Hello! Wow - it feels so weird to actually be publishing a fanfiction that isn't for Dark Shadows. As a few of you might know, I write fanfiction for Dark Shadows, a Tim Burton/Johnny Depp film from 2012. While it was a fantastic movie and filled with fanfiction opportunities, I have exhausted many of them. It's time to start something else. So, here I am! My name is Ashley, and I would like to share my stories with you. I love Zuko, like almost everyone else, and I too think that he is character much too deep and inspirational to not write fanfictions about. But, unlike most authors here who focus on shipping/lemon stories, mine won't be like that at all. This is going to be a "House of Cards"/"The Blacklist" type story. BTW, those are amazing stories, and if you like this one (once we get more into it of course) you would probably like those. They are on Netflix.
Disclaimer: This story is (mainly) a political drama/angst story. While romance will play into parts of this book, it will not be a lemon or a shipping story. This will actually be a rather dramatic and dark story as we progress. I will change the rating to M within the next few chapters, so please be prepared for that. In this book, there will be references to child abuse, suicide, violence, and other adult themes. Make sure to keep that in mind, and please enjoy if you enjoy intense political/angst books!
Also, this book does not match up with The Legend of Korra. While it is roughly aligned, I am not in any way trying to make the politics meet up exactly. So please do not comment to tell me that "In Legend of Korra..." Thank you. Much appreciated.
Going along with that note, this is not regarding the storyline of the comics for Avatar, such as The Search and The Promise. They are good though.
Finally, I do not own the awesome creation that is Avatar: The Last Airbender.
Text copyright © AngeliqueBouchard1972™ 2015
The moral right of the author has been asserted. All rights reserved. This story is published subject to the condition that it shall not be reproduced or retransmitted in whole or in part, in any manner, without the written consent of the copyright holder, and any infringement of this is a violation of copyright law.
A single copy of the materials available in this story may be made, solely for personal, noncommercial use. Individuals must preserve any copyright or other notices contained in or associated with them. Users may not distribute said copies to others, whether or not in electronic form or in hard copy, without prior written consent of the copyright holder of the materials.
Synopsis
Zuko is a man of power, of intrigue. He stands alone, even while among his allies. It is his nature to be defiant. And when he sits upon a golden throne and feels the heaviness of absolute autonomy begin to cloud his mind, his defiance sparks up once more. Nothing can ever be the same again. The world must be reborn. In a world of fear and shifting politics, no is to be trusted. No except for Amara, that is.
Deliverance
"War is only a cowardly escape from the problems of peace." - Thomas Mann
A Fire Lord is many things. A commander, a cultural leader, a head of state, a celebrity. He is the most important person in the world. Below him, in ranking order: The Fire Lady, his children, his advisors, council members, relatives. Other heads of government follow the downward trail of authority until it trickles into the middle classes. Principles, mayors, merchants, and so forth. Lastly there are the peasants: farmers, teachers, workers, and finally, servants and concubines. While growing up in the royal palace of the Fire Nation, these ideas came as second nature to him. He gave them no thought, no question. That was the way things were always done, he had been told.
The Fire Lord could do whatever he wanted. He had complete and utter control. It was his natural right to rule, to oversee everyone below him. Everyone on the planet answered to him. Even the Earth King was below him. It was his god given right to rule. There was no debate. His world was finite, absolute. He followed in the ancient traditions and worked tirelessly to bring honor and success to his country.
The Fire Lord was his title. But it was not him. The time he spent while stripped away from his nation had changed him. Things were no longer black and white in his eyes. The world was full of colors, vibrant and rich. Nothing was set in stone, nothing was finite. Zuko had finally come to understand one simple, but revolutionary idea. His father, his grandfather and everyone that had come before him were no smarter than him. The world that he had always known was not real. It was all an illusion. The whole system that was created to bring order to the world was not infinite. It could be changed. He would change it. But as necessary as reform was, it was frightening for those who still clung to the ancient ways.
