[A/N: this fic is rated M for mature language, graphic deaths (hopefully not of the readers, however, that is up to Ciel and Sebastian), content that young readers may not comprehend, or want to comprehend, and the nature in which these letters are addressed]

Greetings to you all. My name is Sebastian Michaelis, and my master's name is Ciel Phantomhive. Perhaps you have heard of him, or at least his company, Funtom Company, a manufacturer of toys, sweets, and food (which we were awarded a royal warrant for).

My Lord suggested that I have an advice/questions column for those of you who are curious. He insists that it will be something to occupy my time, though, I suspect he is hiding something from me. However, as long as he is unharmed in his secretive ways, I must obey his order to leave him be.

I will be answering reviews to this story to the best of my ability, however, I will not reveal vital secrets of Ciel's or mine. Feel free to ask any questions, just understand that I may not be allowed, by contract or otherwise, to answer.

With Deadly Butter Knives (and other dining utensils),

Sebastian

For you see, I am simply one hell of a butler