Hello friends! We are now beginning the third, and final, piece of this trilogy that Jessy was an absolute darling enough to inspire me to write. If you're new to this, well, I highly recommend taking a look at Better Not to Breathe Than to Breathe A Lie, as well as Consign Me Not To Darkness before endeavoring to read this, otherwise it just might not make sense.

As ever-thank you all a million for reading, for sticking with me till this point, and I hope you enjoy! You're all the very, very best.


As with every civilization that came before, that had suffered and lost, that was bitter and determined not to fade into the back pages of the history books as nothing more than a memory, those who remained rebuilt. They continued on, the mortals too proud to give up so easily, and the Aesir doing all they could to offer their help. Splitting between both Asgard and Vanaheim, Loki and Thor oversaw the opening of new ports between the realms so that those with family on one realm or another could visit quicker, and Natasha worked with Sif and Steve to train those who had remained behind. In taking on the Skrull they'd lost many Asgardian soldiers, and with the threat of Thanos looming over Nat's head, a wicked blade of vengeance and despair, she was all too eager to be as prepared as she could manage. Those who stayed behind, human, mutant, and Aesir, were all too willing to learn, and as Tony and Bruce had assimilated into the culture the weapons that they were all given to train with were becoming better crafted, combinations of human engineering ingenuity and the magic the Aesir had so long taken for granted, the two meshing to everyone's surprise. Tony was all too glad to make use of the magic that had once been denied he and the others of Midgard, the ancient arts having been guarded heavily and kept away in the Allfather's fear of them being used against his people should the Midgardians have tried to take control of their planet once more.

Though she often all but fell into bed in the evenings from exhaustion, the training, the new weapons, everything helped take Natasha's mind off of what had happened, off of the nightmares that fueled her every evening, the Titan's bright eyes seeking her out even when she was safely nestled between the two men she loved, finding her and picking her apart piece by piece until she woke up shivering and screaming, Loki's arms wrapping tight around her as he held her through the worst of it, Thor reaching for the knife he now kept underneath the pillow, brandishing it at shadows and wind, those constant companions to the nightmares that plagued them all. Though neither of the men had as violent of fits as Natasha seemed prone to, they both suffered as she had, preferring to do it silently rather than wake the castle with their panicked shouts. She sometimes woke, after having fallen back into a less than restful sleep, to see Loki already having risen hours before they did, the heavy bags beneath his eyes only deepening as time went on. Thor, too, looked more and more exhausted as time wore on, the odd calm sinking into their bones until paranoia became as close a friend as fear, not just for themselves but those who they now claimed sovereignty over.

Thor was crowned a week after the Allfather's death and the destruction of Midgard, the celebrations understandably muted as they held a vigil not only to the honor and memory of Odin but also all who had fallen and been lost in the tragedies. Nat was certain it would go on forever, holding Loki's hand tight in her own throughout the naming ceremony, keeping him as steady as he and Thor did her, drawing strength from their presence as she blinked back tears. The ceremony would serve, she supposed, and did her best to commit to memory those she'd been familiar with losing. They would be avenged, she promised herself. Each of them would be avenged, if she had to take it out on Thanos' flesh herself. That, she told herself as she drank deep swallows of ale that evening, the toasting to the victorious, remembered dead going on even longer than the damn ceremony itself, would be no hardship for her.

It was Thanos' turn to be afraid, having taken everything from the humans, and given the Asgardians, and all those protected under them, a banner to rally under.


"You've nearly got it," Natasha said, an encouraging smile on her face as she wiped her brow of sweat, having thrown her opponent's weapon to the ground not moments ago. The young girl was red-faced and sweating, huffing quietly as she moved on silent feet to grab her fallen sword, pushing a piece of brown hair out of her eyes.

