So sweet Darlin',

Why don't you pretend we were just a dream?
It's cool, baby, it doesn't matter anyway…

("Just Missed The Train" by Kelly Clarkson)

………………………………………………………………………………………

2 Years 7 Months 23 Days

Prologue: Sweet Darlin' (Bella's POV)

Time does heal all wounds, I believe that from experience - but nobody ever told me that it couldn't heal them completely. God, why did you make life so unfair? I want so badly to get away from the endless cycle I've become fossilized in. Numbness has engulfed me to no end. I long for the warm embrace that erased my worries so easily before…. I hate this emptiness. I…

I don't know anymore.

I don't know how to go back to him anymore.

Of all the things that manage to affect me - like my fear of thunder, or aversion to pickles - none could do so much damage such as the next two words I'm about to name…

Edward Cullen.

I knew from the moment I laid eyes on him during the student orientation day in our freshman year that I had found the man I would spend the rest of my life with. My best friend for life.

A week had passed, and the excitement of people (mainly girls) around him had not died down at all. Only he seemed to be indifferent to them, giving them smiles that didn't reach his eyes, and replied with short, polite answers to their obstinate small talk. I knew of this because my eyes couldn't be pried away from his face. Apparently, the people trying to become friends with him couldn't get something that obvious - that he wasn't having a good time.

They were only looking at the surface and nothing beyond his appearance. His face that was angular at just the right places, the piercing green of his eyes… looking as if they could see right through you, and lastly, the devastatingly hypnotizing crooked smile he flashed which signaled when he was genuinely happy. They knew nothing of the underlying emotions that swayed him.

I couldn't stand it, he looked so alone. Amongst the sea of people around him, I saw that he was just too polite to ask to be excused, or much more refuse anyone for anything. I wanted to help.

Aside from that… I knew, oh believe me, I knew, I knew of the ogling eyes of the girls - and even some guys - that were focused on him. I was one of them.

The only exception I had from the others was that I had let go of all my inhibitions for one moment and did the unthinkable: as a child would, I walked up to him during lunch while he was seated alone and simple asked, "Hi, Edward! Uh, sorry, umm… don't take this the weird way, dude. I mean, you looked pretty uncomfortable around those… people… and so yeah. What I wanted to say was, do you wanna be friends? Like, friend friends? And I actually mean it!" I smiled the friendliest smile I could, completely aware of the blush that had crept its way up to my hairline. I held my breath as I dreaded for his reply…

This was not something I would normally do.

In the back of my mind, a small voice was chanting: what has gotten INTO YOU?! But way to go, Bella! But… !! What was that?! Wait, except you ROCKED!! It was like a mental tug of war, neither side winning. I had really considered my 14 year old brain that of a 9 year old ones instead, developmentally (as of that moment, at least).

Then suddenly, as if my brain could handle more debate in its far recesses, I was given a reaction that made me feel like a child on Christmas morning receiving the exact same gift she wanted. He shot me his crooked smile with no trace of suspicion nor skepticism, the sign that he was actually delighted.

"I would like that very much, Bella," as he took out his hand, asking for a handshake. I was more than happy to oblige. "Please sit down and eat lunch with me."

How did he know my name?

I was just glad enough that he said yes to my proposition, and even invited me to eat with him, that I simply let my curiosity go and shook his hand. Still grinning, I obediently complied and sat down in front of him.

"Thank you, Edward." As another blushed crept up my cheeks, if that was possible.

"So, how was your day so far?" he started, sounding as if we were childhood friends, strangeness completely gone. Our conversation just continued from there… feeling as if it was the most natural thing to do.

I'm pretty sure I was blushing a thousand shades of crimson the whole time, but I didn't care. I didn't care where I was, who I was, or if time stopped altogether. In the cafeteria of a busy high school, me… plain Jane Bella, was eating together with my new friend.

Edward Cullen.

It felt like I had sealed my fate with that last word…

Friend.

Edward Cullen.

What have I done?

And that is how the invincible Edward Cullen became my best friend. Nothing big, really, from what you could see on the surface. But nobody could tell of the chaos of the war that was going on in my heart during the duration of high school… at least that's what I'd hope.

I didn't know at the time… No, the 14 year old me at the time did not know how much of an impact this boy would make on my life. I didn't know that I'd be here… 8 years later, reminiscing about the "good old days". Nostalgia and longing swollen in my heart.

I'm 22 years old now. I was an English major at the University of Southern California just half a year ago, currently a bookstore owner in Monrovia, California. Yes, I'm Isabella Swan… your typical Plain Jane, yes indeed.

It's been 2 years, 7 months and 23 days since I've last seen him - the reason I live.

Not that I'm counting or anything.

………………………………………………………………………………………

Author's notes:

The reason behind the song: I didn't mean it for like, Bella saying bye to Edward or something. I just meant it… in the opposite way. Yes, I know, my brain works backwards sometimes lol. Sometimes I catch myself saying the opposite of what I truly meant, and I was imagining that Bella would say that to Edward when they departed. By hiding her feelings, he wouldn't get hurt. Sigh, they're both idiots sometimes (my fault though lol) anywayyyyyyyyy…

I think I'll make this story sappy and sad but still heart wrenchingly romantic. I hate sad endings. I'll never write sad endings, I swear. Don't worry, all!!

THE POINT IS!! The song is about Bella telling Edward to just forget about it even though she doesn't really mean it that their thing wasn't ..worth it at all grah confusing.