A/N: Hello everyone! First of all, and that goes without saying: this one-shot is FILLED with spoilers. So, please, if you haven't seen the movie yet, go back and don't read.

For the others lucky enough - or perhaps not - to have seen it already, here's to you...

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WHAT IN THE NAME OF SANITY WERE THE RUSSO BROTHERS THINKING? This movie was NOTHING like the ending we deserved and these character deserved and I am SOOOOOOO angry!

So many characters have been reduced to a laughable version of themselves, for the sake of...what, I don't even get it. Others have been given a conclusion arc that was probably written in like ten minutes tops, and the entire movie is filled to the brim with plotholes.

Doc Brown and the Doctor would just punch the brothers in the face relentlessly, just for Roger's ending. Like, seriously, WHAT THE HECK?

But, well, I have to admit, there were a lot of good things too. Rocket, and Ronin, were definitely the two highlights of the film. Along with Stark, who could fart rainbows as far as I'm concerned. XD Some scenes were just beautiful to watch, and I cried a lot. Definitely.

But there was too much to just cringe at for me to be anything else than pissed off a few hours after having seen it.

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So, here comes. I wrote this in a total whim, after not sleeping and thinking too much about everything that had gone on.

Pardon the entire crack that this one-shot is going to be. It's therapeutic. I needed it to give my brain some peace.

And also, Loki.

Because SHIT MAN, you and Vision were like thrown into a ditch to be forgotten. Shame. :(


Avengers: Our Endgame


Even in death, Loki could see the pitiful Earthlings make the biggest mistakes in their existence. Poised to watch them all try (and probably fail) to defeat Thanos, he had half a mind to summon what humans called 'popcorn' to watch it unfold.

But see, watching Earth evolve without half its population for five years while you were nothing else than an invisible ghost was funny – it was, truly, very entertaining – but seeing your brother, the person you sacrificed yourself for, being such a moron, that was something Loki wouldn't abide for.

He'd always been good at manipulating minds. Always the Liesmith, Silvertongue and whatnot. Figures that he could still do it while dead…

Seriously, what would all these so-called Avengers do without him?


First, Loki followed a trail made of a Doctor Hulk – he'd laughed very loud at that one, shame that no one could have heard – and a talking raccoon, towards a small town named 'New Asgard', and where they first stumbled upon Valkyrie.

Ooooh, what he wouldn't have done to have enough consistency in his body to punch her in the face. Their first – and last – fight had left him in need for revenge.

But no matter, for next, he was presented with the oversize silhouette of Thor, God of Thunder, King of Asgard, and notorious drunk. The size of his beer-belly would have rivalled Volstagg's back in the day, and the sole sight of his brother in this state sent Loki's mind in overdrive.

If it had been possible for smoke to go out of his ears, he would have looked like a kettle ready to whistle…

Gliding towards his moronic sibling, Loki leaned into his ear and started weaving his words, lacing as much disappointment and anger into it for the message to get through.

"Thor, you utter idiot, look what state you're in… I've given my life for yours, and that's how you repay me? I get it, you're depressed because you couldn't stop that gigantic purple beast, but don't you have something else to do than wallow in alcohol? Don't you have a people to lead? To help rebuild their lives on a strange planet, decimated? Aren't you supposed to be their king, to bring them hope? Get up, Thor, and get a grip. I didn't die to watch you become a pathetic human. GET UP!"

Yes, figures that having his deceased brother's voice inside his head yelling at him made Thor spring to his feet, eye the bottle of beer still nursed in his hand, and throw it at the wall – above a slightly startled Miek.

Strike one: because yes, no matter what physique he had, Thor was still the greatest and strongest warrior there was, but Loki would be damned before he saw the person he cared for the most become pathetic and laughable.

Over his dead- oh. You get my meaning.


Time travel. Honestly, humans would always surprise him. Not always in the positive sense of the word, but in this instance, he had to admit that he was impressed at Stark's intellect.

Not for the first time, if Loki was perfectly honest with himself.

He'd have almost patted the scientist on the back, if he could have…

That being said, so many things could go wrong – would go wrong – that he just had to go with.

Figures there again that his dead conscience could follow the Avengers – and pals – to the quantum realm. But it would be too straining to try and find logic in it.

