Closer
—xx—
It was becoming uncomfortably clear that life was completely and utterly unfair.
Blaine pouted very much like the teenager he was, puffing out toxic plumes of smoke in an angry manner. Here it was, mid-June, and no, he had not managed to kick the cigarette habit as he'd hoped. And, as of late, he had been smoking more often than ever. Perched on the roof outside of his window, he noted this fact in the back of his brain, and took another disgruntled drag.
He could hear his phone buzzing at him inside his room, but he didn't make an effort towards the window. Instead, he grumbled, leaning back against the hot shingles and staring up at the clouds. He could have never guessed that his actions would cause this particular turn of events. There was a nagging voice in the back of his head that insisted that this was his fault and that he only had himself to blame, but he pushed that away.
When his phone buzzed again, he rolled his eyes and flicked his cigarette off the roof and then turned to crawl back through the window into this room. It was a pain in the ass to climb out of the house through it every time he wanted to have a cigarette—which, as of late, happened to be almost once a day—but he'd rather be inconvenienced than have his dad walk in and smell stale tobacco, or, worse, catch him with one in his hand.
He closed the window behind him and grabbed his phone off the window seat hastily. Unsurprisingly, he unlocked it to find that he had five unread texts.
One from Kurt. Four from Jesse.
He groaned again and scrolled past the texts from Jesse to Kurt's. For a moment, his mood was lightened, when he read, Can't wait to see you tonight! Two days is two days too long! Blaine couldn't help but agree, he missed every single inch of Kurt and longed to hold him in his arms again.
Begrudgingly, he read the four from Jesse, which all carried the same general message of I miss you, I can't stop thinking of you, etc., etc..
Blaine's disgruntled pout returned, screwing up his face in frustration. Life was most definitely unfair; how was he supposed to predict that Jesse St. James, of all people, would suddenly develop feelings for him?
He reopened the text from Kurt and responded in like manner to the original message, then, he deleted all the messages in his inbox. There was certainly no reason to leave perfectly good evidence in his phone for his boyfriend to find. Blaine was pretty certain that Kurt knew what was going on between Jesse and him, what with the elevated smoking habit and his mysterious absences. Kurt was withdrawn as of late around him, and Blaine had caught him staring at him inquisitively on more than one occasion in the last week. Either someone had tipped him off, or Blaine was not as good at covering his tracks as he'd thought.
He really hadn't meant for his affair with Jesse to escalate this way, but the fact of the matter is that it had turned into just that: an affair. It had effectively spun out of control, his sexual urges driving him into Jesse's arms again and again.
Now, it had really gotten out of hand.
That thought was interrupted when his phone buzzed again. He unlocked it eagerly, expecting a response from Kurt. Instead, it read, I need to see you. Today. Can we make that happen?
Blaine groaned. Under any other circumstances, he'd happily reply back with a yes, invite Jesse into his bedroom for a little afternoon fun, but Jesse had made things weird, and now he was afraid to have him around too long, afraid to give him the wrong idea. He couldn't seem to convey to Jesse that he truly loved Kurt. That he was dating Kurt and fooling around with Jesse, and there was a distinct difference between the two. He raked a hand through his dark curls and slumped, defeated, into a chair.
Now, he stood at a crossroads. His body ached for Jesse. He would like nothing more to have him come over and quell his sexual hunger, but ever since their encounter in the movie theatre bathroom, when Jesse had claimed that he "deserved better" than losing his virginity in a bathroom stall, things had changed between them. Shifted. Jesse moved slower now, was gentler. He spent more of their time together "wanting to talk," and Blaine had no intention of "talking" when Jesse was in his bed, or pressed against a wall in a stairwell, or in the dark confines of a movie theatre. As far as Blaine was concerned, Jesse's lips had a purpose, and it certainly wasn't talking.
When his phone buzzed again with the message, So? from the previous sender, he sucked in a long, deep breath of air and finally responded.
Fine, but you have GOT to be in and out in an hour and a half. My BOYFRIEND is coming over tonight.
