RETURN TO FEAR (a sequel to Primary Fears)
It has been three months since Marshall, Rocky and Chase were scarred by horrific nightmares. And ever since then their dreams have never gotten that bad again. Until Chase suffers a dream that causes him to question how good a friend and leader he is. But even with no Ryder to comfort him, Chase intends to uphold his promise to not keep secrets anymore.
2:30AM.
Normally, at this point at night, the Lookout would be entirely silent, without even the smallest amount of activity. Ryder and all the pups would usually be fast asleep at this time of night, and indeed, all of the pups were resting in preparation for the next day ahead of them.
All but one.
As much as he struggled, a certain german sheperd pup simply could not go back to sleep after a nightmare jolted him awake an hour ago. Even his secret favourite teddy, Officer Bear, wasn't of any help in calming his mind. As much as he tried to brush off his dream, it was all he could think about, much to his chagrin.
It was only three months ago that Chase, Rocky and Marshall had all suffered nightmares so horrific that they were effectively incapacitated, and although their dreams had been mostly peaceful up until that point, Chase had prayed over and over that their minds wouldn't concoct something so traumatic again. But while this dream wasn't outwardly-traumatic, it still struck Chase as eerily-prophetic. Something that wasn't entirely out of the realm of possibility. His wish was simply not to be.
The fourth giant sigh of the night escaped Chase's lips as he took another look at the clock in the ceiling of his pup house. The feeling of deja vu was not a pleasant one. And what made matters worse was that even though he needed the comforting words of his owner, Ryder was unfortunately confined to the hospital for the night for observation purposes. Of course, the one mission Chase wasn't there for was the one mission where Ryder ended up with a hairline fracture to his hand after a piece of falling debris clipped him. Thankfully, the piece of debris wasn't very large, but it was evidently large enough to take Ryder away from Chase when he really needed him.
But the memories of Ryder's comfort caused another memory to play in Chase's head. One where he was crying deeply, surrounded by Rocky and Marshall doing their absolute best to calm him down and reassure him that they were there for him. Chase shut his eyes and smiled, before a lightbulb turned on in his head.
He, Rocky and Marshall had reassured each other countless times that they'd always be there for one another, and that Marshall had been very clear in what he wanted. All he wanted was for Chase to not hide his feelings. And that he couldn't help if the problem had stayed locked away in Chase's head. Deciding that it was probably better to let Rocky rest after a grueling day of inventing, Chase rose up, stretched, and set off towards the red pup house.
Chase couldn't help but feel jealous upon getting a good look at the dozing dalmatian before him. Marshall was obviously having a better night's sleep than he was, lying completely silent and still. Chase didn't really want to wake Marshall up so late at night when he was clearly sleeping so well. But then Chase envisioned the next morning. He envisioned Marshall quizzing him on why he looked so tired, and Marshall's face of sad disappointment when he learned that Chase was hiding his feelings again. Realising that this is what Marshall would probably want, Chase steeled himself.
"No more secrets..." the shepherd whispered to himself, leaning in and gently nuzzling the speckled pup, who stirred slightly in response.
"Mmmmmrrrrrgghhhh… blllluuugghhh..." Chase couldn't help but smirk ruefully at how much Marshall looked like a zombie as he slowly dragged himself back into consciousness. "...gruuuuhhh-huh? Ch… Chase…?" Marshall mumbled with his eyes only marginally open, slowly registering the brown pup close to his face.
"Hey, Marshall..." Chase whispered.
"Is… everything… OK?" Marshall sounded worried. Perhaps not for nothing, as he wasn't used to Chase actively waking him at night.
"Well, kinda…" Chase replied with an oddly-downcast expression. "There's no emergency or anything, but..."
"You sure? You look kinda sad..."
"Well, I had a pretty bad nightmare… Now I can't sleep."
Marshall's heart sank. "Oh, not again…" he whimpered.
He didn't outright say it, but it was clear that Marshall had been hoping for no further nightmares, too. And those hopes had just been cruelly dashed.
"How long ago was that?" Marshall went on.
"About an hour…" Chase replied, staring sadly at the floor. "I tried to go back to sleep, but… I can't stop thinking about it… Or you."
Marshall stiffened at the last two words before cocking his head. "Me? I'm guessing I was part of that dream?"
"Yeah..."
"Right." The now fully-awake Marshall swiftly got to his paws. "Let's take this somewhere quiet, huh?"
