Now You're Stuck in a Moment

Category: Angst/Missing Scene

Pairing: Helen/Will

Summary: If he's learnt anything it's not to trust the scale of their emotions whilst trapped in a confined space.

Warnings: Rated M. Contains adult scenes and spoilers for Carentan.

Disclaimer: Own nothing, nudda, zip!

Authors Notes: So my flight was delayed due to the ash cloud, meaning I had time to get this out :) It's set just after Helen interrupts Will and Josie.


"I mean, has it ever occurred to you we may not solve this problem in my lifetime?" He's holding her gaze, looking for reassurance but a doubtful expression mirrors his own and he turns away hoping she'll leave it at that.

But she doesn't.

Instead her hand feels like a hot knife penetrating his shoulder, the touch burning through the thin material of his shirt and even though it's intended as an act of comfort he pulls roughly away from her, "I can't-" the words converge in his throat, jamming together and he lets the momentum build before opening his mouth again. "I can't be stuck in this damn god forsaken bubble! I'm looking at the rest of my life here, so tell me how is that fair?"

She flinches at the outburst but it doesn't deter him. So what if it's pointless, irrational anger? He needs to let go, face the realisations that they're both hiding from and if that means raging at the universe then so be it. "Maybe it's selfish, I don't know and at this point I don't even care... but I shouldn't have to die here alone."

He turns abrasively and she tenses, regarding his back as a tight twinge pulls through her chest. They've been working side by side for nearly five months, living together and growing closer... but he still can't see it, still chooses to search for solace in everywhere but the obvious place. "You're not alone Will," she presses gently hoping to comfort him but the sentiment is thrown back in her face when he shakes his head blowing out a breath of frustrated air.

"Why because I have Josie?" He doesn't mean to be cruel. She's a sweet girl, incredibly gifted but the truth is that she's convenient. He doesn't want to fall in love simply because there's no other option, because it's been forced upon him. "I had someone, out there-" he gestures uselessly at the opposing wall, "but that's right, she's apparently going to be torn a part when this thing goes in what, less than three weeks real time!"

Maybe he and Abby wouldn't have lasted but once again he's been pulled into a situation where, thanks to The Sanctuary, he doesn't have a say in the matter and she's the only conduit he has to vent his anger. He loves his job but is it really too much to ask for an even an ounce of happiness in his personal life as well?

The silence settles around them and he gives into the temptation to face her reaction, expecting to land under yet another sympathetic or patronising frown but her coldness throws him off balance.

She's deliberately avoiding his gaze, a sheen of tears guarding her pained blue eyes and he doesn't need to be a psychiatrist to conclude that he's gone to far. But there's something else, a slight waver behind her expression that tells him he's hit a more personal nerve and he mentally backtracks trying to figure out the moment she stopped interjecting. "I didn't mean... of course I'm glad that you're here."

Bingo.

He catches her sharp wince and knows it's the reason she's upset but what he doesn't understand is why. It goes without saying that her presence is perhaps the only thing keeping him sane and when her hand shifts quickly to swipe a tear he's shocked and admittedly a little frustrated. "Magnus, come on... you know if I'm going to be trapped with anyone-"

"It's fine Will." She's blunt, drawing in a shaky breath as she tries to hide her embarrassment. She doesn't need him coddling her like a three year old particularly when he doesn't have the faintest clue as to what's really bothering her.

He knows his missed something, can see it now written clearly across her face but he's still at a complete loss to explain it. Since their arrival they've taken turns letting out their frustrations, getting angry and snapping at each other but this time it's something different.

His features soften on instinct but she deliberately keeps her eyes cast down and when he catches the barely perceptible tremble of her shoulders he feels a tight knot clench in his stomach. "God, I'm sorry... I didn't mean-"

What? He didn't mean what?"

He still doesn't know how he's managed to reduce her to this state but if he's learnt anything it's not to trust the scale of their emotions whilst trapped in a confined space. Even his own voice sounds desperate as he clambers to explain, relying on the basic nature of his instincts and the notion that whatever happens he can't get through this without her. "Okay look, I should know why I'm apologising but please just... don't be upset. I need you, you're here and I need you."

It's everything she wants hear but in the wrong context and her eyes sting sharply, wondering how he can be so close and yet nowhere near seeing the point. "Really Will it's fine-" this time she actually tries to make it sound believable because as much as denying the truth hurts, she can't begrudge him unrequited feelings. That's her own problem to deal with not his.

Her tone is impeccable and he'd believe it too, if not for the fact she still wont look up at him. There's a depth of mystery being directed at her shoes and he closes the distance between them, curling his fingers beneath her chin to force her gaze. For a moment he's captivated by the intensity of her bright eyes, holding her there and memorised by the few tears that slip free. She doesn't blink, doesn't so much as move and he rests his palm lightly against her cheek catching the moisture with his thumb.

"Will, stop..."

She's never been this open with him before but can't shut it off, doesn't know how to when his gaze is so tentative and caring. All she wants to do is curl up in his arms and forget about their situation, the world quite literally coming to an end around them but she can't and no matter how innocent his intentions are they're driving a sharp pain directly through her chest.

He can feel the tension build, her skin warming beneath his touch and suddenly understands the magnitude of her request.

God, he's been such an idiot.

"I didn't-" he swallows thickly, berating himself for not seeing the signs sooner. "When did you-"

"Does it matter?" Her voice is unintentionally harsh but she hopes it will deter him from giving the situation too much thought. Clearly he's never even considered the possibility of her feelings before now and she'd prefer he forget the matter entirely rather than be mortified further.