Best-case scenario, Jesse doesn't insist on talking and keeps his lips pressed against Blaine's skin. Worst-case scenario, the younger boy tells him to get lost. For good.
The phone vibrated in his hand again and the text that followed read, Good, lol, because I'm parked down the street, and I didn't want to have to drive all the way back from Westerville.
Blaine raised an eyebrow at his phone, deciding that Jesse awaiting the approval to come over from his street was definitely more creepy than cute. How long had he been waiting there? Where exactly was he? Blaine narrowed his eyes, and suddenly began to consider the notion that he might be too annoyed to even be turned on by Jesse. That was upsetting.
He tossed his phone on his bed and exited his room, wanting to catch Jesse before his parents saw him. He didn't need his mother mouthing off that he was around tonight when Kurt arrived for dinner. Knowing his mom, she would say it to Kurt while Blaine was out of the room, giving him no chance to cover his tracks and make a story up.
The foyer was clear when the expected frantic knocking came to the front door. Blaine threw the door open and there stood Jesse, looking just as dangerously sexy as always. The younger boy's annoyance began to melt away, and his eyes darkened as he took in the boy in front of him. When Jesse snaked an arm around Blaine's waist, shivers raced down his spine, and he wanted nothing more than to start attacking him right there in the doorway. However, footsteps in another room jerked him back into reality, and the curly-headed boy grasped Jesse's hand in his and yanked him up the stairs just as footsteps entered the foyer.
In a matter of seconds, the two slammed through Blaine's doorway, tripping over each other's feet into his room and almost missing his bed. Jesse's tongue roughly swept the inside of his mouth, then, much to Blaine's dismay, he pulled away.
"Princess," Jesse said, almost in sing-song, "you've been smoking again."
Blaine pushed up on his elbows, hazel eyes narrowing, "Yes, and?" He aimed for the other's lips, but was denied by a strong hand on his shoulder pushing him into the thick blankets.
"Blaine, it's bad for you."
The younger boy stopped struggling underneath Jesse's grasp and gave him a curious look. Blaine? How many times had Jesse used his actual name, rather than some pseudo-endearing nickname?
"Well, I don't see how that's any of your concern," Blaine put harshly, "Now, stop talking."
Before he could respond, Blaine had pushed him onto the bed and climbed on top of him. He rolled his hips hard against Jesse's black jeans, whose eyes fluttered shut and whole body relaxed underneath him. The younger boy grinned over him and moved into the crook of his neck, licking and biting there. Jesse's soft moans caused pleasure to curl through Blaine's stomach, hot and heavy. He felt himself grow hard against his tight pants and groaned as Jesse's hands found his ass and ground his hips even harder against his own.
"Less… clothes…" Blaine panted against Jesse's collarbone, thankful for the access the tight, black v-neck gave him, but greedy for more. "Less clothes now."
In any other situation, Jesse might have chuckled at Blaine's blatant desperation, or even have found it adorable, but he was just as frantic as his shorter partner. He pushed Blaine off of him and yanked his own shirt off, then hastily found the hem of the other's and pulled it over his head. Instantly, their skin was pressed together, and simultaneous moans escaped their lips.
"Uhn… Jesse," Blaine whimpered between kisses against his shoulder, "Oh… god."
Jesse found Blaine's lips and kissed him, suddenly slow and soft. His hands stopped wandering around his body and wrapped around his back, pulling him in a close embrace. Blaine groaned, frustrated against Jesse's lips. Pulling away, he narrowed an annoyed glare at his partner.
"What are you doing?" He huffed, his chest still heaving.
"Come on, princess," he leaned in to sigh into the crook of Blaine's neck, "what, exactly, do we need to rush for?"
Irritated, his blood rushed to his face, and Blaine growled. "Do you really want me to make you a list, St. James?" He rolled off his partner and kneeled next to him, "Fine. One: I am painfully hard, and I don't want to waste time with your bizarre need for intimacy. Two: I don't know if you remember, but I told you that this needed to go quickly, as Kurt—my boyfriend—is coming over for dinner tonight. And, three:" he leaned forward, his lips dangerously close to Jesse's, "this is much, much hotter when you subtract the feelings."
