I'm a Brony This Way

Author's Note: This is a song parody of "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga.

This is the manifesto of My Little Pony.

On the H.U.B., Hasbro's Unabashed Broadcasting network, a show about friendship and magic premiered. But this premiere spawned a change hitherto deemed impossible. Grown men would partake in the collecting of plastic dolls and flood the Internet with all manor of fanfare. As the fandom grew and ponies took over the web, it was perceived that this infamous moment in life was not a fad, but a subculture. And thus began the beginning of the bronies, a group of people who embrace the freedom and friendship of magic. But on that same day as 4chan was flooded with ponies, a new evil began to form: the haters. As the Internet was split into two factions, sides were chosen and flaming became the norm. It seems that one would want to favor good, but how could one protect something so perfect without—Oh who am I kidding. I'm epically describing a kids show for crying out loud.

#

It doesn't matter if I'm a guy

Who loves P-O-N-Y

I'll put my hooves up 'cause I'm a brony this way

#

My online friends told me just last year

You should go and watch the HUB

They told me about this really girly show

In response I began to rudely snub

But I was hooked after just one view

I said, "Wow, this is an awesome show"

Now I make PMV's all day long

Look how high my hits will go

#

I'm sure the haters will say

That I am totally gay

But I don't care

'Cause I'm a brony this way

I have no reason to regret

When I buy a pony play set

Please don't stare

'Cause I'm a brony this way

#

For pony toys, I will pay

'Cause I'm a brony this way

Baby, I'm a brony this way

I'll shop Toys R' Us or EBay

'Cause I'm a brony this way

I'm not loco

'Cause I'm a brony this way.

#

Don't be a drag ‒ just be a king

'Cause friendship is everything

And love and tolerance I will bring

To all

#

Don't feed the parasprites

Ignore the trolls

I turn my cheek and show my pride

In the fandom of My Little Pony

I freely embrace my feminine side

#

Loving ponies is not a sin

Believe capital M-L-P (Hey hey hey)

I'll shout out loud to all around the world

La amitié est magique!

#

I'll buy a rainbow toupee

And go do a pony cosplay

I'm not jokin'

'Cause I'm a brony this way

I don't hide my face out of shame

When I play a pony flash game

I'm not girly

'Cause I'm a brony this way

#

Oh I know Derpy's gray

'Cause I'm a brony this way

Baby, I'm a brony this way

Hey relax, I'm okay

'Cause I'm a brony this way

I'm not ditzy

'Cause I'm a brony this way.

#

Please don't have a conniption

When you read my latest fanfiction

It's got love affairs, lust, and debauchery

Between Rainbow Dash and Rarity

The haters, they will criticize

They'll ridicule, mock, and chastise

But love and tolerance will keep them at bay

'Cause, baby, I'm a brony this way

#

No matter pegasus or earth

Or unicorn or all three

I want to hug them all, baby

'Cause they're as cute as can be.

No matter pink, blue, or beige

Flash cartoon or Hasbro made

I'll collect them all, baby

The pink aisle I'll certainly raid

#

My reaction won't be blasé

If I met Lauren Faust today

I'm eccentric

'Cause I'm a brony this way

Please don't think I'm a loon

If I watch a girly cartoon

I obsess

'Cause I'm a brony this way

#

I'm a brony this way hey!

I'm a brony this way hey!

I'm proud to admit it

I'm a brony this way hey!

#

I'm a brony this way hey!

I'm a brony this way hey!

I haven't lost my mind

I'm a brony this way hey!

#

I'm a brony...welcome to the herd

I'm a brony...welcome to the herd