Title: Resolution
Summary: Nothing appears to matter anymore...especialy when you're clinically depressed and probably will be all throughout highschool. AU FANFIC, SASU/SAKU
Author's Note: First of all, disclaimer, no copyright infringement is intended, this is merely a fanfic, and if I owned Naruto, I wouldn't be on fanfiction in the first place. I would probably be writing a light novel.
SECONDLY, this is an alternative universe fanfic set in a more realistic world. This is a highschool AU, this could be viewed as a dark fanfic. In this fic, Sakura goes through clinical depression after something happen to her, this will later be revealed in later capters.
So Sakura might be a tad bit, oh who am I kidding, Sakura will be OOC initially, but I pinky promise that slowly, with the help of a certain someone, Sakura will revert back into her fiery self, the one we all love 3
I really hope you guys enjoy this fanfic! It's my first Naruto fic and I hope you guys review! Constructive criticism is much appreciated!
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Beep
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Slowly her eyes opened, it felt strained and she blinked, her eyes adjusting to her surroundings. Staring attentively at her white ceiling, Sakura let out a soft groan.
Her back was aching. And so was her neck. A minute of silence ensued as she wondered, has she fell asleep?
Insomnia was common for her. Last night, she desperately tried to remember, was one of the worst. The last thing she recalled was staring blankly at the flashing digits of her digital clock that beeped 5:49 AM. Shifting her head, she noticed it was only 6:18 AM.
'Great...a few more minutes till mom awakes..'
Last night, she went to bed at exactly 10:45, after finishing all her homework for the night, she vaguely remembered. It was the same routine day after day anyway, Sakura chuckled humorlessly to herself. She honestly wondered if her body will just shut down oneday, sleep was vital for her body to function, that, she knew since she was in Junior high.
This routine of sleepness nights and sleepy days had continued on for three days already, Sakura instinctively knew that if this continues any longer, she may very well experience hallucinations, a known aftermath of insomnia.
Perhaps she should try taking a long soothing bath before heading off to bead, she read once, in a magazine that this remedy worked especially well with teens. Maybe she shall try it tonight.
Her throat felt dry and perched, it begged for water and moisture.
Slowly she got up, dragging her legs off the warm haven created by her blankets. A wave of nausea quickly washed over her. Her eyesight darkened, Sakura groaned out as she clutched a heaving hand to her forehead, feeling the quick rush of blood. Trying to regain her balance and fous, Sakura bitterly muttered to herself, "yet another migraine..."
"Sakura? Honey? You're awake already? What's wrong?"
Her mother's concerned voice snapped Sakura out of her daze, "nothing much, mom.. Just felt slightly dizzy.."
Mebuki's feather knitted into a worried frown, "did you take your pill yet?"
Sakura shook her head.
"..After breakfast then...honey? Would bacon and eggs be alright?"
Sakura nodded. Truthfully, she could care less. But all for her mother's sake, she must...she must be strong for her mother.
Her mom knew about her depression. She was there when the doctor confirmed that Sakura was indeed suffering from clinical depression.
"Clinical depression, a mental disorder causing persistent sadness, lost of interest, and categorized as one of the most severe form of depression."
Those were her doctor's exact words. She was perscribed with a bottle of Cymbalta Oral, meant to treat her depression.
Yet, she was sure her mother didn't know, or didn't quite understand the severeness of her situation. She kept certain information to herself, like her persistent insomnia, her lack of apetite, her migraines... She often wonder why she felt it was necessary to keep her mother out of this, but a side of her knew it was part of her defense mechanism. Her mother, already stressed enough from working two jobs in the day, didn't need any more problems to burden herself.
She didn't need her reckless daughter to give her even more problems...
With that thought in mind, Sakura entered the bathroom, stripping herself of her clothes before stepping into the cool tub.
She past right by the mirror by the sink, she couldn't bare to look at herself.
She probably looked horrendous anyway, with her large forehead and ugly..ugly ugly..pink hair.
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There was another reason, a more selfish one that she didn't want to admit.
Sakura pressed a tiny bit of shampoo and into her hands and started scrubbing furiously at her hair.
She didn't want people to know how much of a lost cause she was. She didn't want any of their pitying, sympathetic looks when they clearly could not empathize with her loss.
Each time someone glanced at her like that, she felt herself getting more tainted by the second. She felt dirty, suddenly.
Sakura felt the urge to apply shampoo again.
She shall repeat it until she felt clean.
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XXOOXXOOXXOOXXOOXXOOXX
"Sakura? The pill is on the table, next to the glass of water. I slipped a bottle of warm tea into your bookbag." Mebuki glanced at her suit, patting and smoothing down the creases.
Sakura took a sip of water before popping the pill into her mouth. It tasted bitter, she noticed. She swallowed.
Mebuki slung her handbag over her shoulder, pressed a kiss to Sakura's cheeks, and smiled adoringly at her daughter, "you look wonderful sweetheart. Wear the new converse I bought for you today." Sakura forced a smile, "I love you mom."
"Love you too, hon. I might be a tad bit late home, pizza is in the fridge, just microwave it when you get home," Mebuki was already reaching the door, "bye sweetheart!"
The door quietly closes.
7:15
Sakura leaves at 7:45.
Usually.
Today, the morning felt unusually lonely, and sad without her mother's presence.