"Your Majesty," General Fong spoke with pertinence, "are we ready to begin?" Zuko's golden eyes surveyed the room, looking over his father's former advisors and generals. Well, the ones that had accepted him as the new Fire Lord. Aside them sat his Uncle, Avatar Aang, Katara, Sokka, Chief Hakoda and several delegates from the Earth Kingdom and the Northern water tribe. Zuko took a deep intake of breath.
"Yes."
"Aang, would you like to start us off?" The young monk raised his gaze from Katara.
"I think you should, Zuko." Even though Aang had defeated the Fire Lord and saved the world, he was still a child, and Zuko knew his discomfort with speaking in front of so many.
"Avatar Aang, in the Fire Nation it is respectful to address the Fire Lord as 'His Majesty'," General Fong said, a bit patronizingly. Zuko looked to Aang, who was fighting to keep his face neutral. Zuko waved his hand to dismiss the notion,
"That will not be necessary, General Fong." Aang smirked at Zuko in relief.
"But, Your Majesty, it is traditional to-," Zuko cut him off calmly,
"I know, General. But today, traditions will change." The older general only gaped at him in bewilderment. Not wanting to be addressed as 'His Majesty' was not in accordance with the thinking of the past Fire Lords. General Fong was right, it was tradition. But Zuko intended to change that.
"Allow me to explain myself." Zuko's rich voice resonated in the vast room, and the general's golden eyes looked over the Fire Lord incredulously, but he nodded nevertheless.
"Of course, my lord." Zuko pursued the room for a second before he stood up. The slight chatter ceased as everyone turned to look at the teenager at the head of the table.
"First off, I would like to welcome all of you who have traveled so far to be with us today. Especially our delegates from the Earth Kingdom: Ting and Miau; and the Northern Water Tribe ambassadors: Xui Li and Hao." The ambassadors gave a small nod to the Fire Lord, a slightly hesitant look in their eyes and stiff posture. Of course they wouldn't trust him. His father killed their people. Zuko held back a sigh and returned to look over the group in it's entirety. Several of the men, Hakoda especially, seemed very uncomfortable as well. He needed to loosen the tension before he started. Otherwise, this could be a very short meeting.
"Now, I expect we'll all be here for quite a while, so go ahead and get comfortable." Katara and a few others laughed, while Sokka took this quite literally and stretched. It seemed to calm the nerves in the room a bit. It helped to remember that the teenage Fire Lord was, in fact, capable of joking around. Many people were apprehensive of Zuko after his quick rise to power. They had heard of his wild behaviors. He had disrespected a man in court and been burned by his own father, banished, and later, exiled. Not only had he come back to the Fire Nation in recent years, but as soon as he returned, he left again. He had joined the Avatar and defeated his own sister, said to be as powerful as the Fire Lord himself, in an Agni Kai. Of course, he hadn't really won, Katara helped him defeat Azula, but she was never mentioned. Yes, the people knew of Zuko: the banished prince, Zuko: the dangerous traitor, and even Zuko: the war hero. But no one knew what he was like as Fire Lord.
"I'd like for you all to consider something," he paused briefly after checking to see that he had everyone's undivided attention, "today, in this room, we are creating the future. We are the new leaders of the world. We hold the world, or what's left of it, in our hands." Zuko noticed that mistrust that still lurked in several eyes around the room.
"I know that it would not be easy to trust me, and my country, after what some of you have been through. I don't ask for forgiveness you can not yet grant, but I do ask for a chance. A chance to prove that what I want for the world, and for myself, is different than those who came before me." Iroh's lip curled upwards in pride, or uncertainty, Zuko wasn't quite sure. Hakoda gave a subtle nod, though, which gave Zuko a bit of confidence.
"It's very obvious that sweeping changes must be made, by us. Changes that will create a new world. A world of peace, order, and stability." Zuko paused a bit and smiled faintly while looking towards his uncle.
"One of my Uncle's proverbs comes to mind today: 'Insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting different results." At that, Iroh nodded, a smile adorning his withered face.