"I'm not used to fighting with a sword. Usually I just pass right through the guy and drag him into the ground," Kitty muttered, twirling the sword in her hand, the movement a little clumsy but getting better. It was certainly a far shot from where she'd been not a few weeks before, having complained of her arms being sore after holding the blade for more than a few minutes. Nat allowed her smile to turn indulgent as she tipped her own sword against Kitty's, meaning to flip it out of the girl's hold. She kept a strong grip on it this time, though, twisting it now to parry Natasha's own advancement, the scratch of metal on metal ringing in the almost empty training yard. The others had yet to rise, the sun only having made its way above the horizon line half an hour or so ago, the women having trained in the first lights of the day. The only others kept far enough back to remain out of reach, Xavier and Erik silent in one another's company, and Kitty and Natasha let them stay there as they entered another round, Kitty immediately putting Natasha on the defensive as she began to lunge her way closer. She moved quick as any Asgardian, light footed and so silent it begged the question whether or not Natasha was fighting against a ghost, but her sword hand was still clumsy, and she still had trouble with the balance. More than once Kitty allowed her guard to be dropped in favor of aiming a high kick at Natasha's face or throat, and though Nat would always dodge out of the way she was certain not every foe of Kitty's would be so lucky.

Shadowcat they called her, Natasha mused, as the girl slipped through the ground and popped up behind her, Nat barely managing to jump and avoid the low-sweeping kick that would've knocked her legs out from under her had she not been so keen to pick up on the girl's heavy breathing. She slipped the blade closer to the girl, but it wasn't the girl she was seeing, but the metal man that she'd faced against on Earth, whose eyes had gone blank as he looked up at her. Her sword fell to the side, Kitty's hand having kicked the loose weapon from her grip, and Natasha was soon to fall down as well, the ground harsh as it came crashing to meet her head.

"Sorry!" The young girl said quickly, her eyes blowing wide and her hand rising to cover her mouth, before the second stretched out to help her. Nat took it with a quiet thanks, though her palm felt clammy in comparison to Kitty's own warm one, and she was certain the trembling that she had to tamp down on had little to do with the strain of her muscles keeping her up, and more to do with the fact that every time she shut her eyes all she could see were the dead faces of those she'd lost, whether intentionally or by accident. All of them. They'd depended on her to keep them safe, she'd sworn she'd keep Thor in line. That she'd end it.

"Are you alright?" Kitty asked, her brow pulled tight as she looked up at the girl in concern. Nat wasn't sure how long she'd been staring at the same flat stretch of ground, and so quickly looked up and nodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Really good job, Kitty. Really good. I think that'll be it for today if you don't mind."

"Oh, sure. Yeah, thanks for meeting me so early and everything." The young girl pulled away and gave a half smile, holding herself tight. It hadn't been easy for her, adjusting, Nat had figured. She'd seen the way the girl had listlessly wandered the halls the first few days after the small council had been disbanded. She'd tried to engage her in as much as she could, but with Nat's own schedule having been full with trying to assimilate the rest of the humans and Aesir who'd been displaced with the new influx of guests to the realm, she hadn't been able to do much to offer any help. Now at least Kitty seemed to think she had a purpose, and Nat was grateful that she'd managed to at least help someone. The two parted ways with little else said between them, Nat snagging both of the swords before she looked up to see Xavier having made his way closer to the two of them, Erik gone.

"Professor," Nat said, dipping her head sa she forced herself to smile, slipping one of the swords into the sheath at her side. She refused to go without at least one weapon, though she was packing several at the moment, many of them small enough that they hardly made a difference even after she'd strapped the knives onto her thighs or back, and they all hid easily enough when she assumed the gowns expected of her as a woman of court. There were some traditions that had to be upheld, she'd reminded herself every morning when dressing in the flowing robes and constricting metal bustiers of the land, and it was a small sacrifice on her behalf she supposed.

"Lady Natasha," the man inclined his head slightly. "Can we take a moment?"

Oh. She hadn't been expecting that. After they'd decided on Vanaheim she'd assumed that Xavier would've left with some of the others who were unwilling or unable to fight, assumed his place would've been where he could help rebuild, such as his friend Hank had done, the blue furred man explaining he was far more of a thinker and helper than a fighter. She hadn't blamed him, though she'd wished she'd been able to go with him to Vanaheim, if only to see the reactions of the Vanir who caught a glimpse of him.