Chase's expression quickly shifted to one of confused surprise. "Wait. Just like that?"
"Just like that. If you had a dream that made it so you couldn't sleep and had to come wake me up, its gotta have been bad, right?" Marshall gave Chase a reassuring smile. "Besides… A couple of months ago, you would've tried to keep that to yourself… I'm really glad you wanna share it this time."
Chase couldn't help but return Marshall's smile. It was in that moment that Chase realised that he made the right choice.
"Oh, before we go, there's something we need..." Marshall stopped abruptly, before turning around and moving to Chase's pup house.
"Really? What's that?"
"Oh, don't play dumb..."
Marshall dipped into Chase's pup house before swiftly coming back out with a familiar object in his mouth. Chase's eyes went wide.
"Officer Bear? We 'need' him?" Chase asked, swiftly averting his gaze in embarrassment. "Uh, I really don't think he's necessary..."
"Oh, no…" Marshall replied with a knowing grin, having gently set the bear down on the floor in front of him. "I think his services are very much required for a time like tonight."
Chase wouldn't tell anyone this, but his nightmares left him sleeping with Officer Bear every night a few months ago. But sadly, Chase's cherished puppyhood toy could only do so much in the face of nightmares that terrifying.
"But… what… good is he gonna do?" Chase's tone was halting. He knew full-well why he needed Officer Bear, but that didn't change his hesitance towards sleeping with him with another pup watching. "Why do we need an old teddy?"
Marshall rolled his eyes. "OK, Chase, if it makes you feel any better..."
Marshall swiftly trotted back to his own pup house, only to return seconds later with his own teddy in his mouth, carefully depositing it on the floor in front of Chase.
"You've really got nothing to be embarrassed about. We all know you still sleep with Officer Bear sometimes. We don't think any less of you for it." Marshall reassured Chase.
"But… isn't Officer Bear… childish?" Chase went on falteringly.
"Chase…" Marshall gave Chase a look that was a mixture of amusement and exasperation. "You do realize who you're talking to, right? Besides, you're only a year older than me. There's no hurry to grow up."
Finally, Chase saw fit to concede the argument after searching his brain for a rejoinder. "...you win."
Marshall smiled again. "I know I do."
With their respective teddies in their mouths, the two quietly headed into the Lookout. Chase had wondered if they were going to end up in the corner like when he found Marshall crying in terror like a puppy. A few seconds passed of Chase glancing around the room before Marshall got his attention.
"Chase. Over here." Marshall called out around the bear in his mouth.
"Huh? The elevator? Where are we…?" Then it hit him. Chase quickly realised what Marshall was insinuating. "Wait. No. We can't sleep in Ryder's bed!"
"Oh, he won't mind!" Marshall couldn't help but smile at the indignant look on his friend's face. "Besides, its not like he's using it right now! We can make it for him when we're done, right?"
With a muffled sigh, Chase decided to just go with it, hoping that Ryder wouldn't be angry at the two stealing his bed. "Why Ryder's bed, anyway?" he asked asked as the elevator began to ascend.
"It's one of the comfiest places I know." Marshall replied, thinking back to the night Ryder and Chase had comforted him in his time of need. "And I wanna make sure you're comfortable when you're talking about your nightmares."
Chase didn't feel any less apprehensive as he followed Marshall towards Ryder's room. The door to which was left open from when Ryder rushed into action that day. Of course, being sent to hospital partway through didn't leave him much time to return home to shut said door, allowing the two pups to slip in and hop onto the bed.
Marshall wasted no time in wriggling under the covers and getting comfortable with his own teddy, leaving only his head visible on the pillow, giving Chase an expectant look. Realising that he wasn't going to be winning this, Chase joined Marshall in awkwardly squirming under the covers with Officer Bear. But once he'd gotten settled right next to Marshall, the warm bed combined with the comfort of Officer Bear began to calm him down immediately.
"Wow… You know…" Chase mumbled. "...you were right… I just… just hope… Ryder doesn't… mind too much..." Chase's eyed started to drift closed, fighting a losing battle against sleep.
"Hey! Don't fall asleep on me yet!" Marshall reached over and briefly shook Chase, jolting him awake to the sight of a grinning dalmatian.
"Oh, uh, sorry, heh."
"Alright." Marshall's tone turned gentler as his face shifted to a more serious one. "What did you dream about? What happened?"