"One of my best," he remarked happily. Despite having half his family imprisoned for life, Iroh was happier then than he had ever been. Seeing his nephew as Fire Lord, leading their nation into a time of peace, made him more proud than he thought possible. Zuko had changed much over the time they spent apart, and Iroh believed it was for the better.
"Indeed, Uncle. And in order to keep the world from being as divided and scarred as it has been over the past hundred years, we must do things differently. Our nations need this change, not only for peace, but in order to set a steady foundation for new generations to thrive." For a moment, Zuko and Aang locked eyes, and Zuko could easily see the passion and excitement in his young grey eyes.
"What types of changes are you referring to, your Majesty? Poticial? Economical?" General Shang had his brows furrowed in confusion.
"Precisely, General. But not only political changes." Zuko looked back to Aang,
"The Avatar I have been discussing such changes over the past week, with the consult of my Uncle, General Iroh, and although we are only in the preliminary stages of planning, Aang wanted to share some of our thoughts with you." Zuko motioned towards Aang before he sat down. Everyone turned to look at the young monk, clad in yellow air nation robes that were clearly too big for him. Zuko watched as he stood up, a bit less gracefully than Zuko had. It was still funny for Zuko to think about how such a small, defenseless looking kid had taken his father down - and taken his bending away. You would never guess that from just looking at him.
"When I lived in the Air Nation, a hundred years ago, our way of life was very different than today. It's strange to think that my people had a more peaceful and efficient government than most of the world does now. We had a republic, and a council of elders helped to make important governing decisions. People only ruled if they were elected, and deemed worthy of being in power." The Fire Lord nodded, thankful that he had payed attention in class when he was taught about the Air Nomads. He never would have guessed that he would be using that knowledge the way that he was, though.
"Zuko told me that the Fire Nation teaches about the Air Nation, so some of you might have known that already. But, about a month ago, I accidentally sat in on a class here in the Fire Nation, and during the lecture the professor asked: 'What year did Fire Lord Sozin battle the Air Nation armies?' That's an impossible question, of course, because my people never had a formal military. They were defeated by ambush. But that's not what's said in the teachings here. That can lead people to believe things that aren't true simply because they were taught it and told it was true." Zuko nodded once more, a bit anxious to continue with the proposal that they had agreed on. But nevertheless, the young Fire Lord continued,
"The Avatar makes a good point. I know that it is difficult to believe that what you have been taught is wrong, but nevertheless, it is true. Growing up, I was taught that the Fire Nation was superior to all other nations, and because of my royal blood, it somehow made me better than everyone else..." Zuko thought for a moment before adding,
"What an incredible lie that was. In my journeys during exile, I have learned the realities of the world, not only as people of the Fire Nation perceive it, but as it truly exists. The terrible suffering and pain that has existed during the past hundred years has been no one's fault but the Fire Nation's." A few hushed gasps and whispers rose up from around the room. Zuko knew it was outrageous for a Fire Lord to say such things about his own country, but it needed to be said.
"To keep not only the Fire Nation, but the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes as well, in a peaceful harmony, elements of our core beliefs and understandings must be changed. Otherwise - we risk the possibility of falling subject to despotism and corruption. It is obvious that the teachings of my own country were so polluted and twisted that they led my father, and many others in my nation, to insanity." Now that Zuko finally had said the basis of the plan he had been mulling over for weeks, he was more confident to continue.
"In order to combat this, we have decided that at this point, to further modernize the Fire Nation, and enter this new time with a clean slate," Zuko took a breath and and calmed his racing anticipations, "all offices will become open. Positions that existed while my father was Fire Lord will now be made new. This can allow all future decisions to be made with a clear and conscious hearts. Representatives from each of the four nations will vote in officers, and advisors of heads of state." Suddenly the room became filled with, almost frantic, chatter. General Shang, who had been staring at him uncomprehendingly for quite some time, spoke up,
"My Lord, you do not mean that all previous generals and commanders will be fired, do you?" Zuko cleared his throat, trying to remember the statement he had prepared for this very question.