He'd hoped that the close proximity would distract Jesse from his emotions, but instead, his partner frowned. Blaine felt his cock twitch with disappointment when they didn't immediately resume. "Blaine," Jesse began, "I—"
"Okay, that, too," Blaine interrupted. "When did you start calling me that?"
"What?" Jesse sat up on his elbows, face screwed up in confusion. "You always seem to get upset when I call you 'princess,' or 'dear.' I thought you'd be happier with your actual first name."
"Just stop, Jesse!" Blaine climbed off the bed, away from his partner. "Stop trying to make me happy. Stop it! I have a boyfriend—Kurt! I care for him, not you! You are never going to take his place, and I'm never gonna feel half of what I feel for him for you!" He let out a ragged breath of air, "Jesus, what happened to you?"
The two stared each other for a long moment, silent.
"If you care about your precious Kurt so much, then why are you still seeing me?"
Blaine opened his mouth to speak, but found himself dumbfounded. If that wasn't a damned good question, he didn't know what was. He knew he loved Kurt, but yet he still found himself craving Jesse, again and again. What in the world was he doing?
"I… don't know." He stepped forward to kneel on the bed again. "I really love Kurt, but I don't know, being with you is just so… exciting—dangerous, I suppose." He bowed his head in shame, "I can't deny the fact that I enjoy the risk; the risk of being caught, of being found out. But, I also can't deny that this is wrong. I know it should have stopped before it started, should have never gotten this far, but it just got completely out of my control."
Blaine stared down at the comforter for a moment. Suddenly, a massive amount of guilt rushed to his gut. He'd grown accustomed to ignoring it, shooing it away, but at this moment, it seemed that it had broken down his walls and now had his heart in chokehold. He felt awful, like trash, and he certainly didn't feel like he deserved Kurt. He squeezed his eyes shut.
Jesse reached for Blaine's hand to pull him close to him. In his pathetic state, the younger boy did not resist and allowed the older to wrap his arms around him into a soft embrace.
"As much as I hate to admit it, Anderson," he murmured, voice uncharacteristically unsure, "I have… I care for you. It's not anything I can help, and trust me, I detest the way I've been acting far more than you do." He rested his head on Blaine's shoulder, exhaling loudly, "but for some reason, when I see you, I just… I feel differently. I feel as though I need to… protect you…" he paused, closing his eyes. "…from Kurt."
Shocked, Blaine's eyes fluttered open, but he didn't move. "Why would I need… protecting? I'm the one hurting him."
"Because, Blaine," he sat up, meeting the other boy's gaze, "I can see that you are uncomfortable with him. I don't doubt that you are very, deeply in love with him, but it's rather clear to me that he will never give you what you want. That he's not able to." Before he could interject, Jesse quickly added, "and I don't just mean physically. I mean emotionally. And when you finally realize that, it's going to break you. I'm merely worried that you have given your heart to someone who won't handle it properly."
"Y-you," Blaine averted his gaze and took back his hand, attempting to object firmly, "you have… no idea what you're talking about. You think you know me, Jesse, because you've been able to seduce me again and again, but you don't." He paused, then looked back into his eyes, "Think about it, Jesse. We barely know each other. The only thing we know about each other is where to touch."
Jesse sighed, "I see how you interact with him. I see how your shoulders tense around him. It's…" he searched his mind, unable to quite place the words that he needed, "It's as though you're playing some part, some part that everyone expects you to. They expect you to be the mentor to Kurt; to be the nice, sweet, loving boyfriend. They expect you to be the 'model gay.'" He tipped Blaine's chin up with one finger, "I can see that you're more than that, and I can also see that that's not who you want to be." He leaned in, kissing his lips softly, tenderly. "That's part of what I like about you."
