Description: AU; Castiel and Gabriel are adopted brothers. Gabriel is the younger, more reckless and messed up of the two, who always depends on Castiel to save him from himself.
Warnings: talk of self-infliction.
Word Count:2,795
Castiel sat in his office, paperwork spread out across his desk, and a pen twirling between his fingers. He was working out the kinks in his the defense for a man he was representing. The man was being accused of lashing out on his supposed drug dealer, causing bodily harm. Castiel's job was to find out whythis man was being accused of that, and find a way to prove his innocence.
The low thrum of his phone vibrating in the pocket of his slacks pulled Castiel out of work mode, and he dropped the pen; shoving the same hand to his pants. Pulling his phone out, Castiel didn't have to look at the screen to know who it was from, instead he hit the call button and pressed the device to his head.
"Gabriel." The word came out as a sigh, and Castiel pinched the bridge of his nose roughly. His younger brother, Gabriel, was always getting into trouble, and never ceased to call Castiel while at work.
"Cas.." Gabriel's voice sounded shaky and Castiel knew he was high, or worse - in pain. Before Gabriel could open his mouth to say what was wrong, Castiel was shutting down his computer and standing, grabbing his jacket. Holding the phone between his head and shoulder, Castiel shrugged into his jacket and held the phone again.
"Just tell me where you are, Gabriel, and I'll come get you." Castiel walked around his desk, grabbing his bag and slinging it over his shoulder as he made his way to the door. Shutting the lights off, Castiel shut the door behind him and walked down the hall, toward the elevator.
"Saint Mary's hospital." Castiel almost dropped the phone when he heard the word hospital and swallowed hard. His baby brother - adopted or not - was in the fucking hospital, and Castiel was worried he was high in some crack house.
"I'll be right there, Gabe." Castiel rushed the words out, waited for Gabriel to acknowledge the words, and hung up. Impatiently, Castiel tapped the button for the elevator and grumbled curse words under his breath.
Since their parents had died, Castiel had assumed responsibility for Gabriel; keeping up on his whereabouts, and making sure he was staying out of trouble. Whenever something happened to his brother, Castiel felt responsible; felt as though it were his fault his brother had gotten beaten up for a gram of cocaine, or even robbed on his way home. Now was no exception; Gabriel was in the hospital, from God knows what, and Castiel was standing in his firm's office; waiting for the damned elevator to stop so he could get on it.
After a minute, Castiel sighed in relief as the elevator doors open and he hurried through them, hitting a button that would send him to the main lobby. The doors closed and the elevator began its descent down to the first floor while Castiel leaned against the wall, his foot tapping impatiently.
When the elevator stopped and the doors open, Castiel practically ran through the opening, almost running a few of his co-workers over. He muttered an apology before bursting through the front doors, and into the chilly afternoon. Saint Mary's hospital was three blocks from Castiel's law firm and he debated just walking, or grabbing a taxi.
He chose the latter option, realizing it was too cold for a sane person to walk in New York City and flagged down a cab. Castiel was jumping into the back of the cab before it came to a stop, almost yelling his destination at the taxi driver. In thirty seconds, they were off and Castiel found himself being able to breathe a bit easier.
The cab stopped in front of the hospital and Castiel dug out some money, counting the bills and shoving them through the window, whispering, "keep the change," before darting out of the car. The hospital doors opened and Castiel ran to the nurse's station.
"Hi, I'm.." Castiel panted, pausing for a second to breathe and collect himself. "I'm looking for my brother—- Gabriel Novak." He watched as a redheaded nurse dropped her attention to something in front of her, before her eyes were on him again.
"Down the hall, in room 22." Castiel nodded, muttering a soft thank you, before he headed down the hall; walking briskly this time, instead of running. Skidding to a stop, Castiel looked at the room number - 22, in shiny gold letters - and pushed the door open.
The first thing Castiel noticed was Gabriel laying down in the hospital bed, IVs and other machinery hooked to his body. Then Castiel noticed the bandages wrapped around his brother's wrists, and his heart sank. Walking into the room further, Castiel dropped his bag onto one of the vinyl-lined chairs, before pulling the other to Gabriel's bedside.
"Hey." Castiel whispered, taking one of Gabriel's hands in both of his own, rubbing the cold skin gently. Gabriel turned his head, eyes blinking open, giving Castiel a small, drug-induced smile.
"Cas.." Gabriel's voice was even softer than it had been on the phone and his heart dropped even further into the pit in his stomach. Castiel manged to force a tiny smile, tears rimming his eyes as he looked Gabriel over; it had only been days since they last saw each other, but the younger man looked smaller, malnourished.
"What happened?" Castiel asked, watching as Gabriel opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the door opening, and footsteps as someone entered the room. Castiel followed Gabriel's gaze, eyes falling on a tall man in a lab coat and bright green scrubs.
