A/N: Takes place after 6X19.
Disclaimer: I own nothing pertaining to the Mentalist.
Hell
He thought he knew hell and was past it. He figured that with Red John dead, his life would begin to make more sense again. Hiding in Mexico had been much easier than expected. His Spanish wasn't great, but it was passable. If he was completely honest with himself, losing Lisbon was the most difficult part of leaving the U.S. She was the only reason he bothered to stay connected to the states. She was also the reason he had decided to come back.
The moment she told him she was thinking about leaving, had broken his heart all over again. The shards stabbed his chest, and finding them all seemed impossible. She had put them together the first time. It was very likely she hadn't meant to do it. Fate only knows how she did it. He hadn't noticed it at the time. It was only once he had to start letting go, that he truly realized the depth of his feelings for her. It was going to be hell without her; that much he did know.
"She's been gone 10 days now Jane, stop pouting," Cho said from behind his desk. Her desk hadn't been filled yet. Staring at the empty space by his couch made it hurt even more. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep. He hadn't slept in days, something that is foreign to him again. He sighed in frustration. She had affected or changed almost everything in his life; even his couch. There were so very many memories associated with her and his couch. She was the only person he really welcomed on it any way.
"Dead guy in Houston, he's related to a state senator, let's move people," Fisher said as she walked across the room, "Jane, you're with me." Internally he groaned. Working with Fisher used to be fun. Fisher was so much like Lisbon at first. Now, Fisher just reminded him that Lisbon was gone. He didn't care about the dead man in Houston. He was dead, his life was over. He was lucky. He didn't have to live in this hell anymore; this place of heat and sweat and never ending pain. When would he escape the pain?
"Jane, it's been 2 months, c'mon man," Cho told him. He nodded, but he already knew. It had been two horribly long months without her. He felt himself slipping away from reality. He couldn't remember the case that they were working on. Fisher was annoyed with him and Abbot shook his head every time he walked by. He could swear Abbot mumbled incoherently when he saw him. Of course, Fisher had banned him from sleeping at the FBI.
His phone vibrated in his pocket, but he didn't answer it. It won't be her. They hadn't talked to each other since she left. It's like she forgot the past 10 years. He's lost his best friend. The world couldn't be much bleaker to him. He closed his eyes to sleep, but his phone vibrated again, keeping him awake. He grumbled as he looks at it. He didn't know the number, but it had a D.C. area code and his spirits lifted for an instant.
"Teresa?"
"She's missing Patrick. They can't find her," Pike answered. He didn't hear any of the details. He was running through the FBI faster than he could remember running in his life. He had to get to her. He snapped his phone shut, hanging up on the man that had meant so much to her over the past months. Pike didn't understand. He was the only one that ccould find her. He always had been. He will always find her.
"Her last known location was, here," the agent in front of him said pointing at a nonsense location on the map. Lisbon wouldn't have been taken from there. He could get information, but to really know where she had gone? They have been relying on Pike. He laughed internally. Pike might think he knew her, but no one could predict her movement better than him. Patrick Jane will find Lisbon in 24 hours. He had already staked so much on it. After 48 hours there was little chance of finding her, he had 24 hours to do his job. He will do it. He had to do it.
Pike cornered him in the kitchen 18 hours in. It's a bad time. He was formulating his plan to get her back before sharing it. He had to take everything into consideration and the hysterical man in front of him is not only bothering him, but he was also taking his mind off of the complicated process of making tea.
"You said you could find her," Pike ground his teeth as he said it, "you said it wouldn't take long."
"It won't if you get out of my way," he answered back calmly. He continued to methodically take his tea bag in and out of the cup. It was the only way to hold back his temper.
"You're incompetent," Pike said with a hysterical laugh, "she's gone."
"No," he said softly.
"You have no idea where she is, and time is running out for her, she's gone. I'll never see her again," Pike almost wailed. He couldn't feel any emotion for him. He had felt like this for the past two months.
"You are not in the right mind to be here, Pike. Go home," he said coldly. He didn't need a man that couldn't control his emotions helping him. He needed everyone to be calm; to hold it together.