"I know this is a very difficult process, but in order to-"
"I heard you the first time," General Shang cut him off rudely, while the room fell dead silent at the sound of the General's sharp tone.
"But a 'clean slate' might not be the best thing for the people right now. Have you considered that?" Zuko opened his mouth to speak, but the general boldly cut him off again, his words unyielding and rushed.
"They already had to comprehend that their previous Fire Lord was imprisoned. Now you want all of us to leave? What about your Uncle? You do understand that if you do this, you will not only be revoking his position, but also leading your people into thinking that you're as power mad as your father? Clearing everyone out so that you can select those that comply with your own thinking? What if the people don't comply, and a war breaks out? Who would lead the Fire Nation into battle?" He was starting to yell, "You?! You're a teenager, how in Agni's name -"
"General Shang." Zuko's voice was silencing and his face was stern. His next words were forced from the tight line where his lips were pressed together, while his golden eyes were firmly locked onto the general.
"If you would have let me finish, General, I would have explained some things that would clear the confusion that you are experiencing." Zuko paused for a moment, knowing that if he could not verbally counter him, at least he could give him a piercing glare, "That is why you disrespected me just now, yes? Confusion?" Zuko raised his eyebrow and watched the older man shrivel back from his previously bold stance upon realising that he just committed a crime worthy of execution. Disrespecting the Fire Lord, teenager or not, was treason. Zuko knew that General Shang still thought of him as a child, stupid enough to show weakness in front of his father. But now, the General's pride could be his downfall. Zuko could have him killed and they both knew it.
"Yes, your highness." The general spoke in a much softer, more submissive tone than before. Zuko took a breath and straightened out his posture from underneath the heavy shoulder ornament he was wearing.
He had expected at least one of the generals to get angry with him, that much was obvious. But he never expected General Shang, a firm supporter of peace, to insult him so openly. Though he knew that he could not be like his father and establish his leadership through intimidation or fear, he had to establish it in some way. He could not have this kind of direct insubordination.
"There is something that you don't quite grasp. The idea to make all positions open in order to establish peace within our nations was not mine. The Avatar and my Uncle came up with the idea, in which I would not be a representative from the Fire Nation, but one of the candidates." Zuko spoke the words loudly and clearly, and instantly all of the Fire Nation Generals locked their eyes onto Zuko's form, astonished.
"What?" General Fang looked as though he was completely convinced that Zuko was a madman. Zuko knew he was one for tradition, and that it exactly why this would be hard for him to grasp.
"In this scenario, which remind you, has not been finalized yet, not only the generals and advisors would be removed from their current position, but me as well. I would relinquish my position as Fire Lord and apply for a position along with everyone else. It would not even be possible for me to stack congress because I would not be choosing which applicants would be accepted - leaving there no possible way for me to abuse my power." The meeting room fell silent.
Later that day...
"All those in favor of clearing the positions of the current advisors to the Fire Lord, and to have a group of representatives from each of the four nations vote to decide upon one final candidate, say aye." Many 'ayes' could be heard around the vast room. Zuko took a deep breath. They had discussed many things over the length of the day. It was very difficult to keep the sludge moving along in a room filled with a bunch of old men kept in their ways. Finally, they had agreed to vote upon appointing him a new advisor.
"All those opposed, say nay." Several 'nays' could be heard, and hushed comments followed. The scribe, a young man from the Earth Kingdom, addressed the room:
"Fourteen to nine. The legislation passes." The room broke out into a hushed chatter, while Zuko stood, incredibly relieved to stretch out his aching legs. He forgot how much it hurt to sit cross-legged for so long.
"Thank you all for coming. This meeting is dismissed, but the council of five will begin their discussion revolving the selection of the new advisor in an hour." Zuko almost sighed out loud, knowing that by the time he followed up with Aang and eaten, he would be coming right back to the meeting room. Everyone began to stand up, and Zuko excused himself. Just as he had exited the room, Aang ran up from behind him,
"Zuko!" The young monk looked upwards toward his taller counterpart. Zuko looked much more imposing dressed in his formal attire.
