Author's Note: *sigh* Well, I'm back. Just can't stay away. I redid these first 4 chapters a little, now that I've got a new outline for the overall story since I have almost no memory of what my original intentions with this might have been. Jori, Brina, Tribbie, and some Bade. As usual, I don't do graphic sex scenes, but the story may contain sex, language, violence, illicit substances, etc. Just not graphic enough to warrant an M rating, in my opinion. There will be FEMSLASH, don't like, don't read (not that I don't lol for days when I get a review like ten chapters in saying that Tori and Jade aren't gay).
Trina and Sinjin are seniors, the rest of the gang are juniors. This chapter's song is "Heaven Can Wait" by Charlotte Gainsbourg and Beck.
Human Behaviour (There Is No Map!)
PRELUDE: Heaven Can Wait (And Hell's Too Far Ago)
She's sliding, she's sliding down to the depth of the world,
She's fighting, she's fighting the urge to make sand out of pearls.
Trina stared hard at the bouquet of roses sitting on her vanity, wondering why nothing could seem to go right for her. A dozen long-stemmed red roses from none other than Beck Oliver, the hottest guy in school. And she was certain it wasn't a joke this time. But she could hardly savor what should have been overwhelming joy at finally having attained him, at finally having realized one of her many dreams while the rest of them were rapidly unraveling at the seems.
Her eyes darted back and forth between the roses and the drawer of her nightstand, which contained another gift- if you could call it that, though she certainly didn't think you could- from another boy. An unwanted gift. An ill-timed gift. A mistake in the shape of a plus sign on a little white stick.
Outside there was a flash of light followed by the clap of thunder. She winced at the sound before getting to her feet and grabbing her coat. She needed to get out of the house.
And when she pulled out of her driveway in the pouring rain, the sky dark and close, all she could think about was Robbie Shapiro saying "Rejection's not so bad. After a bit, you just get used to it."
She's hiding, she's hiding on a battleship of baggage and bones,
There's thunder, there's lightning in an avalanche of faces you know...
Beck gripped the steering wheel of his car so tight his knuckles were white. He'd resolved to drive over to the Vega house an hour before but hadn't been able to put the key in the ignition. And now this torrential rain had come in, a thunder shower that few Californians would brave, and so he told himself he was waiting for it to pass. People weren't used to this sort of weather here, especially not in June. The roads were dangerous in these conditions and that was it.
Besides, what else would be stopping him?
Not something, he thought, someone is stopping me. Somehow.
He could reason that it was Trina. He wanted her to come to him.
Maybe.
Or Jade.
Who had always come to him.
Kind of.
Maybe never again.
Possibly Tori.
She wanted to fix everything, all of the time. But she had problems of her own to deal with, and people more in need of fixing than him.
Robbie. His grip tightened at the thought of the awkward boy with that God-forsaken puppet. Just hours ago he'd been sitting beside him in trigonometry, listening to him being bullied by a toy that he controlled himself! Beck almost smiled. Almost. His fingers loosened momentarily.
Maybe he should just step aside this time.
Maybe he couldn't bring himself to do that.
Heaven can wait
And hell's too far ago
Somewhere between
What you need and what you know
And they're trying to drive that escalator into the ground
Jade's green eyes were fixed intently on the darkened skyline before her. The rain hammered down against the windshield of her car, the wind tore leaves off of trees and whipped them around thoughtlessly, and every few moments cracks of lightning split the sky, like heartbreaks, followed by that booming growl of thunder.
Even though the flash preceded it, Tori couldn't help but flinch, ever so slightly, at the roll of thunder. Every damn time. And she would glance over after to see if Jade had noticed, always expecting an insult to be hurled back at her from the driver's side.
But Jade didn't say a thing, didn't acknowledge Tori was even in the car with her. And for all of the tumult around them, Jade seemed calm. The chaos outside was nothing like the inside of her head.
Tori wanted to talk, more than anything, for Jade to say something. Even an insult or curse. So she waited, patiently, refusing to be the first to speak up this time.
