Authors note: I used to be so poetic naming these chapters. I'm ashamed of myself. Anyway for those of you who waited two years for Enough is enough to be completed here is the long awaited sequel. It took me a bit to write it but hey, I promised what I promised. Hopefully it will live up to what you have come to expect from Enough is Enough. This chapter is a bit longer and I know that some of you want longer chapters. I'm working on it. I promise. Anyway, read, review and enjoy.
ATTENTION READERS: THIS IS A SEQUEL! If you want to read the original please go to Enough is enough on my profile page. Or not, that's cool too. It's all up to you. Anyway, please review.
Regret
Mello ignored the persistent tapping that came to his shoulder. He continued his staring constant with the far clear off white wall on the other side of the room. There was no reason for him to look anywhere else, he was guilty. He knew he was guilty and had done the justice system a kindness by just confessing all his sins then and there. Even if God wasn't watching him anymore at least someone was willing to listen. He was positive that God wasn't watching him anymore but he sometimes still prayed that God had taken Matt and now held him in safety. Something that he had lost sight of so long ago and he had never noticed it. He shook his head causing himself to blink before sighing as another tap came to his shoulder.
If he had really wanted to when he was brought in he could have easily pleaded insanity like Roger believed him to. The man had even offered to hire him a lawyer as long as once the case was won he would come back and spend the remainder of his lifetime as a professor to those test subjects in that place. He had declined. Besides, he could have simply defended himself if it was needed; this whole trial was a farce but was apparently required. He could have run miles around everyone and anyone who stepped foot into this courtroom the say way he had in Persuasive Arguments class back at Wammy house. He could have reduced this room to tears but he didn't feel like it anymore. He didn't feel like much anymore. He wanted to be punished by this world and the next.
"Would you please stand up Mello?" The woman beside him begged quietly looking close to tears. Whether they were angry tears or simply exasperated ones he couldn't tell and personally didn't care. Her name was Clara Montgomery. She had been the court appointed lawyer for his defense and from what he had gathered spending day after day with her she was quite a fragile individual. She spent her time begging him to do what she asked of him and telling him to stop making comments about the jury it wouldn't help his case. "Mello, please. People are becoming annoyed; they'll send the uniformed men to make you stand."
He shrugged, "Police are police no matter where you go." Which was hysterically true no matter where you go. He remembered faintly the following moments of him cradling Matt's body in his arms Hallie Linder and Touta Matsuda pulling Matt away and pinning him mercilessly to the floor even accompanied with a firm boot on the back even though he wasn't fighting. He had been in too much shock at the dark, vague and sparkless intelligent green eyes that stared listlessly into the space ahead. Even now he couldn't come to terms with Matt being dead.
Damn Mell, you really are a heartless wanker. The lady's about to cry just stand up for her. You were the only that always said that chivalry never died. You're being fucking selfish.
The blond shifted slightly before sitting up and glancing around looking for the source of that voice. His voice. How dare they fuck with him in his voice?
Instead all he received was a confused stare from Clara. "Are you okay Mello?" She questioned glancing back at Roger who stood leaning slightly on his cane watching him also. "Mello?"
He sneered, "Dammit, stop saying my name you needy bitch." He stood folding his arms over his chest ignoring the clanking of the chains around him on his hands and feet. "What the fuck do you want?"
She sighed pulling him back down when the advisor told the room they could return to being seated. "They're going to bring in a witness, could you please not…"
"We would like to call N to the stand." The clean cut man began barely taking consideration to glance back towards Mello whose hands instantly gripped the handles of the chair.
Clara whined, "Please Mello, I've been told about the two of you. The worse thing that you can do right now is to yell at him. You've pleaded guilty, that's a given but right now you're fighting against the death penalty. Please, calm down. Please." She gently grasped his shoulder and he angrily shook it off his ice blue eyes narrowed as another young man brought in the computer monitor and set it behind the stand. Almost as instantly the jury began whispering to each other.
"N would you like to explain why you can't be here with us today." The suited man requested beginning his leisure walk across the floor as he waited for his answer. "The jury would like to know."
There was several seconds of silence from the monitors before the animated voice responded, "I am very sickly and therefore I cannot be there in person today. I apologize."
Mello instantly scoffed, "Bullshit. N's just an anti-social freak ass." He stared directly at the computer as if Near could feel his glaring hatred through the monitor. He couldn't, he probably didn't even know that Mello was looking at him but the kid had enough intelligence to guess something like that. They had spent years together back at Wammy house, though they had never been close. At least in the way in this suited asshole was about to question Near.
"Hello to you also Mello." Near said at almost a whisper. "I'm glad that you're in high spirits today."