"You have no idea what I'm going through…" Pike started. He could't hold it in, it exploded from him. "I know EXACTLY how you feel, Agent Pike. I know what is at stake. I know what will happen when we run out of time. I am keenly aware of what will be lost. You are not the only one who is afraid. You just can't see past the end of your nose to see the other people around you working to find her. If you think sitting on your ass and pouting will help her, than do it. I'm going to go find her." Pike didn't reply. He never expected him to.
It takes Marcus Pike a good 10 minutes to collect himself and come out to listen to him. The FBI agents in D.C. don't want to follow his plan initially. He was almost reduced to begging. Thankfully, Abbot called and told them to listen, and do exactly as he said. He finally had free reign on this one.
This was the first time he could remember not putting himself front and center in a case. He forced himself to stay back, and wait. Pike was out there ready to rescue her. He was allowing Pike to be the hero. Pike was under strict orders not to tell her who saved her. She didn't need to know. She needed to stay here and be with a man who could treat her the way she deserved. A tear rolled down his cheek. He thought it was hard giving her up the first time. Voluntarily giving her up is much worse. It burns through his soul, leaving nothing in its wake. It was hell letting go, but he knew he has to do it.
He watched on a small television screen set up just for him in a van 3 blocks from the building she was being held in. He knew she was there. The kidnapper left a note. He recognized the hand writing and sentence structure from a previous case. The man had never like Lisbon and had threatened her before. Finding him after he left prison had been much more difficult, but he did it. She would be safe soon.
The flash of a Flash Bang grenade filling the screen brought him back to the present. If he believed in a higher being he would be praying right now. Instead, he was pacing in the small van. 3 steps each way was not far. It frustrated him that he couldn't leave the truck. He wanted to run as fast as he could toward her. He knew that once he saw her face on the screen he would have to leave because if he saw her in person he would never want to leave.
The next moment her face filled the screen in front of him. She looked like she had been through hell and back. He had no way of knowing whether it was her blood, or not, but there was a lot on her. Her once perfect face is marred by an angry red line just above her eyebrow. He studied the image for as long as he could. He wanted to assess her injuries as best as he was able to without actually seeing her. Pike will take care of her.
15 minutes later the ambulance rushed past him carrying her to the local hospital. He breathed a sigh of relief. He had been holding his breath since he found out she was missing. A small piece of him felt whole again knowing that she was safe once again. "Take care of her," he whispered to no one in particular. It was time for him to go back to Texas. He was needed there. It was clear to him that he was no longer needed here.
Three months had gone by since he saved her life for the final time. He checked his mail every day, dreading it. He was afraid of receiving a wedding invitation. The P.O. Box at the local Post Office is the scariest thing in his life right now. That was the easiest place to get mail considering he was always staying at a different place in his trailer.
Today felt different as he walked to the door of the Post Office. He couldn't quite put his finger on the reason, though. He shook it off and walked through the door only to be stopped as he crossed the threshold. He would recognize her back anywhere. He turned to leave before she had a chance to see him. At least he thought he did.
"Jane?" her voice echoed in the room. It sounded sweet, like a summer rain. Turning to face her was his only choice.
"Lisbon, how are you?" he said mechanically. He saw the pain slice through her eyes. She smiled at him. It was fake. Her smile didn't reach her eyes. There was uncertainty hidden in her gaze as well. He could always read her like an open book.
"I'm ok, Jane, just changing my address."
"Aren't you supposed to do that in D.C.?" he let his confusion be evident to her. She laughed, actually laughed at him.
"I already did. D.C. wasn't for me, Jane. I missed it here. The year-round warm weather, the food, the people…" he didn't miss the way she trailed off and looked at him and let her statement hang in the air. There was tension between them that he wasn't quite comfortable with. It was not an uncomfortable tension, only a foreign tension. He wasn't sure he knew what to do with it.
Of course, she decided to move first. He was usually the hugger, but this time he was caught off guard. Her arms were wrapped around his back and holding on tight. He was almost positive that the hug was some sort of apology, but he didn't know what she was apologizing for.
"I left you, Patrick," she whispered. He struggled to meet her gaze and it hit him. She used to get so very angry when he left her and didn't contact her. He had shrugged it off at the time. Now? Now he knew exactly how she felt every time he didn't return a text or phone call.
"It's ok, Teresa. You came back," he said with a smile. He returned her hug. She nodded and a ghost of a smile crossed her lips. Having her back in Texas would make his life hell once again, but he wouldn't have it any other way.
