Author's Note: after a long hiatus...this! Fanfic for a game that came out ten years ago. I am the quintessential late adopter. Warning: spoilers for major parts of the plot, from the Moonflow onwards...does anyone even try to avoid spoilers for a game this old? Just a cute what-if idea-enjoy!

Band of Thieves

(The world owes them a few.)

No one thinks of it as stealing at first. Not really. Rikku's clever fingers find Arctic Winds and Musks and Potions on the fiends they fight, and even Wakka doesn't complain, because the journey is only getting harder and they need every last item they can get. And once Lulu has a few custom bangles with wards against poison and Auron has a shiny new customized katana to turn fiends to stone, no one so much as gives Rikku a dirty look when she steals.

It's the customizing that draws Khimari in. Yuna never complains-she always worries about the burden she might place on others, she never thinks of her own pain-but Khimari sees how the fiends in Macalania Woods are wearing on her strength. But their gil is running low, and Yuna won't spend it on herself.

When Rikku asks him why he wants to learn the fine art of pickpocketing, Khimari says simply, "Yuna need new armor." And that is that.

It's almost cute, at first-the spunky little Al Bhed girl and the huge silent Ronso darting about the battlefield, lifting a mountain of items from their foes. Yuna gets her new armor, and she's happy to see that Khimari has made a good friend in Rikku. And that, everyone thinks, is all there is to it.

Tidus doesn't think about the whole thing again until after Bevelle, and the wedding, and the wrath of Yevon coming down on their heads. At first all that he could think about was the truth about the pilgramige, that Yuna would ... would die. But as the days wear on and he and Rikku decide to find a way to save her, he realizes something. They're outlaws, now, and Yevon will be spreading the word to all their followers: capture on sight. How will they get the items they need? How will they replace their weapons and armor as the fiends get tougher? They're going to be climbing Mt. Gagazet soon-they need to be prepared.

Rikku is more than happy to teach Tidus the five-finger discount.

The items he, Rikku, and Khimari can steal hold them through the Calm Lands and almost to the top of Mt. Gagazet, but one too many run-ins with those awful ice plants have left the party confused and at the verge of collapse, and they can all see that soon Yuna will be too tired to cast Esuna.

Rikku and Tidus are huddled together in an alcove with the rest of the group, too cold and miserable to do anything but shiver during the brief rest, when Lulu approaches them.

"We need more Remedies, or we won't make it," the black mage tells them bluntly.

"We're stealing as many as we can!" Tidus says, shoving his fingers into his armpits in a desperate attempt to keep warm.

"My fingers are so cold I can barely move 'em," Rikku adds, her normally bright spirit subdued in the grim atmosphere. "With just the three of us..."

"We can't let Yuna die here," Lulu says. Looking up at her, Tidus thinks that her strength is like Mt. Gagazet. While he's weakening like a dying fire, she stays strong, like ice that never melts. And she's right. They can't give up now.

"B-but..." Rikku just shakes her head helplessly, curling up even tighter as another blast of wind sweeps past them.

"Teach me," Lulu says.

Lulu steals with a strange mixture of elegance and iron determination that is downright scary in Tidus' opinion. Soon the group has Remedies to spare, and Tidus decides that he's never going to underestimate Lulu again. She's way scarier than he thought.

For a long time after that, Tidus has too much on his mind to think about their little band of thieves. Zanarkand is...a revelation. He knows, now, that he's not going home. But Yuna will live, he tells himself, because that's enough, that has to be enough because that's all he can have.

They're going to beat Sin. Tidus doesn't care if Yunalesca or Micah or anyone else says it can't be done without the Final Aeon. They're going to beat Sin, and Yuna will live to see her own Calm.

Things don't look good, though. Even with the Al Bhed's support, they just don't have the strength to fight Sin head-on yet. They need to get stronger, and they need better weapons and stronger magic, and they need a plan.

For now, Tidus is going with 'hit it really hard' for the plan. For the rest of it, though...

At first they're going to just customize better weapons-it's worked so far. As they race around Spira in the Farenheit, collecting forgotten Aeons and training against the strongest fiends, they also start hunting for rare items to forge into swords and blitzballs and spears.

It's almost like a game, now. Yuna is able to let go of her burdens and laugh when Rikku and Tidus start teaching her how to fleece Marlboros. Even Wakka gets in on the action, putting fiends to sleep so his fellow guardians can rob them blind. They're like a well-oiled machine.

But it's still not enough. Even when they manage to snatch really rare items, Dark Matters and Silver Hourglasses and Gambler's Spirits, Tidus knows from the look on Lulu's face that the very best they can create is like a toothpick against Sin.

He's not ready to give up yet, though. They start to hear rumors-about a legendary blitzball, a wondrous sword, a mythical staff. Weapons beyond all other weapons. If they could just get them, Tidus knows they could take down Sin.

The problem is, certain owners aren't giving them up.

The bartender at Lucas won't let them take so much as a peek inside the chest he keeps behind the bar. The strange musician in Macalania Woods won't give them the time of day because Tidus just can't catch those stupid butterflies. And don't even get him started on that Chocobo trainer.

When the frustration and the hopelessness of it all starts to set in, Tidus goes to Rikku.

"What can they do with weapons anyway? We're saving the world-we need them!" he tells her. It takes some persuading-Rikku, for all that she's a thief, has never stolen from anyone but fiends. This is different than a quick grab in battle, this is ... this is wrong. Tidus knows that. But they're saving the world, they've suffered this much already, and for all they know they may still die fighting Sin. Spira owes them.