"That was pretty intense..." Aang's tone was a bit childish, but Zuko tried not to pay to much mind to it. He knew Aang possessed wisdom much beyond his years.
"That was a pretty standard Fire Nation forum." Zuko continued to walk down the hall, with the little yellow-clad monk trailing behind him.
"Are they usually that long?" Aang was honestly curious.
"Sometimes," Zuko noted, walking into the antechamber where servants helped him remove the heavy outerwear that was traditional for the Fire Lord to wear. Aang watched as Zuko stretched, relieved, and began to walk down another hallway.
"Do I have to go the next meeting, Zuko? I can't stand sitting for so long." One of the servants was watching them as she assembled flowers in a vase, eyes bulging. No one was supposed to address the Fire Lord by first name in front of others, let alone ask to get out of an important meeting. Zuko actually laughed out loud at how obviously he was not Fire Nation.
"That's fine, Aang. I'll have Hikoshi brief you on what we discussed tomorrow."
"Thanks." Zuko simply nodded and turned the corner towards the banquet hall.
"Hey - do you think that I could go to the royal training area after dinner? I haven't worked on my firebending for over a week." Zuko looked down at the him,
"Sure, but I can't teach you. I'm in meetings until late tonight." Zuko eyed the elaborate tapestries that adorned the south hall as he walked. He had missed the palace so much when he was away. But now that he was here, it felt a bit too much like his father was still there. Like he would round the next corner, yellow eyes gleaming in discontent with his heir.
"Okay," Aang seemed a bit disappointed, "Can you work with me some other time? You're a really good firebending teacher." Zuko chuckled a bit,
"Maybe, I'll try." They entered the banquet hall and Zuko looked over everyone who was there. His uncle was missing, but that made sense. Zuko headed towards the table, eyeing the beautiful arrangements of food and drinks laid out specifically for him. Trays of dragon fruit and spicy chicken were calling his name. Out of nowhere, Aang spoke,
"It kind of sucks that you're the Fire Lord now..." Zuko turned around to look at him, and scoffed,
"What?" Zuko couldn't believe he had actually heard him say that. Several of the people in the room were listening to them. Suddenly, Aang's eyes got wide and he blurted out,
"No, I didn't mean it like that - I meant because you can't teach me anymore. You know, because you're so busy." Zuko huffed in understanding, his next words low and quiet,
"You shouldn't go around saying things like that Aang. The Fire Nation is very different than what you're used to." Aang nodded.
"I know! In the meeting, when that guy was yelling at you - that was crazy." Many people had spoken out against him in the meeting, but Zuko knew which one he was probably referring to.
"General Shang, you mean?"
"Yeah." Zuko could tell that several of the servant's eyes were on them as they stood near the entryway, but he needed to talk to Aang before he forgot. He had so much on his mind.
"Aang, when you're in the palace, you have to be very careful what you say, and who you say it to. People will talk. If they think you don't respect me, it wouldn't be good for either of us. The same goes for anyone else." Aang furrowed his brows,
"But - they aren't going to be General's anymore, why would it matter if they think I don't like them?" Zuko tried not to visibly anger at his words.
"Listen to me Aang. You cannot talk about confidential matters in front of other people. Especially not matters that haven't been finalized yet." Zuko tried his best to keep his tone neutral, but it was difficult.
"But who could have heard us? We were alone."
"Not then, just now," Zuko said.
"What are you talking about, Zuko? Anyone at the table is too far away to hear us. You're being paranoid." Zuko brought himself down to a whisper,
"No, I'm not. Because we're not in private, Aang. The servants talk too. Some people in court go directly to them to get information. Don't let people know anything you don't want them to know. And don't talk about anything that happened in confidential meetings out in the open." The young Fire Lord raised his eyebrows to emphasize his point.
"Sorry, Zuko." Aang looked hardened, his shiny bald head appearing less childlike now.
