Author's Notes: I fully realize I can't write well at all. I fully realize that whatever spews forth on the keyboard courtesy of my brain is crap right from the get-go. But does that stop me? No. I keep on writing. Well, I'd like to know what everybody thinks about this, because I already am half-way through the second chapter. If it's wanted, I'll post it. If not, I don't really see the point in bothering. So read, review, tell me how I did well, how I did bad.

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun, I don't even own the episodes. I probably don't even own this idea, but I at least own the exact order in which the words appear here. I take solace in that.

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            A chaste kiss. Something so little, yet it seemed so big at that moment. It led to more, much more, but at that time it was just a kiss.

            I had followed him up that cliff, still full of worry about his injuries, afraid he might accidentally hurt himself up there. He startled me, though, when he started to sing.

            "So, on the first night, a pebble falls to the earth from somewhere. Sound life."

            It was a song I knew from my childhood, but it had been years and years since I had heard it. And he sung it so well…

            Before I had realized, I had started singing as well. "So, on the second night, the pebble's children hold hands and sketch a waltz. Sound life. "He looked over at me for the first time, quite possibly just noticing my presence. He smiled. It was good to see him smile again.

            I sat down next to him, glancing first at the town below us, then at the stars above us, then finally at him. Our eyes met, and I would've sworn I saw his sparkle. That made my heart flutter, even though I tried my hardest to not let it affect me.

            "The stars are pretty tonight, aren't they?" I asked him, hoping that slight tremor in my voice was just in my imagination.

            "Yeah," he answered, still staring up at the night sky. "They're pretty every night."

            "Yeah," I muttered. I couldn't come up with a single other thing to say.

            They almost never change, the stars," Vash said a few minutes later, braking what seemed to me a very awkward silence. "For so long I've watched them. Yet they rarely change. Like me."

            "What do you mean by that, Vash?" Now I was confused.

            "I never change. Never better, never worse. Always the same, just like the stars." He looked up again and sighed.

            "I think you're pretty great the way you are…" I shut my mouth quickly before any more traitorous words could come out of it.

            "No. I'm no good, don't you get that? He died by my own hands!" He wailed at that, sounding and looking just like a wounded animal. His face in his hands, his shoulders racked with tears, that sight broke my heart. I wrapped my arms around him in a hug, making soothing noises to the best of my abilities. I never was too maternal. "You had no other choice, Vash."

            "But I did, there had to have been another choice." But at least now the sobs were lessening enough that they were no longer painfully racking his body.

            "Yes, there was another choice, Vash. That choice was letting those people kill me and Millie. But that was not an option, Vash, there'll never be an option like that." I hugged him tighter, even started stroking his hair. It was soft, even through all the gel he must use to keep it up like that.

            "There had to've been a better choice, there had to've been." The sobs were slowing down considerably, and he was starting to return the hug, although much more tentatively than I would've expected from the infamous Vash.

            "But there wasn't. You saved us, Vash. You have to remember that. It's how things work." I stopped stroking his hair and hugged him tightly, and for once, he hugged me back completely, squeezing for all he was worth.

            "Thank you Mer, thank you so much," he whispered into my neck. My heart nearly exploded out of my chest at that, his breath on such sensitive flesh. He lifted his head to look me straight in the eye. Those tear-stained pools of aqua gazed at me, making my heart break all over again at the sadness which lay in their depths. "Thank you," he whispered again, barely above a breath.

            The kiss startled me. But after the initial surprise, instinct kicked in at least enough for me to kiss him back. It was short and sweet, and oh, he smelled so wonderful… I was in heaven… when he broke the kiss. That beautiful kiss…

            "I'm so sorry, Meryl!" he said, using my full first name.

            "Don't be," I whispered, brushing my fingers across his cheek, trying to rid it of the tears that should never have been shed. "Don't be."

            We held hands for the rest of the night, my head rest on his shoulder, and his head resting on mine.

***

            "But you'll be back, right?" I asked, eyes filled with tears.

