The look on his mother's face when Mayor Undersee presented him with the cold circle of metal that was supposed to make up for the fact that he was now forced into being the man of the house at the age of thirteen.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
It's the only thing he can do to keep the tears from coming again.
Think of happy things, like the color of the sky when the sun rises.
Mayor Undersee steps up onstage and prepares to speak to the small crowd of people gathered in the main chamber of the Justice Building. Some are crying, like his mother. Others are biting their lips and twisting handkerchiefs to keep from doing so. One women is clutching a young boy, presumably her son, so tightly that Gale's afraid she'll cut off the circulation to his arm. And then there's the woman in the corner, absently braiding her daughters hair while she stares at the stage with eyes as blank as slates.
"We have all been summoned here today to honor the fallen," Mayor Undersee announces in a booming voice.
Vick laughing and laughing when Rory tickles his stomach.
"What happened in section 17 of the Mines was undoubtedly a great tragedy, but not nearly as great as it could have been."
The satisfied feeling he had the day that he first discovered a squirrel had been caught in his snare.
"The miners, your fathers and brothers, were able to call out a warning to a crew working nearby, and thanks to that quick shout, all of that crew were able to make it home that day." Mayor Undersee pauses, as if he's waiting for a response, maybe even applause, but the people of this audience are too ruined to even throw a dirty look at the miners who lived, all of whom had been, for some reason Gale can not fathom, summoned to the Building as well and were standing together at the very back of the room, looking as confused as everyone else feels about why exactly they were invited to this.
Gale feels hatred boil up inside of him. Why should those men be able to go home and hug their children when his father can no longer do so? They were all in the same mine together. So why was his father incinerated while these men were free to run away?
Mayor Undersee continues with his speech, but Gale doesn't pay attention anymore.
Think of the baby, the baby in your mother's stomach right now. Your new brother or sister. The one who'll never have to know this horrible feeling of loss, who'll never even know that there was anything to lose.
One of the miners catches his eye, and Gale tries to glare at him. But he can't.
This man, boy, really, can't be more than 19 years old, though he looks younger. He didn't force Gale's father down into those mines. He didn't mean to abandon him there, sealing his fate to be death by fire. This boy was just doing what he had to. Maybe he had a family who needed to be fed, too. Maybe that's why he was down in the mines in the first place.
Unfortunately, Gale doesn't have the same options as this boy.
The baby, who's going to need formula, and baby food, and clothes and blankets and a crib and -
How in the hell are they going to survive? Winter is approaching fast, and right now there aren't many people looking to hire a fourteen year old boy whose only claim to worthwhile skills is a knack for catching wild animals.
And that's not even getting to Rory and Vick, both of whom are growing boys and are going to need proper food to stay that way.
Six years. He's six years too young for the mines. But Gale's not really sure that this is a bad thing. He doubts that he could face the deep abyss everyday, knowing that it was and forever would be his father's final resting place.
His mother. What will he do about his mother, when the time comes for her to give birth? He knows the District Doctor is not an option. The town worker, who's only patients are Peacekeepers. He could never afford something like that. But he's a thirteen year old boy who doesn't know a thing about babies, except how they're made, and even that he's not all too clear on.
"We present these medals of honor to your family in memory of the ones you lost," Mayor Undersee's speech is now finished, and he begins to place medals around the necks of the other children on stage. They're all Seam kids, every last one. Surprisingly, Gale finds a sense of comfort in this. At least he's not the only one suffering like this.
There's always tesserae. His father always forbid him from taking out any, but in this situation he'd probably reconsider. There's always the woods, too. But even with tesserae and wild animals, how will they get by?
Gale doesn't look at the mayor when the medal is placed around his neck. Instead, he finds his mother's face out in the crowd. Meets her eyes, sees the tears leaking from them and the determined look they have in them and he knows.
They'll get by because they have to.