Blaine wanted to object again, wanted to reassure him that Kurt was who he was meant to be with, to remind him that Jesse meant nothing more to him than physical satisfaction, but before he could even say his name, the older was kissing him. In an instant, the passionate kisses that Jesse was delivering were being eagerly returned by Blaine. This was different than what Blaine was used to; this passion wasn't physical, wasn't rushed, as if they were hurrying through to get back to someone they would rather be with. He could feel Jesse's heart in each kiss, could feel how desperate he was to show him how he felt. He was no longer holding him in a too tight grasp, and not in a delicate embrace, but as if he knew that this would be the last time he was in his arms; firm, like he didn't want to ever let go.
Blaine found himself returning that very hold on Jesse. As much as he wanted to deny that he felt anything for the other, he had to admit that, even if it was the right thing to do, he didn't want to see him go; didn't want this to be the last time.
For the first time, as Jesse's hands traveled slowly down his back, Blaine's heart fluttered. He raked his hands through the older's curls and moaned softly. At that, Jesse pulled away, looked into Blaine's eyes, and stated, "I broke up with Rachel." He registered Blaine's shocked reaction, "I… I know that doesn't mean anything to you, but, I want you to know that I'm serious about this."
"Jesse, I ca—"
The older boy's lips stole any more words that he intended to say, moving swiftly against his, as if to prove that he didn't expect anything but this, right here, right now. He straddled the younger boy's hips and rolled his own against them. Blaine moaned into Jesse's mouth, his hands slipping down and grasping his ass, pushing his hips harder into his cock through his jeans. The older boy put a hand on either side of Blaine's head and gripped the sheets, grabbing them harder with each thrust of his hips. Jesse felt warm hands graze the bare skin above his waistline just before they unbuckled his belt and unzipped his jeans. He gasped aloud and closed his eyes, falling over onto the bed when Blaine's hand slipped into his boxers and wrapped around his cock, soft and warm against his heated skin. As he began to pump him, Jesse didn't dare complain that he forgot lube; Blaine was moving in bizarre, slow, firm movements, much different from his usual frantic motions. Rather than quickly jack him off just to get the job done, the younger male appeared to be paying detail to Jesse's pleasure.
He further surprised his older partner when his hand was replaced with a pair of soft lips, sucking the head and then slowly working Jesse's length into his mouth. He writhed beneath him, stunned at Blaine's attention to detail. As his tongue wrapped its way around him, Jesse gripped Blaine's sheets and rocked his hips against his mouth. The younger had never performed this particular act on him before, but it was as if he knew exactly all the right places to move his tongue.
As Jesse felt himself come closer to orgasm, he raked his hand through Blaine's curls, urging him to continue. However, much to his dismay, Blaine removed the hand from the back of his head and pulled away. He leaned in to lick the head of his dick clean, then kissed his way back up his partner's chest. Jesse opened his mouth to protest, but Blaine sealed his lips with his own, sweeping his mouth with his tongue.
Urgent hands found their way down Blaine's chest and into his jeans, caressing him through his boxers. The younger boy moaned softly into his mouth and then pulled away, looking into Jesse's eyes for a long moment. He removed his hand from the Blaine's jeans and pulled him close.
"Jesse, I—"
"Blaine, I'm in love with you."
Silence fell upon the two as one very stunned Blaine lay wide-eyed and frozen in Jesse's embrace. For a second, Jesse considered leaving, considered that he said the wrong thing, but instead he decided to continue.
"I'm in love with you, Blaine," he breathed. "I know that this isn't how affairs and the like are supposed to transgress, but, I can't go on pretending like you're only some sexual object to me. You… are so much more than you think you are, Anderson, and I realize that I cannot go on just being the other man. If you choose Hummel, then you choose him. But I am not willing to share you with anyone else anymore."
Blaine considered this, his heart pounding blood loudly in his ears, his mind racing. At the beginning of that day, the decision would have been easy; Kurt was the obvious choice. But something in him had changed, and he realized, right there in Jesse's arms, that he didn't want this to be the end. However, it wasn't as simple as choosing Jesse. Sure, he had proved that feelings with him were possible, but he was still in love with Kurt.