It was Jade's turn to talk and Tori would wait. Another flash of lightning rent the sky and Tori braced herself, waiting for thunder, and started to wonder if her heart was really racing because of the storm outside or if the storm inside was to blame.
You left your credentials in a Greyhound station
With a first aid kit and a flashlight
Going to a desert unknown
"I feel like there's a lot going on right now and no one's letting me in on it," Andre sighed, dropping down on the red sofa in the Vega family living room.
Cat Valentine sat cross-legged on the coffee table in front of him, giggling.
He rolled his eyes and glanced at the door, as if he thought doing so would cause Tori and the rest of the gang to arrive. But the door stayed shut. No one had seen Tori or Jade since lunch, there was a peculiar tension between Beck and Robbie, and even Trina seemed to be deliberately making herself scarce. And if Trina Vega was making an effort to not be noticed, something had to be up.
He had come to his friend's house after school, intending to finally get some answers about the tangled mess of whatever that their little group had dissolved into. Cat had simply bounced along after him, not seeming all that perplexed by everything. When they arrived, Holly Vega had been heading out, eyes downcast. She didn't smile at them, or even greet them at all really, just stood aside and let them in before hurrying to her car and driving off.
It took a minute for Andre to realize that no one else was home, but he assumed Tori would be soon since her mother had let him inside in the first place.
"Wanna play a game?" Cat asked hopefully.
"Huh?"
"A game. Wanna play a game?"
"Not really, Lil' Red," he sighed. "Unless it involves you spilling some information."
"One time my brother spilled two gallons of pistachio ice cream on a lady in a tourist information booth..."
"Why did he have two gallons of ice cream with him?"
"It was summer."
"Yeah, but..."
"It melted."
"Obviously."
"Yeah."
Andre groaned. "Forget it."
"Why are you so grumpy?"
"Because things are wonky with everyone and I don't know why and I don't handle wonky well."
Cat chuckled. "Wonky is a silly word."
"Don't you think things have been weird?"
"Since when?"
"Well...since...I don't know. These last few months. Since Tori up and decided that she was in love with Jade? Or maybe before that even. And Jade's been...just...different. And Beck and Robbie. There's something going on there. It's like they're fighting. And Beck doesn't fight- except with Jade- and Robbie is just a pushover and I just can't figure out what would make them fight. And even Trina's been different. She's been all, you know, chill. And this is Trina Vega we're talking about here!"
Cat looked sad for a moment, but then perked up again. "It's wonky?"
"Well, yeah!"
"I maybe know why Beck and Robbie are mad at each other. But not for sure. And Tori's always been in love with Jade. And Trina..." her face fell slightly again.
"So, no one's going to tell me anything?" Andre threw his hands up. "Nope, let's just leave Andre out of it."
Cat giggled. "I think it all started at Sinjin's party on Cat's Day."
"Cat's Day? You mean, his party back in February? On Valentine's...oh...I get it."
"I think so. I mean, except for some of it. Like Jade being...different. And Tori being in love with her. And Trina's thing might have started sooner than that too."
"So really it didn't start there at all, except maybe Beck and Robbie's thing?"
"Maybe that. Maybe not. I don't really know."
"Cat!"
"Yeah?"
"What happened at Sinjin's party?"
"Weren't you there?"
"Yeah, and I remember Tori getting wasted and telling me all about Jade."
"And Beck and Jade got back together."
"Right. Which upset Tori, obviously. But I mean, other than that..."
"You want to know what happened?"
"Yes!"
"You really want to know?"
"No, I'm not interested at all," he spit out, his frustration growing.
"Oh, kaykay. I thought you did," Cat started absent-mindedly chewing on her hair.
"I was kidding, Cat," Andre groaned, although he should've known better.
"Oh. So you do want to know?"
"Yes!"
"It all started at Sinjin's party... well, except the stuff that started before that-"
Andre nodded. "Yeah, yeah. Come on already!"
Cat giggled at his impatience. "Kaykay, so, back on Cat's Day Sinjin threw a party to celebrate getting into the school he wanted..."