"Fuck you." Mello nearly hissed as Clara grabbed his orange jumpsuit and tugged hastily glancing at the jury. "Why'd you decide to do this Near? Trying to fuck me over one more time before I go out?"
A sound that almost resembled a laugh came from the computer, "Of course not Mello. You know that I've always admired you. I didn't want to have to take you in the way that I did but you murdered someone. You've murdered others, but you murdered your lover. I told you that it would happen but you wouldn't let him go. He wanted you to let him go. He was happy with…"
Mello slammed his hands down on the table, "That's bullshit and you know it N! Matty would have never been happy with that outgoing son of a bitch." His eyes were narrowed into extreme daggers. He tugged his arm away from Clara, "If anything all of this was your fucking fault. All of this is your fault and you know it. You're probably laughing your ass off in your little hiding hole holding your fucking action figures and rocking."
The jury's eyes stopped on Mello for several seconds before drifting back towards the computer that had remained quiet since the outburst. Even the judge looked in awe before the whisper returned, "I was only trying to help you Mello. I never thought it would go this far. I never believed that you had it in your to kill Matt. I never…."
"Well it happened." He replied his arms sagging slightly in defeat as he settled back into his seat. "I just want all of this to be over with. All of it."
The suited man, Mr. Allen cleared his throat as he turned back to the computer. "Ah, well that was unexpected." He glanced to the judge who seemed to be slowly regaining his own composure before nodding for the man to continue. "Thank you. I would like to ask that Mello not interrupt any longer. You've had your moment, please remain quiet at this point." He could feel the annoyance seeping from the blond but he kept his back turned from him. "Now, N you've known Mello for several years. In your own opinion what type of person is Mello?"
Clara patted Mello's hand slightly but didn't glance at him with Near responded. "Mello…is very competitive but holds an explicit amount of intelligence that creates that competition. He's not overly cruel but is prone to fits of anger and rage but as long as I've known him Matt had always been able to calm him down. I don't know where everything went wrong." The voice though deadpan held a note of sadness anyway. "Mello tries to do good for people but his competitiveness clouds his vision and it ends up with him coming out last. That is the Mello that I know.
Mr. Allen nodded glancing towards Mello finally but he kept his cold grace intact as he stared at the blond. "And in your opinion what type of person was Matt?" He questioned watching Mello's reaction to the question and gauged it. The blond looked down.
Near breathed in deeply, "Matt didn't look for trouble without prompting. He spent a lot of his time alone unless it was with Mello. He was usually the fire blanket for Mello's extreme outbursts. He always knew what to do the calm him down even though it seems random to everyone else. Matt kept to himself and didn't say much unless prompted. He and Mello shared a very close relationship which was later recognized as lovers. Matt needed Mello as much as Mello needed Matt. That is the Matt that I knew."
He nodded thinking for a few seconds before smiling towards the jury. "There you have it folks. One a fire tempered angry sadist and the other a quiet and conservative young man that spent his time alone. A loner if you will."
"I never said that Matt was conservative. Actually, he was quite the opposite. Mello wasn't the only one gearing their considered fun. Matt was an equal role to it all before the split."
"Split?" Allen questioned.
"We're not talking about the split Mr. Allen. It is irrelevant. We are talking about the character of Mello and Matt. Matt was not conservative. For lack of better words Matt was Matt. He was his own person at the same time of echoing and blending in with everyone else. He was unique without showing it. He was a genius without wanting to be. Matt was Matt."
Allen coughed slightly taking his time to rolling his eyes at the monitor. "I see. In that case I would like for you to describe the events leading up to the death Matt and the capture of Mello in your own words."
Near sighed, "I had been able to track Mello down using his cellphone. Now most phones come with a tracking device and if you are skilled enough even if one has turned it off you can turn it back on unless they had completely removed it from the phone. Luckily for our investigations Mello had completely overlooked that aspect, something that Matt did not. That was the reason we could not actively track his phone. Matt was a computer genius, he wouldn't have messed something so simplistic up like that. My companions I shall call A and B kept in contact with me all day in the hopes that we could get Matt out safely. In my first evaluation I simply believed that Matt had fled with Mello due to previous circumstances. Upon calling the cellular unit to assure that it was Mello's I was aware that Mello was no longer in his correct state of mind. Unlike now, he is perfectly fine. Whatever had transpired between both Matt and Mello was unsure but I knew for Matt's sake we had to get him out before apprehending Mello. Unfortunately, everything did not pan out as it originally planned."
The man nodded, "I see. What exactly happened once you arrived at the home."
