Title- Glittery
Author- Kàra
Summary- We The Lits try to rewrite The Real Paul Anka every which way; it's a requirement. But what about the following episode? Just after Rory has thrown away her final (canon) chance at being happy with her soul mate, a very different girl ties her life to a man who is completely wrong for her. But when Lane's wedding is crashed, might she get a second chance at happily ever after? BandMates.
A/N- I'll be honest: I actually like Lane a whole lot more than I like Rory. She's by far a more admirable person, and she's just a helluva lot more fun. Anyway, I kind of realized that, while we spend all this time obsessively writing Lit or JJ (or even Rogan or BB, neither of which I can really stomach, though I respect the opinions of those self-deluded shippers), we just sort of gloss over the equally worthy drama that's going on in the lives of the supporting characters to the Gilmore Girls. So here's a bit of Lane-centric drama for your reading pleasure! (Wow, my first attempt at something that's not a Lit... how shocking! Though I suspect that some Lit will creep into the background as this goes along.)
Also, I had no clue if there was actually a witty, Gilmoreish ship name for Lane's romantic entanglements, so I've come up with a few. Punch Pals is the odious Lane/Zach pairing, while the charming and infinitely preferable Lane/Dave shipping shall henceforth be called BandMates.
1. If You Love It, Set It Free
As she watches her fiancé- tomorrow, he'll bear the title of husband- play foosball with Brian and Marcus, Lane sighs. This night has not been everything she expected. She wanted a crazy bachelorette party. Maybe not a male stripper and a wild, "Dude, Where's My Car?" type of night, but at least she wanted to get very, very drunk with her girlfriends and stare at Richard Gere's penis for the full 4.6 seconds it was visible on-screen.
Actually, her whole relationship with Zach hasn't been quite what she expected. Their first date was a study in exactly what they'd done with the guys the night before. It wasn't special, it wasn't romantic. The rest of their courtship followed the same course. A little off-kilter, a little dull. Zach was unexpectedly sweet, underneath the stereotypical-lead-singer front, and he'd been very patient with her no-sex-until-marriage policy, but it hadn't really been... Lane didn't know what. But it had lacked something. She never expected glitz and wildly romantic surprise weekend getaways- they don't have enough money for that. But it hasn't been all shimmery and glowy the way she would have liked.
The proposal, too, was lacking. At the time, she thought it was adorable and romantic, Zach seeking her out in the diner and making proclamations of love to her in the diner, in front of everyone, like a scene from a movie. But in retrospect, she couldn't help but think that she'd have liked it to be a bit more private. She would have liked to hear those same sentiments expressed when they were alone so that she could cherish the words, store them up in her heart and store them away like the treasures they ought to be.
Now her bachelorette party, also a disappointment. Zach and his guy friends were apparently having a blast playing foosball and table hockey and ping pong. Sookie and Kyon both appear tipsy (Kyon is a surprise, Sookie is not). Lorelai and a handful of Lane's Stars Hollow High friends are giggling madly in the corner, while Rory sits halfway between them and the more isolated Lane, watching the group and smiling slightly.
It iss the night before her wedding, supposedly the most exciting night of her life, and Lane can't help but feel jealous of her best friend. Rory has had it all, everything Lane ever wanted. All the girlish daydreams Lane ever entertained (but never really thought she would get), Rory had lived out. The sweet, loving, caring first boyfriend. The rebel she had tamed without even meaning to (and though she refused to give any details, Lane knew Rory had seen Jess the week before, and she suspected that a new chapter in that never-ending book had just been written). The guy-friend who fell in unrequited love with her. Now the dashing, wealthy suitor who, though he certainly appeared to have chinks in his armor, was charming and complimentary to Rory nevertheless.
Rory had it all. She'd experienced all the things Lane secretly dreamed of. Though she knew that the experience had been traumatic and emotionally draining on her friend, Lane always wished that she had an old flame who would come blasting back into her life to proclaim his undying love.
That wouldn't happen, though. She's only really had one serious relationship besides Zack, and one thing Lane is really certain of is that Dave Rygalski left her behind long, long ago.
California had loomed nearer and nearer as that final summer had progressed, and eventually, Lane had known what she had to do...
~FLASHBACK~
"I've only got a week left before I have to go," Dave said sadly.
They were lying curled up on a blanket under the cloudless night sky. Mrs. Kim thought that Lane was visiting Rory to watch reruns of Davey and Goliath, but she had made arrangements to meet Dave instead. It had been a bittersweet summer, both of them dreading the separation that was coming, wanting to spend every possible moment with each other, to enjoy this while they could, but at the same time, not wanting to get in any deeper than they already were, because it would hurt that much more.