"Mr. Novak?" The man spoke, motioning for Castiel to join him and Castiel nodded, turning back to smile at Gabriel. Dropping his brother's hands, Castiel stood and approached the doctor, eyes narrowing slightly.
"I'm his brother - what happened to him?" There was a considerable amount of worry in Castiel's voice as he spoke, crossing his arms over his chest as he eyed the doctor. The man in front of him sighed, and slipped a clipboard under his arm.
"It appears that your brother slit his wrists, several times, actually. Someone spotted him as they were passing by, called for an ambulance, and…" The doctor's eyes flashed from Gabriel to Castiel. "Here we are."
Castiel nodded, his face draining completely of color as the doctor turned and walked back out. His limbs felt heavy as he turned, walking back to the bed, and sat down again; his hand resting on Gabriel's. Neither of them spoke for a while; the room filled with the sound of beeping, and Gabriel's shallow breathing.
"Why'd you do it, Gabriel?" Castiel broke the silence, eyes falling on Gabriel's just before they moved away, falling on the ceiling. Gabriel sucked in a deep breath, letting it out in a cough and swallowing hard, closing his eyes.
"You have your job," Gabriel started, turning his hand over and feeling Castiel's fingers lacing between his own. "And what do I have? Nothing, Cas; I don't have my job anymore, and sometimes.." Swallowing hard, Gabriel composed himself and sighed again, letting it out through his nose.
"Sometimes I don't even have you. Not after the last time this happened - I told you I did it because you wouldn't…" Gabriel stopped himself, opening his eyes and turning his attention back to Castiel. His older brother was looking down, while the pad of his thumb moved along Gabriel's bandages.
"I know, Gabriel.. I'm sorry, okay? Just.." Castiel sighed, lifting his head until his eyes were back on Gabriel's. "Come live with me. I'll help you get clean, while giving you a place to stay - rent free, as long as you agree not to do drugs under my roof - and I'll even help get you a job."
Gabriel smiled softly as Castiel spoke and lifted his other hand, wincing slightly as he moved it to run his fingers down Castiel's jaw. The skin underneath his fingertips was scratchy, just the way Gabriel always liked Castiel's face to be, and he sighed contently.
"Okay."
With that one word, Castiel and Gabriel's world was set into motion; Gabriel was let out of the hospital hours later, and Castiel took him home, to start over. The first night Gabriel was home, he was going through withdraws, and required Castiel to be there to hold him as he shook violently. His body shook hard against Castiel's, but the older brother held the youngest; smoothing his hair and singing softly to him.
Eventually Gabriel's body stopped shaking, and he fell asleep in Castiel's arms, sometime after 3 AM. Castiel had laid him down on his own bed, covered him up and kissed the top of his head, whispering a prayer before he left the room.
Castiel knew that getting Gabriel clean would require late nights, and arguments, but he was glad that it was starting off on a good note. Yawning, Castiel walked through his apartment, making his way to the study, before falling into his chair. He was lucky that he didn't have to work the next day, his only day off, but Castiel was worried that he would never get his work done in time. Before long, Castiel was leaning against the back of his chair, head back against the cold leather, snoring as he dreamed about a life beforeGabriel started using drugs.
Birds woke Castiel at 7 AM, and he groaned, rubbing a hand along his face before remembering the night before. Just to be safe, Castiel crept to his bedroom and opened the door, seeing Gabriel sprawled across the sheets, legs and arms intertwined in the cover. With a small chuckle, Castiel shut the door and walked to the kitchen, immediately moving to the coffee pot.
While Castiel worked on throwing together breakfast for his brother - coffee, eggs, bacon, the whole nine yards - Gabriel was waking up in Castiel's bed, sticky with sweat from the previous night. His head was throbbing, along with his wrists, but Gabriel pushed himself out of bed and into a vertical position.
Shuffling across the room, Gabriel opened the door and was hit in the face by the smells from the kitchen. The first whiff made Gabriel nauseous, but the closer he got to the kitchen, the more appetizing the food smelled.
"Smells good." Gabriel's voice was rough and low, and he cleared his throat, lifting a hand to scratch the top of his head. Castiel turned, eyes falling on Gabriel in all his sleepy glory, and smiled, nodding before his attention turned back to the skillet on the stove.
"I figured you would be hungry." Castiel moved eggs around in the pan just until they were set and snapped the stove off. Pulling the pan off of the hot burner, Castiel turned to set it on the island in the middle of the kitchen. Among this counter was coffee, orange juice, bacon, toast, and, of course, the eggs that Castiel had just set down.
Gabriel sat on one of the stools, grabbing a plate before he was piling breakfast foods onto it; his stomach growling loudly. Castiel chuckled and followed suit, except he didn't have quite as much food as Gabriel, before taking a seat in front of his brother.