Sakura couldn't take it. Slipping on the newly bought pink converse, she bolted out the door, her schoolbag dangling on her side of her shoulder.
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Konoha Highschool was a mere 15 minutes away from her house. By the time she got there, Sakura mentally calculated, it will be 7:30 AM. Still too early, still 30 minutes until school begins.
Konoha Highschool or, KHS, for short, was considered the most prestigious highschool even in the whole Fire country. The only way to gain admission to KHS was through an extremely selective and competitive admission test. Only a mere 3 percent gain entrance, the top 3 percent. And Sakura, the studyhead she was, naturally, she gained admission to KHS.
A few months ago, when her acceptance letter from KHS arrived, she was practically bouncing up and down from joy, but that was a few months ago.
Now, she could feel nothing. Everything passes through her, every bit of emotion.
The first day of school was 3 days ago, and if she wasn't so extremely depressed, then she would probably have marveled at the school's intricate and beautiful architectural desgin. The large pool at the basement floor, and the large cases of awards dangling like eye candy.
Ring ring
Sakura felt her phone vibrating through her jacket. Reaching into her pocket, she frowned as she saw that it was a call from Ino, her childhood friend.
"Hello? Ino?"
"DON'T JUST HELLO ME! SAKURA, WHERE ARE YOU? I THOUGHT WE PROMISED TO WALK TO SCHOOL TODAY!"
Sakura flinched, that's right, she realized. omgomgomg...
"Ah! I'm sorry Ino, " Sakura murmured genuinely, "let's meet up now."
"WHERE ARE YOU? I AM AT OUR MEETING SPOT, THE CONVINIENCE STORE RIGHT OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE!"
"I'm already at the bridge, I'm go-"
"WHAT! YOU'RE THAT FAR AHEAD ALREADY? HOW DARE YOU! JUST WAIT TILL I CATCH YOU!"
and with that, the call ended with a beep. Sakura felt slightly annoyed, not at Ino, but at herself. Ino was visibly irritated and it was all her fault. She was just so stupid..how did she even get into KHS in the first place?
Ten minutes later and a huffing Ino finally caught up to Sakura. Sakura grimaced as she smelt the strong fragrance of perfume Ino sprayed over herself. "YOU!" Ino puffed, "Uh! I gotta reapply my makeup now! It's all smothered from me runnin!"
Saura wanted to tell her that she looked good without makeup nontheless, but she couldn't bring herself to say that, so all she did was with a incline of her head, she apologize again to her friend.
Finally allowing herself to stare at Ino properly, Sakura noticed her friend was wearing a cute spaghetti strap dress, the dress hugged her figure beautifully and showed off her friend's figure.
Unlike me, Sakua peered at her gray jeans and mini red jacket, she looked so plain beside Ino.
Still panting, Ino shook her head, slipping her hand into Sakura's arm, she holded on. "Never mind that! Did you choose what club to pick yet?"
"Not yet, I don't think I'm interested. Ino, aren't you joining the Gardening club?"
"Well yes, I was planning to, but I'm also very interested in the flower pressing one, but I can choose both right? Well, we are limited to only three clubs freshman year, so I think I'm going to join a third one. And knowing you, you won't be interested in flowers or anything. That's pretty ironic actually! You're named after the cherry blossom!" Ino laughed, "when spring comes, we could see those Cherry blossoms! It's still pretty hot outside, September is still summer, you know!"
Sakura felt her lips raising into a small grin, "it's more autumn."
Ino rolled her eyes, "Whatever. It will be autumn to me when the leaves are falling. Anyways, back on topic, knowing you, you wouldn't join any flower making cub, and I want to at least share one club with you..so.."
"I don't know, Ino. Maybe I won't join any clubs."
"WHAT?! Are you serious Sakura? Freshman year is important for you to get to know your new schoolmates better! Wait a sec!" Ino flipped out her phone, "our school newspaper had all of our school clubs listed! Hmm..lemme see.."
Sakura could already see KHS, they will arrive soon, with a brief glance at her watch, it was 7:57 AM. Yikes, talking with Ino really made time pass by fast. Well, they should probably get there by 2 minutes, so they're on time.
"Look Sakura! This says Toenail club! Omg! How hilarious!"
"Ino..that says Tutor club...how did you even mistake it for Toenail club..?"
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"What's your first period class?"
"Math, I believe.. Room 225."
"Awe shucks, I got SS first, " Ino cluck her tongue and slammed her locker shut. "Well, we both have lunch 5th, I'm going to introduce you to my friends!"
Sakura grimaced, "oh..okay, Ino, I gotta go, my teacher is pretty harsh about being on time.."
"Oh..um, see you fifth!"
Sometimes Sakura forgets that Ino wasn't like her, quiet and reserved. Sometimes she forgets that she was the only one with depression. Sometimes she forgets that Ino has friends already. And Sakura will probably be a loner throughout her four years at KHR.
Or maybe it's because she looked absolutely horrendous. No one would want to be friends wth her.
She felt lonely.
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Author's Notes:
Alright! That concluded chapter one of Resolution, and this chapter was solely intended to let you see Sakura's low self esteem due to her clinical depression.
Im pretty sure that characters will pop up pretty soon! Sasuke will appear next chapter!
READ AND REVIEW!
