Lightning could count on one hand the amount of times she remembers crying. There were only three times, and they all had come within the last year. The first time she had cried was when Serah was taken. The second time would be after the explosive fight with Snow and all her insecurities and nightmares came spilling out to him. This would be the third.

Scrubbing harshly at her skin, Lightning tried to erase the memory of what had just happened. Neither of them had meant for it to happen, but they had not stopped it either. How could they be so cruel to Serah? This was the ultimate betrayal on both of their parts. Snow was her fiancé, she was her sister. It was wrong in every sense of the word. But no matter how hard she scrubbed, the memory would not leave her. If they had not gone into town, this never would have happened. She would be sleeping on the ground right now, dreaming about getting her sister back instead of in a shower trying to forget she had just betrayed her in the worst way.

If she were to be honest with herself, Lightning would say it was definitely not a bad feeling, being with him. But knowing that once this was over and that if— when they got Serah back, Snow would marry her and that she might one day find out what they did made her sick. Here she was, sober and clean, and she still willingly slept with her sisters fiancé. That fact alone made her feel like the lowest scum coming from Cocoon.

She should hope that he would not remember this tomorrow, that if he did he was thinking she was Serah, but Lightning was far from naïve. Not once has he called her Serah tonight, he had always called her Lightning. He knew who she was and, as horrible as it was to think, he knew what he was doing. She should try to rationalize what they did. It was desperation, she could say, but she would not. There was nothing desperate about what they did. It was slow and it was instinctual. Everything it should not have been.

The thought made Lightning snarl and scrub even harder. But she could not get the feeling to lift from her skin. She could not do anything. she was helpless to the guilt that was slowly eating away at her. How would she be able to look her sister in the face when she came back? She refused to think that she would never have to live up to this.

Did he feel the same way, she wondered. Did he feel like he made the worst mistake of his life tonight, betraying the woman he has claimed to love with all his heart, the woman he promised to give himself to completely once this whole thing was over? She hoped he did, because she did not want to be alone when it came to this guilt. She was not the only person at fault here, and she would not take all the blame.

But she still felt that she should. Snow may have known who she was, but he was also drunk. He could have been acting on repressed feelings— the thought stilled her. The mere thought that he could have legitimate feelings for her was mind numbing. It should not be possible, but it was a plausible explanation; one that she hated with all of her heart.

Slamming her fist into the wall, Lightning allowed herself to slide to the floor of the shower stall. She would ponder and worry and feel guilty about her treachery to her sister tonight. But tomorrow she would put this to the back of her mind, hopefully to fall into the pit of forgotten memories with her past.

In the room over, a man crying for the choice he knew he would have to make.

x.-.x.-.x.-.x.-.x.-.x.-.x.-.x.-.x.-.x.-.x.-.x.-.x.-.x.-.x.-.x.-.x.-.x.-.x.-.x

A/N:

Well, this was an interesting piece to write. Thankfully, this is Fan Fiction and as such I took liberties with Lightning's character. This turned out completely different from what I had originally imagined it to be, but I have to say, I like it. I think anyone would react in such a way when something like this happens, especially when that someone is the unknown that is Lightning.

I tried to edit this as best as I could, but I would appreciate if someone would help point out further errors that I missed since I most likely missed a few.

Not all of these "chapters", and I use the term loosely, will be based on each other. They hold a common theme since they have to do with Lightning and Snow. There may be slight references from one chapter to another and heck, there might be some chapters that are directly connected with another.

Chapter length: 660 words.

Genre: Angst.

Ciao,
Maddi