"It's okay," Zuko mumbled as he sat down at the head of the table, next to Aang.
"This is just a lot to get used to." Zuko looked around the vast dining room, his eyes brushing over the familiar faces of his newfound friends. He looked back to Aang.
"I know. That's why I'm not upset." Katara had been listening to him and spoke up,
"How aren't you upset after that? General Shang was being such a -" Zuko cut her off with a wave of his hand and a sigh.
"Katara. We cannot discuss confidential matters in a public setting." His words were low and hushed once more, and Zuko was beginning to remember how annoying it is to live without privacy.
"But we're not in public. We're in your dining room," Katara said matter-of-factly. Zuko clenched his jaw and put down his chopsticks, wishing that he could have someone else explain the unspoken rules of Fire Nation government to her. Thankfully, Aang seemed to read his mind and leaned in towards Katara.
"No we're not," Aang said, his next words a whisper, "The servants, Katara." Katara looked to her right, seeming to just now notice the men and women posted at the far side of the room.
"Oh, I didn't know you had to be quiet around them. Why didn't anyone tell me that?" She seemed a bit angry. Zuko noticed that Katara always wanted to know what was going on and why. She avoided being out of the loop like the plague.
"It's okay, Katara." Zuko reached across the table to pick a dragon fruit from one of the platters. There was a moment of silence as everyone ate on their food. Zuko relished in the silence. The only time he seemed to hear it was in his morning meditations.
"So, do you like it, Zuko? Being the Fire Lord?" Katara took a bite from her dumpling, "You sure have to talk a lot." Zuko nodded,
"Mmm, I like it. But it's not like I'm that experienced. Five days doesn't exactly render me an expert. Katara smiled a little at his humility, brushing a piece of her hair back.
"Well, you did really good today, both of you," she said, gesturing to Aang while he excitedly ate his noodles.
"Thanks," Aang mumbled through his noodles. Katara laughed vibrantly,
"I bet he's not in accordance with Fire Nation dining edicate, is he?" Zuko looked at the Avatar for a quick moment, smirking a little. Zuko remembered how tense dinners like this used to be when he was younger. Azula, with her snarky comments, and his father, never even bothering to look his way.
"No, but that doesn't really matter." Katara looked at him, her eyes catching his scar. She had never really thought that much about it. That was how he always was in her mind. For a moment she wondered what he would look like without it. His skin would be pale and perfect, like the right side of his face. His marred golden eye would be cat-like and beautiful like his other. Katara realized that if he didn't have his scar, he would really be very handsome. But, he would look just like his father, so maybe it was for the best.
"It doesn't matter to you, you mean."
"That's definitely not one of my main concerns, no." Zuko dipped a dumpling in hot sauce, silently hoping that they would stop talking to him. When they were traveling together, he usually wasn't the main topic of conversation, Aang was, but after the coronation, people wouldn't stop asking him things. Even his friends. Zuko supposed that he shouldn't let it bother him. It was just that, over the past few years, he had become accustomed to no one caring about him or what he did. He was just a banished prince, and later, a fugitive.
"How can you sit like that all day?" Sokka's voice rang up from Katara's left hand side, "it hurts." Zuko looked at Sokka, having not even noticed that he was sitting there.
"It's Fire Nation tradition to not show pain. I'm used to it." He looked around the table, to Suki and Toph.
"That's stupid," Sokka scoffed. Zuko shot him a disapproving look. Katara nudged him,
"Sokka," she scolded.
"What? Why would you do something like that for so long with plenty of reason not to?"
"Because, Sokka, that's their custom and you shouldn't make fun of it."
"No, no. Sokka makes a good point," Zuko thought for a second about his previous discussions with his Uncle, "Aang, that's just what we needed."
"What?" Aang asked, having been paying attention to his food and not Sokka.
"The statement we were looking for, the one to present to the board when the time came - that's it."
"What's it? I wasn't listening." Zuko almost rolled his eyes. Sokka was four feet from him, and he still didn't hear him.