Chase's face fell as he realised it was time to get down to brass tacks. "Well… Marshall…" Chase began. "Am I a jerk?"
"Huh? Wh-what does-? Wait. Is that what you dreamed about?"
"Kinda. But seriously. Do you think… I'm mean?"
"Do you really want me to answer that?"
"Yes!" Chase hissed, slightly annoyed at Marshall avoiding the question.
"Well, OK…" Marshall braced himself as he prepared to give his thoughts. "You can be pretty bossy and stubborn sometimes… And a little overprotective..."
Chase immediately got a sad look. "I thought so..."
"But you're not a jerk!" Marshall continued in a hurry. "Not by a long shot!"
"Well, that's what I dreamed about! I dreamed that I was yelling at you!"
"Yelling at me?" Marshall's brow furrowed. "Chase, that's not THAT weird… I mean, whenever any of us do something dangerous, you yell at us."
"Not like this! This time I was… really screaming at you!" Chase shouted, clearly being more affected than Marshall first thought. "I was… so angry at you, but I can't remember why!"
Marshall initially thought that Chase's nightmare couldn't have been that bad. But seeing how distressed the shepherd was getting was rapidly changing his mind. In truth, the trifecta of bad dreams from three months ago had slightly desensitised Marshall to bad dreams. But seeing Chase' distress was forcing him to reevaluate his position.
"Do you… at least remember what you said?" Marshall whispered gently.
"I think there was stuff like… 'You don't belong on the team', 'You're so useless'… What else… 'All you do is screw up', 'You're just a stupid clown'… All kinds of horrible things..." Chase squeezed his eyes shut as he recalled all of the insults he'd thrown at Marshall in his dream.
"That's a little like what I dreamed of…" Marshall remarked, a shiver coursing through his spine as he recalled his own bad dream. "Chase, do you actually think like that?"
Chase's reaction was immediate. As if Marshall's words triggered something within him. Chase rapidly slid towards Marshall and clung to his sides. "NO WAY!" he yelled in his face. "OF COURSE I DON'T! I'VE NEVER ONCE THOUGHT LIKE THAT ABOUT YOU OR ANYONE!"
Marshall jumped. "Whoa, Chase! Easy! Calm down! Deep breaths!"
Marshall quickly moved to put his arms around Chase, noticing that his breathing had quickened considerably. He started to feel guilty. It was clear as day to him that he'd just pressed all the wrong buttons. If the dalmatian needed any more decisive evidence that how the others viewed Chase was an issue close to the shepherd's heart, then he'd just got it. But right now, priority number one was calming Chase down. Marshall hugged the shepherd tightly, rubbing his back for good measure, listening as Chase's breathing slowed back down.
"Shhhhh… It's OK…" Marshall whispered. "It was just a dumb dream..."
"But it… Really hit home…" Chase whispered sadly. "I mean, the last thing I remember of that dream is you running away crying… And me screaming more awful things after you… Like… 'Coward'… and 'Big baby'… and saying that you should just go away..."
Marshall winced at the thought of such vicious words coming from a kind pup like Chase. "Chase, that really isn't you… At all." Marshall replied gently. "Now, like I said, you are pretty bossy and stubborn… and you do yell at us..."
"Thanks. Real encouraging." Chase replied icily.
"Let me finish, Chase." Marshall continued with a degree of force. "But that's all because you care! You care about all of us! You always worry about us! You hate to see us getting hurt, and even if you get too harsh, you always apologize later!"
Chase remained silent with his head turned away from Marshall, his nose buried under the covers.
"Aside from Ryder, you're our leader…" Marshall went on. "We'd be worried if you weren't overprotective… You've been like that the whole time we've been part of the Paw Patrol..."
"I guess…" Chase replied, uncertainty dripping off of his words. "But… Still… I give you a lot of grief, right? Whenever you do something dangerous, I always yell at you a whole lot…"
"What did I just say, Chase? It's because you worry about us."
"I know that!" Chase raised his voice once more. "But I get worried the most about you and Skye! When it comes to danger, you both always get the worst of it!"
Marshall couldn't deny that. They all went through great danger, but putting out fires and flying helicopters were both quite high on the scale. In fact, Chase seemed to make the most fuss over the pair of them more than the others.
