Usual Disclaimer... They aren't mine.
Re-posting an older story for #lietomelives
Fake
She had always been good at hiding things from the people around her.
Growing up she had become proficiently skilled in hiding her feelings, her thoughts, her desires, her scars, her secrets and her past.
She had become an expert at faking a laugh, while deep down she was secretly dying.
She had mastered her walk and posture to exude: dignity, grace and confidence, to those around her.
She would never believe it though, not for a single second, that she actually possessed those qualities.
She had perfected her smile. No one would have guessed that it had taken her years of practice, which enabled her to fake it to perfection.
She had become so good at hiding and pretending, that those around her thought her to be the picture of perfect innocence.
They had put her on a pedestal, looked to her to fix ALL their problems, like she was Mother Fuckin Superior!
It had become unbearable and she wanted to scream.
Genuine, happy, bubbly...
Sunshine, Lollipops and fucking rainbows..
That was what people associated with Gillian Foster.
She wanted to tell them that she wasn't perfect, she wasn't innocent.
She wanted so badly to get down of that fucking pedestal and tell them they were wrong.
She wasn't happy.
She wasn't Okay.
She was dying inside and wanted to make it stop.
Make the pain go away, erase her past, and get him to notice her, to see her.
Really see her.
She laughed ruefully.
She worked with the best deception experts in the world and even they couldn't tell she had been lying, faking it...Pretending!
...Or maybe he could...
Maybe he had been respecting that bloody line.
For once she wished he would break their self imposed rules and step across the line.
Shake the truth out of her... All of her truth!
And then maybe she wouldn't feel so alone, burdened and drowning in the secrets of her past.
Maybe one day she'll tell him...Everything!
But not today, today she would keep faking.
She fixed her smile as she walked down the corridor of the Lightman Group; head held high, perkiness lacing her voice as she joked with him about something..
Today maybe just being around him would be enough to keep her demons at bay.
..Maybe..
But then again...
..Maybe Not.
Comments and and reviews always welcome. Constructive or otherwise.
Older fic.. some y'all have probably already read it.
