Back In The Saddle
"Why'd it have to be frigging witches?" Dean whined. "I thought this was gonna be a nice, simple vengeful spirit deal. I'd have stayed in the bunker with Cas doing research if I'd known, let you deal with the touchy-feely crap."
"Touchy-feely crap? Dean, she just found out not only that her dad killed her mum, but that her boyfriend was sleeping with her sister. I think she's allowed to flip out a bit."
Dean pulled a couple of beers out the trunk and passed one to Sam. "Flip out, yeah. Have a one-night stand, get drunk. Don't start putting hexbags together and killing people."
Sam sighed. "Yeah, I think she's got that now." he took a sip of his beer. "Good to get out of the bunker for a change though."
"Yeah." Dean smiled. "And hunting something that isn't angels or demons."
"Hello boys!"
Sam dumped his beer on the car, grabbed the devil's trap handcuffs out of his pockets, turned, and snapped them on Crowley's wrists.
Crowley raised an eyebrow. "Fast reflexes, moose. Were you expecting me?"
Sam glared. "What do you want, Crowley?"
"I don't want anything." Crowley replied, obviously trying to sound innocent. "I do, however, have some information which could be useful to you."
"Out with it, Crowley, before I decide you're more useful dead than alive." Dean said, continuing to lean against the impala and drink his beer.
"I'm hurt, squirrel. By the way, is that the first blade in your pocket, or-"
"I'm not pleased to see you." he turned to Sam. "Watch him. I'm calling Cas, I want him here to help deal with whatever this son of a bitch has shown up to get us to deal with."
He walked off, leaving Sam scowling at Crowley who just smirked back. Why the fuck was he here? What demonic mess did he want them to clean up for him this time? For the King of Hell, he was doing a piss-poor job of running the place. Still, at least now they had an excuse to get Cas' head out of the books for a bit. The guy was doing his head in searching constantly for a way to reopen the pearly gates. It was mainly the knowledge that while he was sleeping, Cas was getting the job done. It made him feel weird - having someone else in charge of a hunt. It'd be good for Cas to have some time out, even if it was because of Crowley. Dean pulled out his phone and went to the list of recent calls. Cas' number was there right under Sam's, and he pressed dial. It rang for a bit, then Cas answered.
"Hello Dean."
For a second Dean wondered how Cas knew it was him - was he spying on them again? Then he remembered caller i.d. "Hey Cas. We were hoping you could head over and give us a hand. Crowley's showed up, claims he's got -" he paused, feeling the weird sensation of someone watching him, and turned to see Cas right behind him.
The two of them stared at each other for a bit, before Dean hung up the phone. Cas copied him.
"He claims he's got some intel for us." Dean said awkwardly. "I thought your wings were gone, or broken or whatever."
Cas kept looking at him. "I found a spell to restore my grace. It's not perfect, but it's got my wings back, at least for now." he grinned.
Dean smiled. "That's great." he hesitated. "How did you know where we were?"
Cas looked down guiltily. He appeared to be thinking of what to say, but was saved by Sam clearing his throat. Cas and Dean looked at him.
"Are you done?" Sam asked. "Can we get on with the job?"
Dean scowled at Crowley, who was looking knowingly at him and Cas. "If there even is a job. I still think just killing him now is a decent plan."
Crowley narrowed his eyes. "If you don't want my information, kill me. However, if you want to stop the army of demons from getting out of Hell, you need me."
"What? Dean looked at the demon, confused. "You want us to stop a load of demons getting out of Hell?" he raised his eyebrows. "That makes no sense."
"Nope." Sam agreed.
"You think I want chaos?"
"Yes." Cas answered, pointing out the obvious and earning a scowl from Crowley.
Dean rolled his eyes. If Crowley's plan was to distract them, he was succeeding. Cas looked like he was about to lose his temper and start beating Crowley to a pulp for keeping him from his search for the pearly gates. He put a hand on his shoulder and looked at Crowley.
"It's very simple. You have three options. Option one, you tell us what you know, all of it, and we decide whether or not to help you. Option two, we chuck you in the trunk, take you back to the bunker and lock you back in our dungeon. Option three, my personal favourite, we stab you in the face."
"Well…" Crowley considered. "I have no immediate desire to return to your less than delightful jail cell. I also happen to have a vested interest in keeping my face. Besides, the entire reason I came here was to tell you what's going on!"
Sam raised an eyebrow. "Pretty sure you came here to give us a small amount of information and manipulate us into doing your dirty work."
Crowley looked at him. "Isn't that what I said?" he held up his hands, smirking at the expression on Sam's face. "Okay, okay. After we killed Abaddon -"
"-We?" Dean protested.
Crowley ignored him. "-I assumed Hell would settle down. The problem is, it turns out some of Abaddon's fiercest supporters still aren't keen on my rule. One of them, according to my sources, managed to find a Devil's gate, and is planning on opening the gates of Hell and letting everyone out. Now, while this is bad for me, as I'll potentially lose support and control, I'm sure you'll agree that the real issue is to the humans up top."
Cas glared at him suspiciously. "Why do you care about the humans on earth?"
Crowley laughed. "Oh, I don't. I just needed a way to get tweedle-dum and tweedle-dee to help me out. The gate's warded, I can't get in to protect it."