Her obstinacy is frustrating and he pulls his hand back thrusting it through his hair. He can't believe she would dismiss the situation so quickly, that she would close herself off with something like this hanging over them and a sudden rush of anger directs his response. "Of course it damn well matters!"

She flinches as he moves away, curling her arms defensively over her chest and narrowing her gaze, "this is precisely why I didn't mention it. I didn't want it to become an issue between us, to make things any more difficult than they have to be!"

It's a weak excuse and he spins toward the cop out matching the judgement in her tone, "that's bull! You didn't tell me because you were scared, because you didn't want to be rejected!"

He's partially right but at the same time she sees nothing wrong with wanting to protect herself. The defences have been put in place for a reason. She wouldn't have survived nearly one hundred and sixty years without safe guards and pushes that fact refusing to feel guilty for them. "Excuse me for wanting to keep a little professional dignity, tell me what's so wrong with that?"

"How about the assumption that I would reject you in the fist place-" the admission rolls off his tongue, fired up by astonishment, "I mean look at you, you're... god, what aren't you? You could have any man you want but you won't even try because you're too damn scared to make another mistake like Druitt!"

He's breathing heavily as the realisation of his outburst starts to sink in, the hot words fading into silence and he can't stand the tension any longer. In barely two strides he's in front of her, facing a myriad of emotions that would be impossible to decipher and instead of trying he forcefully finds her lips, crushing the idiotic notion that he wouldn't want this out of her. It takes less than a second to become an almost desperate need, one that he can't control and he groans pressing her into the work bench as her hands fervently pull the buttons on his shirt.

He wants to feel her touch everywhere, all over at once and he's shaking so badly it's nearly impossible to rid the article of clothing but she does it in a swift motion and he's once again floored that someone of her standard would want someone like him.

The renewed intensity of his lips is more than telling and she equals the passion, reaching back and swiping the clutter from the surface behind them. There's an audible crash but she doesn't care about the damage, needing him to be closer, to expel the tension that's been building for months.

Her legs wrap around his bringing him near as possible and she gasps when he instinctively lifts her onto the bench, biting into his shoulder and suppressing a moan as he slips beneath her shirt. He tastes warm, saltly and she can't get enough digging her nails in to ensure he doesn't retract.

He understands her need and instead of fighting it lifts her off the bench, easing them down to his shirt that's acting half-haphazardly as a blanket. Quickly adding her top layers to the pile, he tries to flatten them out but she doesn't seem overly fussed about comfort.

"Leave it," she murmurs, dragging his head back down to her lips as he fumbles with the clasp on his belt. Her hand is steadier though, managing the task with little effort and carelessly tossing the item aside.

Shrugging off the jeans he skims his thumb up over her stomach and trails the movement with his mouth, encouraged by the rapid increase of her breathing. Despite her silent urging he takes his time working his way slowly over skin and she closes her eyes in frustration, shifting in the hope it will give her enough leverage to flip them. He doesn't allow it, sliding up to pin her arms down and latching onto her neck .

She shivers, arching as his tongue glides over the sensitive skin to her earlobe and she grinds against him hoping he'll take the hint and pick up the pace. It works and he bites down to conceal the growl threatening to escape. He wants to take his time, explore every inch of her body but she's making it impossible and he lets go of her writs moving to her trousers.

He pulls them off quickly, removing his own briefs in the process and steals a moment of pleasure resting his hand lightly against her hip. She jerks when his thumb teasingly slips beneath the elastic and any self control he has vanishes in an instant. She's more than ready and he abandons the notion of moving slowly, discarding the last layer between them and pushing into her.

She adjusts quickly, gripping his shoulders and relishing the feel of him moving inside her. There isn't a single coherent thought in her mind other than to keep the momentum building and her legs curl around his hips forcing him in deeper.

The jolt nearly sends him over the edge and he bites back a whimper, burying his head into her neck as he tries to focus. Her breathing the only solid foundation he has to hold on to as everything else blurs into non-existence and it's only when she cries out that he lets go, succumbing to the intense waves burning through him. For a split second nothing else matters, all his fears and doubts pull into a vacuum of warmth and he draws on the moment feeling utterly content.

She's right there with him, squeezing his arm as her senses slowly start to regain a bearing on the situation and when they do she waits patiently for him to come down from the high. He does so with a shuddering breath, sliding down to his collect his clothes and even though the movement isn't frantic, it is a reminder of their less private location and she mimics the action.

Pulling on his jeans, he fastens the button as she sits doing up her shirt and rather than find his own he stops to watch her. In his mind she's always been untouchable, so far out of his league that he wouldn't dare have given this a thought but something -aside from the obvious- has changed between them. Maybe it's because they've been trapped in their own little world away from the daily reminder of who she is but for once he isn't seeing her as the enigmatic Doctor Helen Mangus. He's seeing so much more.

Her gaze flutters up with a soft smile and he returns the gesture, sliding his body over the rough floor. She's a little surprised when he gently guides her fingers away opting to fix the last of her buttons but doesn't comment, merely bunches her hair back to give him better access.

When he's finished he drops the hand, resting it against her knee with a light sigh. "I'm not alone-" he breathes out slowly, holding her gaze, "and I'm sorry it took me this long to see that."

She wants to reassure him he has nothing to apologise for, that she was at fault as well but his lips seal the protest and she relaxes into the kiss. If they manage to break the time dilation field she doesn't know what will happen to them, if they can withstand a relationship on the outside but for now this shift in space has become their life.

They'll work to make it a home, no matter how temporary, together.