Faking It

Prologue


Disclaimer: Twilight isn't mine. S Meyer owns all.


"He Left, Bells. He's not coming back."

"I know," I relied, almost petulantly, my voice shaky.

"He hasn't tried to contact you - he hasn't called, he hasn't written, and I'm sure he hasn't emailed. He doesn't care Bells."

Silent tears streamed down my face. It was the first sign of emotion in nearly a year, the physical manifestation of a forced epiphany.

He's really gone. He doesn't care, never did. Staying in a town just to feel close to him, hoping he would return to me one day, was breaking me and molding me into a numb shell of my former self.

My father grabbed my hands from across the table, searching my usually blank eyes for understanding. He breathed a sigh of relief.

"You see now, Bell, that its for the best? You can get a new start, you'll have your mom, make new friends. You realize its over now, don't you?" he asked sympathetically.

"I finally get it dad. I really do. Its just… I'm going to miss you so much. I've only just got you back and now because I can't deal with being dumped, I'm going to lose you again!" I sobbed. He scooted his chair closer to me.

"I'm gonna miss you too kid. So much. But this is what you need." he started crying too, just a lot less obnoxiously than me.

"I'll visit whenever I can, whenever you want. You can call or write, I'll even learn to work the computer and you can email." We both chuckled at that, despite our tears.

"Okay dad. I'll move with Mom and Phil." I said, my tears slowing down.

"I'll call Reneé. We should get this done quickly. Because of school." he added quickly.

I nodded.

He looked at his watch. "Looks like you're gonna be late on your last day at Forks High."

"Dad, I'd really rather not." I said quietly.

"You don't want to say goodbye to your friends? Tell them you're moving?" he asked, shocked.

"Friends? What friends, dad?" I laughed humorlessly. "I haven't talked to any of them in months. Its best to just go, not make a spectacle."

"If you're sure…" he said reluctantly.

I thought of the last few months.

I was snug in my shell, avoiding everyone, everyone avoiding me. They probably won't miss me, probably won't even realize I'm not there anymore. Why make things awkward by forcing an emotional goodbye?

I nodded.

"Alright, well, I'll call your mom. Start making arrangements with the school and look into your flight."

I nodded again and walked upstairs to the bathroom to wash my tear-stained face.

I splashed my face with water and looked in the mirror. I looked horrible. My pale skin looked sickly, my cheeks thin; my dull brown eyes were lifeless, more unattractive than usual, and I had bags under my eyes. I stared at my appearance in distaste.

"Bells, you alright in there?"

How long had I zoned out for?

I wiped my hands on the hand towel.

"I'm fine dad," I opened the door. "I just zoned out."

"Oh," he replied. "Well, I talked to your mom. She's happy you're coming with them, despite the circumstances. She's looking into a connecting flight, so you all can fly together to California. She said she'd call with the time. I also talked to the school. They're getting the process started, I just need to go in and sign some paperwork. I'll go deal with that and head into the station for the rest of my shift. No cooking, we'll go out for dinner, lunch if you finish what you need to."

"Sounds good, dad. I'll just start packing." My voice faltered at the word.

I walked to my room. I waited until I heard the cruiser pull out of the driveway before I broke down, sobbing in my old rocking chair.

I'm not just saying goodbye to forks or to Charlie. I'm saying goodbye to my dream, my dream of forever with Edward. A small, heartbroken part of me believed he left because I was almost hurt by Jasper, not because he didn't love me. I thought that he had actually loved me all along. But he doesn't love me. I have to give up the dream, grow up. I always thought of myself as sensible, mature for my age. But when it came down to it, I was another love-stricken teenager, nursing a broken heart.

I'm going to move to California and really try, not just float around in my own insecure little bubble. I'd never get over him, of course, but I would try. For Charlie, for Reneé, for myself. I'm going to California and become a whole new girl. It'll be hard to change from boring Bella Swan but the old saying will be my mantra: "Fake it 'til you make it."


I know the idea of an alternate New Moon has been done to death but I would really appreciate it you gave my story a chance!

New 7/12: ITS GREAT TO BE BACK! A small part of this story has been changed. Instead of going to Jacksonville, at this time in the story The Dwyer's are moving to California and thought Bella would join them on their fresh start. Plus, I'm a Cali girl, so I thought this would be fun :)