The two of them ate in silence, the only noises being various sounds of pleasure as Gabriel devoured his food. Castiel finished before Gabriel and stood, taking his plate and cup to the sink before setting them down. Turning back around, Castiel's eyes fell on Gabriel once more, and he sighed. Gabriel might have been his brother, but Castiel could only think of one night, months ago.
*Flashback.*
Castiel had gotten home, finding his door open slightly, heart racing as he entered his apartment. Everything had seemed to be in place, until Castiel reached his bedroom, flipping the light on. On his bed lay Gabriel, spread out, width-wise, on the mattress, his legs hanging off the edge.
"Gabriel!" Castiel shouted, dropping his things onto the floor as he moved to his brother. Gabriel sat up at the sound of Castiel's voice, a goofy smile on his face. The kid had wrapped his arms around Castiel, pulling him into a tight hug before Castiel shoved him down.
"What are you doing here?" Castiel was fuming, yelling everything at Gabriel instead of just asking in a calm voice. His kid brother had looked up at him, the goofy smile never leaving his face.
"Wanted to see you, Cas." That's when Gabriel's hands were on Castiel's belt, two seconds before Castiel had smacked them away.
"Breaking in to see me, Gabe? You could have called!" Castiel's voice grew louder as he kept pushing Gabriel's hands away, finally pinning them to his legs. In the process, Castiel had bent down; his face level with Gabriel's, and inches apart.
Gabriel bridged the gap, pressing his lips to Castiel's, hands wrenching from his brother's hold, moving back to his belt. Castiel pulled back, pushing Gabriel away before staggering back against the wall. Gabriel sat on the bed, the smile wiped from his face and replaced with a frown. The kid looked heartbroken, but Castiel didn't care in that moment; he couldn't do that with Gabriel, and he wouldn't.
*Present.*
"Cas?" Gabriel's voice brought Castiel out of his trance and he snapped his head to the left, eyes catching his brother's. There was a smile on Gabriel's face, a tiny one; barely anything there at all, and he had his hand on Castiel's wrist.
Castiel didn't say anything, just wrapped Gabriel up in his arms and kissed him gently, holding their bodies tightly together. The feeling of Gabriel's lips against his own sent Castiel into a frenzy of emotions, reverting him back to the night Gabriel had broken into his apartment. He knew he shouldn't be kissing Gabriel - even ifthey weren't blood, but something drove Castiel to push Gabriel into his bedroom.
As Castiel parted his lips, Gabriel opened his own and sucked the breath from the man kissing him, hands groping at his back. After a moment, Castiel pulled back and coughed before catching his breath, his lips plastered against Gabriel's neck. Throwing his head back, Gabriel shut his eyes and grabbed Castiel's hair, wincing at the pain in his wrist.
Then Gabriel was on the bed with Castiel hovering over him; biting and sucking at his skin while Gabriel let out soft whimpers. A voice in the back of Castiel's mind told him to stop, told him it was wrong, and they shouldn't be doing it, but he ignored it; his lips tracing the outline of Gabriel's jaw.
"Cas." Gabriel whispered, fingers twining in Castiel's hair as the older man bit at his skin, drawing out a long, low moan. The pain in his wrists was radiating through his arms and Gabriel fell against the bed, moaning out in pain. That sound shook Castiel and he snapped out of it; pulling away from Gabriel, his expression going from lustful to concerned.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have.." Castiel whispered before he gently wrapped a hand around Gabriel's forearm and pressed a kiss to the wound on his wrist. He repeated the action with the other wrist before scrambling off of the bed and walking to the bathroom. When Castiel came back out, he was holding a glass of water in one hand, and two pain killers in the other. He handed both to Gabriel, watching as he took the pills and washed them down with water, before setting the glass on his nightstand.
"Hold me, please." Gabriel asked when he laid back down, eyes locked on Castiel as he nodded. Crawling beside Gabriel, Castiel took him in his arms and held him close, resting his chin on the younger man's shoulder. Gabriel closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath, pressing himself closer to Castiel.
Smiling, Castiel began singing softly to Gabriel; rocking him back and forth slowly like their mother had done when they were children, even singing the same song. As he sung, Castiel felt tears streaming down his face and he closed his eyes, pulling Gabriel closer to his body.
Gabriel was the only person he had left, and when Castiel stopped singing, he said a silent prayer; praying that Gabriel would stop doing drugs. He also prayed that maybe, just maybe, they could start over; fall in love like normal people, or maybe just go back to being the broken little family they were.
Either way, Castiel was thankful for his broken family; as scarred as they were, Castiel thought they were perfect, and he wouldn't have traded Gabriel for anything in the world.