            "I wouldn't want to leave a good woman like you behind, now would I?" He said with a laugh, brushing a tear away from my cheekbone with his finger.

            He was going after his brother, and there was nothing I could do to stop him. The past few days had been the best of my life, with Vash and I together. Sweet little kisses, holding hands, watching the sunsets together. When he wasn't acting like an idiot or a womanizer, he actually was quite sweet. He even went as far as finding a bouquet of flowers to give to me, though I haven't a clue where he got them.

            But now he was leaving, and it hurt so much, because I knew there was a chance he wouldn't return. From what little he had told me, it sounded like Knives was someone to fear.

            He wiped another tear off my cheek and leaned in for a gentle kiss. "Don't you worry, Mer. I wouldn't dream of leaving you to be snatched up by some other lucky guy, just waiting in the wings for the right moment." He leaned back in and kissed my cheek as I laughed at that.

            "I love you, Vash," I whispered, for the first time, slightly hesitant.

            "I love you too, Mer. More than mere words could ever say. I will be back for you, I promise." He smiled, then, a truly Vash smile. He said he would be back.

            "He said so," Meryl said with a sigh. She leaned forward in her chair, staring past the edge of the back porch into the emptiness that lay beyond it.

            "What did you say, Meryl?" Millie asked, bouncing Nicky on her hip as she walked onto the porch from the back door.

            "Oh, nothing Millie. Just thinking out loud.." Meryl leaned back into her chair as Millie sat down in the next one over, shifting Nicky into her lap in the process.

            "You were thinking about him again, weren't you Meryl? You were thinking about Mr. Vash again?" Millie ruffled her two year-old son's hair as he squirmed in her lap and started gnawing on his cookie.

            "So what if I was?" Meryl said defensively. "Doesn't mean nothing." Acting much younger than her actual age, she pulled her knees up to her chest in the rocking chair, with an expression on her face that could only be described as a childish pout.

            Millie just stared at her friend, wishing she would feel better soon. "Well, big-big sister is making dinner. It should be done in a half an hour, if you're hungry." Millie smiled over at her best friend, who forced a weak smile in response.

            "Thanks Millie, I'll be in in just a little while. I just want to watch the sunset first." Meryl pulled her baggy homemade sweater closer to herself, trying to keep out the slight chill that had came with dusk.

            "Oh." Millie smiled brightly and got back up, switching Nicky up to her shoulders. "Okay, see you at the table."

            "Mer-Mer!" the little dark-haired boy yelled, before offer her a slobber-covered half-eaten oatmeal cookie to Meryl.

            Meryl laughed at this, a genuine laugh for once. "No thanks Nick, you can keep it. I can wait 'til dinner." She smiled and waved, and he waved back, placing the cookie back into his mouth.

            After the door swung shut, Meryl pulled her hair out of the ponytail she had taken to wearing lately. Her silky hair fell down past her shoulders, and she shook her head to even the clumped strands out. "You said you were going to come back, damnit," she whispered to no one but herself.

            "And I never lie." The voice came from behind her, and before she even knew it, she screamed and bashed the thing upside it's head with the side table. "Gee, I kin really you mished me," the blonde man said before falling over, a huge lump already forming on his head.

            Meryl gasped. "V… V… Vash?" she stuttered.

            "No thanksh, I'm jus' fine…" He said, before promptly passing out.

            "Millie!" Meryl screamed at the top of her lungs, already stopping down to try and wake Vash up. "Get out here NOW!"

            Millie rushed out, just as Meryl was bunching up her sweater up under Vash's head in a poor imitation of a pillow, all while she was shivering in her thin shirt. Most of Millie's family had followed to see what all the fuss was about.

            "Omigosh! Meryl, is that… Mr. Vash?" Millie immediately grabbed a pillow off a nearby couch to use instead of the lumpy green sweater.

            "I think it is, Millie. Help me get him inside to a bed." She started lifting him, but was pushed aside lightly as two of Millie's older brothers picked him up and headed towards the guest room.