"It was actually a warehouse." Near correctly quietly. Agent A remained with me as Agent A usually does. They are my companion and in situations like this it is best that they accompany me. Agent B on the other hand was looking out for what was best for Matt and I decided that with Mello's distractive tendencies I would be able to lure him away just long enough that Agent B would be able to get in, get Matt and leave before my other Agents arrived for Mello. Another one of Mello's tendencies is to be unpredictable and he didn't take the bait as well as I originally believed that he would and instantly went back for Matt. That is how the situation at hand transpired."
Mello shifted, "My, N haven't you said a mouthful. Please do explain how I shot Matty and how it is that you view everything that happened within that room."
"Mello did not mean to shoot Matt." Near responded almost instantly catching everyone even Mello off. "Mello did not mean to, it was a slip of Mello's hand that caused the death of Matt. Accidental as it was Mello's reaction after Matt's death proves that N is correct. Mello would have never killed Matt not even when Mello had lost himself. He would never kill Matt."
The blond sneered, "I am perfectly capable of holding a gun N. There is no such thing as a slip of the wrist for me."
"Mello did not mean to shoot Matt." Near said again.
The blond glared, "How the fuck would you know. Someone who doesn't know a damn thing about guns, weapons or even outside. And if I said that I meant to shoot Matt because I believed that he was going to leave me."
"Mello would be lying." He whispered. "Mello would never hurt Matt intentionally."
He's right though. I didn't understand what got into you those past months. Then I found out about Lotus and I really didn't understand. Why keep me around when you had someone more like you? Why bother going through so much just to bring me back every time? Why not care about Lotus's death and come and get me. I figured it out finally.
He settled back going back to his contest with the wall. For once in his life he agreed with Near.
Mello had few emotions left when viewing the outside world at this point but surprise was one of them. He has basically told the jury that he had murdered Matt on purpose but he guessed that Near's emotionless words was enough for them to let him off for the death penalty that he had wanted so bad. Instead, they gave him life between a regular prison and psychiatric facility all rolled into one gloriously named St. Peters insane asylum. He almost lost his shit when he heard the name but instead he turned and thanked Clara for her, if not ill-advised position, but kind position. She hadn't quit on him like he had originally believed. She had even said that she would visit him if he would have liked that.
In all his years he had never imagined that he would actually wind up in prison. Maybe an asylum but never a prison though he wasn't currently exactly sure which the place truly was. The way they described it, it was a combination of them both at least until the appeal Roger had placed in was heard out. The older gentleman wanted Mello with him for both safety sake and other undisclosed reasons. Personally, he could do without seeing the old man every day of his life as yet another reminder of the childhood and life that he had once shared with Matt. Everything at this point was a reminder and the more he cleared his mind the more he could hear his voice.
Shit must suck. I mean I never thought that you'd end up in a crazy house. Maybe Near, I always suspected that he'd work himself out and finally lose it for a while. Ya'know Roger would call you and ask you to be L until Near got his shit together but I never thought that you would…wind up here. You're the least crazy person that I know Mello. Irrational and sometimes irate but never insane. That's something that not many people can use to describe you.
"Tell me about it." He whispered staring out the window watching the world pass him by. It would most likely be the last time he would see the world like this and he couldn't even find it in himself to cherish it. They hadn't heard him out, he wanted to go. He wanted to leave this world and go to hell. Hell would be where Matty was. That was where he wanted to be also. Though, even suicide was out of his was a bit dramatic for him and so he remained quiet thinking of ways he could get what he wanted.
If you go to hell you won't find me Mell. I keep trying to tell you this but you're not listening. Also, killing yourself is so dramatic, though it would fit you in a way as long as it's not cliché.
"Matt, shut the fuck up." He mumbled closing his eyes slightly blowing his blond hair out his face. He wondered if they would cut it all off. That was certainly the last thing that he wanted. He killed his lover, was sent to prison and then exposing his scar to the whole fucking world.
I think it's fucking sexy. I keep trying to tell you you're beautiful, princess.
Mello shifted ready to scream at the red head before pausing completely. Matt was dead. There was no way that he could be sitting here calling him beautiful like he used to He paled a bit before laying back. Maybe he really had lost his marble permanently. He wouldn't put it past himself. His whole world had crumbled when he had killed Matty and at this point there was no way that he would be able to rebuild it. Everything about this was his fault. If he could have just realized what he had before…
Princess. Princess…Hello? I keep fucking talking and you keep fucking ignoring me. That's really fucked up you know.
He sighed, "I get it. I'm a crazy fuck. I'm cracked in the head; now leave me the fuck alone to think about it."
"What the fuck are you back there mumbling about blondie?" The guard called from the front of the bus causing a quiet chuckle from the driver. When Mello didn't respond he stood, "Did you hear me pretty boy?"
