A/N: I am obviously a fan of the Walking Dead and this idea has been floating around in my head for some time now. I tried to keep it as true to the show as I could without making anyone seem out of character. Anyway, please enjoy =)
Disclaimer: I do not own the Walking Dead
The sun had just risen above the horizon, its soft rays peeking through the open curtains of the bedroom. Motionlessly, a young woman lay in bed with the sheets bunched up at her waist, allowing the warm rays to kiss the exposed skin of her arms. She had been up for hours staring at the door, unable to sleep. She took a deep breath before sitting up in her bed, bringing her knees to her chest and cradling them. Her eyes were misty with unshed tears. She wanted to cry, but what would be the point anymore?
Her naturally tan, bony hand reached out to the other side of the bed, softly stroking the pillow that was cool against her kind hand. His scent still lingered from the last time he laid his head there. The cologne he wore was strong and woodsy, but she always enjoyed the smell on him. She felt pathetic for touching a pillow with so much affection, but it was the only thing she could offer her love to. She wanted to hold him, tell him she loved him, but he was no where in site. All she had was a pillow that smelled like him.
She turned her alarm clock off before it could even start its obnoxious beeping. It was time for her to get ready for work and she was dead tired. Her back ached and her head pounded softly from her lack of sleep. Forcing her thin frame from bed, she stiffly dragged her bare feet to the bathroom.
She frowned as she eyed her reflection. Dark purple circles had made a permanent home under her eyes it seemed. Her face was slightly sunken, making her china blue eyes and cheek bones stand out more. She touched her reflection, pressing her fingertips hard against the mirror, just wanting to touch something, anything. Maybe this face had driven him away. She had never been considered beautiful, a gem, not like the girls he used to date.
Why had he married her? Her eyes darted to her modest wedding band at the thought. She always wondered what he saw in her. For as long as she knew him, Shane Walsh had dated girls that could pass for models, even back in high school.
They were always thin with straight pearly teeth, flowing hair that was never out of place, and charming personalities that only southern girls could possess. Those were the girls guys drooled over and fought to get on their arms.
Nothing was special about her though. Her hair was always limp to the touch and she was far too shy to be charming. She never even made a man take a second look at her or flirtatiously compliment her. She sometimes found herself longing to have a man tell her how pretty she was. She wasn't fishing for compliments, she knew she was alright on the eyes, well at least she thought she was. Being called pretty was something she rarely heard.
She was dressed in her minty green scrubs and white crocs, ready for work. Standing in front of the mirror, she pinned on her name tag that read 'Alice Walsh'. She loved her job at the town's hospital. She knew just about everyone and they all knew her. Nothing made Alice feel more fulfilled than helping people, well besides dancing.
Alice hummed softly to herself, swaying to the sound of her own music as she fixed her stringy honey blonde hair in a ponytail. It had been so long since she had gone dancing. Shane had never taken her, even when they were dating. When she had actually thought about it, other than their first dance at their wedding, she couldn't recall a time he danced. Even then, at the happy occasion, his heart didn't seem fully into it. It was almost as if even then he knew he could never love her fully.
However, would be a lie to say Shane didn't love her in some way. What way was what she couldn't figure out. He always swore he'd never settle down, but something about Alice made him take that step. Shane's mother had told her it was because he was tired of superficial women without personality and wanted something meaningful.
Alice didn't know what it was, and to ask Shane would be pointless. He had a way of avoiding her questions to the point that she forgot she even asked one. She knew those on the outside looking in couldn't understand why she stayed with him.
Most people figured it was because of her religious upbringing that wouldn't allow her to divorce him, but that wasn't it. At least that wasn't all of it.
She loved Shane and even though he could treat her so badly, he had a way of making her forget when he would start to romance her. He would whisper sweet nothings in her ear, make her feel special and like she was the only one, but she knew she wasn't. She never could be because it wasn't in Shane's nature to be with one woman.
Maybe he could love a woman, but not be in love. She always found herself trying to rationalize his behavior. It had been told to her a few times that if she had to think of excuses for how he was, there was a problem.