"Sokka, say that again." He looked towards the young water tribesman, who was taking a large bite from a moon pie.
"Why do something stupid for so long with reason not to?" Sokka said hesitantly, confused as to why it was so important. Aang raised his eyebrows.
"Ohh. That's a good line, Sokka."
"It is. I just need to remember it." Zuko looked behind him for a servant, and beckoned one with a flick of the wrist.
"Bring me a blank scroll and quill." The servant nodded and quickly made his way out the door. Zuko brought his attention back to the table and reached for his glass of rice wine.
"That's so weird," Katara mentioned, "you get to just order people around." Toph laughed loudly. Zuko looked towards the blind earthbender, wondering why she thought it was so funny. Then he remembered the story she told him about her childhood. She was the Beifong's daughter. Zuko knew about her family, his father discussed them several times when he was younger. The richest family in the Earth Kingdom. Her father owned half of the farming land in the world.
"I always forget that you're rich, Toph. You don't act like it." Zuko said, taking a sip of his wine.
"Oh - sometimes she acts like it. You just haven't seen her at her worst," Katara mentioned, an angry undertone to her words.
"Really?" Zuko asked.
"Yeah - one time, your sister and her friends were following us, and-" Zuko cut her off, unsure of what she was talking about.
"Her friends? What are you talking about?" Katara looked at him like he was stupid.
"Your girlfriend, Mai. And Ty Lee." Zuko huffed,
"Oh, okay. Mai was never really her friend, though." Zuko wondered what was taking the servant so long to get a piece of parchment.
"Sure she was. Why else would she work with Azula to capture us?" Zuko looked at Katara, realising that he had never explained this.
"Political gain," Zuko noted, "and boredom." Sokka scoffed, drawing Zuko's attention.
Sokka saw that Zuko was staring at him and spoke,
"It's just funny that we could have died because your girlfriend was bored." Zuko shrugged his shoulders.
"She almost killed me once," Katara added sternly, "She barely missed my throat." Zuko huffed,
"I don't think that's nearly bad as what I've tried to do." Katara furrowed her brows,
"You kidnapped me, Zuko. You never would have killed me, that's different." Zuko shook his head in the negative. Katara gaped at him,
"You would have killed me?" She seemed actually disturbed, but Zuko wasn't going to lie.
"If I thought it would get me home, yes."
"Why do you like it here so much? It's just a bunch of rules and traditions that you're trying to get rid of."
"That's not what I missed," Zuko simplified, not trying to get in deep about his personal thoughts with them in front of the servants. It made him uncomfortable.
"You missed your family? I thought you hated them." Suki chimed in. Zuko raised his gaze to her,
"No, of course I didn't miss them. I missed Mai," Zuko was about to say he missed his mother, but thought against it, "I missed the heat, the food, all the festivals and plays I used to go to. I missed the smells and the colors. I missed the sun. I missed everything." Aang looked at him sympathetically.
"I know exactly what you mean, Zuko. I miss everything about the Air Nation I used to take for granted." Zuko's gaze darkened and he looked down at his plate.
"But you would never kill anyone, Aang. You wouldn't even kill my father." Aang looked at him for a while,
"No." Zuko knew that he and Aang were fundamentally different, mostly because of how they were raised.
"But just because you might have wanted to in the past doesn't make you a murderer. You've never actually killed anyone," Katara said, "Right?" Zuko looked at her, his eyes dark and discontent. Suki scowled.
"I killed Zhao," Zuko said emotionlessly, "and several others during the war." Suddenly no one felt hungry anymore.
"What?" Aang asked. Katara looked taken aback.
"I told you that before, Aang."
"You said that Zhao died at the North Pole, you didn't say that you killed him." Zuko felt extremely uncomfortable now, realising that he was the only one among them who had killed people. The young Fire Lord gulped, the taste of the rice wine stinging in his throat.