The lock on the bartender's chest is easy enough to pick. The World Champion, the best bliztball in the world, looks nice under Wakka's arm.

"Whoooa!" he says when he sees it, awed. "How the heck did you get that guy to give it to ya, brudda?"

Tidus laughs and says something vague about trying really hard to explain how much they needed it. Wakka doesn't ask anything else; he trusts Tidus. It makes Tidus feel sick, knowing that he's abusing the trust of a good guy like Wakka. But-Yuna. He can't let her die fighting Sin, not when they've come this far. They need these weapons.

At first, Tidus hadn't planned on telling anyone but Rikku about their little scheme. But the legendary sword is guarded by a Chocobo rider, and that's just too big. They need help.

Khimari doesn't take much convincing at all. He wants to protect Yuna; these weapons will help. End of story.

The Chocobo runs in terror when a spear-wielding Ronso roars at it and starts to charge. Tidus follows Khimari down the little valley, and finds the Caladbolg. He's not an expert on swords, but this one is beautiful, and it feels strong in his hand.

They never mean to tell Lulu-way too scary to even think about-but of course, Tidus should have guessed she'd figure it out on her own. She comes to them one night while they're sleeping at the Travel Agency on the Thunder Plains, worn out from trying to dodge those awful lightning bolts. Rikku actually cried herself to sleep.

"I knew you'd be a bad influence," Lulu tells Tidus, but there's a wry smile on her face. The two of them find the Venus Sigil hidden away in a back room, inside a sturdy iron chest with a lock so complicated Tidus knows even Rikku won't be able to pick it.

Lulu waves her fingers, and the lock freezes before Tidus's eyes. One little tap from his sword, and it shatters.

"Mind over muscle," Lulu tells him as they quietly make their way back to their rooms. They'll be long gone before the Venus Sigil is missed.

They don't tell Yuna. They all know it would break her heart if she knew they were stealing from the very people she's trying to save. But they love her just as much as she loves Spira, and they're going to finish what they started.

They never tell Wakka, either-he's an honest man, and he'd try his best to stop him. And Tidus insists that they don't tell Auron. He may not care about Yevon's laws, but Tidus has a feeling that he would be royally pissed if he knew what they were doing, and an angry Auron is even scarier than an angry Lulu.

No, they'll just finish their job quietly. They only need two more things, a staff for Yuna and the Mars Sigil for Auron, and Rikku's intel says that the owner of the Monster Arena has both. She and Tidus stake the place out, planning to run in, grab the goods, and run out, just like always.

Just one little problem. The Arena owner is strong, and he's a light sleeper.

They're on their way out when they hear the heavy footsteps, but Tidus is sure they'll make it...until the man opens his mouth.

"Take one more step and I set the fiends on you!" He's holding some kind of whistle, and it's inches from his mouth. Tidus and Rikku freeze in their tracks.

"What do we do!?" Rikku whispers, bouncing anxiously on the balls of her feet. She and Tidus are fast, but the owner is about twice their size, and there's no way they can fight his special fiends on their own.

"We'll think of something!" Tidus says, but as the owner stalks forward, all he can think is that this is really going to hurt.

And then there's a flash of red from the shadows, and Auron is grabbing the man's arms in an iron grip. "So this is what you've been up to," he says, sounding totally calm, as if they hadn't been seconds away from being fiend food.

"A-A-Auron!" Tidus says, too shocked to think of even one good excuse for why they're out here in the middle of the night. Or, y'know, carrying stolen goods.

"Let go of me this instant," the owner shouts, struggling against Auron's grip, "Or I'll-"

There's a dull thunk as Auron clocks the man with one heavy bracer. The owner slides limply to the ground, and Auron steps over the body. Tidus never realized quite how well the man could loom before.

"Uh," he says.

Beside him, Rikku thrusts forward the Mars Sigil. "We...got you this?" she offers, cringing back a little.

Auron takes it from her, looks at it carefully. Tidus thinks he may actually have stopped breathing as he waits for Auron to say something, anything. He keeps waiting for his life to flash before his eyes, but all that comes to mind is the look he knows he'll see on Yuna's face when she finds out. If Auron doesn't just kill them right now, that is. Oh, they are so screwed.

But Auron just brushes past them without a word. He gets halfway to the path back to the Calm Lands when he seems to realize that Rikku and Tidus are still frozen in place, and then he turns back.

"Hurry up. If we don't get back before dawn, Yuna will notice."

Tidus watches in amazement when Auron hands Yuna the Nirvana the next day, telling her with a completely straight face that they'd won it from the Monster Arena in battle. But, he thinks later, he really should have known that Auron would do anything to protect Yuna.

Hefting the Caladbolg, Tidus grins. Sin's ass is so about to get kicked.

[the end]

AN: The backstory of this fic comes from two places: my FFX game and Gamefaqs. In my FFX game I ended up giving much of the party Steal, starting with Khimari. The idea of Khimari and Rikku being thiefy buddies was too adorable, and the Chocobo race and butterly game are too terrible. Hence, the idea of the party just stealing all these things because, after all, they're trying to save the world here!

How does Gamefaqs come into this? With the Band of Thieves faq, a guide to turning your party into a band of thieves to gain tons of rare items. Each party member has a suggested role, and Auron's is Enforcer-beat up monsters after the party is done stealing. This gave me the hilarious image of Auron pinning a dude in place while Tidus rifled through his pockets. This got combined with the previous idea to create...this.

I adore FFX and its fandom, so I hope this little fic shows my love, haha.