There was just no fitting in, she supposed, sometimes.

Xavier started down the path leading alongside the training grounds, which were now slowly beginning to fill up with the same recruits she'd seen Sif and Steve put through their paces right alongside Asgard's own guard. Nat took her place behind him, pushing him gently along the beaten track where she and Steve had ran when they'd first been soldiers, freshly taken from Midgard to be the newest members of Asgard's armies. She shivered at the memories. It seemed a lifetime ago.

"This is where you started, is it not?" Xavier asked, his voice light, bright as the slow rising sun, his eyes never needing to rise for her to know that she had his full attention, and she was reminded that he could read minds.

She nodded. "Yes. Not all that long ago, though it feels that way," she said with a small, humorless smile. "Hard to believe it. There was once a time when ten years would pass in a month here. I had been gone from Midgard for seventy years, but it was only seven months here." She murmured. The terror had been so pronounced then, when she'd found out just how much she'd missed, that everyone she'd ever loved had died while she'd been trained by the enemy, brought into the fold and into the beds of both princes. Eight months it'd been now, and there she was, married, and trying to figure out the best way to keep her second home from being destroyed. It was enough to make her head turn even without Xavier's questions, which seemed to never end, asking about what she'd done when she'd been first taken, how she'd been trained, what had happened when she'd found out about what had happened. She couldn't help but wonder why the hell he didn't bother just reading her mind if he had so many questions, as concentrating on the past wasn't one of her favorite pastimes, especially not when they had a war to plan as it was.

"I'm sorry, I know this all seems rather trite," Xavier said finally. "I simply wonder if we're going about this in the correct direction. Planning for Thanos. If the methods which you have described to me are similar to what you are currently putting the new soldiers through, then it serves to reason he'll be anticipating a battle."

"I don't know if he's anticipating anything," she said dryly. "I'll have to ask him the next time he pops over for tea."

Xavier pulled away from her, turning his chair around to stare, suddenly very serious, at her. Her mouth went dry, all sense of words and language disappearing as she stared down at him. He beckoned her closer, and, swallowing thickly, she bent over slightly to stand just a little bit closer.

"This is not a joke, Natasha," he said, and there was a strange edge to his words that she was unfamiliar with. Every other dealing with the professor she'd had had been a lighter affair, reminiscent to when they'd first begun talking. Now, staring into the deep blue eyes of the older man in front of her a very inhuman chill spread up her spine. Why did she have the feeling that he was taking her apart piece by piece, observing her, then slowly putting her back together in a different order than he'd first found her? "I know you mean well but you have not taken into consideration what it means that you are getting these people ready to militarize. We do not know where to find Thanos, where to attack him and hurt him most. Is this not what you have assured us?"

She nodded her head, not quite trusting herself to speak, not just then. She wondered why he bothered with questions when he could just as easily have jumped right to the point.

"Then would it not be the smarter option to plan counter attacks? It is only logical that the titan will attack Vanaheim, where he thinks us to be weakest. Perhaps we ought to have a faction of soldiers sent there in order to maintain the peace and keep them safe? More than that, perhaps you are wasting your time in teaching my people how to fight with swords and spears and shields. The enemy will not be using those weapons, will he?"

"I don't know," Natasha said, her lips pulling tight. "I'm teaching them what I know best. Steve and Sif are doing the exact same. I couldn't ask them for anything else, especially when they do not have any further power."

"I wouldn't ask you to take it upon yourself, I know you are far busier than you are used to." Xavier said. "I am asking, however, to open up my institute before, and make it mandatory that the others attend, to learn how to work as a cohesive group should the worst happen."