"And… we've known each other the longest… You're… like my brother… So this dream made me think… What if one day I end up yelling at you… and I end up crossing the line?" If Marshall could see Chase's face, he'd note that his eyes were screwed shut as his voice began to crack. "What if I end up saying something I can't take back? Maybe one day… I'll end up driving you away by yelling at you… What if one day I yell at you and you never want to talk to me again… Or worse… What if… What if I n-never… never see you again… A-and… it'd be… it'd be all my fault..."
With every word, Chase sounded like he was getting closer and closer to tears, not helped by him shaking more and more with every word. Marshall felt like he'd just been jabbed in the heart. He knew that it was in Chase's nature as a worrywart to read them the riot act if they ever got in trouble, but he never thought that Chase was so self-conscious about it that he could imagine the worst-case scenario playing out like that. Marshall simply embraced Chase tighter still as he racked his brain for responses. Eventually, Marshall steeled himself, and opened his mouth once more.
"Chase…" Marshall began. "Think about it. Let's pretend that did happen. Let's pretend you really did yell at me so badly that I thought we weren't friends anymore. Remember that we share the Lookout with four more pups and Ryder. He's like our dad, really." Marshall cracked a fond smile at all of the times Ryder was there for both of them. "If we got into a big fight like that, everyone would wanna make sure we made up. They're our family, right? They all wouldn't just let us suffer after a fight like that. They'd make sure we got back together in the end."
Chase remained as silent as ever. But he was shaking a little less than before, which Marshall took as a good sign.
"And after that, I'm sure we both will have learned something." Marshall continued. "And then we'll be better friends than ever. I'd never leave you or the Paw Patrol. You know that. And you know me. Whenever we get into a fight, it doesn't matter how bad it is, we always forgive each other eventually, right?"
"...yeah?" Chase shakily replied. Clearly, he still wasn't convinced. But Marshall wasn't done.
"Not that any of that matters. Because I know you'd never say things like that. You wanna know why?" Marshall asked.
"...what… makes you so sure?" Chase countered shakily.
"(Whoa. Deja vu.)" Marshall thought with some amusement, before leaning in and whispering in Chase's ear, not letting up on the tight hug he had Chase in.
"Because you're Chase." Marshall whispered, before pulling back slightly and talking with a little more volume. "You're one of the nicest, bravest and toughest pups I know. You're our big brother… You're MY big brother… Saying all those horrible things isn't you at all. Maybe its some nasty, awful, kitty-eating Chase from another planet or something, but it's NOT. YOU."
Chase smiled slightly at Marshall's odd analogy as he took in every word the dalmatian was saying.
"You look out for all of us." Marshall continued. "You worry about all of us. All you want is to make sure that we're all OK at the end of the day. We get that. We know the real you, and the real you isn't anything like what you were in your dream. The fact that you yelled earlier? I'd say that's proof enough that you'd never say anything like that." Chase still didn't reply as Marshall continued to encourage him.
"In the end: You're hard on us, but we'd never want you to change." Marshall concluded. "You're our Chase. And always will be. Enough said."
There was a pause after that. It was only about ten seconds, but to Marshall, it felt like a lifetime, torturing him with questions of if he said the right thing or not. If he'd only ended up making things worse. But after the ten seconds had passed, Marshall immediately started to internally panic when he heard sniffling and weeping coming from his arms.
"Oh, Chase, it's OK… don't cry..." Marshall tried to soothe the sobbing shepherd.
On hearing this Chase finally looked Marshall in the eye, only to immediately vanquish Marshall's feeling of panic with the look on his face. His eyes were indeed flushed with tears which were running down his cheeks. But above all, Marshall noticed a smile on Chase's face that was so wide it may well split his head in two.
"A-and… And who's fault is that?!" Chase sobbed joyfully. "Y-you've made me so happy, I can't stop!"
"Well, in that case…" Marshall couldn't help but smile back, relief dripping off of his every word. "Go ahead and cry all you want..."
Marshall exhaled deeply with relief as Chase clung to him, sobbing happily the whole while. Those words were exactly what Chase needed to hear. That for as hard as Chase could be on him, Marshall knew perfectly well that Chase loved him to bits and cared deeply for him. As he did with the other pups. And Chase certainly felt far better as he cried into Marshall's fur with the spotted pup embracing him tightly. It had been a long time since Chase had felt so happy, and he, like Marshall had three months back, couldn't express his gratitude with mere words.
Eventually, Chase had stopped crying, his breaths becoming even and tranquil. Slowly, he moved from the hug to look at Marshall. His eyes were red from crying, but the smile on his face hadn't faded, even partially.