There was a problem though, and Alice knew it was her. It had to be because she wasn't trying hard enough to keep him happy. Maybe if she cooked better, dressed better, gave him what he wanted in bed, he would have been there with her. Maybe he would love her like she loved him.
Both her swaying and humming halted when she heard knocking at her front door. She frowned to herself, wondering who would show up to her house early in the morning. She gently placed her milky white, plastic brush on the sink and made her way down the stairs of the quiet house.
Peeking through the curtains, a soft smile curled her lips. She quickly opened the door, excited to see the person that stood behind it. A woman with wavy dark brown hair, holding a book to her chest, smiled at Alice.
"It's not too early, is it?" she asked before stepping into the house.
"Not at all." Alice replied as the two women embraced each other warmly. "Where's my favorite boy?" she asked, looking back outside, wondering if she had missed the child.
"His father is driving him taking him to school." The woman answered, frowning deeply.
"Is that why you're here this early?"
Nodding slightly, she started to speak. "Somethin' like that. Me and Rick got into it again last night. He's trying to butter me up by taking Carl to school, but I was still too mad to even look at him this morning." Alice frowned, closing the front door.
"Lori, he's a good man you know." She spoke, watching her thin friend walk towards the kitchen.
"I know that Alice." Lori replied quickly as she took a seat at the kitchen table. "It's just, he's hardly home any more. He works all the time. I asked him if he cared about work more than me and Carl, and do you know what he said?"
Alice followed behind her and started the coffee maker, knowing Lori would ask for a cup. "What?"
"He said that he had to protect the town so it could be safer for me and Carl. He didn't even answer the question."
"He kind of did though." she shyly spoke.
"No, he didn't." she replied, brooding.
"He's trying to make it safe for you guys, obviously he cares."
"A safe town isn't gonna spend time with Carl." She replied, covering her face with her hand.
"I'm sure Carl understands-"
Her hand slipped off her face and slammed onto the table. "How would you know what he understands? You don't know how a child feels without a parent around. When you're a mother, you'll understand why this bothers me so much." Lori snapped. She quickly covered her mouth, remorse washing over her. Alice bit her lip, eyeing her crocs. Lori shot up from her seat and quickly pulled Alice into a tight hug. She knew she had said too much. "I'm so sorry…"
"It's… Let's just forget it. I'll make you a cup of coffee." Alice pulled away from the hug and quickly walked over to the cabinet with all the mugs.
"Have you two talked about it?" Lori hesitantly asked.
"What's there to talk about? He doesn't think it's the right time for us to have kids."
"Maybe if you sat Shane down and-"
"Look, one day we'll have kids. If Shane says now's not the time, then we'll just wait till he's ready."
Lori's brows knitted together as she crossed her arms over her chest. "And just how is that fair to you? Alice, you've wanted kids since you got married. That was five years ago." Alice slammed down a mug, making Lori jump.
"Shane knows what's best for us, alright?! That's it."
"Stop defending him!" Lori knew she was pushing it. "What has Shane done for you that makes him worth staying with?! When's the last time he came home and stayed?"
"Shut up Lori…" Alice felt her chest tighten. "You don't know what you're talking about-"
"Everyone has seen that tramp he's been parading around town with!" Alice felt her breathing stop for a moment. Lori's face dropped when she realized Alice had no idea what was really going on.
"Shane's been… Going around town with her?" she stumbled to the table and flopped down in a chair, burying her face into her hands. "I knew he was with her… But to go out in public…" She wanted to be mad, yell, throw things, but all she could do was sit there and feel like everything wrong was her fault somehow.
"I'm so sorry Alice." Lori soothingly rubbed her friends back. "I thought you knew he was going out with her. If I had known, I would have never…"
"No, it's alright. I rather hear it from you anyway." Alice mumbled.
"What are you gonna do?"
Alice shrugged her shoulders, bringing her hands from her face. "I have no idea Lori."
And so that concludes the first part!