"I'm not going to make anyone fight who doesn't want to," Natasha said, voice sudden as she pulled away from him, crossing her arms over her chest. "Nothing's going to change that. You force people to fight and you'll looking at a higher possibility of desertion, which means it won't matter what fancy maneuvers or tricks you can teach them because they'll be as far away as they can possibly get before Thanos gets anywhere near to them. You're more than welcome to start up your school again, Xavier. But I'm not forcing anyone to do anything."

"Like you were forced to, you mean?" Xavier asked, his eyes narrowing as he sat back further in his chair, his hands resting on the wheels of his chair, knuckles white. He wasn't happy with her, she didn't need to read his mind in order to tell that, but what else was she supposed to say? She had a line she'd drawn when she'd first started thinking about training. There was no crossing it, not then, not ever.

If it killed them all then she'd go down bringing as many of Thanos' men down with her as she could, and that would be that. They'd all die together if it came to it.

Xavier paused, considering her for a moment, before he released the tight grip on his wheels and laced his hands together in his lap. "You think you're very brave, don't you? Wanting to stand and fight until you die?" He murmured, and something about the way he spoke sounded melancholy, as though he were a hundred years older than he really was, had seen more than he'd thought. "Haven't enough died because of your bravery and your desire to do what you saw right? Perhaps let someone else take the chance that they may be correct."

Ah. So that's where it came from, she supposed, as the pieces finally clicked together. She allowed herself a humorless smile, her cheeks aching with the strain of it. How long had it been since she'd managed a genuine one? "You've been talking to Erik a lot, haven't you?"

"Whether I have or have not is not important at the moment-."

"He's telling you he's not happy with what's been going on, that he wants to militarize you all. Charles you know that won't end well," Natasha said simply, her voice growing soft with sympathy. They wanted so badly for it all to be over, for the to somehow get some semblance of vengeance for the atrocities Thor had been forced to commit. She understood. She empathized. But sending mutants to be massacred would get nothing done except to dwindle their already pathetic numbers, and that she would not sit by and let happen. Even if Thor and Loki did manage to get the treaties with Alfheim and Jotunheim, would there be enough? She'd only heard the same rumors that Thor and Loki had about the Titan's strength, about the Other and his army of Chitauri that he commanded that would follow the Titan into battle.

And if rumors were true, if Thanos had promised vengeance to the Dark Elves that had been awakened upon the destruction of Midgard-.

She allowed for none of this to show on her face, good enough at keeping her thoughts well in check that she doubted if the change in them even registered to him. She hoped, for her sake and his sanity and belief in her own strength, that he remained oblivious. "You have to trust me, have to trust us. If any of us are to make it through these difficult times it will be through banding together, right? If we fall apart, any of us, then we're all doomed."

His expression soured for the briefest of moments, as though taken aback that she was lecturing him, as though he ought to have been doing it instead. The displeasure faded a moment later, the professor suddenly looking very tired and very old. She felt her heart go out for him, knowing all too well that it couldn't have been easy for him to have asked her such a thing, and she extended a hand to reach out to his shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything that's happened," she said, voice soft as she crouched so he wouldn't have to strain to look up at her anymore, all but willing him to feel the agony she put herself through every damn day she had to look out the window and know that people were suffering because of her. Because she hadn't been fast enough, because she hadn't spoken loudly enough about Thor not going down to Midgard, because she'd possibly pushed him away with her own marriage. The excuses she made to blame herself seemed as endless as her guilt, threatening to wash her away if she didn't hold fast to the possibility that a greater day would come from this suffering and this hardship. "And I promise you we are doing everything that is possible to make this as safe as possible. For everyone. But I need your trust, Charles. I can't do it without your support, yours and Erik's, and you can tell him that as well."


There was little to be said from there, and after Natasha had brought Xavier back into the castle she'd carried on towards her own shared bedroom, sure she'd find it empty, the other two likely having either gone down to breakfast or else disappeared to work out further treaties. They were both working themselves as hard as they could, preserving what peace and cultivating further growth between realms as quickly as they could, and for once she was grateful for the peace of the empty bedroom. The tub was already filled with hot water, a courtesy of the serving staff that Natasha would be forever grateful for, and after stripping from her sweat stained training clothing she sank past the once solid surface, keeping a dagger within arm's reach. Just in case.