Mello shifted his blue gaze clear from a slight part in his hair, "the minute I say something to you I promise you'll fucking know about it. Until then shut the fuck up and sit down."
The man sneered stomping forward on the moving bus before leaning over the seat to look at Mello. "I know all about you. We knew we were getting you before they even read your damn conviction. You're the fuck up that gunned down his lover after going insane and then like a dumbass confessed. Oh yeah, the professor knows all about your pretty boy. He likes'em pretty and you fit that real well." He smirked, "Well half of you at least." He almost looked as if he was going to ready forward and move the blonds hair but stopped short. "He'll break that spirit of yours. He always does."
"Oh goodie, I'm so motherfucking excited." He spat back almost rearing his leg into the guards back but found something was holding him to the seat. Apparently it was that asshole's lucky day. And who the hell was the Professor?
It was the catcalls that Mello didn't think that he was going to be able to get used to. After his embarrassing body check they led him down the cell hall where it began. Sure, he may have been gay with Matt but none of these fucks stood a chance and he was certainly willing to show them that when the time came. As the guards led him forward it started off quietly before full on profane screams were heard in his direction. He bowed his head slightly as the guards looked at him in amusement.
Faintly he could hear the click of one of the cells sliding open. Inwardly he knew that it would be for him, but he didn't want to believe it. He didn't want to believe any of this but so far each passing moment it had become more and more true. He'd finally have to come to the realization that Matty was gone. He didn't even get the chance to go to his funeral.
"Touta!" One guard called out loudly before laughing slightly. "What are you doing after work?"
Mello's head instantly lifted and he stared awestruck at the dark haired man in front of him. It literally took all his will to keep from tackling him to the ground and slamming his fist into his face. If he hadn't filled Matt's head. If he hadn't come into their life. If he hadn't tried to take Matty away from him…then the red head would still be here with them all and he wouldn't be in jail. "Matsuda." He hissed vehemently.
Matsuda looked unphased, "Mello, welcome to St. Peter's Asylum for the Insane. Your new home." He almost looked like he wanted to smirk before gesturing to the inside of the cell. "It comes with a roommate, Johan over there. Don't mind him, he's not in the same boat as you but I'm sure you'll get to know him really well. A bunk bed of sorts, you get bottom because Jonah is on top. A toilet and a sink. Good luck, the Professor has requested to see you but unfortunately he's out at the moment. Either he'll call you later today or early tomorrow so be looking out for a guard to drag you up."
Mello glanced sideways at the sarcastic remarks, "Oh, how very kind of you Touta."
The dark haired man raised his arm giving the blond a firm push forward into the cell before it slammed closed behind him. "To you I am Matsuda. It's your fault Matty isn't with me any longer and I'll make sure that while you're here your life will be hell just like you made his." He turned instantly back to the guards who hadn't heard his nearly silent whispers. "Tonight, nothing much. I have to work pretty late so maybe we can go out for drinks tomorrow." He turned heading down the walkway with the other guards.
Mello caught himself on the post of the bed glaring at the dark haired individual walking away. Oh fucking hell this wasn't going to end well for either of them. He almost yelled something back before a firm tap on his shoulder came and he spun, "What the fuck do you want?" He was already about to have a raging fit and now this man decides to touch him. What the fuck?
Johan blinked dark green eyes several times before raising an eyebrow. The gesture was so familiar that all of Mello's anger ran out of him. No, but this man wasn't Matt. His pale skin, green eyes and red hair was what was triggering Mello's memory. The cuts that lined Johan's arms weren't like Matt and instead of hiding his face Johan had his hair pulled back into a lengthy ponytail. Though handsome Mello instantly knew why Johan was here when he opened his mouth. "My brother," He said softly. "You have strayed from the Lord and he is looking for your love. Come home, my son. Come home." He pulled Mello into a slightly awkward hug. "Come home to the lord. He wants you to be home. He wants your beautiful love."
Mello was slightly confused until the feeling of fingers running down his spine cause enough of a reason that his fist connected firmly with Jonan's stomach. The man sprawled backwards, "I'm fucking Catholic, trust me I know where my eternal soul is going. Touch me again and I'll do more than just tap you."
The man rubbed his stomach before pulling himself to his knees almost in a perfect imitation of Matt. "Well damn." He mumbled folding his arms over his chest. "Mell, slow your fucking roll. Always hitting people and not giving them a chance to ask questions or even fucking talk."
The blond raised an eyebrow, "Excuse me?"
He waved him off, "I doubt that you'll believe the likes of me but…it's me. Matt."