"I know," Lane said, a little more sharply than she intended.
"I hate that we're going to be so far away from each other," he said, still not looking at her, staring at the stars.
For a long moment he was silent, and she could almost hear his thoughts whirring. That was the sick beauty of this- despite her attempts to avoid him, not wanting the goodbye to be worse than it had to, they had spent a great deal of time together, stealing seconds from Mrs. Kim's purse, playing at picking Love's pocket. And as a result of all these little hours here and there, an energy has developed between them. Or maybe it was already there. Now, though, it's undeniable and beautiful and sad and Lane hates it, because this isn't just some teenaged fantasy anymore. This is something real, and it's about to end and she hates it.
Dave finally voices the thoughts that he's been mulling over for long seconds, and it's exactly what she predicted. "But I was thinking, we can write to each other, and your mother has been really good about letting me call for more than ten minutes, lately. And I might be able to swing visits on long weekends, and there's always holidays, and then there's next summer, and eventually college is over with, right?"
It's beautiful, that he's willing to work around her restrictions, that he's willing to make long-term plans (years, really, when she thinks about what he's actually saying). She turns it over in her mind. Dave is willing to wait for her. Dave. Is willing to wait for her. Dave is willing to wait. For her.
It's beautiful and it's terrifying. It's all she's ever really wanted. More than she wants to be a drummer, more than she wants to be able to be free to be herself always, Lane just wants someone to see her, all the contrasting sides of her, and love her for that and for everything else. And now she might just have it within her grasp, and being so close to the thing she's always wanted terrifies her.
If you have your heart's desire, that means you can lose it, too.
This started so surprisingly easily. For all the complexities of actually being together, the complicated systems they had to work out to make their relationship viable, the emotions came remarkably easily. He liked her. A lot. She liked him. A lot. It was simple. It was so easy.
If it started easily, it could end easily. There was every chance he would meet some beautiful, funky, rocker girl in California. Dave, being Dave, would never go for her. He would stay with Lane out of a sense of obligation, because that was just the kind of guy he was. But she couldn't let that happen. She couldn't let him pass up what might be great opportunities just because he felt guilty or obligated or like he owed her something. She didn't want him to feel trapped in this relationship. She had known the feeling of being trapped for too long to wish it on anyone.
While all this had been going on in her head, Dave had kept talking, outlining his plans for the future. "...and if all else fails, I can send my letters through Rory."
"Dave," she said quietly. "No."
"What?" His expression was so innocently confused, it broke her heart. "I mean, I guess she'd be too busy with school and stuff, so maybe not Rory. But I'm on pretty good terms with Gypsy. Maybe she'd be willing to-"
"No, Dave, that's not what I mean," Lane said, breathing deeply in an attempt to keep her eyes dry. "I can't do this. Being with you, but not being with you... it's too hard. Sneaking around in Stars Hollow to appease my mother, that's one thing. Not seeing you at all... I can't do it. I'm sorry, Dave."
He didn't seem to have any reply to that. He just nodded silently, accepting it. Unsure what else to do or say, she rose to her feet and walked away.
That was the last time Lane Kim had ever spoken to Dave Rygalski, but the scars he left on her heart never really went away.
~END FLASHBACK~
No, there is no analogue to Jess Mariano, not for Lane. She has her Zach, and even if it's lackluster, it has to be enough. He wrote a song with her mother for her. Isn't that proof enough that this is where she's supposed to be? That this is the man who she was meant to be with all along?
So what if it's not everything it's supposed to be? So what if her heart, instead of going into absolute palpitations every time she hears Zach's name, merely gives a dull thump when she sees him? Real life isn't the fairytale Rory has lived in for so long. Love isn't about palpitations and the feeling that you might explode from happiness. That's a thing of teenage passions. Real, grown-up love is a more subdued affair. Rory might have the glittery, glamorous love life that any girl would envy, but Lane's got her feet on the floor.
Tomorrow, she is marrying Zach Van Gerbig. She'll become Lane Van Gerbig. Oh God that sounds weird. Oh God! She can't do this! She can't do this!
Yes she can. At least for tonight, she is Lane Kim, daughter of a long heritage of secret lives, and she is strong enough to do this. It's just the beer talking, she's sure.
Lane reaches for a pretzel, needing to dilute the alcohol in her stomach with something.
What no one, not even herself, notices is that on her napkin which she used as a doodling pad throughout her trip down memory lane, she scribed the words: Lane Rygalsi. It looks better than the alternative that will be awaiting her at the altar tomorrow.
A/N2- I don't expect to write much for this story. It's going to be my ongoing background project, until such time as I get Paperthin Hymn done.
