A/N : Okaaaaaaaay.. .. can I get anymore emo than this ???.. ..
Penguins hand me eyeliner.
Me ( insert gleam in eyes) : Clearly I can.. ..
I couldn't believe it. I just couldn't.
Hotaru thought I was senile not to believe it.
But you tell me, would you believe it if your best friend.. .. an innocent potty-headed parrot panty girl left you a suicide note?
I cant believe it.
I don't.
I wont!
Though it's kinda dumb on my part because the evidence is right here in my hands and the confirmation is in a coffin , burried.
Tears are slowly started to pour out of my eyes as I continued to read the letter.
" So now that you know i've been hiding behind your backs and going for missions.. .. I have only one last wish. Considering that I'm probably dead if you read this.. .. I hope you don't hate me.
All these years I never really understood why Natsume was always such a PMS crabby-pants when he used to comeback from missions.
I always thought that protecting your home ( The Academy I mean) and your friends should be something that makes you feel whole. Complete . Useful .
But now I know why Natsume really hated my smiling and crack-head ways.. ..
Natsume , if your reading this . I just want to say that I am so sorry for ever giving you stress about anything. I know you hated me and my smiles but you have to know that my mindless smiling was my only escape !
But I don't blame you because now I know how you actually felt.
Used. Guilty. Filthy. Like.. .. like scum! You felt no different from those you fought and it made you feel like an animal.
I get it now and so , to make you see what lead me to take this drastic measure and the intensity of my self repulsion I just want you to read the list of events that occured right after I wrote this.
Any pain felt was unintented . Im sorry . But I know these two words won't suffice.
So to assuage you I want you to know - I love you , Natsume. You had me at " polka-dots!". "
Tears started to stream down my cheeks as my heart said what I could not say out loud.
I read further.
" You're scum!" I said .As I saw him plead.
" You're scum!" I said. As I watched him bleed.
" You're scum!" I said. As I savoured his dread.
" You're scum!" I said. As I shot him in the head.
" He was scum." I said. As I reached over the bed.
" He was scum." I said. As I held the gun to my head.
" He was scum." I said. As I looked myself in the eye.
" He was scum." I said. " But then so am I."
-bang-
I understand Mikan. I understand.
Im sorry too.
And suddenly those two words held no more meaning than Mikan's death.
A/N : I knows.. .. I knows .. .. tis rather depressing .. .. though I must point out that the poem was an original.. ..
REVIEW !! I WANT REVIEWS!!!
oh.. . .I am currently working on the next chapter for Egos and Lesbians.. .. do not fear ! It shall soon be posted here !! ( :D that rhymed !!)
I finally got one of my idiot friends to Beta that monster.. . so hopefully it won't suck as much.
