Title: The Biggest Brain or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Facebook Apps (double drabble)
Author: Singing Violin
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Rating: K+
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine. Facebook application is not mine.
Dedication: For Dana, who introduced me to the Facebook application "Who's Got The Biggest Brain?" and who keeps me playing by topping my high score every time I beat hers, and for Lillian, whose high score when I started seemed insurmountable.
Author's note: If you aren't on Facebook or haven't played the game, this probably won't seem terribly relevant to you, but all you really need to know is that it's a game that purportedly measures the size of your brain (by how fast and accurately you can do simple arithmetic, logic, and visual things) and scores are ranked in terms of the size of various creatures' brains. Generally the first time you play, you won't do so well, but you improve quickly with practice, but then tire and get worse again, but you keep playing because it's addictive or because you want to beat a friend.
"Chakotay," Kathryn demanded, "do I look like a Neanderthal to you?"
Uncomfortably, the commander swallowed, wondering whether this was a trick question. "No?"
"Damn straight, Commander!" she replied. "Get Tom Paris in here now!"
"Aye, Captain," he answered, and did as she bade.
Moments later, the lieutenant stood at attention in front of his commanding officers, looking suspiciously like he was suppressing giggles.
"Explain, Mister Paris, why my PADD is insulting me! And don't try to deny it; it's got your name written all over it."
"Sorry, Captain, but you'll improve with practice. That wasn't a report. It was a game."
"Oh? And how did you do?" she asked suspiciously.
"Genius," he answered proudly.
Chakotay's face indicated he knew more than he'd let on. She turned to him. "Commander, have you also played this game?"
"Aye, Captain," he answered guiltily.
"And what was your score?" she asked.
"Space Ace!" he answered proudly as Paris slouched slightly, realizing he'd been beat.
"Hmm," the captain mused, "and has anyone topped that?"
Chakotay coughed. "Well, aptly, Seven's a cyborg."
"Well, Lieutenant, Commander. Obviously this needs to be corrected. Dismissed. For now."
Three days later, the captain proudly sported the winning title of "Squidlian."
