negatively of yourself again." Because it just makes me feel far worse by comparison. A more reluctant nod. "Don't let me contaminate you." He shook his head, looking up to the other, water reflecting the light from his eyes, shining like emeralds.
"There's nothing to contaminate me with."He said, Wolf looking down in disapproval. "If I'm not allowed to think negatively, neither are you."
"That isn't part of the deal."
"I can't have you taking all the burden, or you might hate me too eventually... I don't want to mess this up."
"I... I'll try."
"And I'll help." He stared at the other in thought. "And, on the note of not hiding how I feel..."
"Hm?" Fox quickly moved to plant his lips against the others; Wolf's eyes shooting wide open. Moving away from the embrace, Fox looked up at him. "I don't know if that was the right thing, but I just..." He looked down, kicking the floor idly. "It felt right, somehow." Wolf couldn't deny that he enjoyed it more than he let on, heart racing, a deep fuzziness in his chest giving him warmth.
"I don't know..."
"Honestly, I don't know what this is myself... When I see you, my heart tightens, and I feel the urge to help..." He trailed off.
"Maybe it's because you're just as alone as I feel..."
"I could just be blowing this all out of proportion, really."
"Or perhaps it's just after all this loneliness that I feel this way," He chuckled bitterly. "but..."
"I think it might be love..." He looked up, glossy eyes abstract against his smile. A genuine smile. As strange as the word was to the lupine, he held the same sentiment. Whether it's love or not doesn't matter. It's something, and that's all that counts.
Wolf found himself smiling, too, a first in a long time. He couldn't remember the last time; years, he guessed. That defiant, belittling voice pushed to the back of his mind, making way for happiness. Maybe he could start anew, with all his past darkness at his feet. Only time would tell.
End note:
This day project turned into a 'stay up all night' sort of thing; not that I mind. Writing it was pretty fun, and hopefully I'll stop slacking. I gotta be up for uni in around 3 and a half hours so...
Hope you enjoyed? Thanks for reading, love you all 3