Dean looked at Sam and Cas. Crowley had admitted outright that he was manipulating them. He was the King of Hell. They shouldn't even be considering working with him. But if he was telling the truth… They were still dealing with the demons that had been let out last time a gate got opened, and it had only been open for a few minutes. If this demon got someone to open the gate for him and no one stopped it, who knew how many hellspawn would get out? Could they take that risk?
"Dean, we can't really be considering this. It's Crowley. There's always a plan. There are plans within plans. Plans within plans within plans. He'll be using us somehow."
"Yeah, Sam, like that thought hadn't occurred to me. But if there's any truth to this…"
"Dean's right." Cas said solemnly. "No matter the advantages to Crowley, if he's even partially telling the truth then we're all in danger. As is the rest of the planet. At the very least we need to check out this Devil's gate." he took a few paces towards Crowley, stopping just out of arm's reach. "Tell us where it is."
"What's the magic word?"
There was a long pause, before Cas turned around, looking at the Winchesters with a mystified expression.
"I don't understand." he said, baffled. "Why do I need to say an incantation?"
Dean gave him the mother of all eye rolls. "He means 'please', you big dork. At least he better do."
"It's in New York."
Sam considered this. "City or state?"
Crowley gave a twisted smile. "If I tell you, what incentive do you have not to - what was it, squirrel? Oh yes. Stab me in the face. Sorry boys, you're not getting it that easy. I'll make you a deal... The location of the Devil's gate for the right to ride along without being murdered. Soon as we're there and you take these handcuffs off, we can all go back to hating each other like normal. Agreed?"
"No small print?" Sam checked. "No 'oops, I accidentally wrote in a clause giving me your souls and denying you the use of your legs'?"
"Would I do that?"
"Yes." was the unanimous response.
Crowley sighed. "Fine. Trust me, don't trust me. You'll be the ones with an angry horde of demons on your hands in a few days. All I'm asking is to tag along for the journey. Besides, if I'm lying, you've already got me chained up. What have you got to lose?"
"Nothing I'd lament being rid of." Cas growled.
There was a long pause, before Sam spoke up.
"Was that a-?"
"-Pirates of the Caribbean reference? Yeah. I made him take some time out from the books and watch the first one while you were out hunting that rugaru the other week." Dean smiled. "I think he enjoyed it."
"Right…" Crowley said slowly. "Well, putting aside your cosy nights in with the little angel…" Dean started forward, but Cas put out a hand to stop him. "We're heading for Central Park. If you three are still interested."
Cas put his hands out, and would have flown them there, but Dean jumped back.
"Nooo way, Cas. If we're going, we're doing it like any other job. We're taking the car."
"It would be faster to fly."
"Sure. But there's a couple of issues. Like, how are you going to fly three of us there at once? Besides, how much do you know about this spell you've found? I don't want you burning your grace out over this." he looked Cas in the eye, daring him to disagree.
Cas stared back at him for a while, trying to think of a counter-argument Dean would accept. The fact was, right now he felt fine. As Dean would say, he'd 'got his mojo back'. But problematically, the spell book he'd found had warned that if too much angelic power was used, the spell would stop working immediately and he'd be back at square one, with borrowed grace burning him out from the inside. It had also failed to specify how much angelic power was too much. He'd proved that flying himself around wasn't overdoing it, but apart from that, he had no idea. Not that he'd admit that to Dean. He'd only worry, and probably refuse to let him do anything useful.
"It's not up to you to decide what or who I'll burn myself out for, Dean."
"Personally, I don't want you burning out over anything! I don't want you dead!" Dean glared at Cas, who looked down at the floor.
Crowley cleared his throat. "Very touching. How about we get going? I'd call shotgun, but-"
"-Get in the back, Crowley." Dean ordered moodily. "Cas, will you keep an eye on him?"
Cas sighed deeply. "Of course, Dean."
The two of them managed to get into the car without too much in the way of arguments or physical violence. Dean considered yelling at Crowley for the sneaky kick in the shins he'd spotted, but decided that (all things considered) Cas was perfectly capable of dealing with that himself.
"Hey Dean."
"Yeah, Sammy?" Dean looked at his brother, who seemed to be trying not to laugh.
"Two hunters, an angel and the King of Hell get into a car…" he paused. Dean wondered where the hell he was going with the joke. Just when he thought Sam had forgotten the punchline, he spoke up. "How much unresolved sexual tension is there?"
"Screw you."
Sam couldn't help laughing, despite the murderous look on Dean's face. Honestly, that joke was worth any punches Dean threw at him. The soulful looks, the lack of personal space or boundaries, the 'profound bond'... Add to that how defensive Dean was, well, it was just funny to point out.
"Hey thing one," Crowley said, leaning out of the car window and looking at Dean, "what's with the sour face?" he ignored Dean's evil stare and instead leaned out far enough to catch Sam's eye. "Come on, don't keep it to yourselves… I always enjoy a joke at someone else's expense."
"Get your head back in the car before I cut it off." Dean said hotly, narrowing his eyes first at Crowley, who ducked back into the car, and then at Sam. Sam just winked at him and got into the passenger seat. Dean swore under his breath. It was going to be a very long car ride. And it would be a miracle if they all made it there alive.