While Thor and the raccoon – there again, Loki had a sense that he would have quite liked the small animal, he had some spirit in him to be sure – went back to the Dark Elves' invasion, and the God of Mischief knew that they'd manage perfectly well – plus, he had to admit that seeing his mother alive again would have probably rendered him mad with grief – and while Barton and Romanoff set out to another planet in search for the elusive Soul Stone, he chose to follow the blue android and dear old James Rhodes.

Nebula, as she was called, was unaware that her cybernetic body allowed her dear old dad to access the memory of both her current self and the past one her timeline now crossed paths with. He could have sighed in annoyance at the fact that the greatest minds of several planets couldn't even figure such a simple thing out…

An virtual face palm would have to do.

A little whispering in one's mechanical ear, a swatting of hand later, and Nebula, daughter of Thanos, was made aware of the danger.

At least they'd carry on with the knowledge that Thanos would be their bane no matter what year he came from.

Purple bastard.


Great. Just great.

So, first, the Hulk undid the Snap – as if nobody else could have done it, say, oh, a superhuman soldier with the strength of a God, or, say, a literal God? Then Thanos showed up and blasted the building to smithereens.

And then Hell broke loose.

Loki let out the loudest – and also…useless, since no one heard it – snort in the History of snorts when Rogers summoned Mjöllnir and the thunder and lightning that came with it – although, that was debatable, wasn't thunder and lightning Thor's thing and not his hammer's? whatever, this was too confusing and giving him a virtual headache already – but he had to admit it had some style.

He'd let it slide, just this once.

What bothered him more, however, was that that Captain Marvel woman, who'd gone Odin-knew-where with the excuse that she had other worlds to save – but was Thanos currently attacking other worlds? he didn't think so – had flown back into the fray, casually blasting Thanos' spaceship out of the sky without breaking a sweat, and yet, was stupid enough to block one of the Titan's hands and not the other.

Virtual face palm number two.


It was clear to Loki that he had to intervene. While Stark's act of heroism was logical like nothing else had been for the past few years – literally nothing – it would have also quite annoyed Loki that the brightest mind on Earth came out like a ragdoll.

Especially since he had, like, ooooh, an entire army of friends to help?

So, of course, that Loki glided over to one spider-kid's side and whispered in his ear, then went to Miss Potts, and Rogers, and Rhodes, and so on, and so on.

"And I…" Stark began in a sigh, "am Iron Man." He raised his hand, ready to snap, to finish this stupid war, when a hand closed around his arm.

The kid from Queens hissed under the Gems' powers, and soon, Miss Potts' hand closed around the boy's hand, and Rhodes around hers. On Stark's other side came Strange, and Quill, and Drax, that tree-thing, and Loki's now favourite raccoon.

On and on and on came a line of heroes, all taking on the Gems' power to their own body, their own souls, carrying it through until it wasn't lethal anymore…..to them, anyway.

And Tony Stark, along with all the Avengers, finally snapped.

As it should have been, they saved the Universe…together.


Seriously, wasn't it infuriating as Hel that he had been the one to whisper into Barton's ear that Romanoff deserved a funeral? Shouldn't the ones she'd called friends, family, have thought about it first?

Loki sat on the wooden stairs of the Stark's residence, sneer in place as he watched the Avengers say goodbye to the former Russian spy, the woman who had become a hero in her own right, and yet, always, had been overlooked. By all.

Figured that he also had to give Fury the urge to say a few words, because in what reality would Nick Fury attend one of his best assets' funeral without opening his big mouth and pay homage to them?

Right. In no reality, whatsoever.


In truth, the dark-haired God would have wanted his last deed to have been something else than talk some sense in Steve Rogers' ear. There was nothing more annoying than having to explain to that good for nothing idiot that no, going back in time to marry the woman he loved was not an option when she was supposed to marry someone else and have children with them.

Americans…

Well, twice Loki had to talk – or yell, more like – sense into Rogers' ear.

The second time, it was to expose in no less than three thousand words why James Buchanan Barnes, his best-friend, the person he also should have gone back in time to save from Hydra – by the way – and the person who'd stood by his side through all this, the person who knew him better than anyone else, deserved the shield more than a winged-man.

But perhaps Loki simply preferred one symbol over another….more obvious one.

Let's just shrug at that.


And so it was, that Loki's dead conscience, floating into nothing, invisible to all, managed to give the Avengers the end they deserved. Not the ending they'd have gotten if he hadn't gotten angry and decided to take this into his own translucent hands.

Because if the Avengers were owed something at all, it was a good ending. Not necessarily a happy one, but just: a good one.