The heat worked nearly as well on her tense muscles as Loki's expert hands, and it wasn't long before Natasha was closing her eyes and tipping her head back against the cool upper lip of the washtub, a soft sigh releasing from her lungs as she tried to relax. Tried, in vain, to clear her mind, to not let herself break down. Just once she'd like to find solace, one moment of comfort, especially on her own. She had to be able to do this on her own, find her own anchor to her happiness in case-in case-.

She swallowed thickly and her eyes snapped open in her haste to find something, anything else to focus on. She would not consider entertaining the idea that she could lose one of them, let alone both of them. She had to keep positive, had to force herself to keep going. She was not losing anything else to that power hungry son of a bitch who fancied himself above everything else, who courted Death and the destruction brought with it. She'd be damned before she let him rip something else away from her.

She set to scrubbing her skin furiously, working at it until it burned under the hot water and looked red as Volstagg's face after he'd drank too much, and still it didn't seem to be enough, never seemed to be enough to get wholly clean, but it would have to do. She let the stinging of her skin ground her even as it set her teeth on edge and caused her to shiver even with the extreme heat of the water. They were due to hear back from the light elves of Alfheim within the next few days, Thor's emissary having been gone for the better half of a week, and with the other realms in disarray since the destruction of one of the nine realms she supposed it was no shock that it was taking a little longer to receive word. Thor had been worried that the king might take offense to Thor not showing up himself, or at least Loki, but as the latter was deep within negotiations with his brother, Helblindi having shown up in his father's stead, Laufey wanting to keep a close eye on the goings on of his own people. They'd had a certain amount of civil unrest, from what Natasha had heard when Loki had come back complaining each evening, and it was making the royal family uncomfortable. What was worse, the stone giants seemed to be amassing at the Jotun's borders, and so if Thanos attacked Asgard while Laufey's men were defending themselves, they would be at a significant disadvantage, unable to call upon the Jotuns to help defend.

Assuming they even said yes to the juncture between the two realms, of course.

Muffling a shout of displeasure and frustration Natasha dipped her head under the water, releasing one slow air bubble after another as she opened her eyes under the water to stare up at the ceiling.

The green, bug eyes of a skrull stared back down at her, the thin lips pulled into a lecherous grin, the knife she'd kept at her side held aloft, ready to swing down and stab her in the gut.

With a splutter and a cry she rose out of the tub, sloshing water around her, shouting in surprise and whipping her arms towards her foe only to find-nothing.

Only her imagination, or perhaps the pent up magic she'd yet to release, having little to no time to practice or get with either Frigga or Loki to try and train herself once more. Her wrist where her runes had been burned itched furiously, as though she'd just cast magic, and it was only when she'd followed where her right hand had been pointing did she see that she'd obliterated a rather nice potted plant that Frigga had given to her in hopes that it would help her find peace in taking care of it, as though Nat had time. Now there was a smoking hole in the wall, the smashed ceramics and dirt a guilty reminder of what had once stood there. Dammit all.

"As if it's not enough, I'm losing my damn mind as well," Nat muttered, furious with herself, pulling one of the towels nearest the bath to wrap around her before stepping out. Without her having to say a word the water changed itself, clearing up until another hot bath stood waiting for whomever needed it next, and with her dagger firmly in hand Natasha moved back to the main room, changing and strapping her knives to her body to prepare to meet the day, chin held as high as she possibly could, and doing everything in her power to keep from jumping at the slightest of noises. The people needed a role model they could look up to, one who was fearless. Strong. 'I must be their strength.'

There was simply no room for anything else.


A/N: Thank you all so much for reading! If you are interested, there is a fanmix that accompanies this fic, by the same name, on 8tracks. As ever, comments, reviews, criticisms, everything is appreciated. Many thanks again!