            "Wonder what gave him that big bump on his head like that?" Millie asked innocently.

            Meryl laughed nervously. "Heh heh, no clue Millie, no clue." Millie just shrugged.

            His clothing was shabby, the red coat that was his signature by now was in dire need of a total restitching. His face looked worn, more so than it had three years ago, more than it ever should in Meryl's opinion. His hair was just as she had remembered it, spikey as always (he must've gotten a haircut somewhat recently), though it looked a bit dirty and dusty. The rest of him looked dirty and dusty, as well, but around here dusty was normal. There were new scars, also. After Meryl had shooed Millie and her family away, she started to try and clean the newest of the wounds, the cuts and scrapes that he seemed to always have, with a wet cloth. "What have you been doing, Vash, all these years? Why didn't you come back to me sooner?" She asked, expecting no response anyway. She sighed and continued washing him.

            She washed him as well as she could, under the circumstances. She blushed furiously at the thought of removing his pants to clean further, and giggled nervously as she tucked him in, trying to banish those thoughts. Staring longingly at his face, she sighed and pulled the desk chair over next to the bed.

            Hours later, Millie tapped on the open door lightly before peeking her head in. "Meryl? It's really late, you going to bed soon?" She looked Vash's covered figure over, trying to see if she could tell how well he was doing.

            "Naw, Millie. I think I'll stay up a little longer." Meryl then yawned.

            "You sure, Mer? You look pretty tired." Her voice was filled with concern.

            "Yeah." Meryl stifled back another yawn. "Actually, though, I could use something to do. Could you bring me my sewing kit?" she glanced over at the ragged coat hanging on the back of the door.

            "And lots of red thread. Right," Millie said, following her friend's line of sight to behind the door.

            It was the middle of the night, far closer to dawn than dusk. Meryl yawned for the second time in the last minute, but still she kept on sewing. Memories flooded back with each stitch, memories of the other times she had fixed this coat. "Almost done," she muttered under her breath. With a few last deft twists of the needle, she knotted off the thread and held the coat up for inspection. She looked it over in the light provided by the single lamp she had been working by the whole night and grinned in satisfaction. "Ah, there." She nodded to herself. "Finally finished."

            The lump under the sheets moved and moaned, which startled Meryl into jumping up out of the chair and dropping the red coat on the floor. "Uuuuughhhhh…" the muffled voice groaned.

            "Vash? Are you okay?" She moved the blanket off his face, where it had managed to move itself during the night, and was glad to see him waking up.

            Vash opened his eyes, blinked a few times, then stared at Meryl briefly, squinting. "Rem?" he asked, sounding confused and groggy.

            "Who's Rem?" Meryl asked, now more confused than Vash.

            "Meryl?" Vash asked, sounding weak now, no longer confused.

            "You okay Vash? I'm so sorry I hit you, I didn't know it was you." Meryl leaned in closer.

            "Like anybody else could be this cute?" Vash laughed half-heartedly, no longer groggy.

            Even though she hadn't seen him for three years, old habits die hard, and she smacked his arm while she laughed. She gasped as she realized what she had done. "Omigosh! I'm sorry Vash!"

            But he just chuckled. "No problem, Mer. I kinda missed that, anyway." He chuckled again, which made Meryl smile.

            "I missed you so much, Vash," Meryl said, losing the smile.

            "And I missed you too, Mer," Vash replied, his eyes starting to water around the edges just slightly.

            Meryl stood upright at that. "Then why didn't you come back sooner? Why did you leave me waiting for three whole years? I thought you were dead, I thought Knives had killed you. If you missed me so much, why did you stay away so long?" She was on the edge of screaming, but she was able to keep at least that much control.

            "I can explain everything, Meryl. Please calm down?" One look at Vash and Meryl stopped the pacing she had just started.

            She stood in front of Vash, hands now placed on her hips. "You said you could explain? So, explain then." She stood there, her eyes steeled, the single tear on her left cheek already forgotten.

            "Well, as you know, it all started when I went to meet Knives…"

TBC…