"Were you going to say something," Jesse murmured against the other's forehead, "Blaine?"
The curly headed boy sucked in a deep breath and then looked up to meet the older's gaze. "I was just going to say… that I'm… ready."
Jesse paused a moment, then his eyes widened then he realized what his lover was implying. He pulled Blaine in closer, pressing his whole body against him, and panted, "are you… are you sure?"
"I'm sure." As if to assure him that he meant it, he closed the distance between them and kissed Jesse hard, who returned it fervently. Without breaking apart, the two boys wriggled out of their tight jeans, then their boxers, gasping into each other's mouths when their erections grazed each other. Pleasure shot through their bodies at the new sensation of being completely naked together, only skin on skin. Jesse blindly felt around for a condom, lost in the covers of the bed, and then grasped it in his palm, warming it against his skin.
"Blaine…" he gasped against his lips, "…I really want to do this, but I want you to want it, too…"
Underneath Jesse, Blaine's eyes found his, a fierce determination in them that Jesse had never seen before. "I want it—want you, Jesse." He kissed him chastely, "please."
Nodding, he tore the condom open and rolled it on himself, then seized a bottle of oil from the table, generously lubricating his fingers. He slid a finger into his partner, enjoying the way Blaine's body seized and tensed around him, and the way his mouth dropped open, a low moan reverberating through his body. Slowly and carefully, he worked a second digit in, stretching him out. Blaine writhed beneath him, pleasure taking over and causing him to moan loudly. Each time that Jesse scissored his fingers or curled them against his sweet spot, Blaine would jerk and moan, causing the older's cock to twitch in anticipation. He gave one last curl, earning a loud gasp from his partner, then removed his fingers.
Blaine panted beneath him, and his eyes, squeezed shut, fluttered open when he lay empty. His eyes, red rimmed and dark with pleasure, found Jesse's. "Ready?" he asked. The younger boy licked his lips and nodded.
Jesse seized his own cock and pressed it against Blaine's entrance. Below him, the boy took a deep breath as he applied pressure, pressing inside. Tears pooled around Blaine's eyes and his mouth flew open as he moaned his pleasure. Once Jesse was pushed all the way in, he met his partner's gaze, who nodded shakily. The older boy grabbed Blaine's cock with his slick hand and slowly began pumping him as he began to move inside of him. Underneath him, Blaine's eyes rolled back and his back arched, which cause Jesse to graze his prostate with the head of his dick. A bead of precum shot out and rolled over his hand, and Jesse leaned forward.
"Don't come yet, princess," he licked the shell of Blaine's ear, earning another low moan, "I want you to remember this forever."
Blaine nodded shakily and held his breath, attempting to ward off orgasm by all means possible. His partner sat back up and began pumping his dick faster while simultaneously fucking him harder. The younger choked on his gasps, no longer in control of the noises coming from low in his throat, and when Jesse grazed his sweet spot again, he screamed his lover's name, and then shuddered harshly, coming in one long, hard orgasm.
At the sound of his name, Jesse hitched a breath and then came hard inside Blaine, causing him to hunch over him as pleasure shot through every inch of his body, sending a crop of goosebumps right after it. Once his body stopped shuddering, he collapsed on top of one sweaty Blaine, relishing in the way their bodies slid against one another.
Jesse pulled himself out of Blaine, and moved to go clean up in the bathroom, but Blaine surprised him by grabbing his hand and pulling him into a long, soft kiss. The boy was sticky with sweat and come, but Jesse pressed his body against him without a second thought, and when he rested his head against his chest, he instantly wrapped his arms around him. Soon enough, the younger's breathing evened in to a soft rhythm, and a smile spread its way across Jesse's thin lips.
Because honestly, he didn't care what happened when Blaine woke up. Whether he chose Jesse or Kurt, he would always have this exact moment in his mind.
—xx—
A/N: So, I was a little wary of writing Sensitive!Jesse but I think I pulled it off alright. This is the third part to Smokes and the second part to Princess. I might do some side stuff but this series is done. Hope you like it!
maria