"Well, I did. Can we drop it?" He blurted out, sounding more like a teenager than a Fire Lord. Zuko was still picturing the Admiral's face as he burned him. He was scared. He was so scared. And at the time, it made Zuko feel good to have that much power over him. He remembered Zhao's screams as he shriveled up, a ball of blackened, burning flesh, melting in the moonlight. Suki stared at him hard.
"Why would you kill Zhao? Wasn't he on your side at the time?" Sokka asked, eyebrows knit together in confusion. Zuko scowled.
"We were both trying to capture Aang. If he did before me, I never would have been able to come home. I would have banished forever." A long, awkward silence stretched after his words. Zuko missed not being the center of conversation. His life was nothing to be proud of.
"What do you mean 'others during the war'?" Katara asked. Zuko decided that his next meeting wasn't coming soon enough.
"You weren't a soldier," Sokka pointed out. Zuko rubbed his neck and dropped his head.
"When I was trying to capture Aang, people got in my way. I killed some of them in the process." Zuko didn't like to think about it. Sometimes he did when he was meditating. He heard screams. Sometimes they were his victims, and sometimes they were his own.
"Like my people," Suki pointed out, sternly. Zuko didn't have the bravery to face her, so he rubbed his temple instead. Agni how he wished they weren't talking about this. He hoped they knew he was sorry - because he didn't know if he had the humility to apologize for everything again. He didn't know whether to dismiss his past actions entirely or apologize for them. To not pay them any heed would be like his father, in prison for life. But to apologize for them would be like his mother, who was banished for life.
"Yes," he choked out. He took a deep breath and felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Katara's, brown and soft.
"Zuko, we all know you are a different person now, and that you're sorry about what you did." Her blue eyes showed sympathy and Zuko knew her feelings were deep. Since the Comet, she seemed to trust him more than anyone else, even more than Aang.
"You sacrificed your life for mine, Zuko. I trust that you're different now. No one else would have done that for me." Zuko smiled at her and placed his hand over the one on her shoulder.
"Thank you, Katara." His raspy voice stressed her name a bit. Her skin was smooth under his touch.
"I would have," Aang shot out, seeming a bit uncomfortable with their almost intimate closeness. Zuko sat up straight, realising this was inappropriate for the dinner table. Not to mention that he had a meeting to get to.
"Of course you would," Zuko said as he stood up from the low table, "It's Katara. Who wouldn't want to save Katara?" Toph snorted. Katara ignored her, though, and watched Zuko as he started to walk away. Suddenly a memory flashed in her subconscious. Fire. Blue and red. An odd starkness in the air, followed by the crackle of lightning.
"Azula," Katara huffed, remembering her wild eyes as she shot lighting at her, aiming to kill. Zuko looked back at her over his shoulder, a frown adorning his handsome face.
"That was rhetorical."
A young woman sat in a room filled with older men, all who seemed to have their eyes on her. She ignored them, though, and read through a piece of parchment, her posture straight. She was tall, with a slender frame and dark brown, sleek hair. Her face was outlined by a straight, elegant nose and full lips. She was pretty, but not intensely. Her red clothing showed moderate wealth, but that was normal within the capitol walls. Her skin was pale, but it was her eyes that made her stand out. They were mostly gold, but with flecks of green, and a dark outer ring. Her gaze drew people in instantly, no matter who they were.
"Amara," a man called out clearly, his eyebrows knit together in confusion. Yes, the application said that anyone could apply to be the Fire Lord's advisor, regardless of race or gender. But no ever expected a woman could be qualified for such a position. The woman raised her gaze to meet the man's, her expression serene, but her eyes gleamed brilliantly.
Her time had finally come.
Whew - that was the longest chapter I've ever written! About 6,500 words... It was worth it, though. But, did you like it? Please let me know your thoughts and follow because I will be updating both regularly and erratically. Did you like this writing style? Did you think the politics and relationships are realistic? Also, for those who have seen Legend of Korra, how do you think this works with it? Remember, this is not in line with Legend of Korra, but it is inspired by it.
Thank you for reading! And seriously, please leave me a comment. You'll make my day.