"What did I do to deserve a friend like you?" Chase whispered.
"I think I already told you." Marshall returned Chase's smile, licking his nose for good measure and causing Chase to giggle. "And besides, if we couldn't call it even a couple of months ago, we sure can now..."
Chase licked Marshall's face vigorously, an action that made Marshall giggle in return. Chase only stopped when he emitted a big yawn. Marshall found himself recoiling at Chase's dog breath.
"Heh... Looks like... you're ready to... get some sleep, now." Marshall couldn't stop himself from yawning in turn. The fatigue of the night had finally caught up with the pair of them, and they were finally ready to get some much-needed rest.
"Sure am…" Chase mumbled. "Are you?"
"Yeah… Forgot how tiring talking about bad dreams was…" Marshall found himself snuggling into Chase's fur. "And how soft you were..."
"Heh… Look who's… talking..." Chase replied.
The pups finally had it in them to go back to sleep. Marshall was tired to begin with, but knowing that Chase's nightmare could finally stop haunting him, and Chase knowing that viciousness like that was simply not in the cards for him comforted the pair of them enough to be able to get some rest. The pair's teddies may have been pushed to one side, but Chase was still able to use one of his paws to reach over and press the button located in Officer Bear's nose.
As much as the soft lullaby soothed the pair of them and as much as they struggled to stay awake, Marshall couldn't help but voice confusion.
"Chase?" Marshall slurred. "Aren't you… aren't you gonna… bring in… Officer Bear?"
"Nah…" Chase sleepily replied. "I… I don't need that… old teddy..."
Chase punctuated his response with a loving nuzzle. "I've got a better one."
Marshall briefly froze, before responding in kind, nuzzling Chase as vigorously as he could and further tightening his hug. But just before falling asleep in each other's arms, the two were able to drowsily whisper to each other.
"Love you, Marshall..."
"Love you too, Chase..."
I LIVE.
First of all, I'm very sorry for keeping anyone waiting like this. I've had my one-shot collection kicking around since shortly after I finished Bulldog in a Bind, but for a plethora of reasons, I've only finished them recently. Life, mostly. Times have been... stressful for me lately, and as you may imagine, that doesn't leave a great deal of time for writing. Especially not seven separate stories all in one go. Anthology writing: NOT. EVEN. ONCE. Now don't worry, I'll let all my complaints out in the afterword I plan to write.
The next thing I feel the need to tell you about is my schedule for this time: One new story will be uploaded to this collection every Wednesday and Sunday, and it'll consist of a heavier story on Wednesday, followed by a more light, fluffy one on Sunday. That should bring the upload schedule up to mid-May. I previously said that the schedule would be more frequent than this. I understand that I'm going back on my word for that one, and to that end, I'm very sorry. But I feel like this is a good way of stretching out the uploads over a decent pace. Otherwise, I feel like I'd be uploading them too close together. This collection will consist of a series of one-shots between my two favourite characters on this show, and it will show off the friendly relationship the two have (Sorry, shippers. No romance here). Hurt/Comfort is listed as a theme because that's the most common one in this collection.
And one more thing: I've said in the past that this would possibly be the last thing I wrote. Well... once again, I find myself going back on my word. I still have it in me, but I'll wait until the afterword to fill you all in...
Now... anything else...? Oh, right, Return to Fear.
I still feel to this day like Primary Fears is the best thing I've written to date on this site, and I also got another idea that I could've added to it. But I wouldn't want to upload an entire fic about it, so to that end, I chose to write a new one-shot about it. This time with Chase being on the receiving end of the comforting, and Marshall being on the giving end. I can't imagine that this would be as good as Primary Fears itself, but hey, I still felt like continuing it somehow.
One final note: The cover of this fic was, once again, made for me by the wonderful Zojak. Thank you!
And now, I'll leave you with a preview of my next one-shot, due to be uploaded Sunday. This will be one of the more lighthearted ones of the group, and- Sweet mother of monkey milk, I've been rambling. I'd better stop here. Thanks for listening (if you haven't tuned out from my blather), and I hope to see you Sunday for next time.
MINDING THE MEDIC
Marshall has always been seen as the go-to pup for illness and injury in Adventure Bay. Ever since his training as an EMT, his medical knowledge has proven invaluable many a time. But when Marshall himself is taken out of action by an illness and with Katie and the vet unavailable, one of the pups will have to step out of their comfort zone to find out what is wrong.
