All of a sudden in a split second Vicki was pushed to the floor, unknown to us what was about to happen.

Robbie instructed me to look after her, she was practically pleading for me to help her but there was nothing I could do.

She was gasping for air, I tried to help I even called out for an ambulance but nobody did.

Vicki suddenly told me to tell her that she would be okay.

"You'll be fine" were my exact words not knowing for sure if my words would be reality.

I shouted for someone to get an ambulance again but louder this time, still my request was ignored it was as if I didn't exist and that Vicki was suffering all on her own.

Her next words were that she was frightened. She then told me to pray with her, I took her words and put them into action, silently praying in my head that she would be ok.

Robbie then made his appearance, at that moment Vicki stopped breathing, her eyes were closed and her head had turned to the side.

I looked up at the crowd then Robbie, all witnessing Vicki die in my hands, all seeing my failure, all looking at me as if I had killed her.

_
Before I knew it Vicki's body was taken to be examined. The same lethal drug which was used to kill Ruben.

Standing face to face with the body just reminded me to add that moment to the long and painful list of my failures.

"I heard you were with her when she died". Was to Laura some news but to me it felt like a repetitive punch to the gut. You were with her when she died kept lurking in my brain, not wanting me to forget how I could have saved her if I had tried harder or did more to save her , my best just wasn't good enough.

I was abruptly shaken out of my thoughts when Robbie came over to me and laid a hand on my shoulder.

"I should have stayed with her "I blurted out without thinking.

"Well don't give yourself a hard time over it James" Robbie said gently but with a hint of firmness.

I wish it was as easy as that, Robbie was the only one who made major times such as this seem like a minor problem by only saying the fewest of words.

But for my mind everything seemed to be easier said than done.